I Have A Cold And Im Miserable So Im Rewatching My Favorite Childhood Show, Phineas And Fuckin Ferb.

I have a cold and I’m miserable so I’m rewatching my favorite childhood show, Phineas and Fuckin’ Ferb.

I’m low key live-blogging to my bff so I might as well put some here. I started at season 2 because that’s what google says is the best season and I think it’s right.

- Doofenshmirtz has so much trauma and OWCA agents are therapists. He just sits there and eats wings with Perry and talks about how sad he is that he can’t come up with anything evil, then in the aglets episode Perry gives him the delete button to get rid of the embarrassing video, and when the evil plan doesn’t work he comes right back to Perry and says “I have an ouchie… in here” pointing to his HEART IM GONNA CRY DOOOOOOF

- Perry the Platypus makes that little sound intentionally. It doesn’t mean anything. It’s just a sound. Like when I hum at people. It has no translatable meaning, just tone.

- Candace is so stubborn. But she does love her brothers. She gets so mad about the aglets thing, but with Nessy Nosie, she looks at her brother’s puppy eyes and immediately agrees to throw away the evidence she wanted. Then she meets the ACTUAL MYTHICAL MONSTER and doesn’t even care, is just stubborn about it.

- “HAHAHA, IT WORKED! Your miracle growth elixir has turned you into GIANT NERDS!”

- I do enjoy the flawless girl thing. Beauty/cosmetic thing with a whole bunch of cosmetics to make insecure teenagers feel the need to buy a whole bunch of products to look “perfect” but it’s very hyperbolized so it’s clearly visible to be bad, and I’m sensing a moral about that as well. Heck yea. As I’m typing, we’re reaching the end of the episode and yea, “you both make money off of people’s natural insecurities!” Good moral.

- “Oh, that’s our sister… our -chuckles- Big sister.” (She drank the growth elixir)

- (she shrinks back while approaching her mom) “I’m back to normal!” “Normal being a… relative term.”

- why are Baljeets parents so… the way they are. I feel so bad for Baljeet. He’s got that Smart Kid Pressure ™ and can’t escape from it. Except in that one episode… but I haven’t gotten there yet.

- “oh my gosh, the square root of soon… is never.”

- “doofenshmirtz 🎶quality 🎵bratwurst”

- “Make this fish put me down!” “It’s a mammal, Candace!”

- “Your hot dog is no match… for my BRATWURST!” (No but the way Perry just keeps a hot dog in his hat that he summoned like a wizard summons a broom) (the way they’re swordfighting and Doof just takes a bite of Perry’s blade)

-Ferb is so autism

- “You know what they say: if you love something, set it free.” “We do that every day with Perry— oh, there you are, Perry!”

‘Tober drawings. The better one is cat+book, eclipse ( @eldibujista ), orb & key ( @albabbgg ), and sorta counts for fortune ( @inktober ). The other is my OC, Taffy, as she gets older, approximately ages 10, 14, and 18, for OCtober.

Idk what kinda eldritch spell this cat is casting or what potion it’s making or whose fortune it’s seeing but we should be scared

I forgot how clearly Lawrence knows about the boys’ antics. He just wandered into the garage and it was literally upside down and he didn’t mind at all. They told him they were building a teleporter and he seemed to believe them but not care. ALSO THEY JUST DETACHED THEIR GRANDFATHER’S FEET THEN REATTACHED THEM BACKWARDS

I have a cold and I’m miserable so I’m rewatching my favorite childhood show, Phineas and Fuckin’ Ferb.

I’m low key live-blogging to my bff so I might as well put some here. I started at season 2 because that’s what google says is the best season and I think it’s right.

- Doofenshmirtz has so much trauma and OWCA agents are therapists. He just sits there and eats wings with Perry and talks about how sad he is that he can’t come up with anything evil, then in the aglets episode Perry gives him the delete button to get rid of the embarrassing video, and when the evil plan doesn’t work he comes right back to Perry and says “I have an ouchie… in here” pointing to his HEART IM GONNA CRY DOOOOOOF

- Perry the Platypus makes that little sound intentionally. It doesn’t mean anything. It’s just a sound. Like when I hum at people. It has no translatable meaning, just tone.

- Candace is so stubborn. But she does love her brothers. She gets so mad about the aglets thing, but with Nessy Nosie, she looks at her brother’s puppy eyes and immediately agrees to throw away the evidence she wanted. Then she meets the ACTUAL MYTHICAL MONSTER and doesn’t even care, is just stubborn about it.

- “HAHAHA, IT WORKED! Your miracle growth elixir has turned you into GIANT NERDS!”

- I do enjoy the flawless girl thing. Beauty/cosmetic thing with a whole bunch of cosmetics to make insecure teenagers feel the need to buy a whole bunch of products to look “perfect” but it’s very hyperbolized so it’s clearly visible to be bad, and I’m sensing a moral about that as well. Heck yea. As I’m typing, we’re reaching the end of the episode and yea, “you both make money off of people’s natural insecurities!” Good moral.

- “Oh, that’s our sister… our -chuckles- Big sister.” (She drank the growth elixir)

- (she shrinks back while approaching her mom) “I’m back to normal!” “Normal being a… relative term.”

- why are Baljeets parents so… the way they are. I feel so bad for Baljeet. He’s got that Smart Kid Pressure ™ and can’t escape from it. Except in that one episode… but I haven’t gotten there yet.

