Senseless Reality

Senseless Reality

It was early on a Thursday morning when she received the dreadful news that her husband was dead.

She had been wondering why he didn't return home last night, even waiting by the phone, eventually calling him but never receiving an answer.

She had just walked her children, Lisette and Alonso, down their lengthy driveway to the school bus awaiting, softly waving goodbye as it noisily drove away, finally letting her smile and hand fall as the bus went out of view.

Turning back to walk home she realized the birds were being particularly quiet, abnormally so, it made the silence uncomfortable as she was trapped with her ceaseless thoughts; not even the breeze rattling the fallen leaves was as loud as usual. She smoothed her black braided hair to the side before tugging uneasily on the sleeves of her blue-grey sweater, tightly wrapping her arms around her body as she began the walk back home, listening closely to the crunch under her shoes, her mind still wandering in confusion as to where her husband, Ryker, was.

A few steps away from her porch she slowed her walking as she heard the sound of a car, her steps faltering slightly as she turned around, revealing the stand-out black and white pattern of a Belmont, Ohio police car driving towards her. The glare against the windshield from the grey sky made it impossible to see who was driving, leaving her unsure whether to feel overjoyed or distraught at it's surprise appearance.

The closer it drove the quicker her heart beat, taking in shallower breaths as she watched the car pull to a stop a few feet away. Her hands subconsciously wringing each other as she waited for the car door to swing open, suddenly feeling uncomfortably hot even though it was fairly chilly. She knew the dangers her husband was in due to his line of work, and knew that he could be injured or killed on any call-out; but nothing would prepare her for the despondent look on the officers face as he stepped out of the car.

Ryker was on call with his partner for a breaking and entering in a residential zone, the criminal had gone out the back and rounded the house to come up behind them as they went to enter through the busted doorway, shooting both several times in the back before running. The police were currently searching for him, but only have two witnesses, one who glimpsed him as he began to bust open their door, and a neighbor who saw what was happening and called the cops.

As the officer explained what happened her mind went blank, the already dampened noise of the forest completely disappearing and that uncomfortable heat suddenly vanishing, leaving her body instead feeling empty. She quickly found herself forced back into reality when the officer had reached out to touch her shoulder, it wasn't rude or unwelcome since this officer was real good friends with herself and Ryker, but the sudden and unexpected contact shocked her enough to jerk her shoulder away and take a step back. He immediately withdrew his arm, his gaze cast down towards the floor, whilst she dawned a regretful look as she realized her actions.

She finally said, "I'm sorry Carter, I-I just feel slightly overwhelmed at the moment." Her voice timidly quiet, a slight stutter as she tries to understand and control all the emotions suddenly running through her. A look of understanding washes over his face before nodding his head solemnly and turning back to his car, "Goodbye Saden." Carter spoke, offering a brief, sad smile before stepping into his car and driving off.

There were many thoughts rushing through Saden's head, all of the news not hitting her fully yet. With her mind racing she slowly made her way into her cabin home, locking the door before resting her forehead harshly against the stained wood, giving herself one moment of peace before pushing off and heading to the phone to make a couple of calls.

-------

The house is dark, giving off an unsettling and discomfited aura; the sun not having risen yet and no lights nearby, yet here is a boy with his school uniform and backpack on quietly closing the front door. He starts walking away from his house quickly, the anxious atmosphere surrounding him slowly dissipating the further he got, his tensed shoulders and on-edge look lessening to simply slight paranoia.

He has a scar above his eye, its somewhat red color making it obvious against his pale skin. He got this scar the same time he lost his mother and half-sister, the car crash was brutal, only him and one of the other cars passengers having survived.

He shades his eyes away from the blinding headlights that pass by every so often as he walks down the pavement, his paranoia disappearing the closer he nears Bingham's Pond. He finds a spot away from the road, setting his bag down as he observes the slumbering swans and ducks. A small smile graces his features as he remembers when he and his mother, Liz, would come here early in the morning to talk and watch the sunrise before school; his smile disappearing as quickly as it had arrived as he realizes he can only come here alone now. He could always ask his step-father Alec to come with him, but he dreaded any response Alec gave, especially now that he was the only one to survive the car crash.

In an attempt to shake his thoughts away from the past he glances back to the swans, admiring their beauty against the dark water. The first few sun rays start to glow against the dim sky, a slight breeze causing him to shiver as he has no uniform jacket since that costs extra money. As he sits down and leans against a tree he winces at the pain flaring up in his back before shaking it off and pulling his bag towards him, unbuckling the freezing metal and reaching in, pulling out a folder containing unfinished homework; a lot of them had crumples and tears even though he kept them neatly in a folder.

Releasing a weary and exasperated sigh he began working, starting with his name, 'Archer Carlisle', his cold hands making it harder to write and a look of aggravation flashes through his eyes as he knows that he will not get all this homework done before school; dread filling him at the thought of having to tell Alec about the bad grade even though his unfinished and torn homework was Alec's fault. With another sigh he got back to work, attempting to finish as much of it as quickly and as accurately as possible.

-------

It's been a week since I was told about his death, I already knew that I couldn't stay in our comfy Ohio home, especially since Ryker built it; just walking through the door caused a nauseating feeling to wash over me knowing that I'll never see him again.

The funeral was yesterday afternoon... The black dress I wore is now a pile of grey ashes in the firepit. My daughter Lisette went with me, it was a windy day with a sprinkle of rain dusting the ground outside; it seems that the world was even mourning the loss, but that's probably just me putting meaning into simple things.

My son Alonso took the death of his father very hard, I know how close they were, and seeing my son crying made a tear break through my facade of strength, but I had to quickly wipe it away as I embraced my weeping son. His cries lasted for an hour, Lisette began to cry as well when she saw Al's shaking form being comforted by mine. That night I stayed with them in their room, sitting on the carpeted floor between their two beds, one hand grasped in each of mine as I told them stories to lull them to sleep. When I knew they were asleep, I continued to hold their hands, leaning my head back against the wooden wall as I stared up at the ceiling, the light from the moon creating shadows of tree branches against the opposite wall. I simply sat there, thinking about the calls I made the day I received the news; by next week, what's left of my family will be in our Scotland cottage, away from here, away from him.

I still need to tell the kids, I'm not sure how to tell them we're moving away, away from everything that reminds us of their father. I can only hope they will not despise me for this decision, but just staying in this home causes my mind to wander in a direction I will not allow myself to go in.

------

The bell rings loudly as I rush into the closing door of my classroom, glancing around the room I see everyone already seated and the teacher watching me pointedly. Lowering my gaze, I straighten out my homework and turn-in the messily finished pages to the basket before traipsing past my teacher's desk to reach my seat, avoiding his and everyone else's gaze at all times.

I know I shouldn't be frightened by my teachers, but Mr.Curraigh has the same stern voice as Alec, and I can't help but be anxious whenever I step foot into his class; his strict rules and intimidating stature don't exactly help me when trying to differentiate the two.

Mr.Curraigh glances up from his computer to me, I swallow nervously and shuffle slightly in my seat as I look down to the paper I delicately placed onto my desk. The class's quiet chatter had resumed a few moments ago, but was quickly halted again when Mr.Curraigh pushed his leaning figure off of his desk and leisurely strided to the front of the class.

"Mr.Carlisle, wish to explain to the class why you were late? Again." His nonchalant first sentence greatly contrasted his harsh enunciation of 'again'. Subconsciously I lower my head as the class is silent, other classes might giggle, but they know not to screw around in this class.

I shake my head 'no' not fully trusting my voice to answer without stuttering.

"I can't hear you Archer. Will you explain to the class why you were late." His sharp, accented voice rang out against the stillness and left no room to avoid his question. I know he is looking at me as he awaits his answer. I finally look up at him, answering quietly as my gaze constantly flickers between him and the ceiling.

"I overslept sir, I won't let it happen again." I tried to present a calm face to hopefully stop him from calling me out again, my mind inside is blaring with thoughts of whether he will accept the excuse or not. A second passes before he walks back to the whiteboard and begins writing, everyone quickly copying it down in their notebooks, the conversation seemingly forgotten. An inkling of worry continued to nag in the back of my head that he knew my excuse was a fake, but I had no time to give it any contemplation as I was already falling behind on the notes, and my recent wrist injury isn't exactly going to benefit me either.

Class has finally ended, most people were packed up and waiting by the door for the bell, only a few people were sitting at their desks. I tuck the assigned homework into their folder, placing my notebook in my bag as well. I reach for the folder when another hand grasps it first, a hand belonging to no student. I keek my eyes up before quickly looking down at the desk, it was Mr.Curraigh who was holding my homework folder, he was leaning against the desk as he skimmed through the now open folder.

"Y'know, your organization and care doesn't add up when you turn in ripped papers." He states as he slowly closes the folder, holding it out for me to take, which I quickly follow through with, silently placing it in my bag.

"You want to tell me the real reason you always seem to be running late?" Mr.Curraigh questions, his normally loud and stern voice now quieter and containing a hint of concern. It's been a few moments and I have yet to respond when he voices,

"Archer, if you have a real reason as to why you are late, I understand, but I can't accept these fake excuses anymore. This is the 10th time you've been late. If you can't give me a real reason then I have to give you detention." His voice was never very strict or harsh throughout the sentence, having more of a warning tone to it, but all I can muster as a response is to uneasily shake my head 'no' as I look up to meet his gaze. Mr.Curraigh simply looks forward for a second before releasing an exasperated sigh and pushing off of the desk.

"Don't be late for detention Mr.Carlisle." Is all he says before walking back to his desk, the bell ringing and the students rushing out of the door, myself following immediately as to not be late to my next lesson. My thoughts for the rest of the day are clouded with how Alec will react when I come home late, how he will react when I tell him I got detention again. The dread pools in my chest, making it feel tight, the air suffocating me as I trudge through the day.

------

First day in our new home, it was a cottage that my parents owned and I inherited. Far away from Ohio, far away from Ryker, all the way in Glasgow, Scotland, located in a nice area with lolling green fields and a stone wall neatly surrounding it.

Lisette and Alonso had taken the move better than I expected, it would seem they wanted to get away as much as I did. I had called ahead to make sure the cottage was ready for when we arrived, and a friend of my parents is coming over to watch my children since I have to go to my job as soon as possible.

