Shout Out To The Time Blue Decided To Sleep In The Front While I Dealt With The Kids At Work.

Shout out to the time Blue decided to sleep in the front while I dealt with the kids at work.

-🩶👻

“You’re kidding,” I mumbled as I looked up at the two officers in front of me. “Why would you guys choose me? I mean, I’m a sad pathetic guy that no one would-”

“Oh.”

I guess it all made sense. No one was exactly trustworthy of this new peace treaty. If the alien empire did in fact end up killing the prince of the humans to destroy moral or something, then it would be best to send in a nobody that lives completely alone in his apartment. I was that nobody.

But I actually didn’t complain much. It’s better than remaining in that run down apartment. You know, I could die and no one would notice until a neighbor began complaining about the smell from my place. So, possibly being killed by an alien princess would exactly be too bad.

The problem was convincing them. I wasn’t exactly the “royal” type. The governments all came together and decided to choose some random schmuck to get this stupid war possibly over with.

Things moved by quickly as they got me ready. Pretty soon, everything I had was packed and I was on a ship to a neutral planet that had been selected for the ceremony. It was going to follow the empire’s customs. So… I’d have to be schooled on that.

It was… weird, honestly. To think a week ago I was just living my boring average life. Now I’m named the Prince of Humans and betrothed to an alien I’d never even seen before. No one had actually seen what the aliens in the empire looked like. Not out of armor anyway.

Before I knew it, we were there. I made my way through the square with the officers by my side. Everyone looked at me. Aliens from different species all watching us curiously. Earth was an outlier planet, apparently. Every other known planet had been in contact with one another before.

The Empire soldiers stepped forward, with them a dark slimy creature. To be honest, if this was my bride-to-be, it could be worse.

But then he cleared his throat, clearly seeing the nervousness on my face as I watched him. His skin was made of that black goo, and it moved around unnaturally as he simply stood there. Actually… I guess it technically would be natural for them.

“So,” he said, speaking through a universal translator, “you’re the prince?”

I had been handed one too. I nodded. “Um… yes…” Damn that was the least confident answer I could have given. One of the officers gave me a dirty look. “Yeah. Uh… my name is Simon.”

The creature nodded. “I’m the leader of this empire. You’ll be marrying my daughter,” he said as one blue eye looked me over. “Sadly.”

I nodded. “Um… when do I meet her?”

The Emperor smiled at me. “I’ll actually be relieving you if you guards. Don’t worry. We honor our peace treaties. No harm will befall you.”

I gulp down my fear and press myself forward. Something in his eye told me he could feel that fear deep within my soul. The officers didn’t actually bother following as soldiers began talking with them.

The Emperor led me to a hotel of sorts, where we were greeted by many… friendly people. They were extremely nice. They’d asked how my journey was, if I’d had a long day, needed to rest, or if I needed any refreshments. I was surprised by the hospitality, honestly.

The Emperor cleared his throat, and I looked over to see a caring smile on his face. “Please,” he said, “follow me.” It was… odd.

I continue to follow him until we reach a garden. There, standing on the balcony overlooking it all, stood the most beautiful creature I had ever seen. She had light brown hair with blue tips, radiant smooth skin, and fluffy blue bunny ears peaking out from the hairdo. It was done in a clipped up sort of style, making it appear shorter than it really was.

“Blue,” The Emperor said, “the Prince of Humans is finally here.”

She turned and smiled at me with eyes that were nearly black, rosy cheeks, and a warm and welcoming expression. She wore a blue gown that hugged the top of her figure before flowing down to the ground, forming a train behind her. She walked over and smiled at me.

“Hello,” she said softly. “I’m sorry that my English is a bit… I’ve only been learning for a few years now.”

She didn’t have a translator on…

“No,” I said with a shy smile on my face as I felt it heat up, “it’s actually pretty good.” I hold out my hand. “I’m Simon, by the way.”

Blue looked down at my hand before taking it and shaking it slowly. “You, handshake, right?”

I nod. “Yeah. Uh… what do you usually do when you meet people?”

Blue smiled, pulled their hand away, and then held out their other hand. “We shake hands too,” they laughed.

I laughed too, shaking their hand with my other.

The Emperor rolled his eye at us.

Gosh. It’s a shame I’m betrothed to the Emperor’s daughter. Blue is actually… very nice. I wouldn’t mind getting to know her more.

“So you’re the one I’m betrothed to,” she laughed.

What?

The Emperor nodded, giving a sly smile at my confusion must have been… extremely evident on my face. “Yes, I’m aware we don’t have much of a family resemblance. But Blue is my daughter.”

“Adopted,” she laughed again. It was a contagious laugh. “So, Simon, we should probably get to know each other better.”

I nodded. How the hell did I luck out this much?

The two of us spent a lot of time together, no guards around either of us. We spent most of our time in the gardens, which were very lovely. Blue showed me multiple different plants, and animals.

At the end of the evening, we both simply sat on a bench, watching the stars and talking.

“You’re a lot cuter than I expected you’d be,” she said, smiling.

“You too, actually,” I said back.

Blue nodded and looked up at the stars. “But, there is one thing I have to say.” She slid her hand over mine gently, the other reaching up towards my neck, and then the next thing I knew, I was pinned to the ground with a knife to my throat. “You’re not actually the Prince of Humans.”

