Mammon X Reader - Tumblr Posts
You loved me too late...| Obey me x Fem!Reader
summary: when mc loves everyone but they don’t love her, not until it’s too late.
┊ ┊ ┊ ┊
oh i love myself some angst. And yes, I’m running out of ideas. But who doesn’t love some “I loved you but you loved me too late.” trope? EXACTLY.
warnings: being replaced, angst, emotional and physical abuse, suicidal thoughts
꘎♡━━━━━♡꘎
Playing Vent Playlist made by Me :)
(pls listen to the playlist cause i want to know if it’s good or not)
|◁ II ▷|
It hurts, doesn’t it? Having to easily see the brothers you so desperately wanted attention easily flick away from you. It does not help that the girl you were talking about prided in basically everything. She had everything in her fingertips, while you nothing in your cold hands. It was depressing. Having to love someone who doesn’t love you. It felt toxic. It felt saddening. It felt….tiring. It was exhausting. You still wanted them. You still acknowledged them. And yet, they took that all for granted. They only accepted her. But not you. Rage throbbed in your veins but you knew, beneath every façade and every breakdown, nothing will change. The cycle won’t change. The pain won’t change. She won’t change. The brothers won’t change. You gave them everything you had, but they gave you nothing. You wanted to cry. You wanted to feel something. But after so much, the very same tears that let out your emotions only let out your pain. Your vulnerability. It’s painful, no? As you hug the cold pillow, you hoped it could at least give you some warmth.
Keep reading
𝗗𝗶𝗮𝘃𝗼𝗹𝗼 & 𝗠𝗖’𝘀 𝘄𝗲𝗱𝗱𝗶𝗻𝗴 🍷
𝗚𝗲𝗻𝗿𝗲: fluff
𝗣𝗮𝗶𝗿𝗶𝗻𝗴: Diavolo x GN!MC (ft.bros)
𝗦𝘂𝗺𝗺𝗮𝗿𝘆: the brothers reaction to you & Diavolo’s wedding.
𝗡𝗼𝘁𝗲: requested by @diavoloslove <3
read part one here !
Lucifer is happy for you two, especially Diavolo since he helped Dia build up his courage propose to you
At the wedding he smiles at you as you walk down the aisle to Diavolo
Definitely helped with decorating and keeping his brothers in line
Very supportive of you two & if another demon doesn’t agree, they won’t live to see another day
Soft Luci?!
Mammon is jealous because you guys have such a beautiful wedding
Cheers you on as you walk down the aisle
supportive best friend 2.0
He actually got you guys presents, to congratulate you two
the present had matching necklaces for you and Diavolo
Leviathan is freaking out at the wedding because of so many people but calms down as he see’s you
Shyly cheers when you two kiss
He helped decorate and made you two a VR tape of all your favourite moments with Dia
Happy for you
Satan is probably one of the most supportive to you, helping you get ready ect
He is so proud of you he could cry tears of joy
Will also kill anyone that interferes with your wedding
He picked out some cat themed mini cupcakes for appetizers
I feel like he would give you a proud friend hug after the wedding
Asmodeus helps you pick out a wedding dress/suit
Is probably the most excited and compliments your wedding attire before he leaves to sit on the chairs with his brothers
Cheers the most out of all of them
Also cries tears of happiness
10000/10 supportive
Beelzebub has to contain his hunger when setting up all the appetizers and food before the wedding (he actually stole a cookie but no one could tell because there was so many)
He is happy for you and will help you calm down if you are nervous
After the wedding he shows you some of the best foods and appetizers to try
Gives you a bear hug after the wedding, congratulating you two
Belphegor actually falls asleep while setting up because he hardly got any sleep
Is wide awake during the wedding giving death glares to people that are rude
Has a wide grin and cheers for you
Falls asleep after the wedding probably walking towards the limo you all rented (rip)
WHAT!!! You can not just drop that on me!!
