I Thought Of This At 1 Am And Couldnt Get It Out Of My Head

I thought of this at 1 am and couldn’t get it out of my head

Also never heard of shading in my life

Quotes my family has said but it’s ninjago quotes

MAJOR TW FOR DARK HUMOR IN GENERAL! The quotes with these jokes have a TW but you’ve been warned

..

Jay: “I dunno man, moms are creatures scientists still have yet to learn all reasonings of.”

..

Lloyd: “I don’t see anyone else with snakes on their heads.”

Kai: “That’s because no one is as quirky and different as you.”

Lloyd: Dejected “Oh..”

Kai: “That was a compliment.”

Lloyd: “Oh!”

..

Jay: “Then you get a bowl the size of Mt. Everest.”

Cole: “It’s the size of your face.”

Jay: “It’s the size of your brain.”

Cole: “It’s the size of your ego.”

Jay: “Oh…”

..

Kai: “Don’t look in the trash can in the upstairs bathroom, there’s no evidence”

Jay: “Now I’m just gonna look in the trash can upstairs”

Goes upstairs and looks in the trash can

Jay: “No evidence huh?”

Door proceeds to shut and the sound of knuckles cracking can be heard

Jay: “Wait a second—“

..

Nya: “You can’t have more than half since fudge is too rich.”

Jay: “You can’t have the fudge it’s too expensive.”

..

Cole: “Why isn’t this a Disney movie? They sing every five minutes.”

Kai: “Cause the parents are still alive.”

A conversation while watching Rudolph the red nose reindeer

..

Jay: "it’s really muggy outside

Nya: if I go outside and all our mugs are on the front lawn I’m leaving you

Jay: *^proceeds to drink chocolate milk from a bowl^*"

..

Jay: and here’s my piggy bank

Lloyd: ooo how much moneys in there ?

Jay: none :(

Lloyd: aww… same

.. TW! Comment about weight

*Having a conversation about who’s pants were who’s*

Zane-“These are definitely yours, Cole.”

Cole-“Idk, Jay’s been putting on some weight recently.”

Jay-*Hysterical laughing* (He wasn’t being mean, it was a joke)

Zane-“This reminds me of that conversation I had with Kai.”

Jay-*More hysterical laughing*

Cole-“Zane, you might wanna get out of the house, sounds like there’s a hyena.”

Jay-*Absolutely dying from laughter*

..

Kai: “What, you got a problem with Salisbury steak?”

Lloyd: “Yes.”

Kai: “Understandable.”

..

Nya: “THATS WHAT I WAS REFERRING TO YOU OVERBAKED COOKIE”

.. TW! Mention of thr^wing up

Garmadon: “I’m winning us money.”

Lloyd: “Is it working?”

Garmadon: “Well, I won us 5 dollars.”

Lloyd: “Wow, 5 dollars, that’s enough to pay back for the lottery ticket.”

Garmadon: “…go away.”

Lloyd: “AM I WRONG?!”

Garmadon: “..I don’t like you anymore, give me back the fries.”

Lloyd: “I’ll just go and ||puke them back up||, I guess.”

..

Garmadon: “Our crappy state is the only state where the gas doesn’t pump itself; we suck.”

.. TW! Ch^king and threats

Kai: “I HOPE YOU TRIP ON A LEGO, SWALLOW IT, FALL INTO A DITCH WHILE CHOKING ROLL INTO THE OCEAN GET STUNG BY JELLYFISH GET EATEN BY A WHALE GET SPAT OUT LIE ON A HOT ABANDONED ISLAND AND DIE”

..

Jay: “I use heels cause the leg sleeves are too long.”

Cole: “..the leg sleeves?”

Jay: “Yeah.”

Cole: “YOU MEAN THE PANTS??”

.. TW! Joke about dy1ng

Lloyd: “I wanted 50 bucks for my birthday!”

Kai: “I gave you 50 bucks that you so graciously spent on icecream”

Lloyd: “WHAT BUT YOU TOLD ME TOO-“

Kai: “Happy birthday sweetheart!”

Lloyd: “If this is adult life I’d rather || d1e ||”

..