Rushing out of the house, I briskly give the friend a hug, quickly stating the time I'll be home before racing over to my rented Volkswagen vehicle. My bags strap twisting as I attempt to situate everything in the car, I quickly shove it into the passenger seat before adjusting the mirrors and heading off to my new job.

The grey clouds littering the sky remind me a lot of home, but this busy city is exactly what I need to get away from my small town life. Driving on the left side is quite odd though, something that'll take some getting used to.

As I pull into the parking lot I notice that school is nearing the end of the day, I hope I won't get fired before I even start. Quickly stumbling through the office door, I straighten my posture and shirt before walking to the front desk and stating I am the new science teacher. The woman smiles before phoning someone, I assume the principal or maybe another teacher.

After waiting for around 2 minutes, the office door loudly clamors open, a tall man with thick light brown hair and an intimidating stature strides in, giving a small nod to the woman before approaching me. I stand up and shake his offered hand.

"Hello there, I am Mr.Curriagh or Aric, I am here to escort you to your class." His voice has a thick accent to it, something I will have to get used too now since I'm living in Scotland. His intimidating posture seems to contrast with the friendly smile he offers.

"Pleasure to meet you Aric, I'm Saden." I politely respond before allowing him to lead me out of the office and down the hallway.

"So, you're the new science teacher?" He voices in slight curiosity, continuing to navigate the empty halls.

"Yes, what do you teach?" I question, walking faster to keep up with his brisk pace.

"Oh me? I've always been a literature person." His charismatic response causes a small smile to appear, the fact that people here are so nice and welcoming is something I adore. We come to a halt after another moment of walking.

"Well, this is your class, though you arrived a bit late." He explains as we watch through the window as students packed their bags. I release a quiet sigh, of course I would miss the whole first day of my job.

"Don't worry about missing your class, you can pop in to help with detention or explore the grounds." Aric states as he flickers his eyes from the window to me, I'm about to respond when the bell rings loudly, echoing through the empty halls before the classroom doors swing open and students file out. We both stand near the window of my classroom until the halls quiet down again, only a few students standing around, whilst some are just now finishing packing up.

Aric turns to speak to me again when his gaze turns to something behind me, his sudden shout startling me, and I quickly turn around to see the culprit.

A young boy with dark brown hair immediately halts, his eyes going wide at being shouted at, his arm tightening its hold around his book clutched against his chest.

"Archer. Detention is in the other direction." Aric states as he walks up to the student. I would expect any student to be nervous at being called out by a teacher, but this student, Archer, appeared downright terrified.

Before Archer is able to respond, Aric begins to speak again. "This is the second time you've attempted to skip detention, Archer." Giving a slight break as he waits for a response, after receiving none he let out a groan of irritation before stating, "Come with me Archer." Beginning to walk back over to me, Archer trailing a few steps behind with his eyes trained on the floor.

"I'm sorry to cut your tour short, but I have to escort this student to detention." Aric states as he glances back to Archer.

"Quite alright Aric, mind if I come with? I did miss my first day after all." I question, glancing at Archer, his eyes not having moved from the floor the whole time. Aric briefly nods his head before leading the way to detention. I quickly follow, attempting to keep up, listening as Aric describes the parts of the school we pass through.

------

Who is this person? Is she the new teacher? She did say she missed her first day here, and our new teacher for science was unable to show up.

I lift my head up, my eyes looking at her for a moment as I contemplate whether I should ask my question or not. Finally giving in to curiosity, I ask, "Are you the new science teacher?" My question seems to startle them both out of their small talk, Mr.Curraigh now silent as we await her response.

She turns to me and offers a friendly smile before responding, "Yes that's me, you can call me Mrs.Monroe." Her response is nice but short, and her voice seemed to waver slightly when she said her last name, causing my head to tilt ever so slightly in confusion at her reluctance to speak her last name.

"It's nice to meet you Mrs.Monroe, my name is Archer." I respond, my voice seeming more confident and louder than my normal tone, though I barely give it any thought. For what time was left of the walk to detention, I spent it talking to Mrs.Monroe, I don't know why, but she seemed easier to talk with, it could've been from her non-intimidating stance and height, or possibly that she reminded me of my mother, both of which are plausible.

We were talking about the book I was holding, "Great Expectations", when Mr.Curraigh comes to a halt, the room that detention is held in being right in front of us. I reach out to grab the handle, momentarily forgetting about my wrist injury until I release a grunt of pain, immediately pulling my wrist back and holding it against my chest as the harsh gripping agony floods my system, reminding me of yesterday.

Both Mr.Curraigh and Mrs.Monroe seem shocked at my sudden outburst of pain, Mrs.Monroe is about to say something but I have no time to think, stumbling backwards I turn slightly and run off. I go to the only place I feel safe, Bingham's Pond, or Swan Pond as my mother used to say; just remembering that causes a wave of anguish to sweep through my body, all these things that keep happening are too overwhelming. First I lose my mother and sister in a car crash, then my step-father(who already disliked me) blames me for it, and now I have a teacher who reminds me exactly of my mother, I simply don't know how I should feel or respond to these situations anymore. I'm so caught up in these prolific thoughts and aching pain that I fail to hear the footsteps approaching me.

It was the sudden hand on my shoulder that caused me to gasp in surprise at the presence of another person. Quickly turning my head I expect to see an angry Mr.Curraigh or possibly Alec, but I am instead met by Mrs.Monroe's sad smile as she crouches next to me. Reaching out her hand for my wrist I flinch away, but after another second I allow her to see my wrist, ignoring the possible consequence that she might question how I sustained this injury.

It was the slight widening of her eyes that caused me to follow her gaze, I chose to never look at my injuries, so seeing my wrist all swollen and bruised causes my eyes to widen as well. She lightly touches my wrist and I immediately pull away, the pain scorching through my arm. She seems to sit there in a moment of thought, as though contemplating what she should say.

"Archer. How did this happen?" There it was, the one thing I didn't want to hear. I shake my head and look away, only now realizing that a few tears had streamed down my face, quickly wiping them with my free hand. I don't hear a response to my refusal so I glance back, seeing Mrs.Monroe holding back tears as well, though why, I do not know. Shaking her head, she pushes herself off of the floor, and reaches out a hand for me, which I slowly take. Now standing I dust myself off with my good hand, loosely holding my backpack as I await her questions.

All she does is, seemingly shake her head to herself, before motioning for me to follow her. She leads me back to school, never speaking or glancing to me, just staring forward, almost emptily. She takes me to the medical room and tells me to wait by the door as she walks away to converse with a nurse. I wonder what she is saying, does she suspect that my step-father caused these injuries? Or does she think another student did this to me? Should I just run while I still have the chance? My thoughts are abruptly halted as both Mrs.Monroe and the nurse walk over to me, my nervousness kicking in at another person now being present.

I attempted to not pay attention to the flare ups of pain as the nurse wrapped my wrist in an ice bag, the freezing cold making me shiver as the weather outside was already chilly. After a few minutes of icing my wrist she brings out a compression bandage, snuggly wrapping my wrist and hand, the pain has lessened, but maintains a steady ache that surrounds my whole arm. When she finishes she gives me instructions to do daily, and a note for class seeing as that was my writing hand.

Walking over to the door, I spot Mrs.Monroe waiting there, her friendly smile replaced by a serious and stern look, one that makes my steps a little more hesitant. We leave the med room and walk out into the quiet, desolate hallway, her face still serious as we both stop.

"How did you get that injury Archer." It wasn't a question, but something that demanded an answer, one I was extremely reluctant to give. Angling my face away from her I shake my head 'no' again, not wanting to tell her the truth, my mind blaring that it would cause more pain than good, that even if she did believe me no one else would.

"Archer, if you don't tell me, then I will have to tell the office to call your dad." She states, her voice losing some of it's sternness as she attempts to get me to answer.

Hearing her call Alec my dad causes all these feelings to just explode, my anger is flowing freely, and I can't help but react chaotically, "HE'S NOT MY DAD!" My shout echos down the hallway, the silence left in its wake is uncomfortable, all that anger-driven confidence quickly leaves my body as I exhale. She's not stupid, she's going to figure out what's going on, I'll be taken away from my home, the last place that reminds me of my mom and sister.

Her posture seems to stiffen after hearing my response, I can only hope she won't be angry with my outburst.

"I'm only going to ask you one more time. Who did this." Her voice was deathly quiet, the second sentence being harshly enunciated and leaving no room for excuses. I finally face her, though my head is still lowered, my eyes flickering up to her every so often as I contemplate what I am about to say.

"....Alec." My voice practically a whisper, though I know she heard it, and knowing that someone else is aware of this secret just causes me to feel... vulnerable.

Alfred Pennyworth: Alone

Imagine your dad(Bruce Wayne) is an absolute ass, and Alfred ends up becoming your emotional support after you go through a terrible event:

- Lil warning: sexual battery, battery, kidnapping, hints alluding to rape, Bruce is an asshole, depression, thoughts of self harm -

Being the daughter of Bruce Wayne carries a lot of weight, you are expected to be great at everything, get amazing grades, have good friends, be a good person, etc, but the truth is that you can't always be that person.

Sure, I get good grades most of the time, but they never seem to be enough for dad. My friends are great and supportive, they know all about my feelings, and they never use me because of my last name, but that doesn't mean my father approves of them. And last but not least, I am who I am, I can't be the socialite and extrovert my father wants me to be, I can't dress the way he wants me to, and I can't act the way he wants me to.

This isn't done out of rebellion, I really want to be the daughter my dad wants, I want him to be proud of me, but I just feel like a hollow shell whenever I try.

———————

Today I went to hangout with some people, I decided to try and be friends with people my father has openly approved of, but everything just feels so shallow.

They all dressed fancy, most of them wearing expensive brands. I even dressed like them in an attempt to fit in, but I felt like such a fake. Remembering my fathers look of approval when he saw me and when I told him about my plans makes me push away my discomfort, just wanting to get through the day.

We had gone out to eat after school, and now were just messing around in a park. It was getting late, and I really wanted to head home, but I don't even know where I am anymore.