WHAT!!! You can not just drop that on me!!
WHAT!!! You can not just drop that on me!!
WHAT!!! You can not just drop that on me!!
Horny Mammon Thoughts 💛💛💛
Mammon loves the feeling of going inside you, sure, we always hear about that, but what about the feeling you taking him inside you???
Demons don’t have the same perception as humans do where penetration is inherently considered dominant, what they consider dominant is who is taking the action and making commands.
And we all know mammon very much wants to be right under your foot and fucked into oblivion and then pampered properly by his favorite human from time to time.
So it’s absolutely HAUNTING when you take ahold of his throbbing cock and slide right down on it. His eyes flutter and roll back and his whole body relaxes into the bed. He’s so overwhelmed by that one action that when you start moving, it’s already too much for him and he’s whining like a puppy talking about how tight you are and how hot you are and how much he’s in love with you. Mammon gets so enamored with you when you dominate him that he doesn’t think about anything else. He 100% worships you and wants the feeling of your tightness squeezing him forever. He’s just praising and praising you talking about how good you make him feel and how he’s just—
“I wanna feel ya forever”
“You’re so fucking sexy I can’t take it”
“I’m yours”
“Keep riding me, baby, please”
And then he’s begging for more stimulation, he wants more pleasure, some pain, he wants to see you really take control.
“Please kiss me”
“Do anything just gimme more”
“Fuck, slap me, please, baby”
“I’ll do anything, anything for you”
Then when he finally cums, he’s grabbing onto whatever part of you he can and digging into your skin. He’s lowkey more pathetic than Levi when he cums like this the difference between them is that all mammon can focus on when he cums is how much he’s obsessed with you.
Usually, when he gets super intimate and intense like that, he’s one and done, but he wants the most aftercare possible and wants to provide you with more as well. And aftercare usually include him laying like a baby on top of you and rubbing your skin. And maybe some really slow sloppy make out sessions. He’s also really giggly and smiley and says I love you way too many times.
YOU HAVE TO SAY IT BACK EACH TIME OR ELSE.
Horny Mammon Thoughts 💛💛💛
Mammon loves the feeling of going inside you, sure, we always hear about that, but what about the feeling you taking him inside you???
Demons don’t have the same perception as humans do where penetration is inherently considered dominant, what they consider dominant is who is taking the action and making commands.
And we all know mammon very much wants to be right under your foot and fucked into oblivion and then pampered properly by his favorite human from time to time.
So it’s absolutely HAUNTING when you take ahold of his throbbing cock and slide right down on it. His eyes flutter and roll back and his whole body relaxes into the bed. He’s so overwhelmed by that one action that when you start moving, it’s already too much for him and he’s whining like a puppy talking about how tight you are and how hot you are and how much he’s in love with you. Mammon gets so enamored with you when you dominate him that he doesn’t think about anything else. He 100% worships you and wants the feeling of your tightness squeezing him forever. He’s just praising and praising you talking about how good you make him feel and how he’s just—
“I wanna feel ya forever”
“You’re so fucking sexy I can’t take it”
“I’m yours”
“Keep riding me, baby, please”
And then he’s begging for more stimulation, he wants more pleasure, some pain, he wants to see you really take control.
“Please kiss me”
“Do anything just gimme more”
“Fuck, slap me, please, baby”
“I’ll do anything, anything for you”
Then when he finally cums, he’s grabbing onto whatever part of you he can and digging into your skin. He’s lowkey more pathetic than Levi when he cums like this the difference between them is that all mammon can focus on when he cums is how much he’s obsessed with you.
Usually, when he gets super intimate and intense like that, he’s one and done, but he wants the most aftercare possible and wants to provide you with more as well. And aftercare usually include him laying like a baby on top of you and rubbing your skin. And maybe some really slow sloppy make out sessions. He’s also really giggly and smiley and says I love you way too many times.
