ROOKIE DAD MISTAKES Mistakes They Make As A First-time Dad.

ROOKIE DAD MISTAKES — mistakes they make as a first-time dad.

𝐁𝐑𝐈𝐄𝐅. nobody said parenting was easy and nobody ever warned them of these slips ups.

𝐏𝐀𝐈𝐑𝐈𝐍𝐆𝐒. bakugo katsuki x reader, kirishima eijiro x reader, shinso hitoshi x reader, todoroki shoto x reader, midoriya izuku x reader (SEPARATELY)

𝐖𝐀𝐑𝐍𝐈𝐍𝐆𝐒. no gender is specified (maybe a little in shinsou's and kirishima's), a lil angst in Kirishima's section, crack, fluff

𝐁𝐀𝐊𝐔𝐆𝐎 𝐊𝐀𝐓𝐒𝐔𝐊𝐈,

STANDING IN FRONT OF THE "SPLASH ZONE:"

bakugo learns very rapidly that standing in the "splash zone" also speaks to baby girls and not just baby boys in a very unpleasant way.

he begins his traditional manner to set up for changing a diaper but with more acceleration than usual since he was already a tiny bit late for a meeting. While you offered to do it to let him free, he denied it. Messily, he loosened the diaper's seal around his little Katsumi's waist while rummaging for some fresher ones and wipes.

and just as he was doing relatively well, his baby looked at him with the most innocent look and peed on his white button-up and tie. It's safe to say he never got to that meeting.

𝐒𝐇𝐈𝐍𝐒𝐎 𝐇𝐈𝐓𝐎𝐒𝐇𝐈,

SPIT UP'S:

do you know how wives say that they wish their husbands could listen to them more? that's you. You've told repeatedly shinso not to bounce the baby promptly after she was finished feeding after your own experience, and of course, he never listened, so as a result of that, you decided you'd rather allow him to learn from his mistakes.

so right after nurturing his seven-month-old, shinso wipes her mouth first with her bib then released her from the confinements of her highchair. He sat her up in his arms and began to bounce her unconsciously while cleaning the art painted on her tray. When he finishes, he just glances at her broad e/c eyes —the matching hue as yours— and she stares up at him before puking on his shoulder.

𝐊𝐈𝐑𝐈𝐒𝐇𝐈𝐌𝐀 𝐄𝐈𝐉𝐈𝐑𝐎,

EXPECTANCY OF BECOMING A SUPER-DAD:

from the moment you told kirishima that you were pregnant, he committed himself to becoming the perfect dad but did not discern that that concept was mythical, especially when he specializes as a pro-hero where his time is reduced. Slowly, he begins to descend for not arriving in time when you went into labor because someone was stuck underneath a truck or not witnessing his son's first breath since gunshots ranged out by a convenient club.

so, when he finally arrives —about an hour later— he apologizes, to both of you and you tell him that there are just some things he can't control and that's not his fault. Still not convinced by your words, you allow him to hold kenchi and told him to look at him if he was disappointed. There was not an ounce of disappointment in his eyes but rather replaced with drowsiness from being placed in his father’s arms as his eyes narrowed then finally dropped close.

he sobbed.

𝐌𝐈𝐃𝐎𝐑𝐈𝐘𝐀 𝐈𝐙𝐔𝐊𝐔,

LETTING YOUR BABY WATCH VIDEOS UNSUPERVISED:

midoriya realizes that it takes merely three minutes for his toddler to take 176 impoverished pictures of himself, delete important files, and text "hsbdyomenhs44%" to bakugo.

he decided why not a little screen time while he cooks dinner before you arrive home, so he puts on an All Might compilations in hopes his child would grow up to adore All Might as he'd. Positioning his toddler in his playpen, he places ingredients in the crockpot that takes about two hours to cook before he goes to check up on Daiki. Later approaching the playpen, he realizes that setting a two-year-old alone with his phone wasn't be the best idea after witnessing his son watching a music video consisting of guns and women's nodding asses.

(unrelated note, I was inspired by this funny tik tok 😭)

𝐓𝐎𝐃𝐎𝐑𝐎𝐊𝐈 𝐒𝐇𝐎𝐓𝐎,

POKING A SLEEPING BABY:

todoroki frets over everything. Rather if his son is sneezing or giggling, he has the suspicion that everything is trying to strike his baby.

He spends his time hanging around the crib his entire maternity leave making sure his son is still living. Once, and only once, he felt like his son wasn't breathing, so in conclusion, he began to panic and poke around to check for movement. You both didn't get any sleep that night.

while the fandom likes to agree that mammon befriends crows, I like to headcannon that he's dire enemies with them.

Like, he would even avoid particular fractions of the devildom since crows can recognize the profiles of demons who provoked them. If he had forgotten to not go down a certain route, he would easily remind himself to not take a short cross across the park after being greeted by a mob of disgruntled crows nipping and tormenting at him. When you go to ask why they're so irritated by him, he gives a curt answer by stating that he knocked one of them out of the sky when he noticed it was carrying something shiny.

DIRTY — do they wash their hands after using the restroom?

𝐁𝐑𝐈𝐄𝐅. men are dirtier than girls. In fact, a 2009 study shows that "only 31% of men and 65% of women washed their hands after using a public restroom" (Heather Timmons). So with that said, who doesn't wash their hands?