I'm in a group of about 5 people, 3 of them being guys and the other 2 are girls. The guys and girls are dating, so just me and this other guy are basically third wheeling. The couples want to go to the movies, but I know they are just going to be making out, so I decline, stating I'll just wait in the park for their movie to end; the other guy also declines, stating he'll also wait.

The guy - I think his name is Chase - and I went and sat on a bench near the outskirts of the park. It was really getting dark now, and I desperately wanted to go home and curl up in my bed and forget about this day, but Chase simply will not stop talking. He's actually not that annoying, and he's not half bad to look at with his brown hair swept to the side, his green eyes looking at me intently.

I stand up and Chase stops talking, his expression almost looking irritated that I interrupted.

"I think I'll be heading home now." For a moment I glimpsed anger flashing through his eyes, but it was gone just as immediately, instead being replaced by an extravagant smile.

"Sure, I'll walk you to your bus stop." I almost feel like blushing, but he probably only offered because I'm a young girl alone in Gotham at night. I smile instead, and say 'thank you' before beginning my walk to the bus stop. It's not too far, only about a half mile walk, but as we pass an alley, Chase motions for me to follow him though it, stating it was a shortcut.

I don't feel comfortable, I don't like alleys in the first place, adding in the fact that it's night makes it even worse. I go to tell Chase no, but looking into the alley I realize I can't see him anymore. Fear surges within me, is he okay? Where did he go? I hesitantly step into the alley when I hear him urgently shouting my name.

I run to his voice, hoping to see that he's okay, but as I turn into a corner within the alley I'm quickly shoved into the rough brick wall. My head is aching in pain, as well as my back. I try to shove the person away, but they secure my hands with theirs, their chest grazing against mine. I don't know what's happening, I can't tell who this is because it's so dark.

I can feel the tears running down my cheeks as one of their hands gropingly wanders over my body.

"Oh, don't tell me you're crying." That mocking voice stabs me, betrayal radiating through my bones. That voice belongs to Chase, I feel like fighting and dying at the same time.

My free hand acts without thought, a loud smack ringing through the tense silence. He seems stunned, but he soon reacts in violence as well, punching my lower abdomen, my body hunching over. He gives me no time to suffer, as he pulls my body back up, holding my face up with one hand and delivering a forceful punch with the other.

I can't remember much after that other than falling to the ground, the last thing I saw was him walking towards me with a sickening grin.

———————

Pain radiates through my body, everything ached, but my pelvis and hips felt like they were  burning. My shoulder stings, and my face felt like I had been beat; my eyes aren't even open, yet I already want to go back to sleep.

It's only when the memories of last night resurface that I jump awake, my body feels like its being torn in half, but I ignore it, instead hastily surveying my surroundings. It's still dark, though how late, I do not know.

It takes me a few more moments to realize that my clothes are strewn across the floor, it's at this moment when the sickening feeling strongly radiating through both my body and mind finally makes sense. The intense need to vomit sweeping over me.

My eyes flood with tears as I hastily put my clothes on, it hurts to move but I really need to get home. I walk to the bus stop, paranoia running rampant within me, I find myself flinching at anything and everything.

I look at the clock in the bus and realize it's 11pm, I was supposed to be home by 8pm at the latest. I look at myself through my phone camera, attempting to fix my hair and clothes so that my father doesn't realize what happened to me; knowing him he would probably just be angry with me.

I shakily exit the bus, just walking hurts so much, but I put on a neutral expression, entering my home slowly. The lights are off, maybe he went to sleep early for once?

Those thoughts of hope are sharply stripped away when the cold light filters through the room.

"Where have you been, young lady?" I lower my head subconsciously, knowing I'm in trouble. I keep myself facing the door, I don't need him seeing my tear-streaked face, he'll probably just shout at me.

"I was just hanging out with my friends." I try to make it sound like I did nothing wrong, but I know it's just making him angrier.

"You were supposed to be home by 8pm, mind telling me what you were doing till 11 at night." His tone is becoming sharper and more demanding, this tone always leads to him yelling at me. That's honestly the last thing I need him to do, but what am I going to say, 'Hey dad, will you please not yell at me?' Yah, he'll probably scream if I say that.

I maintain my silence, hoping he'll just send me to my room.

"I asked you a question." I stay silent, praying that he'll just drop the conversation.

"LOOK AT ME!" His tone is deep with anger, his shout reverberating through the halls. He slammed his hand against the door, right near my head. I jump in surprise, but refuse to look at him out of both fear and self-preservation.

I can feel his glare deepen as he backs away from me, his sigh of frustration letting me know his shouting is done.

"Go to your room, you're grounded for two months." I don't argue, I don't fight, I simply nod my head and shuffle away, trying to hide my limp as I head to my room.

It's only after sitting on my bed for a few minutes that I finally let silent tears fall. Everything I do is wrong, and the one thing I do that makes him happy ended up being the worst decision of my life.

Maybe I should just stop trying.

———————

It's around 4 in the morning, I've been trying to go to sleep, but every time I close my eyes, I think of when he... when he... oh never mind. The memories are fresh and refusing to yield, so I've taken to pacing around my room, just walking back and forth and back and forth, sometimes accidentally running into my bookshelves.

Normally on a night like this I would be tucked away reading my favorite book, but everything I do right now just feels so out of place.

I'm so lost in my thoughts that I didn't even realize that Alfred had knocked on my door and opened it when I didn't respond. I only noticed when his hand lightly touched my shoulder, which caused a massive reaction.

I almost screamed, but it came out more as a fearful whimper; my entire body jumping away, my feet taking a few steps back to gain distance. My eyes are wide and distraught, scared of who would be in my room, but I calm slightly when I realize it's only Alfred.

He looks surprised, well, that's putting it lightly. He looked more shocked at my reaction, almost looking suspiciously at me.

"Please forgive my intrusion Y/N, I simply wanted to check on you. You've been pacing for a while." His voice furthers my ease, but I also feel guilt tightening my chest. I forgot Alfred's room is below mine, I must've been walking loudly, and I guarantee that me running into a bookcase isn't quiet.

"I-I'm sorry, I didn't mean to awaken you." Alfred's always been like an uncle to me, he's helped raise me, and he's always supported me in being myself.

"Do you mind telling me about that bruise?" His question startles me, I wasn't expecting that question, mainly because I wasn't aware I had a bruise. My eyes widen, and I quickly rush away into my bathroom, turning on the lights and gazing in horror at the purple splotch that was darkly forming over my left cheekbone.

I can't handle it anymore, I lean back against the wall, covering my eyes with my hands as I cry. I slowly slide down to the floor, bending my legs up and hiding my face against them as I sob.

Alfred walks over to my clearly distraught form, kneeling down and observing me for a few seconds. It didn't take him long to put it together, the bruised face, the red marks on my wrists, my tangled hair, the fact that I had thrown away my clothes from this night and replaced them with clothes that drowned my figure.

He sighs in silent anger, not at me, but at the disgusting person that did this to me.

He slowly pulls me into his side, and I welcome his fatherly response, crying against him as he whispers to me everything will be alright.

———

I don't know how long we stayed like that until I fell asleep, awakening the next morning in bed to see a note from Alfred saying to come to the kitchen for some pain killers and an ice pack, and that we would be having a chat over breakfast.

I'm scared, scared that I'll have to relive the memories of last night, but I'm also thankful. Thankful that someone like Alfred cares about me like how my real father should.

Alec Hardy: A Messed Up Situation

Imagine your step-father abuses you, and you finally break; leading to an investigation and interview/questioning with a detective(Alec Hardy):

- Lil warning: mention of parent death, eludes to drugging, alludes to rape, pedophilia, rape, molestation, minor reader/underage reader, abuse, battery, alludes to non-con -

"Help! Someone! Please!!"

My voice strains against the hand, I've never been attacked, let alone raped before, and I certainly didn't think I ever would be. The only thing making a bad situation worse, is that fact that this is my step-father.

_______

My father was killed in a car crash when I was 12, my mother was all I had left, but it seems I wasn't enough.

The month after his funeral, she returned home, hanging on the arm of a 30 something year old man, his smile seeming to grow even wider when he spots me.

His name is Steven, and he looked to be 5"11, with dirty blond hair that was brushed to the side and light stubble on his jaw. He seemed friendly enough, and he was always playing games with me whenever he was over.

He came over often after that night, practically living at our house, so I got to know him fairly well. He always wanted to be near me, sitting next to me, placing his hand on my shoulder.

Something I always found odd was how it seemed he would lightly flirt with me whenever my mother was gone. He would do it quickly, so quick you would miss it if you blinked; but I ignored it because he made my mother happy.

After a year of them dating, he officially moved in, right in time to celebrate my 13th birthday. That night was great, I invited all my friends over to the beach, we spent most of it in the ocean, but also had a lot of fun chasing each other and building sand castles. When I got home that night, he helped my mother to bed, and I quickly disappeared into my bathroom.

Though I had a great time, I had been making an effort to avoid Steven. His flirting was getting heavier and making me uncomfortable, he always stares at me, and always wanted to be touching me, whether it be him holding my hand or grasping my arm.

That was the night he first kissed me, he had cornered me after my shower, and his facial expression looked restrained, almost as though he was holding back a wild beast. He made me feel disgusted with myself, why was he doing this? He said I had been teasing him ever since I met him, but this just makes me even more confused, how did I tease him?

_______

The following year after that was normal, he would still hold my hand or hold me in a lingering hug, but he never kissed me again apart from kissing my forehead. He started to feel more like a father, or maybe that is what I made myself believe.

He married my mother the day I turned 14, it was sort of a special wedding-birthday mix thing. It was a lot of fun, my friends and their families were invited to the wedding, and my mother looked the happiest I'd ever seen her. Her white dress was beautiful, but she said I stole the show with my light lavender dress. That whole day and night, I felt eyes lingering on me, but I pushed the thought away, instead choosing to enjoy the wedding.

When we returned home from the wedding, my mother was acting strangely, her words were slurring and her movements droopy, this level of exhaustion seemed abnormal.

Steven put her to bed as I headed to my room to do the same. I was about to begin undressing when I heard the door to my room creak open, I quickly turned around, spotting Steven entering my room. He seemed so awake, but his calm demeanor made everything feel eerie.