YOU HAVE TO SAY IT BACK EACH TIME OR ELSE.
Horny Mammon Thoughts 💛💛💛
Mammon loves the feeling of going inside you, sure, we always hear about that, but what about the feeling you taking him inside you???
Demons don’t have the same perception as humans do where penetration is inherently considered dominant, what they consider dominant is who is taking the action and making commands.
And we all know mammon very much wants to be right under your foot and fucked into oblivion and then pampered properly by his favorite human from time to time.
So it’s absolutely HAUNTING when you take ahold of his throbbing cock and slide right down on it. His eyes flutter and roll back and his whole body relaxes into the bed. He’s so overwhelmed by that one action that when you start moving, it’s already too much for him and he’s whining like a puppy talking about how tight you are and how hot you are and how much he’s in love with you. Mammon gets so enamored with you when you dominate him that he doesn’t think about anything else. He 100% worships you and wants the feeling of your tightness squeezing him forever. He’s just praising and praising you talking about how good you make him feel and how he’s just—
“I wanna feel ya forever”
“You’re so fucking sexy I can’t take it”
“I’m yours”
“Keep riding me, baby, please”
And then he’s begging for more stimulation, he wants more pleasure, some pain, he wants to see you really take control.
“Please kiss me”
“Do anything just gimme more”
“Fuck, slap me, please, baby”
“I’ll do anything, anything for you”
Then when he finally cums, he’s grabbing onto whatever part of you he can and digging into your skin. He’s lowkey more pathetic than Levi when he cums like this the difference between them is that all mammon can focus on when he cums is how much he’s obsessed with you.
Usually, when he gets super intimate and intense like that, he’s one and done, but he wants the most aftercare possible and wants to provide you with more as well. And aftercare usually include him laying like a baby on top of you and rubbing your skin. And maybe some really slow sloppy make out sessions. He’s also really giggly and smiley and says I love you way too many times.
YOU HAVE TO SAY IT BACK EACH TIME OR ELSE.
Hello. Could I please request headcannons about Mammon with a very clingy MC?
I love that idiot so much it causes me to have cuteness aggresion. I just want to JEJEBEOWBWIEBA him if it makes sense ^-^
Mammon x gn!MC
Mammon with a very clingy MC
He absolutely loves it. Above grimm and treasures he is greedy for MC's affection and time, which they are more than glad to provide
No one can separate them and everyone in House of Lamentation is annoyed because of it. Mammon either has an arm over MC's shoulders or MC has an arm around his waist at all times
At first Mammon had a hard time with a clingy MC because he was stuck between his 'Great Mammon' act and the want to never let go of them. Once he gets used to MC's clinginess? He is all over them.
Classes be damned. If Mammon receives a text from MC he will be 100% focus on their convo and vice versa. The amount of lectures they got from Lucifer is unholy
Depending on their luck, or the lack of it, the brothers have high chances of walking in on MC cuddling with Mammon while he is counting his grimm
One time time Lucifer walked in on MC sitting on the couch while Mammon was sitting in the floor, his head between their thighs. MC was playing with his hair while Mammon was venting about the latest thing Lucifer has done to him. He quickly left the room without making his presence known, he can lecture Mammon about his latest prank another time.
Mammon often gives MC his jacket or shirts for when they have to be away from one another. That way MC can have a piece of the great Mammon at all times
If they are anywhere close to his size, he may still one or two MC's jackets. They are both clingy when it comes to one another.
He also won't hesitate to brag to his brothere about how MC is so clingy when it comes to him.
Hello. Could I please request headcannons about Mammon with a very clingy MC?
I love that idiot so much it causes me to have cuteness aggresion. I just want to JEJEBEOWBWIEBA him if it makes sense ^-^
Mammon x gn!MC
Mammon with a very clingy MC
He absolutely loves it. Above grimm and treasures he is greedy for MC's affection and time, which they are more than glad to provide
No one can separate them and everyone in House of Lamentation is annoyed because of it. Mammon either has an arm over MC's shoulders or MC has an arm around his waist at all times
At first Mammon had a hard time with a clingy MC because he was stuck between his 'Great Mammon' act and the want to never let go of them. Once he gets used to MC's clinginess? He is all over them.
