Damn It Jim I'm A Doctor Not A Old Western Cowboy That's About To Get Hanged For Murderwait What-

Damn it Jim I'm a doctor not a old western cowboy that's about to get hanged for murder…wait what-

( The username at the end is my tiktok. )

Ostaran

Thank you @stellarbluegalaxy for the name idea!

The species I was talking about last night is named! Behold!!

Ostaran are like Vulcans, basically only in that they are descended from an animal and retain certain vestigial traits from their predecessors. Much like a group of bunnies, one may also refer to a group of Ostaran as a fluffle. Ostaran is both singular and plural, “they are an Ostaran,” and “they are all Ostaran,” both correct. Ostaran are typically shy, but usually very happy as well. Easily frustrated and with a tendency towards foot tapping when angry/frustrated/impatient.

An example of what one might look like, ~I used pixlr to AI generate this image cause I can’t draw, I might try though because I wanna put one in a Starfleet uniform~

Sounds

Clucking- much like real bunnies, Ostaran are prone to making a very quiet clucking sound when happy with their food.

Purring- just like cats, bunnies purr, and so do Ostaran.

Humming- All bunnies hum, but this sound is most often made by a male bunnie attempting to woo a female- apply previous information to Ostaran.

Growling and snorting- Bunnies growl and/or snort when they feel threatened- Ostaran don’t growl so much as make an intense huffing sound through their nose when threatened.

Hissing- Bunnies hiss to keep away other bunnies- Ostaran don’t hiss at other species nearly as much as they hiss at each other (it’s kind of a territory thing), but if an Ostaran does hiss at you and you aren’t one… I’d get out, I’d get out now.

whining and whimpering- Bunnies mostly whine when unhappy with their environment or when uninterested/unhappy with a male’s advances- Same applies to Ostaran

Teeth grinding- bunnies grind their teeth when in pain- Ostaran will do this as well, but their teeth do not grow nearly so fast, so they have to be in a lot of pain to grind their teeth.

Screaming- Bunnies scream when being chased by a predator or when dying- Ostaran don’t scream while dying unless it’s a particularly gruesome death. They don’t tend to scream when scared, they just run really fast, you would have to scare an Ostaran really bad to make them scream. It’s never a false alarm when an Ostaran screams. It’s very alarming because much like bunnies, no matter how old an Ostarsn is their screams sound just like that of a small child.

Physical attributes

It’s sort a dice roll whether or not an Ostaran gets the classic bunny ears, the chances are higher that they get normal human ears, the bunny ears are like green/blue eyes for Ostaran, it happens and it’s not uncommon, it’s just not the most likely.

Much less likely though is the tail, some Ostaran still have them, but most don’t, it’s a point of envy because it’s definitely a valued trait.

Aside from that Ostaran tend to have small, round, very boopable noses (please do not boop the snoot without permission, they do not appreciate it)

Behaviours

Ear twitching- they have really good ears, if they start twitching it’s because they hear a startling sound (even if you don’t hear it)

Forehead to forehead- you know that scene in the Peter Rabbit movie where she’s like “That’s how they apologise”, I have no idea if it’s true of bunnies, but it is a Ostaran custom, the longer they hold you there the more sorry they are (If a Ostaran tries to do this please accept, they’re really sorry)

Nesting- mostly a female thing, do not touch, move or in any way disturb the nest ( it can be very distressing). Do not enter the nest unless invited, know that you are highly trusted if invited.

Not full blown a/b/o, but they definitely do the scenting thing and have highly sensitive noses. So I guess it’s less a/b/o and more that they’re smell oriented.