- “oh my gosh, the square root of soon… is never.”

- “doofenshmirtz 🎶quality 🎵bratwurst”

- “Make this fish put me down!” “It’s a mammal, Candace!”

- “Your hot dog is no match… for my BRATWURST!” (No but the way Perry just keeps a hot dog in his hat that he summoned like a wizard summons a broom) (the way they’re swordfighting and Doof just takes a bite of Perry’s blade)

-Ferb is so autism

- “You know what they say: if you love something, set it free.” “We do that every day with Perry— oh, there you are, Perry!”

@munespice @icryink

Day 15 Cringetober & Froggyfall! Yoiyocake!

(“Song lyrics” and “trick or treat”)

Fionna and cake is my everything, and as soon as I saw “trick or treat” on the frog one I immediately imagined lil frogs in a candy bucket. Adorable. ‘S what I’m here for.

I’ve just thought of a half-decent analogy to describe asexuality to allosexuals, perhaps even for aromanticism as well. It works best for sex-indifference, but I think it applies either way, so. Bear with me.

Have you ever seen a pair of mittens and immediately, instinctively, unprompted, thought about what it would feel like to wear them? What their fabric feels like? How your hands would feel inside them, what they look like on the inside? Precisely how warm they’d be? To the point where even if you’d never seen those mittens before and never see them again, you might even think about them after? No? Yea, me neither.

Imagine you’re out shopping with a group of friends and you see a lineup of mittens. Everyone’s jumping over eachother to point out, “oh, I’ve gotta wear this one,” “guys, look at this one,” “I need these” “this is totally my style” “I bet these are so comfy” and then someone looks at you, just standing there because…wtf. And they go “What about you? Which mittens do you wanna wear? C’mon, I know you want at least one!” Would you pick a pair of mittens? It seems like a relatively low stakes social interaction, they all seem to be having fun, nothing about this will truly affect the mittens at this time, you don’t have to buy anything, and there’s plenty of aesthetic criteria to base the choice on if you want. Would you pick one? I would. Many of us did.

Imagine right now, you learned a new fact that has always been true about the world and that everyone else sees as normal: 99% of people see some pair of mittens, maybe 1 in every 20, and immediately and instinctively think about wearing them, like I described earlier. They want to, they feel what’s described as a biological urge to wear those mittens. Sometimes they do, sometimes they don’t, sometimes they check out the mittens first, sometimes they just wear a pair of mittens they found on the sidewalk without knowing anything about them. Feeling this was is considered normal, and everyone has assumed you feel this way too, because this is the default. That inclination is normal, and you’re weird.

What would you think? Perhaps some level of what the fuck? But there’s no problem with wearing mittens, you guess, you just didn’t realize people actually felt that way, you thought they were exaggerating or joking around, but no. Would you struggle to believe it? Would you pretend to feel the same? What would you say the next time someone asked you about what kind of mittens you want to wear, knowing that’s what they really mean, knowing you’ve never felt that way about a pair of mittens?

People judge you now for not feeling as inclined to wear specific mittens as they do. Even some friends stick their hands in their pockets when you walk up, and stop talking about mittens at all because they don’t want to make you uncomfortable. Perhaps they act as if you don’t have hands, or insist you just haven’t found the right pair of mittens yet. For all you know, you could still find that “perfect pair” but time just keeps going and you’re clearly missing something. People accuse you of lying, laugh at you, maybe even try to shove mittens onto your hands just to show you how it feels, to “fix” you. Will you wear mittens just to appease the masses? Will you pretend to want mittens you don’t really care about? None of this makes any sense to you!

I think the analogy is pretty clear at this point, but I really want to emphasize that I’m not exaggerating here. The analogy isn’t perfect, but as far as I’ve taken it, it emotionally follows. The idea that someone could look at someone else, especially someone they don’t know, and immediately imagine them naked or want to touch them or whatever sounds just as ridiculous as someone achieving climax from wearing a pair of mittens. When people asked me who my “crush” was as a kid, like many aces and aros, I just picked a random person because I didn’t understand.

I have nothing against sex, I feel quite neutral about it and if you’re having it and enjoying it, I’m happy for you… but I just don’t care to try it. I shouldn’t have to. Just accept that I don’t care that much about the mittens.

Alright, not to kill the joke, but as a disappointed language nerd, I did a little research. All of the actual lists I could find were half-stupid, so I’ve collected my favorites from several lists. Here are English words that supposedly cannot be translated directly into other languages:

Cheesy (Not “having a lot of cheese,” the other type)

Shallow (again, the non-literal, describing a person)

Hangry (and other internet neologisms. Duh.)

Sulk (evidently, because sulking implies being broody and upset AND having a reason)

Insight (this actually fascinated me! It’s such a useful word!)

Serendipity (every list treated this like it was extremely important and we use it all the time. We don’t.)

Stuff (the noun, “a collection of things”)

Gobbledygook (…duh)

Pimp (the word every list favored even more than serendipity)

Silly (“ridiculous” translates, but “silly” has the playful, goofy, fun connotation.)

Hillbilly (understandable, I think Americans are a bit unique with the extent of our hillbillies)

Everyone’s like “those Germans have a word for everything” but English has a word for tricking someone into watching the music video for Rick Astley’s Never Gonna Give You Up.