"Here, let me help you." I didn't even have time to stop him, he had already grabbed the zipper for my dress, pulling it down my back slowly, almost as if savoring the moment. My body reacted in paranoia, I don't know why he's in my room, shouldn't he be with mom?

"Y'know... I've been waiting all day to take this dress off." At that moment, my paranoia seemed immensely justified. I immediately stepped away from him, but he moved quicker than me; yanking my dress down, the wispy material softly pooled around my ankles. I go to guard my body, but he's already shoving me down onto my bed, roughly holding his hand over my mouth, all the while whispering what he's going to do, and how much he loves me.

___

That night, he took everything from me, not only my innocence, but also my will to care.  It hurt so much, I was pleading for him to stop half the time, before falling silent and closing my eyes, praying that this was all a nightmare. I could feel the tears streaming out of my eyes as he hovered over me, his panting and movements forcefully reminding me of my horrifying reality.

The next morning I limped into school after rushing away from Steven and my mother. I spent the whole day in silence, never raising my hand, refusing to talk when called on.

This behavior continued for the next week, going to school barely half-alive, and then going home and laying in bed; Steven coming in any time possible to satiate his hunger. I don't know how my mother never noticed, but I pray she wasn't turning a blind eye to my fucked up situation.

I began making myself throw up, I don't know why, but it was something to help distract me. Some of the teachers pulled me to the side, asking me why I didn't play with the other kids anymore. I always shrugged my shoulders, refusing to speak.

After a month of Steven's continuous abuse, I finally did something that put all the teachers on edge.

___

It was an unnaturally hot day, and I made the mistake of taking my jacket off during recess.

My arms had a few bruises along them, but the most worrisome things they saw were the bruises around my wrists, they had distinct marks where Steven's fingertips had dug into them too harshly.

A small group of school teachers and others approached me. Mr.Rivers, a kind younger man who had the role of vice principal, made the mistake of lightly grasping my shoulder to get my attention. I shuddered away from his touch, cries of fear escaping my mouth as I fell backwards and to the floor. They all seemed shocked by my reaction, Mr.Rivers tries to comfort me, but I curl into myself, pulling my knees up and hiding my face against them.

I know he is distressed by my reaction, possibly feeling guilty, thinking he made me do this, but I hope he knows that he isn't the one making me cry.

The female teachers immediately move forward, some of them shooing the men away, and another carefully hugging me. I wrap my arms around her as she embraces me, holding and comforting me the way I wish my mother would.

___

I spend the next 30 minutes in an empty classroom, the same female teacher and a counselor sitting with me. They kept trying to get me to talk, but I gave only sparse answers. From the looks on their faces, they already have assumptions as to what happened to me.

My mind keeps replaying everything Steven has done to me, all the nightmares that plague me with each second of sleep I managed to attain.

I'm dragged out of my conscious terror when I hear a commotion outside of the classroom, the counselor and teacher glance at each other before getting up to investigate, but the door opens before they reach it.

A man and woman walk into the classroom, taking a quick scan of the room with their eyes before settling on my huddled form.

The man has messy brown hair that falls lightly over his forehead and a thickish layer of stubble on his jaw, he has deep brown eyes and looks eternally tired. The woman has dark brown curly hair that is pulled up in the back, she looks a lot more approachable, and is wearing a comforting yet sad smile as she gazes at me.

The counselor goes to stop them when they try to approach me, but they seem to show some sort of badge. After whispering some words, the counselor begrudgingly motions for the teacher to follow her out of the classroom.

When the door closes, I finally realize I'm left alone with these two strangers, I'm about to freak out when the woman starts to speak.

"Hello deary, I'm Ellie, and this is my partner Alec. We work for the police and we were wondering if you can help us?" She kneels down onto the floor, her voice is soft and comforting, drawing me to want to open up. I glance at the man, Alec, and my eyes tear up in fear when they meet his gaze, I quickly look away and back to the woman, hesitantly nodding my head.

She smiles, patting the chair next to her, I carefully walk over and sit in the chair, Alec pulling up one next to Ellie yet refusing to sit, instead standing behind it. They don't talk for a couple seconds, almost as though thinking of what to say.

"Can you tell us your name?" Ellie delicately asks. I glance at her eyes, before stiffly nodding.

"...Y-Y/N." I was worried that they didn't hear my hoarse whisper, but the smile she gave alerted me that I was heard. She asked me a few more questions, how I'm feeling right now, what my favorite subject was, how my parents were doing, just simple questions to establish a dialogue.

I stuttered a lot when answering the last question, I don't know how they are doing, and I don't want them being called my parents, not with what he has done to me and how she ignores what he does to me.

After the last question, a few moments of silence swirls through the air. It almost stings when I breathe in, I want to cough and yell, anything but be stuck in my mind.

"How'd you get those marks on your wrists?" This is the first time I've heard Alec talk, his voice isn't harsh like I thought it'd be, he actually spoke quite gently. This is the second time I've made eye contact with him, but instead of fear, a feeling of warmth and comfort seems to flow soothingly through me. He doesn't scare me like Steven, he actually reminds me of a teddy bear, I don't know why he is making me feel safe.

I don't answer the question, shifting my gaze to the scuffed up floor of the classroom. I can tell that Alec and Ellie are sharing a knowing look.

"You said you have a step-father, right? Steven?" I visibly recoil at the name, pulling my arms over my chest, almost as though subconsciously trying to shield myself from him.

"Don't say his name." My voice is weaker, I haven't talked this much in a while, I practically became a mute ever since he first raped me.

"Y/N... Y/N!" Alec calls my name gently at first, but the second time was a little sterner, though I don't know if stern is the right word. It's the voice my dad would use when I would ignore my chores even after he reminded me. Or when he learned I was being bullied, but I refused to tell him the bully's name.

I look at Alec, sighing in contemplation as I gaze up at him.

"Did he do this to you? Did Steven hurt you?" His question makes my heart beat faster in trepidation over what I was going to say. Was I going to tell him the truth, or was I going to lie and be abused for the rest of my life until I can leave home?

Something came over me, maybe it was how I was starved of real fatherly affection, or maybe it was how I finally felt seen and understood that caused me to stand from my chair and rush over to Alec's standing form.

One second I was rigidly sitting in a cold chair, and the next I was wrapping my arms around a man that represented the father figure I so desperately needed to comfort me.

Alec seemed stunned, this was probably the last thing he expected to happen, but after realizing what was going on he delicately wrapped his arms around me, hugging me back. I can't hold it in anymore, I cry and sob against him as he comforts me, hugging me tightly to him as he calms me down.

"Steven, he... he... he rapes me."

David Bowie: The Actress

Imagine David Bowie being interviewed, and the conversation suddenly focuses on you:

David Bowie's POV:

"So David, in the newest music video you had a lovely woman beside you. Would you mind telling us about her?" The question caught me off guard, we had previously been talking about advice for younger artists, so this was a drastic change.

I find myself tilting my head in confusion, Y/N was a well kept secret. She is beloved by all of America, yet somehow managed to stay hidden away from all of Europe; but I never thought she was so niche that the British media couldn't find any information on her.

The interviewer noticed my change in mood, deciding to reword her rather blunt question.

"I don't mean that in a rude way, we know that she is the lovely actress Y/N L/N. I was simply wondering how it was that you stumbled upon her... Over here many haven't even heard of her." She leans forward, eagerly awaiting my response.

"Of course, what would you like to know?" I don't really know what to expect, Y/N is quite the spectacular woman, and the questions are sure to be spectacular as well.

"Well... How did you two meet? Did her people contact you? Was it pure chance?" The interviewer clasps her hands together as she awaits my answer. I start thinking about how I got in contact with her, having to stifle a smirk at the memory of her manager's surprise when he learned that David Bowie wanted Y/N in his newest music video.

"I reached out to her." I state calmly as I imagine her serene voice, smiling slightly as I replay her moments of stubbornness during filming. She wasn't a rude sort of stubborn, but she stuck firm to her beliefs, and always knew how to win my approval.

"You did!?" She's clearly taken aback at hearing I specifically wanted such an 'unknown' actress starring with me. I can't help but want to sigh in annoyance, Y/N deserves much more recognition for her amazing skill. Her acting is stunning, and I learned over filming that her musical talent is just as brilliant, if not better. That reminds me, I'll have to ask her about a possible future collaboration.

"Yes... I had seen her in the film 'Poem to a Murderer,' and had subsequently written a song in admiration of her. Then when the song was chosen from my album to get a music video, I simply couldn't pass up on the chance to meet the wonderful actress herself." She was breathtaking in that film, gaining both my admiration and attention in the psychological thriller. The interviewer nods in thought, mulling my answer before opening her mouth to respond.

"Can you tell us anything about her role that caught your attention?" There's so much I could say, so much I want to say, but I don't want to spoil the amazing movie. How do I word this into a short sentence whilst still exclaiming my admiration for Y/N?

"Well, the movie itself was a beautifully written and produced piece of art in itself, disturbingly surreal in a way with the imagery they created. I don't want to spoil too much, but I can tell you that every second of that film keeps you on your toes, and Y/N's character kept me on the edge of my seat every scene she was in." I can't help but praise everything about her. She was exceptional in the film, and started me on a search to find and watch everything that she starred in.

"Ever since the music video, theories about you have been flying all through England. Any chance there might be some truth to them?" She asked the question so bluntly that I'm almost stunned. I'll never get used to interviewers being borderline rude while asking intrusive questions.

"Well it really depends on what's being said. I always have rumors circulating about me." I chuckle slightly, both in humor as well as hidden disdain at the truth of my statement. I am slightly intrigued about what she is talking about specifically, what theories have formed about me this time?

"I have sources who claim to have been on set during filming. They said you two were incredibly flirty with one another. They reckon a romantic fling occurred behind closed doors?" Her question isn't said cruelly, she genuinely seems curious; as does the audience from the looks of it. I hate these questions, why does everyone always have to spread rumors?

"Sorry to disappoint you, but there was no 'romantic fling'. Y/N was a very polite and professional person, so much so that I actually thought she didn't like me at first." I laugh through the latter part of my sentence, but I also cringe faintly at the feeling of dejection I had during that time.

"Really! She didn't like you at all?" This is becoming vaguely annoying, I tell them something, then they restate it wrong.

