Looking So Fuckin' Fierce And Fly In The Club With Acid Green Hair And Eyebrows... Haters Gonna Hate!

Looking so fuckin' fierce and fly in the club with acid green hair and eyebrows... Haters gonna hate!

87th Academy Awards : Best Director

Alejandro González Iñárritu for Birdman Or (The Unexpected Virtue Of Ignorance)

Richard Linklater for Boyhood

Bennett Miller for Foxcatcher

Wes Anderson for The Grand Budapest Hotel

Morten Tyldum for The Imitation Game

87th Academy Awards : Best Actress

Marion Cotillard as Sandra Bya in Two Days, One Night

Felicity Jones as Jane Wilde Hawking in The Theory Of Everything

Julianne Moore as Dr. Alice Howland in Still Alice

Rosamund Pike as Amy Elliott-Dunne in Gone Girl

Reese Witherspoon as Cheryl Strayed in Wild

87th Academy Awards : Best Actor

Steve Carell as John Eleuthère Du Pont in Foxcatcher

Bradley Cooper as Chris Kyle in American Sniper

Benedict Cumberbatch as Alan Turing in The Imitation Game

Michael Keaton as Riggan Thomson/Birdman in Birdman Or (The Unexpected Virtue Of Ignorance)

Eddie Redmayne as Stephen Hawking in The Theory Of Everything

oooh, do stony since the new avengers trailer just came out!

Does grand romantic gestures

Tony. Because he has the ridiculous resource to pull of epic romantic stunts to remind Steve he loves him every day. While Steve appreciates Tony’s efforts, it becomes a bit embarassing whenever BuzzFeed does an article on Tony’s latest romance stunt because we all know Tony has this “go big or go home” attitude.

Throws shade the best

Steve. Which is surprising to Tony since Steve’s such a good guy. Little does he know Steve has marathoned plenty of RuPaul’s Drag Race to bring him up to speed on the art of throwing shade.

Secretly loves to read fan fiction and look at fan art about themselves

Tony. Only he would get busted by Steve because he carelessly left his Starkpad in their bedroom at Avengers Tower. Needless to say, Steve hasn’t blushed this much since realizing what fondue actually meant.

Is likely to be sucked in a Wikipedia black hole for hours

Steve. Despite the site’s flaws and sometimes unreliable content, Steve loves to browse through hundreds of articles and absorb information about a wide variety of subjects. Tony would only roll his eyes and mutter that J.A.R.V.I.S. would make a much more reliable source of data information.

Hates to eat vegetables

Tony. Anything that doesn’t have inhuman amounts of caffeine or isn’t greasy and meaty by default is something he’s instantly averse to, but that doesn’t stop Steve from encouraging him to eat vegetables. Tony will only eat them begrudgingly because he’s afraid Steve might withhold sex from him if he doesn’t.

Is the most active on social media

Steve. Since Tony gave him a Starkphone, Steve’s been killing it all over Twitter and Instagram with his tweets and pictures that mostly show the Avengers goofing off in their headquarters, though his private Facebook profile is reserved strictly for his teammates and other people he explicitly trusts.

Rides shotgun during group road trips

Steve. Because Tony insists on being behind the wheel and Steve is next to him to make sure Tony doesn’t pull off crazy Fast and Furious moves on the road.

Belongs in which Hogwarts house

They both took the official sorting on Pottermore and discovered that Steve is a Hufflepuff and Tony is a Slytherin. Tony quips that Steve should probably redesign the color scheme of his Captain America suit in Hufflepuff colors only to be shot down by Steve’s cutting remark that Tony should discard the Gryffindor colors of his Iron Man suit in favor of the Slytherin house colors.

Belongs in which District of Panem

After being up to speed with the books and movies, Steve commented that Tony would really thrive in District 3 since they produce electronics. Tony smiled and says Steve would be perfect in District 2 owing to his military training and background.

Insists on sleeping with the nightlight on

Steve. Because now that Tony has removed the arc reactor from his chest, Steve convinces Tony to find a suitable substitute and Tony creates a replica of the arc reactor that only functions as a nightlight and installs it on the wall above their bed.

Gets the most phone numbers when they go out to a bar/club

While Tony is more well-versed in the art of flirtation, Steve manages to get more calling cards and paper napkins with numbers scrawled on them at the end of the night without even trying.

Is likely to film a really hot sex tape of them fucking and upload it on Pornhub

Tony. And of course, he instructs J.A.R.V.I.S. to get the best angles possible in order to showcase how good they both look fucking each other like jackrabbits.

Can quote the most lines of dialogue verbatim while watching Mean Girls

Steve. Normally, Tony would be pissed but he’s actually proud of his superhusband that he can perfectly quote one of the most iconic teen movies in film history.