𝐏𝐀𝐈𝐑𝐈𝐍𝐆𝐒. mha x reader, demon slayer x reader, jujutsu kaisen x reader, haikyuu!! x reader, attack on titan x reader

𝐖𝐀𝐑𝐍𝐈𝐍𝐆𝐒. I’ve not finished reading the manga of the fandoms except for MHA & AOT, so with some characters that I am not familiar with, I won't include them because I want to be as accurate as possible (perfectionist, much?), but besides that, it’s just crack

𝐈𝐒 𝐀 𝐏𝐋𝐀𝐆𝐔𝐄,

ALL OF AOT CAST (was germs even discovered? lol), shigaraki tomura, mahito, inosuke hashibira, bokuto koutarou (bitches be like '😚☺ I wanna hold hands with bokuto' until)

𝐖𝐀𝐒𝐇𝐄𝐒 𝐇𝐀𝐍𝐃𝐒 𝐎𝐍𝐋𝐘 𝐖𝐇𝐄𝐍 𝐒𝐎𝐌𝐄𝐎𝐍𝐄 𝐈𝐒 𝐖𝐈𝐓𝐇 𝐇𝐈𝐌,

ITADORI YUUJI, KAMINARI DENKI, HAIBA LEV, TANAKA RYUNOSUKE, atsumu miya, hinata shoyo, gojo satoru, terushima yūji

𝐖𝐀𝐒𝐇𝐄𝐒 𝐓𝐇𝐄𝐈𝐑 𝐇𝐀𝐍𝐃𝐒, 𝐁𝐔𝐓 𝐎𝐍𝐋𝐘 𝐖𝐈𝐓𝐇 𝐖𝐀𝐓𝐄𝐑,

DABI, nishinoya yū, atsumu miya, kaminari denki, todo aoi, kirishima eijiro, tetsutesu tetsutesu, monoma neito, mad dog, kōrai hoshiumi, toji fushiguro

𝐔𝐒𝐄𝐒 𝐎𝐍𝐋𝐘 𝐇𝐀𝐍𝐃 𝐒𝐀𝐍𝐈𝐓𝐈𝐙𝐄𝐑, 𝐍𝐎𝐓 𝐒𝐎𝐀𝐏,

shinso hitoshi, giyu tomioka, suna rintarou,

𝐃𝐎𝐄𝐒, 𝐁𝐔𝐓 𝐍𝐎𝐓 𝐅𝐎𝐑 𝟐𝟎 𝐒𝐄𝐂𝐎𝐍𝐃𝐒,

HAWKS, KENMA KOZUME, kageyama tobio, endeavor, tengen uzui, sero hanta, oikawa tooru, keishin ukai, aizawa shouta, yamamoto taketora, nanami kento

𝐈𝐒 𝐍𝐎𝐑𝐌𝐀𝐋,

TENDO SATORI, OSAMU MIYA, KUROO TETSUROU, tanjiro kamado, midoriya izuku, geto suguru, kita shinsuke, zenitsu agatsuma, megumi fushiguro, sanemi shinazugawa, kyojuro rengoku, senjuro rengoku, shinjuro rengoku, sugawara koshi, kamo noritoshi, yamaguchi tadashi, tsukishima kei, sawamura daichi, iwaizumi hajime, asahi azumane, wakatoshi ushijima, akaashi keiji, panda, iida tenya, todoroki shoto

𝐘𝐎𝐔'𝐑𝐄 𝐓𝐇𝐄 𝐏𝐋𝐀𝐆𝐔𝐄,

KIYOOMI SAKUSA, BAKUGO KATSUKI, muzan kibutsuji,

-

bonus:

𝐓𝐇𝐈𝐒 𝐆 𝐖𝐀𝐒𝐇𝐄𝐒 𝐓𝐇𝐄𝐈𝐑 𝐇𝐀𝐍𝐃𝐒 𝐖/ 𝐃𝐈𝐒𝐇 𝐒𝐎𝐀𝐏 💀

ITADORI YUJI, NISHINOYA YŪ, TOJI FUSHIGURO, DABI

KIND HEARTS — k. bakugo

𝐁𝐑𝐈𝐄𝐅. Using isolation, you seek to escape a miserable and painful past. However, you meet somebody who might be able to help you cope.

𝐏𝐀𝐈𝐑𝐈𝐍𝐆𝐒. bear shifter!bakugo x witch!reader

𝐖𝐀𝐑𝐍𝐈𝐍𝐆𝐒. the reader is referred to as a witch so female reader, trauma, PTSD, comfort, angst, fluff, the reader is a bit awkward and forward but nonetheless a fucking badass, "smelly lemons" or any other strange named fruit/vegetable mentioned is make-believe, POC friendly, magic au, witch au, 1500s au, enemies to lovers

THE MAN-MADE MAN — BEGINNING (word count: 1k+)

INSTINCTS — MIDDLE

SURVIVAL — END

𝐓𝐀𝐆𝐋𝐈𝐒𝐓 (open):

@the-witches-you-couldnt-burn , @osiris1rhi , @skbakusimp, @smashboxgirl26 , @bakucuddles , @esloao , @r-royce , @1234ilikecowsthanyoumore , @izhetttttt , @atsushiki , @gonnafyourmom24-7

𝐓𝐀𝐆:

𝗞𝗜𝗡𝗗 𝗛𝗘♡𝗥𝗧𝗦.𝘀𝗲𝗿𝗶𝗲𝘀

Kirishima listens to early TLC songs while he's cooking. He listens to "Creep," "No Scrubs," and especially "Waterfall" either with his black wired earbuds or just completely blasting it off on his Bluetooth speaker.

Like, the imagery comes across so hot to me... He'd be in the kitchen stewing some soul food; maybe collard greens and fried chicken while glittering beneath the lantern of the range hood from the heat of cooking. When you come downstairs from your premature nap, you walk into a pleasant-smelling kitchen with your favorite himbo mumbling something of "don't go chasing waterfalls..."

gojo was definitely one of those boys in high school who got a perm thinking that girls would like him better