"That's not what I said, I said I thought she didn't like me. During the beginning of filming she was very closed off and focused, but even when the cameras were off she was professional to the point I thought she didn't like me." I explain with a sigh, remembering those moments where I shyly would try talking to her, only to be met with what I perceived as a closed off response.

"Oh, but... did she like you?"

"Luckily she did. It was funny, I remember the specific moment I realized that she didn't hate me. We were filming the fight scene, and the person I was sparring with, Jeffrey Callos, actually caught me in the jaw." I explained before she burst forward in astonishment.

"You were punched? Bet he got the sack." Her eyes are wide open as she surveys me, the crowd laughing lightly at the second half of her sentence.

"Ha ha, not quite. You see, my crew plotted this because they said I was being daft thinking she hated me. I had bet that she would stay in character and play it off, maybe even laugh. Practically everyone else bet that she might kill Jeff."

"Well! What did she do!"

"Funny enough, she nearly killed Jeff... " The audience burst out laughing at my statement, the interviewer and I were chuckling as well. I waited for everyone to settle before continuing my story.

"No no, she didn't kill him. She did run right over, fretting over me and asking if I was okay before running off IN HEELS to get me an ice pack and towel. I can't tell you the relief I felt at that moment. I was worried that she really hated me, but deep down she was incredibly caring and very sweet." I feel embarrassed in a way, describing how caring this reserved woman became when she saw me topple over from the punch.

"So... Does she know? The truth I mean?" Her question is quick to follow my explanation, so quick I don't understand it completely.

"What's that now?"

"Does she know the truth? Did she find out it was a set up?"

"Ah, yes well, it is kind of hard to miss when everyone is smirking at us as she helped me up. I had to explain the situation, and she got awfully flustered." A warm smile spreads across my face at the memory of her with a deep blush across her cheeks.

"I almost thought she would punch me as well, but she just kissed my cheek before saying she could never hate me."

"Aww." The crowd 'oohs' and 'awwws' at the story, I admit that the memory has me blushing slightly as well.

"She seems like quite the memorable lady." She smiles at me, raising her eyebrows slightly.

"Oh, she was great... I only wish I could've gotten to know her better, but her manager was getting calls for her every second of filming. She's probably much too busy to even remember me." I drop my smile slightly, I hope she remembers me, because I'll always remember her.

"I wouldn't say that David." Her response caught me off guard, what's she talking about?

"What do you mean?" My tone shows a little confusion, but I try to keep a check on my emotions.

"You know we invited you here to not only talk about this album, but also your future role in the film Merry Christmas Mr. Lawrence?" She's grinning widely now, but I just want to know what she's building up to already.

"Yes... But what does that have to do with Y/N?" I squint my eyes slightly as I watch her sit up sharply.

"Ladies and gentlemen, please welcome the lovely Y/N L/N, who will be starring alongside David Bowie in Merry Christmas Mr. Lawrence." The shock on my face must have been priceless as I turned and watched as Y/N gracefully walked towards us, the crowd's cheers quickly shifting into a mixture of giggles and laughter.

I stand up quickly, wanting to be polite as well as impress her. I may have neglected to tell the interviewer, but I did develop a slight attraction towards Y/N during filming.

"Hello Jonesey." Her sweet voice has me ignoring the name, a wide smile erupting across my face. She leans forward to hug me, kissing my cheek softly in greeting before shaking hands with our interviewer. I wait for her to sit before following suit, nervously glancing sideways to see her smiling at me already.

The crowd cheers for a few more moments, gradually beginning to quiet down.

"It's been a while, hasn't it, Jonesey?" I blush at the nickname, remembering when she first started calling me it. I don't even know how it started, but she first called me 'Jonesey' to make me laugh when I was filming a serious scene in the video, and laugh I did. From then on, 'Jonesey' was her go to nickname whenever she saw me.

"It's only been a few weeks, love." I grin, patting her hand gently as it rests on the armrest. Surprise gripping me as she lifts up my hand to her lips, gently kissing it before speaking.

"Too long for me." She smirks playfully to me, and I offer her a warm smile in reply before nervously glancing away.

The crowd has quieted down enough now, hopefully not noticing the intimate moment that passed between us.

"What was that? Seems like a lot more than costars catching up." Of course, the interviewer is sadly never one to miss a possible question. My mind stutters as I try to think of what to say, luckily not having to.

"I just love making Jonesey blush, surely he's told you that."

"What do you mean miss L/N?" Oh no, why do interviewers always manage to dig up embarrassing personal things. I'm usually okay with this, but being so near Y/N just has my mind fried.

"I mean, hasn't David told you of all the times I purposely just tried to make him blush during filming? I have a wonderful amount of memories where he couldn't even get a word out with how flustered he was." She giggles at the end of her sentence, lightly shoving my shoulder humorously as a blush dusts my cheeks again.

"David? You've been holding back on me?" The interviewer looks at me in a jokingly accusing way, crossing her arms as she looks at me.

"Nooooo... I've just been.. Selectively sharing?" My voice is uneven, I couldn't even form a proper sentence when she was near me. I glance to Y/N as I practically ask my sentence, waiting for her to nod in confirmation before shifting back to the interviewer a little more confident.

However, that confidence was a little damaged when the audience laughed at the interaction.

"Well, I think we know who wears the pants in the relationship. Anyways... " The interviewer continues on as I struggle to try and find my words to argue with her, but I'm quickly silenced by Y/N's gentle tug on my sleeve. She pulls me back in my seat, quietly whispering in my ears,

"You can show me who's the boss after... " Her words are delicate, no longer exuding the confidence from earlier, clearly unsure of how I'll respond.

The interviewer continues rambling, but I simply gaze deeply into her eyes, calmly kissing her hand in response before we both turn our attention back to the interviewer. But we aren't really paying attention, our minds wandering to scenarios of what might play out when this interview finishes.

David Bowie: Kid Sister

Imagine living with your older brother, David Bowie, but running away when he chooses drugs over you:

Being David Bowie's younger sister is hard enough, but having to watch him destroy his life is near impossible.

He and I have quite the age difference, he's currently 27, whilst I am only 15, but he has taken on the role of both father and big brother. When he first took me in I was 11 and he was only 23, he had wanted to stop by and surprise us with a visit after being so busy with his latest album.

It's a long story how he ended up my legal guardian, but let's just say he walked in on our mother berating me, and witnessed her slapping me across the cheek. Needless to say, he was not pleased in the slightest and demanded a reason be given as to why I was slapped. Our mother gave no answer, instead only glaring at me with an even darker hatred than before.

She took a step towards me and I don't know what came over me, but I sprinted around her and into David, crying my eyes out as I hid behind him. I remember my small hands grasping the material of his sleeves, just wanting some feeling of love and acceptance. He seemed stunned, taking a few seconds to react to this; leaning down, he handed me his keys, telling me in a soft voice to go wait in his car. I nodded and went to open the front door when our mother decided to intervene.

"Not another step young lady." I froze in place, this was the harsh tone she used when I knew I was going to be punished and tormented for the rest of the week. Usually she doesn't do more than slap me, but with tone she doesn't hesitate to bring out the belt. I was so close to the door, but the fear that burned in my chest made me want to throw up. I wanted to get away, but what would happen to me if I took another step?

No one made any move, but I knew that this might be my only chance. Taking another step I hesitantly looked over my shoulder towards my mother. She was furious, I could almost say for certain that there was a red gleam in her eyes. She starts walking towards me, but before she can reach me, David moves between us.

"Get out of the way, David." Her tone is sharp, I'm surprised when David makes no movement in response, simply settling a glare upon her.

"She's coming with me and that is final." His sentence is almost growled out, and I can tell mother is just as taken aback as I am, stepping back slightly as her facial expression morphs into one of shock. Not another word is spoken as David turns, grabbing my shoulder as he walks us out of the front door and to his car.

The ride is a blur, I can't find myself focusing on anything other than the bleary stereo and the gray skies. I only come back to reality when he pulls up in-front of a fancy hotel, handing his keys to the valet before helping me out of the car. I glanced around in surprise, he's taken us to the nice side of town, everyone is wearing their nice clothes that I would usually only wear on Sunday for church. David releases a quiet giggle at seeing my look of awe, patting my shoulder as he leads me into the hotel.

I stay silent through the process, making sure to stay directly on David's side as he gets the room key and walks us into the elevator. David leans back against the wall and watches the numbers, but I take this time to observe him; after all, I haven't seen him in quite a while. He's grown his hair out a bit, longer than the last time I saw him, and his face looked almost angry even though it was neutral. Walking to our room he sits me down on the bed, sitting himself next to me with his hands folded in his lap; he seems hesitant, but I know why.

"Just ask me already." My voice is quiet, I cast my gaze downwards as I hear David swallow heavily.

"How long has she been treating you like that?" His question is spoken carefully, almost as though worried that I might break if he didn't pick every word precisely. I feel a small smile trying to form, it's odd, having someone be so gentle with me, especially after the years I've spent with my mother.

"... Ever since dad died." I didn't want to tell him why, mainly because our father's death hurt him a lot as well, but he was already out of the house when that happened; not having to deal with our mother during the aftermath. I don't blame him, in fact, I never wanted him to know, I hate being such a burden.

"Well, no one will ever hurt you again. I promise." His tone is a stark contrast to earlier, being stern and certain; not harsh, but strong and confident. I look to the side, meeting his gaze before pushing forward and hugging him tightly. His body goes rigid, clearly being surprised, but slowly steadying as he envelopes my weak form with his arms.

_______

Ever since that day, I lived with my brother, traveled with him, helped him with his music, etc. We shared a life in a way, but he always made sure that my education came first, hiring me private tutors everywhere we went. I had so much fun, being raised by him was much different than being raised by our mother. David was kind and gentle, only really getting stern when I blatantly went against our agreed upon rules; such as that one time I snuck out of our hotel and went backstage to one of his concerts.

Oh, he was pissed, we got into a bit of a row before stomping off in opposite directions. We avoided each other for the rest of the night and the following day, only talking during a midnight snack run-in. I apologized, I knew it was dangerous to sneak out to a concert where I might be recognized and swarmed by fans. I also told him my reasoning, having not seen him for more than a couple of minutes over the last few months due to the concerts and rehearsals, exclaiming that I just wanted to see him.

