Thank You So Much!!!!! It Was Definitely Really Confusing Because There Was The Undeniable Sense Of Others

thank you so much!!!!! it was definitely really confusing because there was the undeniable sense of Others there, but i (or the piece i am) has always been present to some degree/there’s never been a full switch. when i saw this one article that summarized median systems like that i was like HOLY MOLY!!!! 😭

anyways so about that singlet thing ^^’ (tw for dissociation and syscourse/system origins under the cut)

i’ve been doing some research into it and i’m pretty sure i’m median. we think we used to be a singlet until a really recent period of heavy dissociation, when the original self fractured and became us. im still kind of the “core” of the original self, but the others are the parts of him that branched off.

at first we thought i had synthesized/imagined them or that i was pretending, but things have kinda stayed this way for a while lol. i have really bad dissociative amnesia as of late so i cant honestly tell you how long it’s been like this or if there have been many signs leading up to it, but what i do know is that there’s been a distinct “we” that was separate from “i”.

according to the terms commonly used here (and i could VERY easily be mistaken!), we are probably “mixed origin”? it’s hard to say but the fracturing is a very recent development, caused by heavy dissociation due to Reasons

i’m not gonna lie i used to err on the side of caution when it came to endogenic systems, i didn’t want to assume anything as a (then?) singlet because it wasn’t and tbh still isn’t my place. but this has definitely opened my eyes and made me realize that i could very easily be seen as faking, even though i’m (most likely) not.

i’m still hesitant to call myself a system because i REALLY don’t want to if it isn’t my place to, and we only know so much about ourselves so far. we originally thought we were just aspects of the same person that got emphasized, but we understand it better that we are fragments of the consciousness of the same person. we don’t have osdd i believe, but we do have c-ptsd and the theory of secondary structural dissociation really fits us.

therefore, i think i’m going to change my dni to include anyone who’s sysmed or tries to fakeclaim others. it’s my understanding that very few people on this website are psychologists/psychologists/neuroscientists/doctors, and nobody’s experience is universal. so little is understood about plurality and the brain in general, and i don’t want to be mutuals with anyone who feels it’s their place to police other peoples’ experiences

i probably cant answer any personal questions about it right now in my/our best interest, but just know that i’m getting the help i need! i’m just hoping to find maybe anyone else who has similar experiences or is also median. i may post/rb about it more in the future

love you guys! sorry for the ooc kinda post

Im going to try to simplify a lot of things here (big word is try). Because there's a lot. We're a traumatic osdd-1b system btw!

However, being a median system varies from person to person. So keep in mind my experiences aren't fact for every median system out there.

1.) Commination & Memory

Commination for us is very limited. We mostly communicate through feelings and emotions. If you will, pure vibes.

I can hear people talk from time to time. If I really focus. Or if the situation calls for it. (Ex. Someone in front is having a hard time. And someone speaks to talk them through it.)

If I do something someone doesn't like I can feel a general vibe which then can easily translate into words. (Think like a language translator). If I fuck up someone's art piece by accident I'm gonna feel that "fuzzy talk" and understand what they're saying.

We don't have massive memory barriers. So it's easy to recall what someone did last. However, we still forget things. Sometimes someone fronts, leaves and a new person fronts. The new person fronting might not recall what they did exactly. But, have a general idea of what was leading up before they switched out.

A really good example for us is Minecraft. Person B played a shit ton, took a break, and switched out. Person A fronted, got on Minecraft and tried to figure out what the fuck they were doing. Oh, they were mining for iron. We call it "Sticky Note Memory" because we didn't completely forget, but we need to do some reading into to remember. Sometimes it's harder for other people.

2.) Fronting & Identity

Fronting isn't what most systems think it is. It isn't a snap and you're no longer fronting. Because we're a median system we never collectively consciously leave the front. We're all here. Currently, I'm just closer to the front. I am aware of my identity. Whether that because I want too or because the brain has decided I'm the favorite guy.