Classes be damned. If Mammon receives a text from MC he will be 100% focus on their convo and vice versa. The amount of lectures they got from Lucifer is unholy
Depending on their luck, or the lack of it, the brothers have high chances of walking in on MC cuddling with Mammon while he is counting his grimm
One time time Lucifer walked in on MC sitting on the couch while Mammon was sitting in the floor, his head between their thighs. MC was playing with his hair while Mammon was venting about the latest thing Lucifer has done to him. He quickly left the room without making his presence known, he can lecture Mammon about his latest prank another time.
Mammon often gives MC his jacket or shirts for when they have to be away from one another. That way MC can have a piece of the great Mammon at all times
If they are anywhere close to his size, he may still one or two MC's jackets. They are both clingy when it comes to one another.
He also won't hesitate to brag to his brothere about how MC is so clingy when it comes to him.
200 words of mammon love i haven’t written for obey me in like a month so i have come to feed the pigeons (you).
brain rotting about mammon, who doesn’t let mc forget things.
no, no not like dates and times, but items. any of their possessions. no losing a jacket or forgetting your notes , because mammon will be handing them to you right before you realize they’re gone.
he’s always aware of where your items are, it’s fallen in line with the way he keeps track of money and wallets in public. he’s greedy, his eyes always following when a businessman pulls out a shiny black card, tapping it on the scanner and slipping it back into his pocket. mammon has to look for valuables when he’s out and about, it’s practically hardwired into his brain.
and the moment he fell for you (instantly) you became a valuable in his eyes, err subconscious?
everything you touch, look at, breathe near becomes part of what he tracks, which is why he can’t help but snatch up what you forget, keeping it to himself, just giving it back when you realize it was lost with an eye roll and scolding you to be more cognizant of your possessions.
but, ah, let’s not get into what you didn’t ask for back, especially not what you’ve purposefully discarded. he’s hit some low points, okay?
200 words of mammon love i haven’t written for obey me in like a month so i have come to feed the pigeons (you).
brain rotting about mammon, who doesn’t let mc forget things.
no, no not like dates and times, but items. any of their possessions. no losing a jacket or forgetting your notes , because mammon will be handing them to you right before you realize they’re gone.
he’s always aware of where your items are, it’s fallen in line with the way he keeps track of money and wallets in public. he’s greedy, his eyes always following when a businessman pulls out a shiny black card, tapping it on the scanner and slipping it back into his pocket. mammon has to look for valuables when he’s out and about, it’s practically hardwired into his brain.
and the moment he fell for you (instantly) you became a valuable in his eyes, err subconscious?
everything you touch, look at, breathe near becomes part of what he tracks, which is why he can’t help but snatch up what you forget, keeping it to himself, just giving it back when you realize it was lost with an eye roll and scolding you to be more cognizant of your possessions.
but, ah, let’s not get into what you didn’t ask for back, especially not what you’ve purposefully discarded. he’s hit some low points, okay?
200 words of mammon love i haven’t written for obey me in like a month so i have come to feed the pigeons (you).
brain rotting about mammon, who doesn’t let mc forget things.
no, no not like dates and times, but items. any of their possessions. no losing a jacket or forgetting your notes , because mammon will be handing them to you right before you realize they’re gone.
he’s always aware of where your items are, it’s fallen in line with the way he keeps track of money and wallets in public. he’s greedy, his eyes always following when a businessman pulls out a shiny black card, tapping it on the scanner and slipping it back into his pocket. mammon has to look for valuables when he’s out and about, it’s practically hardwired into his brain.
and the moment he fell for you (instantly) you became a valuable in his eyes, err subconscious?
everything you touch, look at, breathe near becomes part of what he tracks, which is why he can’t help but snatch up what you forget, keeping it to himself, just giving it back when you realize it was lost with an eye roll and scolding you to be more cognizant of your possessions.
but, ah, let’s not get into what you didn’t ask for back, especially not what you’ve purposefully discarded. he’s hit some low points, okay?
