Cutesynightmare

Story of my f*cking life!!!!!!

The worst part about being autistic is the way everyone assumes you just have the worst intentions possible with everything you say. I don't understand these rules, I'm not trying to be rude. I'm not trying to send any secret fucking convoluted ass code telling people around me I hate them. It fucking sucks that I can't hold down a job because people think I'm just an asshole. And I don't even know what the hell it was that made them think that half the time.

I say what I mean and I mean what I say but that's a nonsensical ridiculous concept to most people ever it seems.

I've challenged myself to do no body checks in October. It's so hard! 😩

I wish I could let myself have a guilt-free (hah!) cheat day every once in a while just to let off some steam and get some of my crazy junk food cravings out of my system. Rationally I know one day every 2 or 3 weeks won't make me fat. The problem is, as a past binge eater, I know how easily a cheat "day" can turn into a cheat week, or even a cheat month. It's all or nothing with me. 😖

Ugh, just thinking about it is making me want to go exercise (again). Why can't I just be normal??