Fronting and switching is more of a flow. I'm slowly melting into someone else. It might take us awhile to figure out hey, I'm someone new. Sometimes we have what are called "Fillers" where there's an in-between. Sometimes people can spawn sometimes it's a temporary thing. However, we're collectively the "same person." Here's a diagram I have of our experience.

Some of us are less distinct than others. Some have more identity. 90% of us are facets. The 10% are fully formed headmates. But, still melt in with us to create our epic system. But, I can't speak for them on their experiences since I'm a facet and they're not. Whether they ID to that term is up to them.

Most of us are copied and pasted but have wildly different appearances and maybe a little something else added to it. I may act like a lotta my headmates because we're the same people. But, also very different at the same time. It's hard to explain.

Think of icecream. Icecream is icecream. It isn't a sandwich. But there are different flavors of icecream! I'm just a different flavor and texture. But still icecream.

But yeah, that's all I can think of at the moment. There's a lot more but I don't want to go overboard on this ask lol. Again, happy to answer any questions and such!!

thank you so so so much!!!!! this is really relatable for me

definitely with communication, like there’s a difference between what i imagine us doing vs what we do lmao. like i’ll want us to agree on something but the others are behind me like “…ehhhhh” my thoughts are often shared with them though, and i only hear them speaking, not thinking

AND THE FRONTING THING!!! i thought “well i’m definitely not a system because there’s no switches and i’m always here to some degree” (except that time the other day when i had a crisis because i didn’t know who i was and then snapped out of it lmao 😂) but the others tend to come and go, most often being at least a little here except for when they’re asleep

we are definitely separate but share consciousness to some degree. there’s a couple fragments that are part of others (like puzzle pieces that complete them), but we all have distinct personalities, appearances, roles etc.

again thank you!!!! like i’ve said i can only say so much for the others’ comfort and our safety, but it really means the world that there’s others out there like us :’]

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GOODNESS ME

FRIENDS! PLURALS!

This review regarding non-disordered plurality was just published September 12, 2023 - and better still, it focuses on the voices of those with lived multiplicity experiences, not just professionals' opinions & observations! (AND it's free access!)

https://onlinelibrary.wiley.com/doi/full/10.1002/cpp.2910?fbclid=PAAaYA2EcZAxCD7cDTUWhV93l1pCsh9ovJMddm5oZ8_V1-PQ7pjum3K4AxhEo

Some highlights:

...DID is characterized as having ‘two or more distinct personality states’, in addition to gaps in memory recall, which cause significant distress to the individual (Reinders & Veltman, 2021, p. 1). Comparably, multiplicity describes the experience of being more than one self and is not a diagnosis. Multiplicity is associated with a lack of distress, and impairment in functioning, and often does not involve amnesia between selves; however, some people who experience multiplicity have received a diagnosis such as DID or OSDD (Young Voices Study, 2021). Due to the heterogeneity of dissociative experiences, multiplicity can encompass various presentations as described in this review.

...prevalence rates of multiplicity-spectrum conditions are difficult to extrapolate due to limited reporting and identification, although suspected to be between 4.6% and 46% (Loewenstein, 2018). Indeed, Ross et al. (2002) acknowledged many individuals do not meet clinical criteria as a result of a lack of negative impairment; however, they do align with other descriptors of dissociative experiences. Thus, there is a need to understand the wide spectrum of experiences multiplicity encompasses to consider how an awareness of multiplicity can exist outside of an illness model, reducing stigma and thus stigma related distress surrounding multiplicity (Eve & Parry, 2021; Parry et al., 2017).

...there remains a paucity of understanding surrounding multiplicity-spectrum experiences, especially for people who identify as multiple but for whom multiple selves do not cause functional difficulties in day-to-day life. For people who experience the presence of inner multiplicity but do not suffer distressing consequences from their multiplicity experience, they can feel misaligned, misinterpreted and overlooked by the medicalization of their inner world.

The findings of this review support the notion that multiplicity experiences are complex and varied, existing across a continuum inclusive of multiplicity, DID and derealization–depersonalization (Sar, 2011).

This is huge! So cool to see these perspectives and some scientific literature surrounding non-disordered plurality!

From: red_maat on Instagram

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