Dick Grayson: Dad, Im Hungry.

Dick Grayson: Dad, I’m hungry.

Bruce Wayne: Hi hungry, I’m Dad.

Dick, tearing up: Did you just make a dad joke?

Bruce,sobbing: Did you just call me dad?

Cassie: So, have you decided what you're dressing up as for Halloween yet?

Tim: [on his laptop] Of course. We had a whole day seminar about it last month.

The Titans:

Kon: Jesus. You Bats do everything at 150 percent.

Bart: A whole day? Why on earth would it take that long?

Tim: [looks up] Dressing up in Gotham is... tricky.

Cassie: ...yeah. We're gonna need a bit more than that.

Tim: [sits back]

Tim: 2014. Dick dresses up as Bruce Wayne. He completely disappears into the role because playing Bruce is "funny". He accidentally gets roped into a mid-level meeting at W.E. where he agrees to throw out the 2015 budget.

Cassie: Seriously?

Tim: 2017. Jason decides to piss off Bruce by dressing up as Superman. Since most Gotham citizens haven't really seen Superman, the headlines on November 1st are all about how Superman went on a killing spree and shot three gangleaders.

Kon: [frowning] I don't remember that.

Tim: We killed the story before it reached any further.

Kon: oh. Uh, good.

Tim: 2018. Damian dresses up as Ra's al Ghul. He gets kidnapped from school by the League of Assassins who thinks he's finally embraced his heritage. Before we manage to find him, he convinces them that he is -in fact -a de-aged Ra's. This works, somehow, because he argues that none of them has ever seen Ra's as a child.

Bart: Really?

Tim: There are definitely parts of Ra's organisation that would not have done well on 'Are You Smarter than a Fifth Grader?'.

Tim: 2012. Bruce dresses up as a figure skater. Mr Freeze attacks the gala he's at and we spend two weeks burying stories about Bruce Wayne -crime fighter on ice.

Gar: What?!

Tim: 2017. While the papers are taking photos of a blood-soaked Superman, Dick beats up Scarecrow while dressed as the scarecrow from the Wizard of Oz. Spoiler arrives to provide backup and accidentally punches the wrong scarecrow.

Bart: I-

Tim: 2016! Cass dresses up as Hillary Clinton. Her disguise is so good that the papers try to run a story about Hillary drop-kicking a Donald Trump supporter after Cass stopped a robbery where the guy wore a MAGA-hat.

Cassie: [snorts] Why didn't you let them run that one?

Tim: 2019! I dress up as Spoiler and find out that Spoiler has been hooking up with some guy on patrol and no I will NOT talk about the way in which I found out thank you.

Gar: Hold it, you can't just not tell-

Tim: 2013! Dick dresses up as Red Hood. Meanwhile, Jason dresses up as Nightwing. It was not coordinated. Both of their reputations take a massive hit for opposing reasons.

Tim: Also 2013! Damian dresses up as a cat and almost gets adopted by Catwoman.

Tim: 2019! Steph dresses as Batman and spends the night doing TikTok dances in public places. Bruce tried to deport her but you can't kill a legend and you can't deport a myth.

Tim: 2020! Bruce plans a seminar so we can all discuss and approve all costumes. Everyone is in favor. Duke is unanimously appointed as our judge since he has never caused any incidents. Bruce is unanimously disqualified from speaking at all because he has caused at least five international incidents. And seven national ones, not counting the time with the nun.

The Titans:

Kon: Did- did he dress up as nun, or...?

Tim: I don't want to say.

Alfred: Why are there small handprints on the wall!?

Bruce, whispering to Dick: Why are there small handprints on the wall?

9-years-old Dick, whispering back: Because my hands are small.

Bruce, smiling to Alfred: Because his hands are small.

[Later that day]

Alfred: *puts an empty frame around Dick's small and colorful handprints on the wall that says "small art" at the bottom of the frame* Now that's better.

I read this as "Harley and Bruce (Batman) meet up and go for a 'therapy-session' walk

Harley Quinn, after the Joker broke up with her: no one loves me.... I deserve death!

Harley Quinn, approximately 15 seconds later taking Bruce on a walk while roller skating: wow that was wild lmao, anyway, anyone wanna give me attention?

That's so fucking cool!!!! I love AC/DC!!

Random fun fact:

I just found out that fucking Angus Young from AC/DC not only lives in the same province as me but lives in the same city as my aunt and uncle. Not only that but his wife used to live in the same village as my preschool teacher.

Alfred: *sighs*

Dick: what happened Alfie?

Alfred: this man cut me in the grocery line and his cart was full and two of his cards got declined so he set me back half an hour so i couldn't make my afternoon tea

Jason: *loading his gun* the scum dies tonight

Damian: *sketch pad out* i need a description to find and mutilate your oppressor Pennyworth

Tim: already hacked the cameras we've got him

Dick: isn't it justice not vengeance???

Bruce: fuck it. Damian grab your sword tonight, no one hurts Alfred

Damian: we ride at midnight

Dick: okay what is happening! no Alfred is this what you want?

Alfred: *visibly upset* he had a trump sticker on his wallet

Damian: hisses

Dick: grab my escrima sticks let's go