200 words of mammon love i haven’t written for obey me in like a month so i have come to feed the pigeons (you).
brain rotting about mammon, who doesn’t let mc forget things.
no, no not like dates and times, but items. any of their possessions. no losing a jacket or forgetting your notes , because mammon will be handing them to you right before you realize they’re gone.
he’s always aware of where your items are, it’s fallen in line with the way he keeps track of money and wallets in public. he’s greedy, his eyes always following when a businessman pulls out a shiny black card, tapping it on the scanner and slipping it back into his pocket. mammon has to look for valuables when he’s out and about, it’s practically hardwired into his brain.
and the moment he fell for you (instantly) you became a valuable in his eyes, err subconscious?
everything you touch, look at, breathe near becomes part of what he tracks, which is why he can’t help but snatch up what you forget, keeping it to himself, just giving it back when you realize it was lost with an eye roll and scolding you to be more cognizant of your possessions.
but, ah, let’s not get into what you didn’t ask for back, especially not what you’ve purposefully discarded. he’s hit some low points, okay?
[mc is in the human world] beel: hey, mammon mammon: mc calls me mammon... belphie: that's because it's your fucking name
[mc is in the human world] beel: hey, mammon mammon: mc calls me mammon... belphie: that's because it's your fucking name
[mc is in the human world] beel: hey, mammon mammon: mc calls me mammon... belphie: that's because it's your fucking name
no guts
just a little something that’s been in the crockpot of my mind for, oh, a year. i’m purging the dreaded WIPs of my notes app and figured I finally found the direction I wanted to go with this one. this is inspired by @fickleminder’s “no hope, no love, no glory” which you should definitely read. basically, what would happen if MC fell out of favor with Mammon
———————————————
“And— and ya shoulda seen the server’s face when Beel kept goin’ with the— hey. Hey? Ya listenin’ over there?”
Your eyes had gone cloudy. They usually do around halfway into any story, but Mammon was determined to make you laugh this time. This was a story tried and tested to make even the grumpiest demons laugh and he misses your laugh like he’s never missed anything else. There’s an ache where your presence used to be that nothing else can fill. Because he can be leaning over your bedside, fussing over your pillows, scooting his chair up until his knees knock against the bed frame and it won’t matter. You’re present and you’re breathing and he’s close to you, but you’re not there. Not there.
Your eyes drift back down to his face, focusing back in, just a little. It’s enough for Mammon to pick back up his story, watching your attention extra carefully now because this is the punchline of the story and you can’t miss it or he’ll never hear you laugh and the void will keep aching because he’s greedy and grasping but there’s nothing to have anymore, nothing to grasp— except there will be because Mammon will make it. He’ll create something to hold onto, something he’ll horde all to himself in the hole in his chest. He’ll create it.
“And it was a mess, and the server said, he said—“
“I was a server,” you croak and Mammon is instantly snapping his mouth shut. His teeth clink together uncomfortably but Mammon ignores it, nodding his head rapidly, eager to egg you on. You talk so little. Your voice sounds a bit rough, should he grab you a glass of water? But no, he has to pay attention, he’ll get you that glass in a minute. He’ll remember.
Your eyes list to the side and Mammon swerves his head so you’re still making eye contact with him.
“There was… the company went bankrupt so I had to find another job.” You say. Your fingers inch across your blankets, tapping against the mattress just slightly. Like you’re about to start gesticulating when you speak. They don’t go very far. “It was around— no, it was near my… my house. Apartment. The restaurant was near my apartment… maybe two, three miles away. I’d walk there everyday.”