David also apologized for yelling at me, he hates yelling and felt really bad, to which I made sure he knew it was alright. He promised to try and spend more time with me, taking time out of the next day for us to go get lunch and ice cream.

We had a lot of fun, but we ended the night running away from a crowd of fans. One of them had managed to grab his sleeves, resulting in him losing his coat. I laughed at first until we finally got away. I observed his hunched over body as we heaved for breath, he was much skinnier than I thought. I hadn't really been paying attention, but I can tell when someone is underweight, and he kind of reminded me of a skeleton.

That was when I started to pay more attention to him, noticing how he'd been more withdrawn recently, spending most of his time reading or in his room. I noticed that he often sniffled, I thought he had a cold, but something about it struck me as odd. I continued watching over him for the next year or so, noticing that he never lost the sniffles for long, they would usually return after a prolonged trip to the bathroom. He also stopped eating a lot, he used to love my occasional cooking and our random jaunts to restaurants, but that all suddenly stopped.

I finally said 'fuck his privacy', searching through his bags after he'd gone to sleep. I found a bag full of white powder, and I'm no idiot, this isn't fucking flour, it's cocaine. All the signs I've noticed now make sense, but that really does fuck all for me. What can I do now? I can't tell him I know, cause then he'll ask how I know. I just need to make sure he doesn't kill himself by accident.

_______

I softly knocked on David's door. He has an interview soon, yet he hasn't left his room all day. I'm really worried about him.

"What do you want!" His voice is rough and sharp, I jump slightly. He's recently taken to shouting at me whenever I do anything, and it scares the living daylights out of me; I know I shouldn't be scared of him, but it reminds me of mom. Anytime she yelled, I knew the day had gone from bad to worse.

"David... You have an interview soon, your people said it was in 15 minutes and that you should be heading out soon." My voice is higher in pitch, that only happens when I'm dreadfully aware of my surroundings. The places we stay in are nice still, but that homey vibe that used to accompany David has long gone.

The door creaks open, the room is dark, like the curtains have been pulled and all the lights smothered. His face is pale, sickly shining in the sterile lighting of the hall. The most haunting look is his eyes, they are so empty, he just stares at me with this dull look as though not even seeing me. David has been like this for a few weeks now, gradually refusing to acknowledge my presence to the point of convincing me I might not actually exist.

It hurts a lot, knowing the person you love and look up to sees you as nothing, but I still push forward.

He pushes the door open wider and walks past me, already dressed up in his suit and dragging along a cane.

"David... David!" He walked into the living room before turning to me, his eyes seemingly set ablaze.

"What." His tone is sharp with agitation, the short response making me feel uncomfortable.

"I... I was wondering...if-" My hesitant words get cut off as David glares at me.

"Hurry up and say it already!" He raises his voice, I can tell he's holding back from shouting at me.

"I just... David, I know." I don't know how else to word it, I just know that I need to confront him on his drug abuse.

"You know? Know what?" He actually seems generally confused, oh how his senses have been dulled.

"I know... I know about the drugs." The last half of my sentence is whispered, but his immediate rigidity alerts me that he heard me loud and clear. I finally look up to his face, and somehow he's become even paler; so gaunt I fear he may faint.

"H-How do you know about that?" For the first time in a while he sounds vulnerable, maybe even a little scared. There's no going back now, I have to tell him the truth and hope he sees reason.

"I looked through your bag a while ago and found it, please don't be mad!" There was a lilt in my voice, but it wasn't pleasant to hear, it more emphasized my worry at how this situation could unfold, and the next movements would only solidify that worry.

"How dare you." It had been silent for about a minute, so his stern toned sentence caught me slightly off guard.

"What?"

"Don't bring up matters that are none of your business!" Talking to him is like riding a roller coaster, one second he responds calmly, the next he's shouting your ear off. I actually stumble backwards, somewhat in shock due to the pure aggression and loathing he conveyed through his tone. The shout resonated in my head for a few moments before I forced myself to talk, my courage beginning to run thin.

"But David! Surely you can see that you're addicted-" My voice is soaked with concern, I love him so much, and this self-destructive behavior of his is hurting me as well. I'm about to continue but he steps forward and roughly shoves me back against the hotel wall.

"I'm not addicted! It is just a hobby!" The unbridled rage flows through his eyes, I see him raising his hand, but the rest is unknown because I shut my eyes tightly and turned away. I held my breath for a few seconds, awaiting the onslaught of abuse, but after being met with none I decided to maybe open my eyes.

The view I'm met with is pitiful almost, David is simply staring at me in shock, my arms still up to block any hits. I begin to breathe again, slowly lowering my arms as I watch his eyes well with tears.

"Y/.. Y/N, why did you do that?" I stare at him wearily, I thought he was going to hit me, I don't trust him anymore.

"You know why." I state solemnly, my voice but a whisper in the quiet hall.

"I would never!" He shouts back defensively, causing me to flinch away again.

He backs up frantically, he's about to say something before someone starts slamming on the door, hurriedly stating a message.

"Mr. Jones, your interview is in 5 minutes! We need to leave sir!" David stills for a moment before turning away. He straightens his suit and smooths his hair before grabbing his cane and walking to the door. As he's reaching for the handle he turns back to me, that same empty look having embodied him again.

"We'll talk about this when I get back." He's so cold, that's the coldest he's ever spoken to me, and I don't think I can take it anymore. Nodding my head, David leaves without another glance, a heavy feeling settling in my chest as I can feel the tears streaming down my face. I wipe them away quickly, the torn sleeve of my shirt dragging across my skin.

I can't stay here anymore, the way he spoke, what he did, how he left... He's chosen, and he didn't pick me. I should leave now, while he's gone. I stumble to my room, my legs apparently being a little wobbly after that interaction.

I pull out my backpack, shoving in clothes as well as my pen and notebook, packing my tooth brush/paste, combs, and moisturizer. I have to pack light, if the crew sees me heading out with a suitcase they will surely stop me from leaving, and I don't need David knowing that I was trying to run away... I worry to think what he would do to me.

I tear off my shirt and jeans and shove on a clean pair, wrapping my large jacket around my shivering frame, slipping on some insulated sweatpants as well. What can I say, it's December in New York City, I'm going to be cold as it is, no need to be freezing. I let my hair down to block my face, shoving on my boots before taking one last glance around.

Taking in my surroundings, I close my eyes and say a silent goodbye to David before grabbing my belongings and leaving.

Johnny Depp: Bodyguard Bestfriend

Imagine being a long time bodyguard for the Depp family, and having to be a witness during the trial:

*Includes blood, violence and domestic violence, based off of real events but not completely accurate*

Well, this is not where I expected to be. The year is 2022, and I'm currently sitting in court, waiting to be called to the stand.

_______

I can still remember the day I got fresh out of the army, I had a music major under my belt as well as 5 years active duty as a Calvary Scout.

I was so lost, I had no idea what I was doing, so I just started applying for security jobs - figuring my military time would come in handy, it did.

I got hired by a company that ran a security-for-hire gig, renting us out to anyone that needed us. I got a lot of shit at first due to my height, being only 5'6 isn't exactly scary, not to mention that women also aren't very intimidating usually. I did prove my worth in the end, I had a lot of training when it came to hand-to-hand combat, and I was also very adept at creating plans and schedules.

That's actually how I met Mr.Depp, or Johnny as he prefers... He had hired us for a gig out in LA; he had his family with him at one of the red carpet events, and wanted complete security for his wife and children. We hadn't talked at all, I was the head of my crew, making sure everyone was in position and ready in case some fan - or fanatic as I prefer - came jumping at them.

There were two people that had me on edge though, Johnny has two young children, and children tend to be unpredictable. This only became apparent after the night had already begun, Jack stayed close to his parents, but Lily seemed intrigued by me. Maybe it was because I was the only female security guard there, I really don't know.

It wasn't really annoying or anything, all that happened was she walked with me, wanting to hold my hand as we walked past the screaming fans. She got kind of scared of them, clinging onto my hand and sleeve, I knelt down and offered her my sunglasses, which she skeptically put on.

"Now those flashes won't hurt your eyes." I state with a smile that she immediately returns, flinging her arms around me in a hug. The screaming increases in intensity at this, making her friendly hug turn into a slightly scared embrace. I sigh quietly as I look to see the family quite a ways away, 'no way she'll do that alone' I think to myself.

I release another exasperated sigh before wrapping my arms around her delicately, picking her up.

"Don't drop my glasses kid." I say sarcastically, hearing her lightly giggle as I start walking back to Mr.Depp and his family.

Entering the awards was a breeze, there were fences, security guards were everywhere, everyone stuck together; it's the leaving that causes issues. Mr.Depp has a habit of wanting to leave early, meaning that it's just us against an ocean of people.

I already assumed he would want to leave early, so I had my crew create a tunnel through the crowd for the family that led them straight to the car. Everything had gone just as planned, although one issue did arise, Lily-Rose had disappeared. They were in the limo and Johnny was thunderous, exclaiming that they couldn't find Lily as he hurriedly attempted to exit the car.

My men looked to me, I took over, ordering some to stay with the car and for the rest to get searching. I looked over at Mr.Depp, who had one foot out of the car, with a sigh I walked over and gently shoved him back inside the car. He was obviously unhappy, even more so since I stopped him from exiting the vehicle.

"What are you doing! I have to find my daughter!" He yelled as he tried again, but I blocked his attempt.

"Mr.Depp, I have my men out looking for her, we won't leave without her." I reply calmly.

"That's not good enough!" He huffed angrily, glaring at me.

I was getting nowhere with him being polite, time to switch tactics.

"Take a look around sir! If you get out now, not only will your daughter be missing, but you will be too!" I exclaimed, glaring back at him as I waved my hand towards the frenzied crowd. He took a few seconds just looking around, I noticed his anger slowly slip off of his face, instead replaced by worry and fear.

"Sir please, if I know you'll stay in the car with your family, I can send more people to search for her." I explain, resting a reassuring hand on his stiff shoulder. He looks down to me, his face holding a calmer tone as he nods in understanding, sitting back in the car with a defeated sigh.