Loves to binge-watch trashy reality TV shows

Steve. From all the Real Housewives to freaky shows like Hoarders, Steve is game for it all. Tony refuses to watch such bullshit and as such, the only people who are as enthusiastic like Steve about watching this kind of programming are Natasha, Sam, and Pepper.

Cries the hardest when they see Studio Ghibli movies, especially Grave Of The Fireflies

Tony. Further proof that he does indeed have a heart.

Always wins at Cards Against Humanity during group game night

Tony. Because Steve always seems to draw the lamest answers from the white card pile.

Makes the worst faces when they take wacky selfies

Steve. It baffles Tony how the big blond dork can still look fuckable even when making the most ridiculous facial expressions for selfies.

Haggles for the lowest price and wins the best bargains when they shop at flea markets

Steve. Old habits die hard when you’ve grown up during the Depression Era and fought a World War. It helps that market sellers are also charmed by the very presence of Captain America that they’d gladly offer their wares for free, but Steve insists on paying them like a decent customer.

Can successfully eat something so putrid like hakarl (dead fermented shark) and not throw up their guts afterwards

Steve. He’s eternally thankful for the super serum in his body that gives him superhuman metabolism because otherwise he would probably end up in the hospital for food poisoning.

Makes the best party playlists during group house parties

Tony. His Starkpod is chock-full of the best crowd-pleasing floor-fillers.

Is likely to be apprehended by The Beygency because they don’t like Beyonce that much

Steve. While he certainly appreciates the Queen Bey, he’s more a fan of Adele as she reminds him of the kind of pop music he liked before he was frozen under the ice.

Gets the most notes whenever they post something like shirtless selfies or very NSFW photos of themselves on Tumblr

Steve, though Tony refuses to wave the white flag as he’s determined to make Tumblr love him just as much as Steve.

Can successfully tie a cherry stem with their tongue which proves they are the best kisser

Tony. Simply because of the fact that he’s had plenty of practice every time he orders alcoholic drinks garnished with cherries.

Is likely to create an actual Fight Club a la Tyler Durden

Tony. But unlike the real Fight Club, he talks about his version of Fight Club because he’s Tony fucking Stark.

Always wins the most awards show predictions and makes mad bank from the losers in the group

Steve. Due to his extensive and ongoing movie and pop culture education, most of his predictions always comes true every time awards shows like the Grammys or the Oscars comes up. He uses his winnings to donate them to charities and non-profit organizations he supports.

Insists on having a couples’ orgy session with the World’s Finest, Clark Kent and Bruce Wayne a.k.a. Superman and Batman

Tony. Because he has a need to fulfill his fantasy of seeing Superman and Captain America flip-fucking each other. And as usual, Tony would only be comparing current net worths with Bruce apart from their dick sizes.

Sees what colors on The Dress when it pops up on their Tumblr dash

Steve sees white and gold. Tony sees blue and black. Their argument ended with a destroyed living room in the tower and incredibly intense hate sex for three hours in their bedroom.

Ay yo you still doing that ship thing? Cuz Thundershield? And/or Capsicoul? Thank you! =D

Yes, I am! I’ll do Thundershield for you since I prefer that pairing ;) Anyway…

+++

Does grand romantic gestures

Thor has brought Steve to Asgard several times and taken him on private tours in the majestic city and around the beautiful countryside. But back on Midgard, it is Steve who is enthusiastic on taking Thor all over the United States and showing him the best sights and things to do.

Throws shade the best

Steve. He is not the hot dumb throwback blond guy that Tony sometimes teases him.

Secretly loves to read fan fiction and look at fan art about themselves

Thor. Although it isn’t so much a secret but more along the lines of boasting about it by brandishing his Starkpad open to so many pages of NSFW content between him and Steve to the rest of his mortified and amused teammates. It doesn’t help that Natasha is such a shameless enabler of Thor’s interest in fan fiction and art of him and Steve.

Is likely to be sucked in a Wikipedia black hole for hours

Thor. Whenever he’s not doing the nasty with Steve, he happily spends his time reading up on any and all Midgardian topics on Wikipedia and often talks about the new information he has discovered to his teammates.

Hates to eat vegetables

Thor. Carnivorous by default, Steve is perhaps the only other person aside from Frigga who is able to persuade Thor to eat his vegetables. Of course, Thor can never refuse Steve whenever he talks in his Captain America voice.

Is the most active on social media

Steve. Because he’s the most up-to-speed on Midgardian tech, he’s sort of Thor’s guide on how to use apps like Twitter or Instagram. Steve’s social media accounts are full of pictures of him and Thor in various states of heavily muscled undress that never fails to gain a lot of shares, likes, comments, retweets, reblogs, and whatnot.

Rides shotgun during group road trips

Thor. And he is not above playing the “I am a Prince of Asgard” card whenever someone else in the team challenges him to the front seat, unless of course if it’s Steve.

