Stephanie Brown And Her Adventurous Adventures Of Sass

Stephanie Brown and her Adventurous Adventures of Sass

It had first started as a complete accident. Stephanie was only trying to say bat-attitude.

With a messed up nose. And a concussion.

What had came out was ‘battitude’.

Her concussed mind had latched onto it, and the more she debated over it, the more she liked it.

Bat attitude was just so hard to say, and it just didn’t roll off the tongue smoothly like battitude did.

It wasn’t just a normal attitude, it was a battitude.

Steph liked it.

The first time Steph purposely used it on someone it had stunned Tim into complete silence.

It had started again with usual ‘no Steph you’re going to get yourself hurt’ 'Steph I have to protect you’ blah blah blah.

“I’m sorry I can’t hear you over your battitude.” She snapped before storming out, silence following her.

Superboy had laughed for hours when she told him and Bart.

The next time she used it, she almost thought that they’d forget to breathe because they were laughing too hard.

When she heard, or rather sensed, Nightwing coming up behind her, she mentally sighed in relief. Because Nightwing happened to be the number on supporter of her and Tim’s relationship, and was always ready to do just about whatever to get his favorite couple back together.

Which meant he usually gave great advice towards Steph, sabotaged Tim’s uniform when she pulled the distress card well enough, and was just the absolute best.

That time Tim’s costume shrunk in the wash wasn’t a complete accident…

“So what was it this time?” Dick asked as he settled down beside her on the edge of the roof.

“Just Tim being his stupid self with his dumb battitude.” It had taken all but three seconds for Dick to start laughing beside her.

“Gotta remember that one.” He said, almost snorting. “Battitude.”

She could hear Barbara in her ear too, letting out a chuckle.

Next time she used it, she managed to shut the brat up for a good ten seconds.

They had been in the batcave, Steph on the computer and Damian sparring, when he brought up her chest size again.

“You have a little something there.” She replies, gesturing at his face, chest, feet, and everything in between. “It’s called your battitude.”

By now, battitude was slowly spreading.

When she used it again, Cass couldn’t breathe and Jason had encouraged her.

It was one of those few and rare days where Gotham was quiet, peaceful and tranquil. Only the minor criminals were out, committing small acts of vandalism.

She had been regaling Cass and Jason with her stories of slapping members of the batfamily, when she let battitude slip out.

Cass choked and Jason sniggered.

“Make sure to use it on the boss man alright?” He tossed out on his way out to take care of an amateur robber.

Finally, finally, she used it on the big man himself, the one and only Batman.

It had been the usual “You can’t listen to orders Steph, pay attention Steph, stop being so reckless Steph’ type thing when she finally snapped. She drew herself up to her full height, blue eyes narrowed dangerously at Bruce.

Alfred casually called down all batfamily members.

“You know what?” She snarled, jabbing her finger into Batman’s armored chest. She hid her wince.

Jason held his breath in anticipation and Tim stared worriedly at her.

“I’m growing sick of you, and your battitude.”

Tim raised his eyebrows, and Dick started snickering. Jason wolf-whistled, causing Tim to glare at him. Damian stared unimpressed, and Barbara suppressed a smile. Cass stared at the scene and Alfred calmly continued sweeping, eyes dancing with mirth.

Batman was stunned into submission that night.

Boy Wonder, Boy Blunder

So here’s a little fic for Tim’s birthday! 

It’s a bit rushed and I apologize for that.

When Tim got out of bed that morning, there had been a little buzz in his head that something special about today. He brushed it off and headed for the bathroom. Throughout the day, that uneasy feeling stayed with him even as he tried getting some headway onto all the stupid papers he had to look through for Wayne Industries. Briefly he wondered why he brought that kind of torture down on himself. 

 Not to mention there was a suspicious lack of Batfamily civilian activity. He hasn’t seen Bruce or Alfred all day, there were no overly cheery texts on his phone from Dick pestering him to remember to eat, no missing calls from Barbara, no tapping on the window from Cass, and Damian… Well Tim would rather not see Damian. 

 There was also nothing from two distinctive people in the Batfamily who don’t talk to him any day, much less then today. Jason, who never liked him and… Steph. He didn’t know if Steph even knew it was his birthday, but she most certainly knew he was alive, and was doing an amazing job at avoiding him. Somehow, she had wiggled out of all partnerships that Batman set up, training pairings with him that Barbara and Dick set up, and false emergencies that Cass set up to get them talking. 

 But he pushed all of that out of his mind as he headed to the place where he stored his Red Robin ensemble. Tim couldn’t risk being distracted while patrolling, that was dangerous. It was still early, sun wasn’t even down but Tim decided to get an early start, being bored out of his mind. 

 Five minutes in, Barbara radioed in telling Tim to get his butt over to the Batcave now. He had argued, but after a couple of not so subtle threats from Dick, several mentions of black mail materiel by Barbara, and teasing mentions that Steph would be there from Cass. In the end, he caved, and found himself staring at a surprise party with his family. Everyone was there, even Jason, although he looked a bit disgruntled. Damian even offered a tense Happy Birthday. That alone was enough to make his day.

