How Could He Be This Charming~

how could he be this charming~

JUNGKOOK for DAZED magazine

saturn

The rain poured on me, but I didn’t care. I rushed through the crowds of people, screaming her name because it was all I could do. Voice out my frustrations because she was leaving me. Voice out those demons that wanted to burst out of me. 

I tried to hold onto her, but she pushed me away. She looked at me with cold eyes and tears that were starting to form in the corners of her eyes. She turned away from me, leaving me in a state of pain that even I couldn’t understand. 

Then her voice and words from that letter came back to me.

The flowers in my garden are starting to wither away. One by one, soon enough they will all be gone. I won’t tend to those flowers any longer. Just like I won’t tend to our relationship either.

Priorities to you are your family and the children you will have one day. I heard she’s pregnant and it’s unfortunate how I didn’t hear it from you. Must be nice to have a dream of yours come true. Even if it’s not with me. It hurts, but it’ll hurt more if I stay.

Remember the nights you were in my bed. Those nights will remain precious to me till my last breath on this earth. On this planet where I met you. A man with a wife and an unborn child. Maybe on another planet, maybe on Saturn live the children we never had. Maybe on Pluto screams of love can still be heard. Maybe on the moon we both scream alone begging for forgiveness. 

Last night, after you drifted to sleep, I pondered what our lives would have been like if I had met you earlier. If I had met you before you married, would you have fallen for me? These questions will be left unanswered. The love that screams your name within me will stay. But you, my lover will fade away. 

Treasure our memories like I’ll treasure your face. I know you don’t love her, but one day the feelings you have for me will be shared with her. Your tears will disappear and be replaced with smiles and laughter. This child you will have one day will remind you of why you are alive. To be loved and to love.

It’s tragic that you won’t love me. But know this Jungkook, you will always be loved by me. 

Remembering those words, god it’s so painful to exist. To exist in a world where my life does not depend on me. Where I have responsibilities and places I have to be. Because if I could choose where to be, I would choose you in a heartbeat.

notes. this drabble was inspired by the song, Saturno by Pablo Alboran. it doesn’t give the same vibes as the song, but i like the end result. i did use a few lyrics from the song, the words that are bolded are the ones i used. i think overall this is a good piece of work. i mean it could be better, but i like it the way it is. i hope you will like it too. also, i think this video goes pretty well with this. enjoy!

i’m here for you

[3:00 am]

hey i know you’re not doing well. i know you are struggling with life and you feel like a failure. but you know i’m here for you, right? i’m here to stay and make you feel better. but you need to realize that you need to put yourself first. if your parents are forcing you to do this and that, ignore them. do what makes you happy. we only live once. i want to see you happy. i want to see you achieving all your dreams. no matter how small they are, i’m sure you can make them true. and i’ll be there with you. just trust me and trust yourself. ignore the people that call you names or hurt you. yes you can’t escape from the pain. but if you can work through it, there is nothing that can stop you. not even i could stop you from being happy. so go, go do what you want to do and don’t look back! oh and remember that i love you <3

delivered

i swear i love you

note. i wanted to write something longer but i didn’t have the time to do so. i got a little sad and i guess i expressed it a little through this. even i felt an ache when i read this. interpret this in whatever way you want and take care <3

The clouds drift slowly as the night comes.

The glow of the moon reflects on the window.

Keeping a smile on your face, you repeat to yourself the comforting words of yesterday.

Comforting words whispered in the darkness of your room.

Whispers of promises that were bound to be broken.

His eyes and mouth were kept on you throughout the night.

Limbs tangled and warmth wrapped around you.

Love that can’t be forgotten.

Even now that you wait for him.

Even now you are sure this dream will come to an end.

All the good that comes goes.

So when he finally comes home to you with guilt in his eyes.

You allow yourself to believe his words for a little longer.

“I swear I love you.”

JUNGKOOK FOR CALVIN KLEIN