JUNGKOOK For DAZED Magazine

JUNGKOOK for DAZED magazine

JUST JUNGKOOK GETTING OUT OF THE SHOWER

how could he be this charming~

long long time

note. i’ve been watching daisy jones & the six. camila has my heart. you could say this is inspired by her. to be honest, i wish to write some fluff. but i don’t know when that will be. so for now, enjoy the pain.

She misses the simple times.

The simple times he’d take her out to see the ocean or eat strawberries with cream. Those times when she’d catch a glimpse of a smile on his face. Even when she knew he wasn’t hers to keep she still felt that they shared too many beautiful memories together.

He’s out there with his band and his music. She rarely gets to see him these days. But he calls every night. Though she knows he may come to love her, she has no hope.

Love is too precious to be wasted on him. Yet she yearns for it anyway. She doesn’t think of the others who he sleeps with. The others who keep him company when she’s not there.

The last thing she needs is to torment herself with those thoughts. Maybe in a perfect world or in a perfect life, she’d meet a man who would only ever belong to her.

The perfect man. She thinks there’s no such thing. A man who is true to his feelings and his woman.

She knows he’s not perfect. But she’s okay with a man like him.

She knows she may not be his only lover, but she’s his only muse. He writes her songs and sings them to her. There’s nothing more she wishes to have. If he’s by her side, what more could she want?

The days go by and she keeps waiting to hear him say, “It’s over darling.”

Will that day ever come? When he comes to his senses and realizes he’s messed with her too much. Will he ever leave her?

She envisions the pain and the heartache that might come.

But for now, she will hear him sing. She will hear him speak and complain. She will hear it all and endure the hurt. She knows the last thing she will ever hear is,

“I love you.”

Today and tomorrow. She knows she will love him for a long long time.

let me in

genre. angst.

summary. jungkook is in denial. he knows you’re gone but he still hopes he’ll see you. even if it is in the eyes of another woman. even if it is against his own will. 

warnings. mentions of nausea and death. use of cuss words. suicidal thoughts.

note. wtf did i just write? please let me know if i should write a part two. 

The boy cried as his life was stripped away. 

A lit candle in the middle of the woods, then a moment of silence passed and the flame was put out. The quiet of the night pulled the boy into a deep slumber. Death frowned upon him and with one cold whisper, it was gone. But the boy remained in the middle of the woods.

“Jungkook.”

The whisper of his name awoke him. 

Nightmares had devoured his soul. As soon as he closed his eyes, he’d see the same vision of the dead boy in the woods. The same eyes welcomed him with despair and a cry for help. But he could only ever witness the tragedy. Never could he save him.

“Thank the heavens you’re ok!”

His vision was blurry, but he could still see the face of the woman standing near his bed. The realization that it wasn’t you dawned on him. If he closed his eyes, would he see you instead of her?

“Jungkook our parents are waiting for us outside. They have everything ready. We just need to sign the papers.”

The minute he awoke, he felt uneasy. He knew that instant that he was sick. The pain in his stomach distracted him from the voice of the woman. He quickly sat up and looked down at the floor. But when she spoke those words, he couldn’t hold himself any longer.

The urge was much stronger than him. Before he could run off to the bathroom, he threw up on the floor. The hot liquid burned his mouth and he couldn’t breathe. When he knew it was over, he ran off to the bathroom like his life depended on it.

He heard her scream his name.

The events of yesterday replayed in his head. His parents were making arrangements for a marriage he never consented to. All of it was planned so he could move on from you.

But he swore he’d never leave you.

Once he was inside the bathroom, he rushed over to the sink and washed his mouth. Even looking at himself made him sick so he avoided staring at the mirror in front of him. He was busy cleaning himself, but he still felt his throat burning like he was bleeding from a deep painful cut.

He heard voices and footsteps coming near the door. 

“Is he ok?”

“No, I think he’s sick again.”

“Maybe it’s not a good idea, we should let him be.”

“No! This boy needs to forget about her.”

“You really think he’ll forget if he marries?”

They whispered to each other, clearly thinking he wouldn’t hear them. 

Every day was the same. He’d spend every minute crying over you and then sleeping. Sometimes without thinking, he’d leave the house and walk to the river near your home. He’d swim while wondering if you were there with him.

But today was different.