Zane: “Apollo’s kids are like disowning him and he’s standing there taking it being like, ‘What did I do to deserve this?’”

PIXAL: “You were a father.”

JUMP UP KICK BACK WHIP AROUND AND SPIN

Finale: Harley & Ivy VS. Kai & Lloyd

Random disorganized Ninjago headcanons (beware there is Hotwire ((Pixal x Kai)) stuff near the bottom)

• Kai can play electric and acoustic guitar, he’s better at acoustic guitar though due to using his dads to play for Nya when their parents disappeared

• The ninjas love languages are all bullying each other affectionately

• How they play the game chicken, Cole, Jay, and Kai will sneak into Wu’s room and will have each other drink suspicious sounding teas, first to back out/not be able to continue drinking the teas will have to take the other twos chores (they almost never get caught somehow)

• PIXAL can somehow find anything if you ask for her to search for it. When the ninja lose something, they’ll always go to her to find it.

• Zane and PIXAL have a grudge against the coffee bot (there’s no reason why, they just hate her.)

• Jay needs glasses but refuses to wear them as he thought they were a hinderance to inventing cause they’d always slip off when he was testing.

• Cole is the only one out of all the ninja that can walk through a haunted house and not scream once, scare actors do startle Zane enough to scream but Cole sorta just laughs at the others misery and forgets that he should be scared too.

• All of the ninja fear PIXAL

• Kai is the kind of person who’s really smart but shows off as lazy, impulsive, and cocky. (Think like Ranpo Edogawa or Rio Nakamura)

• Nya can beat almost every ninja in an arm wrestle (Only people she cannot beat is Cole, PIXAL and Lloyd)

• Cole, Kai, and Lloyd are aroace I don’t make the rules

• Every Friday, Cole will go to Shintaro with a gaming console and a spare tv to play video games with Vania (and even some of the guards)

• Everyone but PIXAL and Kai have fallen for scams once in their time as a ninja.

• Wu says he doesn’t have favorites, he does.

• (cough cough, it’s Cole but Zane is a close second)

• Lilly and Libby (Cole and Jay’s moms) have trained beside one another under the guidance of Wu, Lightning and earth elemental masters were born to be close friends

• Jay has microwaved a gummy pizza, a metal bowl, play dough, a plant, and a cheese stick. He was banned from using the microwave without permission

• Cole gets his poor cooking skills from his mom

• After season 11, Wu had two favorites

• (it’s cole and Pixal, Zane is still a really close second)

• Nya and Zane trust Lloyd to be in charge more then any other ninja when they’re gone

• Kai and PIXAL bicker a lot and about anything and everything.

• These arguments almost always end in Nya and Zane having to separate the two by force with them screaming at each other

• “THE ANSWER IS ONE YOU IGNORANT TOASTER!” “THE ANSWER IS SIXTEEN YOU BURNT HOT POCKET!” As Zane and Nya drag the two of them away in opposite directions

• Zane has a detector to tell when the ninjas bickering is gonna turn into property damage.

• Jay and Lloyd team up to prank the other ninja, the only ones they haven’t been able to get yet as a duo was PIXAL and Kai (PIXAL cause they don’t dare to mess with her and Kai because he saw through Lloyd and Jay’s pranking habits when they first met and has been able to avoid them since then)

• Because I am a ruthless Hotwire shipper, PIXAL and Kai tend to fall asleep next to each other on long road trips or after tiring missions and yes they lean on one another, yes the other ninja have taken photos.

Silly ninjago headcanon

After the island, every now and again the ninja will get backlash from the purple lightning just like twitchy. It doesn’t happen often. Like maybe once or twice every two months.

They’ll be having a conversation and then lightning spews around them and they completely forget what they were talking about.

This has led to pretty awkward moments. One time Jay and Cole were playing a video game and Jay was losing badly but Cole suddenly had a spike (what they ended up calling it) and completely forgot what he was doing.

Another time Jay and Nya were talking about plans for their next date but Jay gets a spike and just starts the conversation all over again, much to Nya’s dismay.

PIXAL has dates marked for the most likely time a ninja will get a spike. She may or may not have pranked the ninja when they forget a conversation and she tells them something completely different from the conversation they were having.