Hugs- if a Ostaran allows you to/wants you to hug them, they are okay with smelling like you (feel special, they mostly don’t want to smell like others unless they’re really comfortable with them)

Highly ticklish (please don’t tickle them unless you know they’re okay with it, they are not opposed to biting you for it)

Random Bonus

Humans are weird with their fashion, but it works the Ostaran advantage, they’ll totally cut holes in hats and hoods and thread their ears (if they have them) through to fit in, most humans don’t even know the difference. Silly humans

and that’s my presentation on a made up species

I Don’t Know Where My Spleen Is

Jim Kirk x gn!reader

⚠️: I don’t think there are any

~at this point it’s just my goal to find concerning titles~ word count: 355

It was shore leave, one of the few that you genuinely got to have without fighting some alien or being invaded by tribbles for. For god only knows what reason, the crew (and by crew I mean Kirk) decided that it would be fun for the crew and officers to try American football 🏈. So far it’s caused a lot of injuries, a headache for Bones, and the current situation. ——— “You’re crushing my spleen!” Kirk shouted as I had an elbow in his ribs and was trying to pry the ball away from him. “Oh come on, Captain!” I tried prying a little harder before continuing, “you don’t even know where your spleen is, there’s no way you would know if I were crushing it” I said through gritted teeth. “You’re right” he said before flipping me over and getting up, “I don’t know where my spleen is” just as he was about to run I grabbed him by the ankle and he fell face first (this had to be against the rules, but I don’t think we’re really playing by the rules anymore). Bones could be seen standing on the sideline and shaking his head. I climbed up over Jim so we were face to face. I smiled at him (he should have known I was planning something right then) I leaned in and began kissing him. I could hear a chorus of disgusted groans and sighs from all around the field, “Get a room!” Scotty shouted from one end of the field. I slowly worked my hands around to Jim’s sides. I snatched the ball and ran. Meanwhile behind me, Jim was still laying on the ground, dazed over and staring up at the sky. “Alright, Jim, I think that’s game over for you” Bones said as he helped Jim off the ground and onto the bleachers. I blew Jim a kiss from the end zone and he blushed, just before I got tackled to the ground by Nyota. “Serves you for making out during the game” she playfully chastised before sprinting to the other end of the field with the ball.

Lestraude from BBC Sherlock please!

Please reblog for a larger sample size.

Spock fluff alphabet

A = Attractive (What do they find attractive about the other?

Not to be weird, but your face, he just enjoys how expressive it is. When you laugh, smile, sigh in irritation, roll your eyes, or yawn. All of it, he just thinks you’re an adorable human 😍🥰.

B = Baby (Do they want a family? Why/Why not?)

Not at the moment. He only wants one if it seems practical for the current situation. He loves you, but he’s still hyper-logical. He’s not itching to have kids either, so if you don’t want them he doesn’t mind.

C = Cuddle (How do they cuddle?)

He’s not really a cuddler himself, but he understands why physical affection is important to you so he won’t stop you from being affectionate. He’ll definitely reach for your hand though if he starts having uneasy feelings (not that he’ll admit to having feelings most of the time). He’ll never stop you from touching him, but he is a bit hesitant to initiate contact.

D = Dates (What are dates with them like?)

Doesn’t really do dates, but does teach you to play the Vulcan harp. He mostly does it as an excuse for you to sit in his lap 💚😳💚

E = Everything (You are my ____ (e.g. my life, my world…))

Reason. He says that you are his Reason, not like his reason to live, but like his reason, his logic. Highest compliment honestly, he will turn bright green if you mention it.

F = Feelings (When did they know they were in love?)

Basically instantly, or at least there’s an instant attraction. You just radiate this energy that’s unlike anything he’s ever encountered. At first he tries to convince himself that it’s just curiosity and nothing else.

G = Gentle (Are they gentle? If so, how?)

Incredibly, you know until he’s not. He tries to be aware of your feelings and such, but he does have a knack for accidentally hurting people’s feelings with his blatant honesty.

H = Hands (How do they like to hold hands?)

Nervously and with your fingers interlaced . It’s a bit of a nervous habit for him. It could also be that he feels that either he or you are being threatened.

I = Impression (What was their first impression?)

He’s absolutely enthralled. The way you carry yourself and the way you act, it’s like no one is watching, or maybe that you know everyone is but it doesn’t matter to you. He can’t believe the confidence.