Today he tried to drown himself. He allowed the water to devour his body. He urged death to touch him. To call him to rot completely in oblivion.

He was this close to the sweet slumber of death, but his parents found him. They saved him once. They didn’t have to save him twice. He didn’t need saving. He needed you.

The rest of his life would be hell.

If you weren’t there, what could he possibly do? The logical thing was to please his parents for his own sake. 

They would never leave him. Not until he signed the fucking papers. Not until he was at the altar marrying this woman he didn’t even know. What was her name? He had nothing to lose, but nothing to gain either.

Except if he tried real hard, he’d be able to see a glimpse of you through her. Maybe.

Maybe.

Fuck. He was sick.

Gathering himself, he stood up and opened the door slowly. He was glad that his parents were not there anymore. But the woman he was supposed to marry was sitting on the floor crying silently. If he wasn’t in love, maybe he’d try to fall for her.

But you were his love. The only woman for him.

He had to remind himself of that.

“Please be honest. You don’t want this, right?”

She stared at him with bitterness in her eyes. Like she was angry at him. But he didn’t quite understand her. It wasn’t his fault. None of this was.

Instead of responding, he kept thinking of the miserable life that awaited him.

“I know you still love her, but I don’t care. Please marry me. Please love me.”

Jungkook couldn’t feel his body anymore, but he walked over to her anyway. She stood up immediately when he was finally near her. When he was so close to her, she could touch his face with both hands. He felt like throwing up again, but he reminded himself that soon everything would be over.

He knew it was hard to act like everything was fine.

He knew it was hard to lie. 

Never once did he lie to you.

To become a liar, he would have to leave himself behind.

“Let me in.”

Jungkook smiled while she held his face. The moment she saw his pretty smile, she hugged him tightly like she was afraid he’d leave for good. When he separated from her, she waited for him to speak.

And so he did. He spoke the words that were never meant for her.

“Go tell them..go tell them we’re getting married.”

She couldn’t hide the joy that was spreading in her. It was so evident that she was happy. He almost felt a little bad. But the moment she turned away from him, he allowed the tears he was holding to spill down his cheeks.

At that moment, he wanted nothing more than to die.

when the moon rises

It’s 6 pm.

Concern laces your features as you flip through the study guide one of your peers lent you. The man, Jimin claimed that these papers would help you finish well. The end of the semester was approaching and next week would be quite eventful. The last week of college, when all finals would take place.

The classes you take, well they aren’t too hard. There’s just one class that you wish you hadn’t taken for your first semester of senior year. Oh well. Everyone makes mistakes.

The night is approaching and you wish you had more time. But you want to leave as soon as the moon rises. As soon as the moon is out and you can see its beautiful light. As soon as this happens, you will go find the person you most adore.

The library is quiet, but you think there might be a better place to study. Only you might find it hard to occupy your time reading and taking practice tests if you go there. Your focus would be on the handsome owner of the small bookshop near the city.

The walk to get there would take about 20 minutes, but you didn’t mind.

Not at all.

The whole time you’re walking, you’re thinking of the book you want to discuss with him. He recommended Frankenstein to you. You were reluctant to read it at first, but you gave it a chance. Especially because he suggested you would enjoy it.

The book was good. But it left you a little sad. You hoped he would recommend something completely different. Maybe a book to pass the time.

Finally, you arrive in front of the bookshop. The name of it displayed on the mirror reflects the moon adorning the sky. Magic Shop. Once you asked him why he chose this name for the shop. He didn’t give an answer at first.

But he eventually gave in to your whining.

“I don’t know. Maybe because many people come here to find some comfort. Like you.”

The moment he said this, you wondered if he knew why you came here every time the moon rose out to decorate the night sky. 

The moon. Before you two met, you swore there was nothing more beautiful than the moon. Now you know his eyes are more beautiful.

You interrupt your own thoughts and rush inside the shop. The night was finally here and you felt a sprinkle of water. Was it going to rain? Hopefully not.

When you step inside, he is there organizing a few bookshelves. He doesn’t hear you come in, earbuds in both ears. Only when you get closer does he notice your presence. “Oh hey.” He says this with a smile on his face. He’s happy to see you.

He stands up from his spot and removes both earbuds from his ears. “You are late.”

“I’m sorry Jungkook.”