"Just find my daughter please." I nod my head, stationing 4 men on the car before sending the rest to search for Lily. I start searching as well, although I walk along the outskirts of the crowd to observe them.

The place is full of hustle and bustle, some of the fans seem to be looking for her as well, my crew are sweating bullets in fear of the repercussions for losing one of their clients. I simply shake my head, now is not the time to think of the repercussions, I need to keep my head in the game.

Turning around to glance back at the car, I notice something in the distance and take off running, two large figures are dragging away what looks to be a resistant juvenile. I call over my shoulder for some help, continuing my sprint when I hear some of my guys following me. When we get closer we can hear muffled cries and screams, it triggers an aggressiveness in myself that I'm surprised by.

We tackle the guys, quickly subduing them. I hand mine off to the other guy, worried I might do something rash. I quickly pull Lily away, not wanting her anywhere near those guys.

"Lily, what happened?" Her voice is uneven as she stutters out an answer. Explaining how she went looking for me before she was grabbed by them. I have to hold in my tears, she was looking for me? This is my fault, I should've kept a closer eye on her, especially after what happened earlier today!

I hug her tightly, making sure that knows she is safe now, that her daddy and mommy are waiting in the car. I kiss the top of her head, feeling her curl up against me in a comforting embrace. I heave a sigh before calling over two other guards, asking them to escort Lily back to the car.

She is reluctant, refusing to let go of me at first, but I made a promise to check in with her when I reach their hotel. That did the trick because she slowly released her hold.

I sternly instruct the guards to keep a firm hold of both her hands as they walk her to the car, not wanting her to slip away to look for me again.

I tiredly turn around to the two men on the ground, rolling my eyes as I call the police to have them taken in. This was an attempted kidnapping after all, can't let them roam the streets.

The cops arrive a few minutes after the limos leave, the situation takes about an hour overall, meaning the time is now around 11pm. I send the two remaining guards home before I begin driving over to the hotel. My stomach feels sick, I'm unsure of what will happen when I arrive.

Walking into the lobby, I'm immediately met by some of my men. They explain that Mr.Depp has demanded to see me as soon as I arrived, now I feel sick as a dog. The elevator ride was eerie, I've never felt so nervous, but then again, my client's daughter has never been kidnapped before either.

I still try to hurry, not allowing my worry to slow my actions. Although, my timid knocks may have given away your uneasiness.

A few seconds pass as the door unlocks and swings open, being met with the neutral look of Mr.Depp

"Mr. Depp I—" I got interrupted by a light tackle to your legs. Looking down, I notice it's Lily latched onto me, a contagious smile spreading across my face. My nervousness completely disappears as I kneel down to her level

"Shouldn't you be asleep right now?" I ask lightly as she pulls back from the hug. As she's about to respond, Johnny interrupts, saying it's past her bedtime, and that he had some business to discuss.

He had the whole penthouse floor to himself, so he simply walked to the outside patio on the opposite side for us to talk. I started getting nervous, he probably brought me over here so his family won't hear him yelling at me. He takes a breath, and I brace myself

"Thank you... for today." His voice is quiet but firm as he speaks.

To say I'm shocked is an understatement, his daughter nearly gets kidnapped, and he's thanking me? He turns around, being met with my astonished expression

"But sir, your daughter was kidnapped because I-" I attempt to say, but he halts my sentence.

"STOP... Stop it, I know you're blaming yourself." His tone is stern, almost fatherly, he is old enough to be my father.

"But sir, it was my negligence that led to thi-" I attempted to continue, but was cut off once again as he grabbed both my shoulders, forcing me to face him. His face is calm and serious as he speaks to me.

"No, no it wasn't, Lily told me what happened." He explained.

I stayed silent, wondering what she said, we looked at each other for a few solemn seconds before he let out a silent huff. His hand slips from my shoulders as he turns around and rests them on the railing, gazing at the city lights.

"She told me how she purposely went off looking for you even though she knew she wasn't allowed to do that." He continued.

"I'm also sorry... about yelling at you earlier, I was scared for my daughter, but that's not an excuse for my actions." He apologized, shoulders slumping as he spoke.

"It's alright-" I try to reply, I'm starting to understand where Lily gets her interrupting habit from.

"No it's not, stop trying to let me off the hook just like that, let me finish my piece." He stated in that stern fatherly tone again as he turned to face me. I sheepishly avoid eye contact, nodding my head for him to continue. A few seconds pass before he speaks again.

"Come to breakfast with my family tomorrow, we all would like to thank you, not to mention, I may have some business to discuss with you." With that he turns and walks off, leaving me standing there dumbfounded.

__

The next day we had a friendly breakfast, it made me think of when I was still close with my family.

Lily clung to my side the whole time, asking about my job, if it was fun, what I used to do, where I'm from. So many questions were asked within the span of 1 hour. Johnny had me stay behind, walking us over to a nearby cafe to discuss "business," whatever that means

"I want to hire you." He abruptly stated, stopping me from sipping my drink.

"You already hired me?" I reply with a confused tone, scrunching my eyebrows slightly.

"No, I mean, I want you to be part of the permanent security team. That means you'll travel with me and will always be near." It took me a few moments to realize the sincerity in his tone, he was being serious. He wanted to hire me after what happened yesterday?!

"What? why?" I exclaimed in confusion and shock, stuttering when I realized how rude that must've sounded.

My stuttering is cut off by his laughter, obviously finding my reaction amusing. He calms down quickly, but an endearing smile remains on his face

"I like you, you're surprisingly easy to talk to even though you are so quiet. My family seems to enjoy your company even though we've only known you for a day, my daughter has also taken to you surprisingly well."

"Okay, but don't you want my CV and everything?" I respond, still a little confused. He rubs the back of his neck, his grin turning into a sheepish smile

"I may have called your boss last night and requested your folder..." he trails off, looking at his drink.

"What... Are they even allowed to give you that?" I responded.

"Sorry about that, and no, I don't think they were allowed to do that." He replies, glancing back at me. I'm still shocked, my mouth hanging open slightly

"I know that's a bit intruding and inappropriate of me, but we're leaving soon and I-" He rambles, but now it's my turn to interrupt him.

"I accept." He's about to continue his explanation before an astonished look washed over him

"You do?" He asks, tone showing how surprised he is, perhaps he thought I would turn his offer down.

"Yes, now if you don't mind, I'd like to drink my coffee now."

For the rest of the day he had a big as smile on his face, which only grew as he told his family the news.

_______

From that day on, I lived and traveled with them, scheduling the details and shifts, making sure everything was ready for his arrival, I even sometimes functioned as a tutor.

At first he had me as just a guard for the entire family, but as the kids got older he assigned me specifically as Lily's bodyguard. I didn't mind this, it just meant that we could go out shopping together more often. As she grew, we developed a very close bond. When she was younger she acted like I was a second mother, but when she became a teen I became her big sister.

Over the years, Mr. Depp became Johnny whenever it was just us or the family. He always scolded me for calling him Mr.Depp, saying it made him sound old. He really became a father figure for me, especially after he finally learned why I never mention or talk to my family. Mrs.Paradis, or Vanessa as she preferred, became friends with me, though we weren't as close as Lily and I. Jack also became closer with me, though I could tell he felt a little awkward around me, I think he has a slight crush, though I can't be certain.

They became my family, I loved them so much, I hoped it would never end. Of course, all good things eventually die.

I was on set with Johnny for the Rum Diaries, it wasn't unusual for him to bring me along, it felt more like bringing his daughter with him instead of a bodyguard.

It was all fun, the movie was going great, he seemed to be having fun. But something was different after he returned home, he seemed off, like something was eating away at him. I tried getting him to talk, he just brushed it off, saying it was nothing; but I could tell by his smile that he was trying to reassure himself as well.

That was the beginning of the end for my happy family, the separation was not something anyone was happy about. I knew it stung when Vanessa learned how much younger Amber Heard was, she confided in me that this was something she always feared deep down. His kids were okay, they weren't ecstatic, but they weren't angry either; I could tell they just wanted their father to be happy.

Amber was... something else. Johnny seemed happy, it was like a year long honeymoon phase, although she wasn't exactly the nicest person if you ask me. Jack and Lily quickly began to dislike her, as did I, we would actively avoid her at all costs.

I especially tried to avoid her, she would always glare at me if I was anywhere near Johnny, demanding that I call him Mr.Depp even when we were just at home. She set me on edge, and the wedding only made it worse.

Lily was vehemently against attending the wedding, meaning I wouldn't be going either since she wanted to go out instead. I pulled Johnny aside and explained the situation. He was unhappy, but accepted his daughter's decision.

Before we left for our trip I pulled Johnny aside, taking both his hands warmly in mine as I said my congratulations and wished him well.

I spot Amber in the distance, beginning to walk towards us, so I hurry myself. I un-clip the chain around my neck, taking Johnny's hand, allowing it to coil in his palm before closing it. I look at him, smiling at the shock on his face, clearly surprised by my actions.

"B-but, that's your fathers ring!" He stutters, conflicted by what I've done.

"And now it's yours." I reply

"Y/N, I can't take this!" He exclaims, trying to give it back, but I shove his hand into his chest.

"Johnny, you've been more of a father than he ever was... I want you to have it." I responded quietly, feeling embarrassed by what I said.

He smiles as he pulls me in for a warm hug, immediately making me feel at ease. As we part, he kisses my check gently before separating completely. He removes the ring from the necklace, sliding it onto his middle finger before re-clipping the chain around my neck.

I thank him, and he's about to speak when Amber steps into our conversation. I can tell by the hostile glare in her eyes that she isn't very happy with me, but Johnny doesn't seem to notice. She drags him away before he could speak, but I simply smile and wave as he sheepishly does the same.

I pivot on my heel and head off to find Lily.

_______

If I thought she was bad before the wedding, I had no idea what was coming after the honeymoon.

Something was off with Johnny, he was a lot quieter, and that's saying something since he is already a reserved person. They also seemed to argue, I already knew about their arguments from before, but now they seemed to be happening in the open a lot more. Lily hated Amber, refusing to interact with her, always dragging me away to her room whenever Amber was near.

