Happy 1 Year Of MSP!!

Happy 1 year of MSP!! 🥳

This show will always hold such a special place in my heart 🥺💕 I met a ton of wonderful people in the fandom, made new friends and did a lot of arts!! 💞

Thank you tinngun (and gemfourth) for bringing us one of the sweetest, most earnest and heartfelt stories of first love on screen 🥺❤️

His eyes look so pretty here 🥺✨

I FEEL YOU LINGER IN THE AIR (SPECIAL EPISODE)

Live screening in Bangkok in just a few minutes time (7:00PM Bangkok time 17 December 2023).

Hopefully it should be up online shortly after! 💖

😭😭😭

Chapter 6: I still feel the same

The day of their high school reunion arrives and Tinn decides to go. He’s aware it may be a terrible decision but ends up going anyway. Curiosity winning the best out of him, again. 

The day of the event, he arrives early at the place, and way too soon he finds himself standing in front of the main gate of his old school. The memories that flood his mind at that moment are wholesome, he had an excellent high school experience overall he gotta admit. 

This place brings back fond memories for the most part. 

He’s smiling widely until he recognizes a familiar figure pass in front of him. His smile fades little by little as he narrows his eyes to make sure he’s not mistaking the person who just passed by him without noticing him.

The woman walking in front of him struggles with what looks like heavy grocery bags, so once he’s sure of who that is, he’s fast to approach her. 

“May I help you?” Tinn asks politely. The woman turns around suddenly and Tinn can see the exact moment she recognizes him. 

“Tinn!” She says with enthusiasm. “You’re back!” She adds looking genuinely surprised. 

He hasn’t told her… Tinn thinks. But immediately push that thought away to greet her back.

“Hello, mae… ” he says too fast to realize what he just called her, “How have you been?” 

“Good, very good, son. And you?” She asks, as enthusiastic as before, with a smile too similar to her son’s one. 

It doesn’t go unnoticed to Tinn what she just called him but he decides to not think too much about it and replies instead, insisting on his previous offer of carrying her bags. She accepts and both of them walk to the milk bar. 

“I didn’t know you were back,” she expresses again, making small talk on the way back. 

“I came back about a month ago or so,” Tinn says as they arrive at the milk bar. 

“Are you working again at the hospital?” She asks placing her purse on the counter of the bar. The place doesn’t seem to be close, but there aren't customers either. Tinn absently wonders who was in charge while Gim was gone. 

“Yes. I started a residency at Bangkok Central Hospital a few weeks ago.” Tinn replies, and immediately follows, “Should I put this in the storage at the back?” he asks referring to the bags that are still in his hands. 

“Yes, please.” She says nodding in agreement while watching Tinn disappear at the back of the bar. “Thank you, dear. You’re as kind as always.” She adds with a wistful look, remembering when Tinn used to do the same years ago. 

When Tinn returns he finds the front counter empty. Gim isn’t there anymore, so Tinn allows himself to wander around the place a little. It hasn’t changed much. The walls, tables, and decorations remain the same, just as he remembers them. Tinn’s about to get back to the counter when one particular thing calls his attention. 

The old corkboard is still hanging in its place. With all its pictures storing countless moments.

A sad smile spreads on his face. There are still pictures of the two of them pinned there. One in particular steals his attention once again; it’s from their high school graduation day. They look so young there, so joyful. So eager for the life ahead of them, without knowing the path they would follow. To some extent, Tinn feels in debt to his younger self for not living the life he had dreamed of. 

Would things have been different if he—? 

“Tinn, have this, like in the old days,” Gim approaches him, distracting him from his troubled thoughts. “A special Jumba!” she adds, placing a big bowl of sweetened ice in front of him. 

Tinn’s smile grows until it becomes genuine. Without hesitation, he takes the bowl in his hands. 

“Thank you, mae, ” He says, and this time he notices. “I’m sorry. It comes out naturally.” He apologized, a bit embarrassed for saying it a second time.

“It’s alright, son.” She says with that big smile on her face. The smile that is so similar to his…

It reminds Tinn of the first day he tried his first Jumba, so many years ago. That one had also been given to him as a gift, and he probably had the same sad expression back then. 

They keep talking while Tinn sits and eats his ice cream on one of the seats at the counter bar of the shop. Their talking is interrupted minutes later by a boy who introduces himself as the new part-timer of the shop. The boy is very talkative and he won’t stop talking until Gim shoos him away so he can do his work.

Gim is distracted, this time by the arrival of new customers, and while Gim serves her customers, Tinn is left by himself again, alone with his thoughts and memories. Music starts playing through the speakers, the part-timer being the one in charge of the task to liven up the store, and that’s a good distraction until it isn’t. 

The music that starts playing is barely a distraction at first, normal music, Tinn barely registers it, but by the second song, Tinn is startled as he hears a familiar melody sung by an even more familiar voice. 

Tinn is paralyzed in his seat when he recognizes the lyrics and the melodious singing. Memories are immediately evoked and Tinn is taken almost ten years back to the day of his fifteenth birthday when he had his first jumba and met his first and only love.