Mammon leans further in, hanging off your every word. What little he knows about your life outside your time in the Devildom hurts him. Pains him like nothing else. That you had a life, that you had experiences, that you lived your human lifespan and Mammon only gets the tail end of it when he wanted the all of it. But that’s his own fault, isn’t it? No use in being greedy with something you gave up. Mammon will leave that to Levi. He’d prefer to be greedy with the time you have left in his life than envious of the time you spent without him.
“I mostly… I mostly handled the cashdrawer. The customers would— they never tipped when I was the server.” Your eyes move to him and there’s the clarity Mammon’s been aching for. The slightest bit of sharpness in your eyes. It makes his heart beat a little faster, even after all this time. “And I always wasted the— the ingredients when I cooked. So I manned the register.”
You huff out a breath and Mammon’s heart near leapt out of his throat. You laughed. You laughed you laughed you laughed you laughed. You laughed and he was here to see it.
“Should— I should have known,” you mumble and Mammon strains himself to hear everything you say. “I never did anything right. It was a couple dollars at first. Every few nights. But then I was losing ten. Twenty. Thirty. Every night.” Your brows furrow as you recall. “And they said— said I was stealing.”
Your eyes turn to him and they bore into him with… something. Not intensity. Not sadness. But some kind of weight Mammon can’t place. Every nerve is prickling. His chest hurts.
“I wasn’t.” You whisper, like it’s a confession. “But the— and then when I was moved to cleaning, when it stopped going missing. And then I spilled— I was fired. From being a server.”
Your eyes slide away from him and you look down at your hands, still and wrinkled on the blankets.
“Never did anything right,” you mutter.
“That’s not true!” Mammon bursts out heatedly, making you startle a little. He lowers his voice immediately. “That’s not true. Ya— ya did everythin’ right. Ya did.”
You slowly sink back against the pillows, loosing whatever wind you had, the firmness of your posture and eyes fading away. You make a ‘hmmph’ sound of mild derision and say nothing else.
Mammon’s hands hover over one of yours. There’s a sick, tight feeling in his throat and he just wants to explain that you weren’t a screw up or a failure or whatever else you might think. They were the failures, the colossal fuck ups. Mammon most of all.
If you were having trouble at your job, Mammon should have been there. Your first man, your protector, should have helped you prove your innocence and helped you find the missing cash. Mammon’s always had a nose for money, and it would have been easy for him to give you some of his—
Some of his affinity for it.
“No. No no no no no no no no no no.” Mammon hands cover your hand, squeezing it tightly. “Ya— did you have trouble? Did— did— ya said your company went bankrupt? Money went missing? What other stuff happened? Hey, hey. Focus on me, please? What else happened? Please?”
Your eyes do move to him, annoyance in the slight furrow of your brow. But you don’t say anything.
“No, please? Just— ya don’t gotta tell me all of it, promise. Just a little.”
“Every company,” you mutter, resentful. Mammon doesn’t know if you’re resentful of him or what you’re talking about. He doesn’t want to know.
“Every company what,” Mammon snaps, impatient. His heart is thudding so fast. His hands are drained of color around the knuckles and shaking over your wrinkled one. “They what?”
“Went bankrupt. Or I got laid off. Every company I worked for.” You shake your head, eyes trained on the ceiling but looking off somewhere unknowable. “Never did anything right.”
Mammon’s hands fall away from their vice grip on yours. They find a new home over his mouth, where he clamps his fingers to his jaw as he fights wave after wave of nausea.
Fuck. Fuck!
“I didn’t…” he gasps. “It— I didn’t do it,” he tells you desperately. “It wasn’t me! Or I— I didn’t mean to. I didn’t know!”