 But a definite highlight of that birthday was Stephanie popping a birthday hat onto his head and pointed to the mistletoe above him that most certainly wasn’t there before, (he blamed Cass, she’s been trying to get them together again for a while now) lightly pecking his lips. His face turned to an unflattering shade of red and she laughed as she pulled away, and whispered into his ear.

 "Happy Birthday Boy Wonder.“

Bruce: I've prepped some questions in case the reporters ask you tonight at the gala.

Stephanie: Shoot, Mr. Boss-Man.

Bruce: ...Right. What is your name?

Stephanie: They call me Lil Skeeze.

Bruce: *rolls eyes* What is your relation to the Wayne family?

Stephanie: Sometimes I eat their leftover fries.

Bruce: *sighs heavily* Have you any interests in the family's company?

Stephanie: Lots, mostly related to gossip.

Bruce: *begins to get up and leave*

Stephanie: *grabs his sleeve* Stop, don't. Keep asking, I'll do it right!

Bruce: *sternly* I expect you to take this seriously, Stephanie.

Stephanie: I will! Okay, I'm done. Ask me more questions, I'll be serious.

Bruce: *gazes at her*

Stephanie: *very serious*

Bruce: Very well. What is, in your opinion, America's greatest artistic achievement? Now, take your time to think abou--

Stephanie: High School Musical. Without a doubt.

Bruce:

Bruce:

Bruce:

Bruce: Just...just try to avoid the reporters.

TimSteph babysitting fluff? :3 Dick leaves little Mar'i with Tim "just for five minutes!" (he's gone for over an hour) Tim doesn't know what to do, Steph shows up and they babysit together

Tim had no idea what was going on. All he knew was that he was going to die.

Here’s how it starts: 

“Timmy, can you watch over Mar'i for me? Just for five minutes? Thanks!“ 

And then Dick is off and Tim has a wiggling toddler in his hands for five minutes (and hour.) 

Did Tim act like a good babysitter and play with the baby? 

Absolutely not. 

Tim did the first thing that came to his mind. 

He called Steph on the line reserved for emergencies only.

What? This counted as an emergency. 

"What happened?” Steph’s urgent voice answered, “Is it the Joker? I’ll suit up and meet you at the manor.” And then Steph was off and Tim didn’t even have time to tell her not to suit up.

“Never fear!” Steph shouts from the doorway and Tim feels the weight of the world lifting off his shoulders, “Stephanie is here!” She runs in and Tim turns around to pull her in for a kiss. 

Steph will make everything better. “So…” Steph says, looking around. He’s surprised that she doesn’t mention the baby. “What’s the emergency?" 

She arches up her eyebrow, and Tim feels his former panic slowly return. 

"Dick left me with Mar'i and I don’t know how to take care of children because I never got the experience and I’m not trained for this and Batman’s survival 101 never covered this-”

“Wait,” Steph said, cutting off Tim’s rambling, “Mar'i? Where?" 

Tim turns. 

"Right- oh crap.” Mar'i definitely was not at the spot she should’ve been. 

He turns mourning eyes onto Steph. 

“When I die everything is yours. There’s a map in my room with all the safe houses, and I got a stash of coffee under the loose floorboard-" 

"Aha! So that’s where you hid it,” Steph cheers triumphantly. “Jason owes me ten bucks, I knew you had a secret stash somewhere." 

"Steph!” What was supposed to sound reprimanding came out more as begging. 

“Alright Boyfriend Wonder, let’s go look for a flying baby." 

She makes it sound so easy. 

"I still can’t believe you called me on the emergency line just for me to babysit.” Steph says later as they’re cuddling on the couch watching cartoons with Mar'i.

Mar'i, as it turns out, went to “Unca’ Jay’s room” to play. Tim still feels the effects of the heart attack he nearly got when they walked in to see her holding one of his guns. 

Steph had been a complete natural, coaxing Mar'i out with ice cream and tv, immediately becoming Mar'i’s “fav'o'ite” auntie. (Tim did not wonder what Steph would look like with one of their own kids.) 

“Hey! I’m back!” Mar'i, upon hearing her dad’s voice, shot up, grabbed Steph and booked it down the hallway.

“Did she give you much trouble?” Dick asked, tickling Mar'i. 

Tim exchanged a look with Stephanie. 

“We handled it.”

The Winter (Eggplant) Soldier

This fic was inspired by  @moonquakelake and this post.

She was good. 

 No, Tim corrects himself, she was really good. Like, insanely good. Like, supernaturally goo-

Self preservation skills kicked in, and he quickly ducked to avoid having his head taken off. 

 And nearly got stabbed by the other knife. 

 But this girl, she looked really familiar. If only the mask covering the lower half of her face was gone. 

He stops thinking about that when her hand wrapped around his neck, and then sent him flying back. 

 That mechanical arm of hers is really unfair, he thinks as he flings her to the ground, lunging for his discarded bo staff. Tim felt the smooth surface of his trusty weapon. Success. 