Memories overflood him as the lyrics of the song unfolded. Lifting his gaze, Tinn finds the corner where the old guitar Gun used to play his mini-concerts with still stands as a reminder of what they used to share. 

I was just someone,  In this lonely city. I was just nobody, Until you came and took my heart.   It’s as if my room has changed its color, It’s so beautiful that nothing else can compare.   Oh, the time has stopped, This city isn’t lonely anymore. Because I have you today.    You are there standing next to me,  I’d never dreamed of finding you, Among millions of people in this city, Without having to search.   I will hold you close and never let you slip away, Because it is not a dream. Ever since you came into my heart,  I ended the search for everyone.    When you get hold of me. 

Memories of the two of them together singing the song overlap with the ones of Gun singing it alone. Only for him, that’s how Tinn remembers it.

Tinn is overwhelmed, to say the least. It’s like he was able to see Gun singing the song in front of him all over again, his beautiful voice flooding softly into his ears.

Oh, the time has stopped, This city isn’t lonely anymore. Because I have you today. 

There was a time when he hadn't been as lonely as he had been in the last few years.

I will hold you close and never let you slip away,

And in the end, he did let him slip away. It hurts so much… 

Ever since you came into my heart,  I ended the search for everyone. 

He’ll never be able to move on. 

He can deny it anymore. He needs to face his feelings and accept what his broken heart silently screams: He missed it. He missed him. And he missed the two of them together.

He misses what they had so much that it physically pains him to know that it’s over. They had thought what they had would last forever, they planned for it to be forever, but it wasn’t and he can't take it. He has never been able to take it.

He’ll never be able to move on… Because his heart is settled on him. It’s been settled on him since the beginning since he was fifteen. Him only him. Gun is the person his heart has chosen since the very first moment. And his heart is a stubborn one, and it’s unwilling to let him go.

Just by listening to their song, he realizes he still feels the same way he felt when he was still a teen, the illusion of finding love in the boy with the most beautiful voice he ever heard, now is a fading feeling, a mere memory of what one day he had the privilege to have. He had thought the love had faded too. But it didn’t, it’s very much still there as vivid as it has always been.

His heart beats so hard it hurts and he feels overwhelmed, tears start running down his cheeks without him realizing it. His entire body is shaking swamped with feelings that were born once in this same place so many years ago. 

Suddenly, he’s unable to breathe correctly, and he knows he needs to get out of here. It’s too much to take in. He needs to leave as much as he needs to breathe. 

Panting and shaking he gets up from his seat and walks away, away from his unfinished jumba, away from this music that evoked so many memories and feelings. But overall, he wants to walk away from his feelings but he can’t, and he’s now just accepting the fact that he would never be able to get rid of his feelings, nor does he think he ever wants to.

Through his clouded senses, he can hear Gim calling him concerned probably, but he’s too lost in his internal turmoil to attend to her worried call, so he just keeps walking making his way toward the exit. He needs to get out of there as soon as possible. But on his way out he impacts abruptly on the arms of the person he eagerly wants to escape from. 

Gun holds him between his arms, looking at him with shock and worry. Tinn is sure Gun is calling him, he can see the concern on his face, but he can’t hear any sound. His mind is in such a daze he feels like he's about to pass out.

“What’s wrong, Tinn?” Gun asks increasingly concerned. “What happened?” he keeps asking, with a tone as sweet as his singing voice, he cradles Tinn's face between his hands so tender and soft it makes Tinn cry even harder. When Gun feels Tinn's fill with tears cheeks he gets even more worry.

“I need to go, I need to get out of here…” Tinn mutters in a small almost broken voice, averting his eyes from Gun’s worried gaze. “It’s the same, I still feel the same… ” He adds in a whisper, sounding helpless but at the same time daring to stare back at Gun's eyes intensity.

A few heartbeats pass by them. Gun wants to ask more, he needs answers or any sort of explanation, but before Gun can say anything, Tinn gets out of his embrace and scapes, finally walking out of the house completely.

Gun looks at his mother, who is at the front door looking at him with concern, for an explanation but she’s just as clueless as him. However, when Gun enters the milk bar and listens to the music still playing inside the shop, he gets it. It all clicks in his mind like a synchronized button and Tinn’s words come back at him and everything finally makes sense. 

It’s the same, I still feel the same… Tinn has said.

The same as the first day he had listened to the song Gun played for him, the song that is now getting to its end, and with the last notes Gun realizes... If he still feels the same, that means…

It might not be over for them. 

Gun’s heart starts a hectic race against his quicking breathing when he recognizes the meaning behind those words.

“When do you think was the exact moment?” Tinn asks with his eyes sparkling with curiosity and anticipation. For a moment Gun is lost in the intense glow of those beautiful eyes.

“What do you mean?” Gun asks, voice soothing and calm. On his lips, you can see the faint hint of one of his big smiles. Tinn makes an annoyed noise and shifts his position on the bed to get a bit closer to Gun. They remain lying on their bed, facing each other. 

“You know what I mean… When do you think was the exact moment that you fell in love with me…” he finishes in a shy whisper, his eyes avoiding Gun’s for a few seconds. 