J = Jealousy (Do they get jealous easily?)

He sees jealousy as illogical as long as he can tell you care for him still. Although he will get a little fidgety if other people touch your hands.

K = Kiss (How do they kiss? Who initiated the first kiss?)

Rarely, but when he does it’s full of feeling. When he kisses he means it and it’s the only thing he’s focused on. He makes an experience of it, it’s not just a passing thing he does.

L = Love (Who says ‘I love you’ first?)

He does because he does. It’s true so why wouldn’t he say it, it’s one of the times when his blatant honesty comes in handy.

M = Memory (What’s their favourite memory together?)

He loves just to have you around, so his favourite memory is probably the first time you asked if you could spend the night in his quarters. You just couldn’t sleep so he read to you some before you curled into him and fell asleep.

N = Nickel (Do they spoil? Do they buy the person they love everything?)

No, not only does he not see the point in it, but it would also take up a lot of space that neither of you really has in your quarters. Although, on occasion if he sees you eyeing something he’ll buy it for you when you aren’t looking and gift it to you a bit later.

O = Orange (What colour reminds them of their other half?)

It’s pink, that same shade of muted pink that can be seen under your fingernails. It’s because (at first unintentionally, but now on purpose) you always seem to find a way to be fiddling with his or your hands, almost entirely because you know it’ll make him a little fidgety too.

P = Pet names (What pet names do they use?)

Definitely uses T’hy’la quite often, but also uses Darling (almost overly annunciates the whole word). Although he probably just calls you by your name or rank when in public, unless provoked by jealousy

Q = Quaint (What is their favourite non-modern thing?)

Books, but also sheet music, I think the two kind of go together. He’ll read to you from whatever newly acquired book he’s got at the moment. While he’s something of an organised person, I also see him leaving books and sheet music just scattered about his quarters, but in an aesthetic way (🤷‍♀️)

R = Rainy Day (What do they like to do on a rainy day?)

He’s either going to spend that day reading or you’re going to find him playing some dreadfully melancholic tune on his harp (I don’t make the rules).

S = Sad (How do they cheer themselves/others up?)

Will list every reason why it is currently illogical to be sad. If that doesn’t work, as it usually doesn’t, then you can hug him until you feel better. He’s not the best hugger, but he’s really good at letting you hug him.

T = Talking (What do they like to talk about?)

He is really more of a listener, but if you ask him a question with an answer that he knows anything about, he’s a lecturer, will talk for hours about why this button does that.

U = Unencumbered (What helps them relax?)

Probably talking, but not with a purpose. He likes the kind of conversation where you’re talking about everything and nothing, sometimes you’ll stop talking for a few minutes and it’ll just be silent, but then you’ll pick up again like you didn’t stop having the conversation.

V = Vaunt (What do they like to show off? What are they proud of?)

Honestly, I don’t think that he’s super into himself (if that makes sense, like he generally has good self worth, but he’s not very interested in himself, I dunno) point in case it’s you. He’ll go around the Enterprise doing the Vulcan equivalent of “Look what my SO did/made!”

W = Wedding (When, how, where do they propose?)

You’re probably alone, he’ll preface with how it’s not really important to him, but he understands that the tradition is important to humans sometimes, and then he’ll just flatly ask if you like to marry him.

X = Xylophone (what’s their favourite song?)

I have other ideas, but ever since reading this fic, I think it might be

I just can’t stop thinking about it, leave me alone. I have this entire playlist of Spock type music if anyone cares to have a look. Y = Yes (Do they ever think of getting married/proposing?)

Sort of, sometimes, but mostly he focuses on what needs doing right now. It is a thought has frequently though when he’s finally got time to himself.

Z = Zebra (If they wanted a pet, what would they get?)

He doesn’t really see the point in having a pet. If you want one though he’ll be okay with pretty much anything that isn’t reptilian. Probably ends up with a cat that he won’t admit he loves.

I LoVe them!!! 💚💛💚💛🥹

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