In quick succession he blocks most of the attacks dished out. Moving quickly, he flips her, sending her flying. Her mask hits the ground, and she twists in midair and- 

 That roll! 

His eyes widened. He knew who rolled like that. But it couldn’t be her, she was dea- 

The woman got up, and he straightened, feeling like all the wind has just been knocked out of him.

 He knew that face. He knew those eyes, he knew those lips, he knew that little scar on her chin. He knew that hair, and he knew that person. He knew Stephanie Brown, killed two years ago by Black Mask. And he knew this was her. 

“Steph?” The name slips out of his mouth, breathless. How could she be alive? How could he not recognize her eyes?

His thoughts stutter to a halt as she turns towards him. 

“Who the hell is Steph?“ 

And he could only stare numbly at the spot she had occupied as the smoke cleared, stare as it revealed she was gone. 

Gone.

headed straight for the castle (they want to make me their queen)

Not sure how much I like the ending. Steph might be a bit OOC. I don’t feel like it’s enough Timsteph but oh well. Might write a sequel to this.

Stephanie Brown had no idea how (why) she was Chosen.

It was time for the annual Gathering, as the third Prince of Gotham reached the age to be married. Already, his older brothers have found their chosen loved one, Prince Richard with the clever Barbara Gordon of the Second Class, and Prince Jason with the shy Cassandra Cain of the Third Class.

The Gathering was a tradition for the royal family to search out and find a worthy bride from a pool of females offered up to him. The current King Bruce Wayne had found his match, the wily Selina Kyle of the Fourth Class using the Gathering, as had the king before him.

Now, it was Prince Timothy’s turn, and all the kingdom’s fair ladies in his age range have been called in to fill out a survey as well as take a picture at the local shop set up near them for the Prince and his family to judge whether or not they will be taken to the castle and participate in the activities and festivities.

There will be fifty chosen out of hundreds, although in the end, only one will remain.

Stephanie had been one of the girls who went for the survey and picture, albeit not with much hope. What prince would want a dirt poor low ranking citizen such as herself among the high and mighty not to mention beautiful girls of the upper class?

So, it was to her shock that she had been chosen, and soon she was whooshed off into the Promised Land, the castle where she had met the ever so charming Princes, and then Prince Timothy himself.

It was a rough few months, as girls battled it out for the Third Prince’s heart, and she stayed out of it all. Tam Fox of the First Class could have him. For she knew, herself, Stephanie Brown of Fifth Class has no chance of winning his affection.

Instead, she spent her time immersing herself in the castle library, reading up about medical treatment. There weren’t libraries like this back home, and she chose to make the most of her time learning all she could about her desired occupation.

It was unheard of a Fifth Class becoming a healer, but Stephanie was determined to become the first. Her child would not live as she had, in rags and an addicted mother. Her child will not live in poverty with out her father to support it, with out having to go out on the streets and find any job she could to support herself and her drug induced mother.

And so she studied and took notes, all the while wondering why she was still there, until one day the Prince approached her, with his own set of books, and silently read with her.

That’s how Stephanie Brown met, and bonded with the Third Prince.

She sat at her chair reading, and watched curiously as weeks past and more and more girls were dropped, yet she stayed, until it was just her, Tam Fox, and Cassandra Sandsmark, also of First Class. Cassandra was the younger sister of one of the King’s closest friends. Tam Fox was the daughter of one of the King’s trusted advisers.

Out of the three, she was the only one whom didn’t have a connection to the royal class.

Tam Fox was favored by the public, Cassandra Sandsmark by the King’s friends, and Stephanie by the royal family themselves.

Steph hit it off with Cassandra Cain, adored learning from Barbara, and spent much time debating with Queen Selina, who had been from a lower class such as herself.

Richard and her got along splendidly, both cheerful in nature. Steph bonded quickly with Jason, the most empathetic on the lower class’ struggles. Even Damian, the youngest, most arrogant, and grouchiest of the King’s children seemed to tolerate her.

She continued to have her “dates” with Tim, although they had slowly but definitely started bonding and branching out to the more personal topics, and then Stephanie fell in love.

She adored having conversations about medicines and famous healers with him, she loved his shy and dorky nature, and she enjoyed how thoughtful and attentive he was. He gave her the perfect gifts, not the expensive ones, and always knew how to cheer her up, cheer her on.

But the deadline was growing closer, and Steph knew her time was short. With everyone growing antsy, the Prince will have to make his decision soon. And she held no doubt in her mind that it will not be her. Tam was the best choice, regal already, and clearly can handle all the duties of a princess fittingly.

Cassandra was too rash, too impulsive, too pigheaded, too free spirited to ever sit down and be dulled by how a princess needs to be “quiet and listen to the prince”. The only reason she even made it this far was because the Prince liked her attitude.

Steph, well Steph didn’t really know much on how to act royally, how to be regal. And the prince doesn’t seem to really like her more than a friend.

So she guessed she would be seeing her mother again.

“Tim? What are you doing here?” Tim in her room. Tim standing in front of her. In the dark. Close to night. Alone. Two of them. Her room.

He locked the doors.