You look at him again. And it… it’s awful. Mammon can spend hours by your bed, praying for you to look at him, hoarding every moment you acknowledge him. But this? Your empty eyes that somehow pin him to his chair? They make him want to run. Shrivel up and disappear. Worse than when Lucifer gets the wrinkle in the middle of his forehead that means he’s really upset and Mammon has fucking done it this time.
“Okay,” you say, befuddled and… and nothing else. Nothing at all.
Mammon puts his head in his hands, his elbows digging into his thighs. You once told him his elbows were bony. Laughed right in his face when he got all puffed up and mad about it. He feels it now, the aching pressure that presses his legs into the fake leather cushion of the stiff, uncomfortable chair he sits in.
He would give every Grimm— no, every bit of gold, every shiny piece, every glimmer in his collection for you to call him bony again.
“I didn’t know,” he says again. To you. To the open air of the stupid, shitty human nursing home. To his brothers— fuck how is he going to tell them? How is he supposed to… fuck.
You don’t answer. And for once, Mammon’s grateful for it.
no guts
just a little something that’s been in the crockpot of my mind for, oh, a year. i’m purging the dreaded WIPs of my notes app and figured I finally found the direction I wanted to go with this one. this is inspired by @fickleminder’s “no hope, no love, no glory” which you should definitely read. basically, what would happen if MC fell out of favor with Mammon
———————————————
“And— and ya shoulda seen the server’s face when Beel kept goin’ with the— hey. Hey? Ya listenin’ over there?”
Your eyes had gone cloudy. They usually do around halfway into any story, but Mammon was determined to make you laugh this time. This was a story tried and tested to make even the grumpiest demons laugh and he misses your laugh like he’s never missed anything else. There’s an ache where your presence used to be that nothing else can fill. Because he can be leaning over your bedside, fussing over your pillows, scooting his chair up until his knees knock against the bed frame and it won’t matter. You’re present and you’re breathing and he’s close to you, but you’re not there. Not there.
Your eyes drift back down to his face, focusing back in, just a little. It’s enough for Mammon to pick back up his story, watching your attention extra carefully now because this is the punchline of the story and you can’t miss it or he’ll never hear you laugh and the void will keep aching because he’s greedy and grasping but there’s nothing to have anymore, nothing to grasp— except there will be because Mammon will make it. He’ll create something to hold onto, something he’ll horde all to himself in the hole in his chest. He’ll create it.
“And it was a mess, and the server said, he said—“
“I was a server,” you croak and Mammon is instantly snapping his mouth shut. His teeth clink together uncomfortably but Mammon ignores it, nodding his head rapidly, eager to egg you on. You talk so little. Your voice sounds a bit rough, should he grab you a glass of water? But no, he has to pay attention, he’ll get you that glass in a minute. He’ll remember.
Your eyes list to the side and Mammon swerves his head so you’re still making eye contact with him.
“There was… the company went bankrupt so I had to find another job.” You say. Your fingers inch across your blankets, tapping against the mattress just slightly. Like you’re about to start gesticulating when you speak. They don’t go very far. “It was around— no, it was near my… my house. Apartment. The restaurant was near my apartment… maybe two, three miles away. I’d walk there everyday.”
Mammon leans further in, hanging off your every word. What little he knows about your life outside your time in the Devildom hurts him. Pains him like nothing else. That you had a life, that you had experiences, that you lived your human lifespan and Mammon only gets the tail end of it when he wanted the all of it. But that’s his own fault, isn’t it? No use in being greedy with something you gave up. Mammon will leave that to Levi. He’d prefer to be greedy with the time you have left in his life than envious of the time you spent without him.
“I mostly… I mostly handled the cashdrawer. The customers would— they never tipped when I was the server.” Your eyes move to him and there’s the clarity Mammon’s been aching for. The slightest bit of sharpness in your eyes. It makes his heart beat a little faster, even after all this time. “And I always wasted the— the ingredients when I cooked. So I manned the register.”
