Sirius: James? Can I Ask You A Question?

Sirius: James? Can I ask you a question?

James: What is it Sirius?

Sirius: It's kind of an emergency question...

James: What is it Sirius???

Sirius: Well...imagine if you'd bought a baby hippogriff, where would you accomodate it?

James:

James: Please tell me that's a joke and that you didn't-

*Sirius opens wardrobe door*

Sirius: It was kind of an impulse buy. His name is Buckbeak...

Fanfiction time: Salems Legacy

*~*~*~* hey, this is part of a fanfiction i wrote (english is not my mothertongue, so sorry for any mistakes) hope you like it though Cleo is my own character and the setting is approximately 5th grade, gryffindor common room ;) *~*~*~*

Quickly Cleo pulled the Sweater over her head, she was in quite a hurry since she agreed to meet the Marauders at 10 o’clock. That was 15 minutes ago. So, as always, she was running late. Hopefully the guys would leave her head where it belongs!

She rushed out the door and stumbled down the stairs to the Gryffindor Common Room.

‘Sorry! I overslept!’, she gasped, stopping slithering right in front of the cozy sitting area next to the fire place.

She took a proper look at her friends.

‘Where is Sirius?’, she asked.

Only seconds later the thought came to her mind, that this was the most redundant question she could’ve probably asked.

‘He’s busy’, said Remus, glancing up from his book. He rolled his eyes and pointed in the direction of the boys’ dormitory.

‘Won’t take much time though.’, James smiled. Without even raising his eyes from the game of wizard’s chess he was playing with Peter, he raised his hand to high five Remus.

‘Are you kidding me?!’, Cleo bursted out, ‘I hurry like a Billywig and Mister ‘Look-at-my-fluffy-hair’ is about to get it on with some random girl!’

She turned on her heels and headed furiously for the staircase.

‘Uhm, Cleo? What are you up to?’, asked James hesistantly.

‘What does it look like?’, she answered his question with a question.

‘It looks like you’re about to burst into our dormitory and’

‘Exactly!’, she responded.

He tried to hold her off: ‘But Cleo, there is a girl with Sirius and’

‘Not for much longer!’, she explained ascending the stairs.

Her screaming ‘BLACK!’, when she pushed open the dormitory door, could be heard up to the common room.

Caught off-guard Sirius slided away from the girl below him and looked at Cleo in disbelief. Timidly the girl - some fourth grader from Ravenclaw - pulled up the blanket over her bare chest.

‘Cleo?! What are you doing here? I am kinda involved in something here!’, he asked stunned.

Cleo snorted angrily: ‘It’s not like I have never seen that before!’

She picked up a short, pink dress from the floor and threw it in the girls face.

‘You! Get out!’, Cleo adressed Sirius’ bed bunny.

The girl flinched, when Cleo snapped at her, she murmured something sounding like ‘not my dress’, but when Cleo darted her another angry glance she jumped into the dress and rushed out of the dormitory.

The redheaded girl approached Sirius, who was still lying on his bed in disbelief, only dressed in boxershorts.

‘Come along now!’, she snarled, grabbed his ear and trailed her friend behind.

‘Ouch, Cleo! Stop that!’, Sirius complained, reaching out for some trousers and a shirt, which he tried to put on.

Cleo did not let go of his ear until they reached the common room - forcing Sirius in quite an uncomfortable position, since he was at least taller by a head.

He was finally able to get dressed properly, darting threatening looks at the smaller girl.

‘By Merlin’s pink knickers! I would kill to have a camera right now!’, James exclaimed open-mouthed.

‘Cleo, a moment ago a girl rushed out of the room appearing quite ashamed. You don’t happen to have anything to do with that incident, do you?’, Remus asked raising an eyebrow.

‘I have no idea, what you are referring to!’, she smiled innocently.

‘Guys? Please remind me to never piss off Cleo when she’s not fed yet!’, squeaked Peter.

‘Why did you do that?’, Sirius demanded to know, facing Cleo.

‘I picked you up for our appointment’, she replied smiling hypocritical.

‘I was getting it on up there?’

‘The only thing you’re getting on is my tits! I was simply rescueing an innocent girl from your clutches and spared her a broken heart and the biggest disappointment of her life!’, she replied.

‘What do you mean by ‘disappointment’?!’, Sirius chased it up.

‘Well, the poor girl shouldn’t have to think that sex is always like that…’, she responded with a shrug.