“Ummm… not sure.” Gun murmurs, gaining Tinn’s attention again. The latter is about to protest when Gun continues, “I don’t think I can spot the exact moment. It happened rather gradually. I did not realize until it practically burst in my face.” Gun explains, holding Tinn’s hands and playing with his fingers unconsciously. 

“I know the exact moment I fell for you…” Tinn says, trapping Gun's fingers between his own, with his eyes focused on the other’s face. 

“When was it?” Gun asks voice barely a whisper. So eager to know.

“Not telling you,” Tinn says with a bratty tone, letting go of Gun’s hands with a whim.

“Tinn…” Gun mutters with a half annoyed half amused tone of voice. 

Tinn tries to get away from Gun, but the latter is quicker, and in seconds Tinn is trapped under his body with his weight pressing him against the mattress.

“Still not telling me?” Gun asks in another whisper, too close to Tinn’s heated face. 

“Not telling!” Tinn's reply is stubborn. And it inevitably causes a glorious laugh from Gun. 

“You’re so cute,” Gun’s voice is full of endearment. Following up his instincts Gun leans in to steal a kiss from Tinn. But Tinn is not as weak as he has been before (he is but he’s also stubborn), so he quickly avoids contact with Gun’s lips. Making the other frown slightly and when Tinn doesn’t give in, Gun just laughs it off, shaking his head in disbelief. “Alright, let me think about it…”

Gun takes a few minutes to think it through and remember the exact moment. 

“Oh, I think I know when!” He says with enthusiasm. “Remember our first stayover?” he asks, to which Tinn just nods with built-up regained excitement. “The last day you asked me to look into your eyes, and when I did it, my heart started beating like crazy. I knew I felt different about you then. After that, it was a complete rollercoaster of emotions… you know how it went, and how it ends.” Gun finishes in a whisper, looking at Tinn with intensity. 

Tinn can’t contain the wide smile that spreads on his lips. They talked about this when they shared their first real kiss, but he never knew that had been the changing moment for Gun's feelings to make the switch from despising him to having a crush on him. It’s such pleasant information, he can’t contain his excitement and drags his boyfriend in a tight hug.

Kissing him all over his pretty face too. 

“Don’t sugarcoat me…” Gun says with fake annoyance. “I wanna know when was yours too.”

“You already know when was mine…” Tinn says with a mischievous smile. That just grows bigger at the sight of pure confusion displayed on Gun’s face. 

“Remember that time we were talking on the phone, going through the questions for the MV?” Tinn asks and Gun just nods. “That time, you asked me which was my happiest memory and I said that it was when a boy sang for me on my birthday when I was lonely eating the ice cream the same boy had given to me…”

Gun’s facial expression is a poem. A confused and blushing mess. So cute. Tinn might add.

“The moment you sang for me on my fifteenth birthday, was also the moment when my feelings started. Since that moment I knew you were the only one I wanted to be with for the rest of my life…” 

Silence falls upon them. And insecurity settles on Tinn making him feel embarrassed and insecure of his words. Was it too much of a confession? 

He’s not afraid of the intensity of his feelings but maybe for Gun can be overwhelming. So he hurries and tries to soften his words, making them a bit less scary. But suddenly every attempt to do anything dies on Tinn's lips which are being kissed with a contrasting combination of tenderness and passion.

“Every time I think I can’t love you more, you prove me wrong…” Gun mutters against Tinn’s lips, nuzzling at the soft skin before he crushes their lips together once again and again. He kept going like that multiple times, starting an endless kissing session that developed into much more by the rest of the night.

The echoes of the memory linger in the air, thickening it, and making it hard for Gun to breathe. The truth of those last few words remains as truthful as it has always been. 

Gun gives a last look at his mother, looking at her as his entire world is shaken. He recognizes the knowing look on his mother’s face but before she can say anything he runs towards the exit. Going after him, because this time he is not willing to make the same mistake as before. He’s not letting him go again. Never again.

Chapter 1 | Chapter 2 | Chapter 3 | Chapter 4 | Chapter 5 | Chapter 6 | Chapter 7 | Chapter 8 | Chapter 9 | ?

The care is in the details (2/?):

Mhok refers to Day with the Thai honorific 'Khun' because Day is his employer, right? Well, there's something that caught my attention in episode 2.

When Day shuts himself down in his room after his disastrous encounter with his brother's friends, Mhok goes after him and tries to make him open the door.

Khun! Hey, it's me, Khun! It's me, open up!

But when Day shuts him out, Mhok panics because he connects what happened to his sister to Day's breakdown. And then this happens:

Day! Day! Open the door, Day! Can you hear me?!

He drops the honorifics right away. He breaks the distance of their relationship (employer-employee) using the language because he is terrified of Day's reaction.

And have we seen Mhok terrified and freaking out before? HAVE WE?

Porjai, why are you here? Where's P'Rung? Listen, P'Rung... P'Rung what?

When Porjai fails to answer him, Mhok panics and... he just says his sister's name, without honorifics.

Porjai, tell me what happened to Rung!

Porjai, what's up with Rung!?

Mhok's language changes because he cares.

*for the umpteenth time, damn you P'Aof*