The boy gives you this look, the kind of look he gives you when he’s been reminded of something. Sometimes it’s something stupid. Like when he forgets where he put the keys to close the shop. Or when he forgets that he boiled water for coffee.

“Wait here.” He quickly walks over to the checkout counter. His hands search for something and your curiosity grows. They reach for something, a piece of paper that’s been crumbled.

“You know Taehyung? The good-looking guy that’s always looking at books but never buys any.” The name is unfamiliar to you. But you do remember this man who always came to the shop. He never bought a book and you wondered if maybe he just liked to look at them.

But he could just go to the library.

“Yes, I do remember him. But why does it-”

Jungkook walks over to where you stand and hands you the paper. “Well, now we know why he likes this shop so much.” He smiles, but his smile doesn’t reach his eyes. The crumbled paper is now in your hand and you are confused. But you open it anyway.

It read the following.

I like you. Sorry for not coming to you. Please call me.

There was a phone number under these words. You look up at him. “He comes here because he likes you?” Jungkook starts laughing the moment you say this. His eyes crinkle a bit like they always do when he laughs. He can’t meet your gaze because he swears he won’t be able to stop laughing.

He stops when you continue to stare at him in confusion.

“No stupid. He likes you.”

Oh.

Oh.

“But why? He doesn’t know me.” Taehyung never spoke a word with you. You were beyond confused. But also concerned for him. He thought it was better to leave a note than to speak to you. What kind of guy does that?

He smiles at you. “I guess he liked you the very moment he saw you.” The silence that follows after concerns you. But you can’t seem to find any words to say. Jungkook is trying to decipher what it is you are feeling.

“The poor paper is in such a bad state. Why is it so crumbled?”

Jungkook’s eyes widen a bit. “Well, I was debating whether I should give it to you or throw it away.” He doesn’t dare look at you after confessing this. You wanted to know why he wanted to discard the paper.

“Why? He gave it to you so you could give it to me. Were you really going to throw it away? That’s not very nice of you.”

He looks like he wants the ground to swallow him. “No no. I just felt a bit jealous. But I didn’t let it get the best of me.” He felt jealous. No way.

“Jealous? I’m not your girlfriend Jungkook.”

“But you could be.” He meets your eyes and his face looks pretty serious. He’s not joking or flirting for no reason. Sometimes the two of you flirt with each other. But just for fun. Silly things friends do. Though there’s nothing silly about this.

“Jungkook-”

He cuts you off.

“Look I know you like me too.”

You are going to lose your mind.

“I know this because you come here every night.”

Shit. He knew.

“I thought you just wanted to be my friend. But the looks you give the group of girls that come late at night with the excuse that they just want to read some books say something else. You can see right through them and I can too. We’re not oblivious to these people and their intentions. But it appears that you are oblivious to mine.”

He closes the distance between the two of you.

“Kindness only goes so far. I don’t have long conversations with most of my customers. I don’t ask them about their personal lives. I only took interest in you. Y/n we like each other so let’s stop pretending.”

You feel overwhelmed. But the good kind of overwhelmed. When you are feeling so many emotions, you can’t quite understand yourself. You kind of hate yourself for not realizing his feelings sooner. But you also blame him.

“Okay, maybe I was a little oblivious. But you! You never said anything, so I never did either. If someone’s at fault, it’s both of us.”

Jungkook smiles and nods his head. Your words are nothing but true. This confession causes an ache in your heart. How much time have you wasted? But there was no point in regretting the past. The future didn’t look so bad now.

You are lost in your thoughts and he uses this as an opportunity to kiss you. He kisses you gently with both of his hands cupping your face. The kiss doesn’t last very long. But the feel of his lips on yours consumes you with euphoria.

When Jungkook stops kissing you, he places a kiss on your forehead. Then he holds you in his arms for a while. At this moment, you’re so happy you could die in his arms. The warmth holds you close and you wish to stay with him like this forever.

But then he parts from you. He smiles and his eyes do the same. You’re about to ask him if you guys are dating now when he reads your mind. “Now my dear girlfriend. Tell me about the book. Did you like it? How about a cup of coffee?”

You smile. Forget the stupid finals. Tonight you were going to focus on Jungkook only.

notes. i wrote this one pretty quickly. it’s a simple story and it’s quite long compared to other drabbles. but i wouldn’t call this a oneshot. i hope you guys liked it as much as i did. thanks for taking the time to read this! enjoy <3