You Cannot Escape The Dad

you cannot escape the Dad™

I have this headcanon where billy as a 17 year old still never told the justice league his age and batman still does not know so every time he cannot attend a meeting he would come with with some smilier excuse like  “ listen clark um I cannot stay for todays meeting my teenage son is going on a date and he wants me to drive him to the restaurant so yeah I gotten leave” 

just extra things 

(hal sitting next to them is like “yeahhh how does a 27 year old have a teenage son???? come up with a better lie or just say you dont want to come to the meeting” 

billy pulls out his phone with a picture of shazam in civilian clothing with 17 year old billy (lets say really REALLY good photoshop) and he says “look! he is actually my son! and I am super late already so clark can I leave???” 

superman looking at the picture and than at shazam “ wow you two look so much alike ” shazam smiles  and says “ yeah but anyways can I please leave clark??”) 

end 

but it would also backfire so like one day batman hears about Shazam’s “son” and he tells him to bring him over to Wayne Manor so that he can hang out with Tim and shazam panics and says “ ahh my son….. is a big joker fan and if I bring him to gotham I am afraid he might become a joker goon” making shazam cringe internally by just saying that but batman pauses for a minute looking at shazam and than nods “you are right I know so many teens who are joker goons because of these weird tiktok trends” 

Been thinkin bout you,,,, mr. 16-year-old Bruce Wayne

the concept of selina x talia is sooooo fucking funny if you think about damian's reaction to the whole thing.

i mean, selina was engaged to be married to his father, this woman almost became his STEPMOM. that's a pretty big deal lmao. but she broke up with him, so damian didn't have to worry about it after.

BUT

imagine you're damian and your mom starts seeing someone. and you're like ew im 13 i don't care about this shit. but it gets serious and your mom wants you to meet them and you're like whatever i still don't care. but then BUT THEN your moms all like "damian meet your new stepmommy" and it's the FUCKING CATWOMAN AGAIN. and she is now dating your MOM. and you're just like *flips the table* ARE YOU KIDDING ME MOTHER?????

I just want to see jewish Bruce punch a Holocaust denier

Batfam + Co as conversation my friends and I have pt.4

Jason, walking past Damian's room: goodnight snotty

Damian: goodnight thotty