I don't object, Amber had taken to yelling at me too, so I enjoyed the moments Lily and I would scramble away and avoid talking to her. We survived like that for a few weeks, but then Johnny called us into the living room. Lily and I glanced at each other in confusion, wondering if either of us did something wrong.

"Y/N, Lily, I've called you here because there is going to be a slight change in Y/N's job." Lily and I both relaxed, assuming that it was going to be small and insignificant.

"From now on Y/N, you will be Amber's personal bodyguard." My eyes widened, I glanced over at Lily to see what I'm sure is the same reaction as me. Lily opens her mouth to argue, but Johnny holds up his hand to silence her.

"My decision is final." I looked away from Johnny to see Lily's eyes watering subtly. She looked between them both before running off back to her room; I went to run after her, but a firm grasp yanked me back.

Looking back to them, I noticed it was Amber who had pulled me back, a stern scowl on her face.

"Where do you think you're going?" She asks, her voice is definitely going to get on my nerves.

"To talk to Lily?" I state in confusion, wondering why she stopped me.

"She'll be fine, but I need you, I'm heading out with my sister to go shopping. Be ready in 10." She left no room for me to talk, simply turning and walking off. To say I was stunned is an understatement, so much is happening, it's hard to wrap my head around it.

I must've looked as lost as I felt because Johnny reached over and placed his hand delicately on my shoulder. I nervously look at him, being brought back to Earth by the warm, gentle look in his eyes.

"Are you alright, doll?" I smile slightly at the pet name, he's been calling me that since about a year after hiring me(I told him about how the guys in my unit jokingly called me"Doll").

"Yah, I'm just... Shocked. It never ran through my head that you might assign me to someone else, I guess it was unexpected for Lily too." I reply, looking down in thought.

"I never did plan on assigning you to someone else." Johnny stated, his voice holding a hint of annoyance, but it was well hidden.

"What do you mean?" I asked, now completely confused.

"Humph, I didn't want to reassign you, but Amber practically demanded that you be assigned as her personal bodyguard." He responds, looking away as he explains, it sounds like he wants to complain, but he is holding back.

I open my mouth to respond, but my voice is taken away as I gasp in surprise. Johnny looks at me, startled by my unexpected reaction. Now that he's looking at me, my eyes widen in worry.

"What? What is it?" He asks quickly, wanting to know what's made me like this.

I slowly reach my hand out towards his face, he lets me, it's not uncommon for me to poke him or fix his hair, but this is different. My hand gently caresses the skin under his left eye, how did I not notice the swelling?

When he realizes what I'm doing, he almost reels back within the blink of an eye, turning around so I'm facing his back.

"Johnny. What's going on?" It was meant to be a question, but it came out as a demand. His body deflates slightly, realizing I'm not letting him off the hook. He turns to speak, but is interrupted by Amber bustling down the stairs, speaking loudly on the phone.

"Y/N, hurry up and pull the car around already, we have to pick up my sister and you're making us late." Amber states in a grating tone.

"Alright alright, but give me a second, wanna take a selfie with Johnn-err Mr.Depp." I state, quickly correcting myself after noticing the look in Amber's eyes.

"Why do you want a picture with him, you see him everyday." She stated flatly.

"My family demands proof that I work for him." I reply effortlessly, she luckily has no idea that my family and I have had no communication for over 10 years. Johnny, however, immediately noticed my lie, thankfully only side-eying me.

I take out my phone, standing next to him, taking a few, telling Johnny to angle his head more to the right in a few. I smile after our 10 second photo-shoot, hugging him quickly before speed-walking out the door to grab the car.

He's probably flabbergasted right now, wondering why I lied about my family, and why I wanted to take some pictures with him. To be honest, I don't think that swelling got there due to something innocent, so I took a shit ton of pictures with him so that I can look at them.

I drive the car around to the front and wait for Amber. In my spare time, I open my phone and look at some of the photos. Not gonna lie, he's always prepared for a picture, even when he's caught completely off guard.

Analyzing the pictures, I note the swelling under his eye, as well as his cheek and a little bit on his nose. It's subtle, I'm surprised I caught it. He's also got a very light bruise that looks like it's in the last stage of healing. I go to look closer, but quickly shut my phone off as Amber enters the back of the car.

_______

That wasn't the only time I had an impromptu photo-shoot with Johnny, there were quite a few to come, all of them capturing worse injuries than before. Halfway into their marriage I knew for sure what was happening, before that I had only heard the fights and been left to assume, but getting caught in their fight was wild.

Amber had been up in his face, pushing him, saying vulgar and cruel things as he tried to leave. The other security were looking at me, wondering what they should do. This wasn't the first time we removed Johnny for his safety, so I quickly sent a text for someone to pack him a bag, motioning one of the guards to grab the car and bring it around.

I was Amber's guard, I'm supposed to protect her, but I know deep down that my default is to always protect my true family, and that certainly isn't her. So when I walk over and see her pull her arm back to slap him, I don't hesitate to stop her.

I grab her arm, shoving her back so that I'm between them. I don't want to fight her, that would definitely get me fired, the only thing I can do right now is protect Johnny, and possibly myself. The anger in her expression magnifies as she looks back to me, Walking up and getting in my space, clearly wanting a reaction. I stand firm, not allowing her to get to Johnny, but not wanting to hurt her either.

"Get out of here Johnny." I say, not removing my eyes from the threat.

"And leave you here? No way." He states firmly.

"I'll be fine alright, I'll catch up with you okay? G/N(guards name)! Take Mr. Depp to the car and get him out of here!" I shout to the guard across the room. I can see him coming closer in my peripheral, leading Johnny away, though I can tell Johnny felt extremely conflicted.

All the while, I'm blocking Amber as they escape, not letting my guard down until I hear the elevators beep from down the hall. When she realizes they are gone, it's like she somehow got even angrier. She looks down the hallways, then fixes her glare on me. Before I have time to react, I find myself across the floor, my mind dazed, a stinging on the left side of my face.

I shake myself as I stand, taking a few seconds to realize I just got punched in the face. I touched my lip, it got caught on my tooth and is bleeding something terrible. I wiped the blood off with my sleeve, but know it's useless right now.

"Oh, don't tell me you've never bled before? What with your military time?" Her voice is so patronizing as she leers, she taunts me anytime she can and it's reaching a boiling point.

"ENOUGH!" I yell, but she simply smirks, enjoying my reaction.

"Too scared to fight me? Afraid you'll lose?" She continues her taunting, looking down at me with her annoying height.

"More like I'm afraid I'll kill you." I state grimly, my instincts telling me she's going to strike out and that I should attack her first, but I know if I hurt her, it'll get turned on me. I wait a second, taking in a deep breath before shaking my head and turning around.

"Stop running! You people can't keep RUNNING!" She screams as she shoves me back around, screaming in my face.

"You make us run! You're so fucking awful that the only thing we can do is leave!" I shout back, shoving her off of me.

"If you walk out that door, consider yourself fired." She states arrogantly as I walk to the front door. My hand hovers for a second as I think everything over.

"I consider that a blessing, but you're not my boss." I growl before turning the handle and walking down the hall, taking the stairs instead of the elevator. I call G/N, asking them to send me the address as I start up my car.

Johnny was not happy when I got there, in fact, he looked ready to tear into me, but immediately stopped when he saw my face. About halfway through the drive I started crying, wondering how long she's been hurting him, how long she's been treating him like shit. He only takes a second to study me before rushing forward, pulling me into a comforting embrace as I cried into his shoulder

It's kind of funny looking back now, he was so focused on comforting me even though he was the one experiencing that mistreatment for years. He was always a gentle and caring man, but that moment made me realize just how selfless he is.

From that moment on, he allowed me to photograph his injuries without making me act as if I simply wanted selfies with him. He only agreed to it as long as I wouldn't let myself get hit for him, he hated seeing me get injured, and he didn't want his spouse to be the cause of it. I was scared when I agreed, scared that I could do nothing, but I quickly realized that getting him out of there would keep us both safe.

I kept all the photos on my computer, making sure to have duplicates, as well as keeping a hidden copy of prints. Johnny would also send me photos from when I got hurt, he wanted me to save them as well. She's only hurt me a few times, mainly when I try to get between her and Johnny, I usually would've broken her arm already, but I could never do anything to hurt Johnny.

_______

I was brought forward as one of Johnny's witnesses, I didn't want to go up there, to explain what I had to witness and allowed to happen. I felt disgusted with myself that I let Johnny get treated that way for so long, but I know that he had to leave her by his own decision.

In all the recordings brought forward, I was usually in them, you could hear me in the background, or I might've been right in the middle of it. I knew that the defense was going to lay into me, try and tear me a new one, but I hope that I can take the publicity and stress of it all.

I somehow managed to stay basically anonymous throughout all my years of watching over the Depp's, only pictures and videos of my covered face being seen, but now I'd be in front of the world. My name out in the open, my face on every news channel, my family will know where I am - that's possibly the scariest thing about this.

I've been holding my breath during every video, every picture, and every statement. It's always hard when I hear something that includes me, I always feel like I was an enabler in his abuse because I didn't do more; but I know Johnny would get angry with himself if I told him. When he explains moments in a recording where I got between them, or where I would force him to leave, I always found myself tearing up.

I hear my name being called, I look around, seeing the nod of encouragement from his legal team. They've been so supportive and careful with me, they know about my military time yet still treat me like a delicate flower, it's nice. They've become friends to Johnny and me, I'm glad he found them.

I smile back as I step forward, feeling Johnny gently drape his hand against my arm as I walk by, a soft reassurance that he's there with me.

I swear in, keeping my voice steady as I look at the judge, allowing my eyes to glance around the room for a quick read, avoiding looking in Miss Heard's direction. Johnny and I promised that we wouldn't allow her even a second of our attention, we wouldn't look at her, we wouldn't talk to her, and outside this courtroom we wouldn't speak of her.

I seat myself carefully, eyeing the screen in front of me, glancing to the jury, Johnny's attorney, then finally landing on Johnny. I told him all of my worries, he knew of my fear of the limelight, as well as my worry that my family will recognize me and try to contact me.

Throughout all of this, he's somehow stayed strong, even though he suffered far more than I, he refused to let me feel alone, so I refuse to not play my part in this case; if anyone deserves something good in their life, it's Johnny Depp.