You huff out a breath and Mammon’s heart near leapt out of his throat. You laughed. You laughed you laughed you laughed you laughed. You laughed and he was here to see it.
“Should— I should have known,” you mumble and Mammon strains himself to hear everything you say. “I never did anything right. It was a couple dollars at first. Every few nights. But then I was losing ten. Twenty. Thirty. Every night.” Your brows furrow as you recall. “And they said— said I was stealing.”
Your eyes turn to him and they bore into him with… something. Not intensity. Not sadness. But some kind of weight Mammon can’t place. Every nerve is prickling. His chest hurts.
“I wasn’t.” You whisper, like it’s a confession. “But the— and then when I was moved to cleaning, when it stopped going missing. And then I spilled— I was fired. From being a server.”
Your eyes slide away from him and you look down at your hands, still and wrinkled on the blankets.
“Never did anything right,” you mutter.
“That’s not true!” Mammon bursts out heatedly, making you startle a little. He lowers his voice immediately. “That’s not true. Ya— ya did everythin’ right. Ya did.”
You slowly sink back against the pillows, loosing whatever wind you had, the firmness of your posture and eyes fading away. You make a ‘hmmph’ sound of mild derision and say nothing else.
Mammon’s hands hover over one of yours. There’s a sick, tight feeling in his throat and he just wants to explain that you weren’t a screw up or a failure or whatever else you might think. They were the failures, the colossal fuck ups. Mammon most of all.
If you were having trouble at your job, Mammon should have been there. Your first man, your protector, should have helped you prove your innocence and helped you find the missing cash. Mammon’s always had a nose for money, and it would have been easy for him to give you some of his—
Some of his affinity for it.
“No. No no no no no no no no no no.” Mammon hands cover your hand, squeezing it tightly. “Ya— did you have trouble? Did— did— ya said your company went bankrupt? Money went missing? What other stuff happened? Hey, hey. Focus on me, please? What else happened? Please?”
Your eyes do move to him, annoyance in the slight furrow of your brow. But you don’t say anything.
“No, please? Just— ya don’t gotta tell me all of it, promise. Just a little.”
“Every company,” you mutter, resentful. Mammon doesn’t know if you’re resentful of him or what you’re talking about. He doesn’t want to know.
“Every company what,” Mammon snaps, impatient. His heart is thudding so fast. His hands are drained of color around the knuckles and shaking over your wrinkled one. “They what?”
“Went bankrupt. Or I got laid off. Every company I worked for.” You shake your head, eyes trained on the ceiling but looking off somewhere unknowable. “Never did anything right.”
Mammon’s hands fall away from their vice grip on yours. They find a new home over his mouth, where he clamps his fingers to his jaw as he fights wave after wave of nausea.
Fuck. Fuck!
“I didn’t…” he gasps. “It— I didn’t do it,” he tells you desperately. “It wasn’t me! Or I— I didn’t mean to. I didn’t know!”
You look at him again. And it… it’s awful. Mammon can spend hours by your bed, praying for you to look at him, hoarding every moment you acknowledge him. But this? Your empty eyes that somehow pin him to his chair? They make him want to run. Shrivel up and disappear. Worse than when Lucifer gets the wrinkle in the middle of his forehead that means he’s really upset and Mammon has fucking done it this time.
“Okay,” you say, befuddled and… and nothing else. Nothing at all.
Mammon puts his head in his hands, his elbows digging into his thighs. You once told him his elbows were bony. Laughed right in his face when he got all puffed up and mad about it. He feels it now, the aching pressure that presses his legs into the fake leather cushion of the stiff, uncomfortable chair he sits in.
He would give every Grimm— no, every bit of gold, every shiny piece, every glimmer in his collection for you to call him bony again.
“I didn’t know,” he says again. To you. To the open air of the stupid, shitty human nursing home. To his brothers— fuck how is he going to tell them? How is he supposed to… fuck.
You don’t answer. And for once, Mammon’s grateful for it.