This Cracks Me Up LMFAO

This cracks me up LMFAO

Things I've heard my (cis/het) brother say while he's been in college for the last year:

-(Heard over the phone) “I don’t care WHAT is in your pants or what you identify as, GET THE FUCKING PISS OFF THE TOILET SEAT” - “I don’t get why some men like to call themselves straight and then say they’d never date a Trans woman because honestly if you’re willing to exclude an entire subsection of women based on something so stupid you’re probably not worth their time anyways” -“I don’t know why some guys worry about gay men in the locker rooms because if I was a gay guy, even I wouldn’t date me. I’ve been wearing the same shirt for three days.“ -(Over spring break) “How the fuck do you make Kraft mac&cheese” -“What do you mean it’s written on the box– WAIT SHIT IT IS” -“I hit on a lesbian two weeks ago in the SU without knowing it and I still feel bad about it” -“I honestly think I’d prefer living with a (Trans) person at this point because if they’re even as half as cool as you then it’s got to be better than living with two 19 year old boys who have fucking competitions of who can piss farther on the ceiling” -“For some reason even in college guys don’t seem to get that the only reason I get so many girls’ numbers is because I treat them like I would treat anyone else” -“No seriously they think you have to act uninterested or like a dick for some reason” -“No I don’t know why they think hitting on a lesbian is anything but a lot of secondhand embarrassment for the rest of us” -“My roommate came into the room looking really dejected and when I asked why he said that he spent hours talking to this girl just to find out that she had a boyfriend the whole time and didn’t say anything” (And after me asking why it mattered) “I dunno, apparently he doesn’t understand the concept of friends” -(After me saying I don’t get heterosexuals sometimes) “Even I don’t understand straight guys little dude, and I am one”

He needs his fuzzy jammies, I must do this.

it’s been a long day. want to help him unwind?

I'm joining this family and I'll be the hyperactive artist sister.

Listen idk about u guys but I’m about to go full motherhen mode and adopt this bitch to give him the love and safety he deserves

Bet.

Reblog to put one of these in your mutuals’ pocket when they’re not looking

You know what I want a picture of? Junkrat.

You wanna know what picture I specifically want? Junkrat in a suit.

So now I'm going to draw Junkrat in a suit.

Among us water, among us water, among us water-

some twitter dot com shenanigans, might as well post this here too :D