‘You mean, as breathtaking?’, he asked with a smirk.

‘Oh sweetheart’, Cleo said, petting his cheek, ‘sorry to tell you, but you’re not as half a good lay as you think you are.’

Sirius shoved away her hand indignantly: ‘How would you know?’

‘Girls discuss such things, Sirius’, she smiled.

‘But you’re not a girl! Most of the time you’re more of a boy than Sirius!’, James interfered in their dispute. Up until now, their three friends were just lounging in the armchairs smiling from time to time amused about Sirius’ and Cleos argument.

‘Pardon me, please?!’, Sirius faced his best friend shaking his head in disbelief.

‘Sirius is right!’, Cleo suddenly agreed with him, ‘That is our fight! Stay out of it, James!’

Sirius nodded Cleo’s approval.

James looked at Remus and Peter in confusion.

Remus sighed: ‘I think I need something to eat now!’

‘Great idea!’, Cleo agreed.

‘Uh, breakfast!’, Sirius smiled with shining eyes.

Arm in arm the two followed Remus out of the common room.

‘Aren’t you joining us?’, Cleo asked turning around to Peter and James, which hadn’t moved an inch.

‘Your relationship will forever remain a mystery to me!’, James said shaking his head, ‘You’re about to bite each other’s head off and in the blink of an eye you’re back to being best friends, strolling Hogwarts’ corridors together.’

‘Well, Jamsie’, Cleo sighed, letting go of Sirius and pulling James between them, ‘Sirius is just like the brother that I never wanted, but it’s just too much fun to disagree with each other, that we could pretend to be best friends for the whole time.’

Sirius smiled agreeingly.

‘You two are by far the weirdest couple that I have ever happened tp know!’, James murmured, leaving them to themselves and joining up with Remus and Peter.

Cleo and Sirius stopped, looking at each other taken aback.

‘We’re not a couple!’, they protested consensual.

The unbearable joy of gardening, it could be worse...

So I was getting some serious gardening done today with my brother. I don’t think there are any people who have less knowledge of plants than we do (he once managed to mould cacti, I always withered them...). So we were clearing of weeds from the herb bed, each time we found something that was not obviously grass we asked: ‘What is this? Do you know this? Is it a flower? Is it some herbal-thingy? Can you eat it? Or can I just throw it away because it’s some weeds?’ Each time the answer was: ‘I have no idea. Probably weeds. It has no blossom so...just throw it away.’ (I have a feeling we threw away way more than what was neccessary)

Then the thing happened that was bound to happen: I had an unpleasant encounter. With an earthworm. (I honestly have no problem with bugs or spiders and everything else thats crawling around but these squidgy worms or slugs....uäääääh. Don’t need to have them anywhere near me tbh) And I was like: ‘Yikes. That’s disgusting!’ And my brother just relpied: ‘Could be worse, couldn’t it? Could be a slug’ Me: ‘Yeah... still nauseating, though...’ Brother: ‘That’s probably what the earthworm is thinking too.’ Me (used to such ‘compliments’ from his side): Well, thank you... Brother (totally ignoring me): ‘It’s probably thinking: ‘Ew, human! But it could be worse. That human could be a bird or something...’

Remus: Dammit Sirius, not again!

A knight in shining armour

Sirius: *shrieking loudly* Cleo! Come here!

James: Hurry up!

Peter: Quick! It's really urgent!

Remus: What is taking you so long? Help!

Cleo: *enters dorm, totally out of breath from running up the stairs* What's wrong?

James: It's that thing *points to a corner near the door*

Sirius: It's disgusting

Remus: Horrible!

Peter: You have to get rid of it!

Cleo: *walks towards the door to get a better look* Are you kidding me? A spider? Again?

Sirius: Gross, isn't it? Now get rid of it.

James: You're our princess in shining armour. Defeat the monster and save us.

Cleo: *sighs* And there I was, presuming that making friends with blokes would spare me from terrified shrieking about tiny spiders...oh, how naïve.

So I was quite bored today (stuck in a hotelroom while it’s raining cats and dogs outside) and I ended up rewatching @asktheboywholived makeup tutorials. Minutes later I found myself in front of the bathroom mirror. Apparently it resulted in a remus cosplay (found that my hair matched his best and with not more than eyeliner, mascara and a lipstick available it was the easiest to recreate ;) ) Well, it was my first try and I actually quite like ‘bookish remus’ :D