Belongs in which Hogwarts house

Pottermore has officially sorted Captain America and the God of Thunder in Gryffindor, because where else would you sort two hot and courageous blond superheroes? When the Harry Potter fandom discovers this information, the Avengers Tower is besieged with so many Gryffindor-themed paraphernalia. Thor happily poses for a photo wrapped in an oversized red-and-gold knit scarf and a replica of Luna Lovegood’s lion headdress while wielding Mjolnir and Steve uploads it to his Twitter thanking all the Gryffindors for their support.

Belongs in which District of Panem

Having been exposed to the books and movies under recommendation by Natasha, Thor declares without shame that he would come from the Capitol but does not approve of their barbaric oppression against the other Districts. Steve smiles and says he doesn’t mind Thor being from the Capitol and thinks he’d fit really well in District 7.

Insists on sleeping with the nightlight on

Steve. Thor doesn’t mind because sometimes he can conjure bright and tiny sparks of electricity from Mjolnir to help Steve sleep through the night.

Gets the most phone numbers when they go out to a bar/club

Both of them always end up in a draw because they get plenty of equal attention—I mean, come on, they’re both two hot blond guys together—whenever they go out for a night out in the city.

Is likely to film a really hot sex tape of them fucking and upload it on Pornhub

Steve. Tony’s always been ragging on him about he’s so uptight and what better way to prove Iron Man wrong than by making a sex tape with his ridiculously jacked and well-endowed Asgardian boyfriend and then uploading it to a top porn site? Needless to say, Tony has never teased Steve ever again after Steve and Thor’s sex video went hella viral and basically broke the internet several times over.

Can quote the most lines of dialogue verbatim while watching Mean Girls

Steve. Because Thor still has a LONG way to go before he can accurately quote from Mean Girls.

Loves to binge-watch trashy reality TV shows

Thor. He has a particular fondness for dating shows like The Bachelor and gets a kick out of watching the reality show lineup of Bravo.

Cries the hardest when they see Studio Ghibli movies, especially Grave Of The Fireflies

Thor. He just loses it when he finds out Setsuko dies and then Seita passes away not long after her younger sister. He ends up crying in Steve’s arms for a good three hours before he regains his composure.

Always wins at Cards Against Humanity during group game night

Steve. It amazes Tony how someone so clean-cut like Captain America can come up with the craziest and fucked-up answers from his selection of white cards.

Makes the worst faces when they take wacky selfies

Thor. The ones where he puts his long and glorious blond hair in a massive man bun while contorting his bearded face into funny expressions is Steve’s favorites, even more than the NSFW nudes of his boyfriend.

Haggles for the lowest price and wins the best bargains when they shop at flea markets

Steve. Because he gets a kick out of seeing Thor light up with joy when he finds something he likes and he realizes he can get it for a really small sum.

Can successfully eat something so putrid like hakarl (dead fermented shark) and not throw up their guts afterwards

Thor. Because he’s a Norse god and he never backs down from challenging Midgardian foods.

Makes the best party playlists during group house parties

Thor. He has discovered the incredible powers of industrial-strength EDM and parties at the Avengers Tower has forever changed. Footage that Clint took of Natasha, Pepper, and Maria dancing like crazy to “Sweet Nothing” by Calvin Harris has gone viral and Thor accepts it when Natasha drop-kicks him during their sparring session a few days later.

Is likely to be apprehended by The Beygency because they don’t like Beyonce that much

Steve. Although it is already given that The Beygency will give Steve a permanent free pass because obvs, he’s Captain fucking America and if he thinks the Queen Bey isn’t all that hot, then the world just simply has to fucking deal.

Gets the most notes whenever they post something like shirtless selfies or very NSFW photos of themselves on Tumblr

Both of them, seeing as Thor and Steve manage their joint account. They even gamely answer questions from their ask box when they can.

Can successfully tie a cherry stem with their tongue which proves they are the best kisser

Steve. Thor is duly impressed and is rewarded with the best rim job of his life.

Is likely to create an actual Fight Club a la Tyler Durden

Thor. Because he loves any excuse to fight, especially if it’s shirtless.

Always wins the most awards show predictions and makes mad bank from the losers in the group

To everyone’s astonishment, it’s Thor. Apparently, Thor has dabbled in gambling back in Asgard and has always been lucky. He uses the winnings to buy everyone really nice presents.

Insists on having a couples’ orgy session with the World’s Finest, Clark Kent and Bruce Wayne a.k.a. Superman and Batman

Steve. He has admitted to Thor on having a huge crush on Superman and Thor goes out of his way to woo and convince the World’s Finest to join their bed. Suffice to say, a hot pair of blonds and brunets all tangled up together in bed never looked so good.

Sees what colors on The Dress when it pops up on their Tumblr dash

Thor sees white and gold. Steve sees blue and black. It becomes apparent that debating the colors of a dress is enough of a trigger to activate Thor in his Berserker mode. Were it not for the intervention of Bruce in his Hulk form, shit would have gone way too real for everyone to deal with.