I stared up at them in shock. It probably wasn’t hard to figure out, but it wasn’t exactly easy either. I thought I put up a good act.

“H-how are you so sure?” I ask sheepishly. The blade gets closer to my throat. Not enough to cut, but there is definitely a lot of pressure making it hard to breathe without cutting me.

“Earth has way too many governments to have just one prince,” she said. “You’re a very… divisive species. Our empire is diverse too, but at least we’re all United under one flag. Unlike your planet.”

She leaned down closer to me. When she had pinned me down, some of her hair had come undone and was falling close to my face.

“Listen,” I said, “I’m just a nobody they sent here because no one would miss me. No one trusted the treaty.”

Blue sighed, removing the knife from my throat and helping me back up. “Oh, we’re aware. We’re not stupid,” she huffed. “My father had already completed a full background check of you the moment you had left Earth to get here.”

I put a hand to my neck as I processed the fact that I could breathe normally again, as well as all she had just told me.

“That being said,” she laughed, “you’re still pretty cute. Marry me as planned and maybe we can take down your planet together? They were the ones who sent you to die, after all.”

God the whiplash from all the turns this conversation took was giving me a migraine. Processing it all took some time. But even before my thoughts were able to catch up with me, the words still fell out of my mouth.

“Absolutely.”

Blue smiled at me and grabbed my arm. “Great! Maybe we can start some preparations for the siege.”

As I followed them, the reality of everything finally set in. How they had already known I was a fake, how they were planning to kill me, how Blue suggested we marry anyway and destroy Earth, and my answer…

My answer was still the same. I would absolutely marry Blue, and I wouldn’t quite mind the Empire taking over Earth.

Honestly, as long as I was outside my dingy apartment and someone would actually notice if I died, I don’t care what the hell happens. And marrying Blue isn’t a half-bad idea either.

Due to rising tensions, humanity and the alien empire have decided to make peace with a political marriage between a prince and princess of the two species. The empire isn’t aware that mankind doesn’t have a singular prince, but the world will pretend, so you’re picked to marry god-knows-what.

Subject was found dead at 08:37 Saturday, December 18 in her apartment. Search history leading up to her death can be found here:

Dec 18 00:05 - I don’t have much time please help me they found me

Dec 17 23:47 - How to write your will

Dec 17 23:15 - Demon repelling rituals

Dec 17: 22:37 - Demon hunting items from around your house

Dec 17 22:35 - Demon hunting equipment

Dec 16 18:39 - Signs of demonic possession in children

Dec 16 18:38 - Vomiting blood, unnatural contorsion, bloodshot eyes, levitation

Dec 16 18:12 - Fever of 203°F possible?

Dec 15 18:01 - Home remedies for common cold

Dec 12 10:38 - Religious children programs

Dec 12 02:30 - How to help your misbehaving child

Dec 12 02:09 - Is it normal for your 11 year old to bite another child?

Dec 12 01:45 - Juvenile detention punishments

The victim’s child has not yet been located.

Write a horror story in the format of an Internet search history

Any other hosts feel this… immense need for control that makes it so you never leave the front? No matter how badly you know it’ll be ok and you know your headmates are trustworthy and absolutely capable.

Because I often have a very hard time letting go of front and allowing myself to let others take control. The last time I talked about doing that, I was screamed at not to by a (now realized to be emotionally abusive/manipulative) ex-friend. But I know it’ll be ok. But I can’t seem to let my headmates take control without me at least partially present/in co because there is just this overwhelming anxiety that something will happen the moment I let my guard down.

The second I allow my guard to slip, shit will hit the fan. That’s how I feel 24/7. My headmates keep telling me it’s ok and that they understand. They all say they understand and that they will be there to help quell that anxiety as best they can because they know I’m so tired of being in the front constantly.

But that fear is still so fucking present.

Do any other hosts (or alters who aren’t designated as hosts but stay in front a lot) feel this? And does that anxiety ever go away?

-🍓

fictive culture is like. im really attached to source. i can also barely find any source media that portrays me like how i am

Real conversation between me🐹 and Simon📖 for funsies because I’ve got permission to share how shit he is with romance like holy shit-

Me🐹: So you’re in love with Blue.

Simon📖: Yes

Me🐹: And they reciprocate those feelings

Simon📖: Yes

Me🐹: And yet… you’re refusing to ask them out??

Simon📖: Uh…. It’s… complicated….?

Me🐹: And yet-

Simon📖: Oh boy here we go…

Me🐹: When you had a crush on ME, despite me not reciprocating those feelings, -

Simon📖: … uh huh…

Me🐹: You continued to try and start a relationship with me to the point of basically begging on your knees

Simon📖: … that is correct…

Me🐹: When I, someone who sees you as more if a brother than a boyfriend, told you I wasn’t interested, you still tried and got a bit obsessive over me. To the point where, in your source memories, you had killed me due to those feelings festering.

Simon📖: I know where you’re going with this, but continue anyway

Me🐹: BUT WHEN YOU ARE IN LOVE WITH SOMEONE WHO IS ALSO IN LOVE WITH YOU, YOU JUST ROLL OVER AND ACCEPT DEFEAT EVEN THOUGH THAT ISN’T THE CASE?????

Simon📖: …

Me🐹: Holy fucking shit. Just ask them out already. Damn.