How Do You Allow Yourself To Write Without Becoming Depressed By The Whole Process?

how do you allow yourself to write without becoming depressed by the whole process?

Hopefully my answer will be enough, but if you need to ask follow-up questions man, by all means, feel free.

When it comes to writing for RP, I don't get depressed by the whole process because I love it. I really, really love it. I may be ungodly slow, and definitely try my partners' patience when it comes to that, but I love it. I love reading people's replies, love writing my own. I love reading other threads that have nothing to do with me. I love reading other people's headcanons. Or when a crazy magic!Anon happens, like when Lucid ( @brokendreamscreation ) was turned human and just landed splat into the forests of the Pacific Northwest, I adore trying to keep up on that. I often can't, just because I am too busy during the day, but whenever I catch a glimpse? It's wonderful. Or, although they're someone who is pretty busy with university, when @aroyaltailor pops on and mentions something about their muse, it makes my day.

RP is about the writing for me, but also a lot about the people. I just really like seeing people happy, being part of their fun, even if a lot of the time I am just the audience cheering them on. There's nothing depressing about that to me. The hardest part, what does make me sad, is trying to choose well when it comes to mutuals. I want to follow everyone back, but know that I can't. If I can tell that we're not going to mesh because of differences in rules, or if someone just swamps the dash with endless content that's going to make it way too hard for me to see other people's posts (nothing wrong with that! it's just a difference in styles and priorities), I have to regretfully just not follow, or not follow back. I always feel like an asshole for that, not gonna lie, especially when they have already followed me. I'm not mutuals-only though, so in theory if someone wanted to write together and we weren't mutuals? I would absolutely be on board.

Writing doesn't depress me because coming here, even when it is hard, is an escape, a happy place. I was depressed the other day when I couldn't make sentences make sense--they all felt so slippery--but that was the fresh concussion messing with me, causing its own depression, not something resulting from the writing process. But even with that? I am so lucky, so fucking lucky, to be blessed with just the kindest damn mutuals, who have been so supportive and sweet even when I was feeling useless because of the concussion. There are some really special people to me, who even when they are posting with someone else entirely, just seeing them pop up on the dash gives me that little spark of joy that nothing can snuff out, like @botanikos and @visage-of-hell. There are people who know their muses backwards and forwards, who manage to take characters that a lot of the fandom sometimes seem to ignore, like @moxxietude who has just absolutely taken Moxxie and breathed so much life into him, and who could definitely convince me she was part of Viv's team if she chose to, her writing is that solid, that incredible. I just, like?? Fuck, man. And @poisonedspider is a fucking babe--Strode you're magnificent, don't fight me on this--and @infxnatum is one of those unsung heroes of the RPC, who will always go out of his way to send people messages, even when he doesn't get love in return. I feel like somehow, I landed in the best fandom of all, surrounded by the best people? And like I'm being a monster for not @'ing everyone, I am so, so sorry. I know the natural inclination is to feel left out but please, please, I love you fuckers, don't feel left out, I am just rambling so much and realize I need to end this. And just. Yes.

So, TL;DR?

It doesn't depress me because I am surrounded by the most wonderfully uplifting people, and I will do fucking anything for this fandom, I adore you guys.

And if you meant writing as in the writing I do for work--I am really lucky in that the majority of my content is queer, so I get to roll around in feelings and love for my own community. There are occasional non-queer things, like a short story here or there, or a random zoom lecture I was paid to give, or contract pieces--usually articles, always under dry af NDA contracts--that kind of suck sometimes, but being able to produce content for my community gets me through the hard times <3

(Also, I fight with depression constantly, so writing doesn't need to serve depression up to me. We're bros by now, and constantly knocking each other around).

How about you though, are you like--are you doing okay? Are there points you want to talk about? You can IM me, friend, always.

Messing around with Stolas' grimoire has some unexpected consequences. In a swirl of magicks and ethereal shrieks, Blitzø is transformed into...a birb! Specifically an owl demon like Stolas himself. What's the first thing he does? 

"Aw, fuck me," Blitz swore, standing up straight and looking down at himself. Where the fuck was his tail? His--oh fuck, he still had a tail, it was just--it was--

Fuck! Fuck, fuck, fuck, what the FUCK?

Covered in feathers, ridiculously tall, he wasn't an imp. He didn't have horns. Glossy black feathers edged with vermillion, a white disc of tiny, tightly-packed feathers for his face, he didn't look like himself at all--but hoooo boy, he could panic like himself.

"Fuck, fuck, fuck fuckfuckfuck." Fumbling his phone out--oh christ on a fucking stick why was it so small?--he sent a handful of texts.

@moxxietude -> Moxxie I turned in2 a fucking bird WHAT THE FUCK DO I DO

@ you -> PARAK WTF

@botanikos -> Stols i fukked up and have feathers might have ben fucking w ur book I M SORRY CAN YOU PUT ME BACK i lhave a cloaca tho i guess like we cud uknow wait no sorry long text, short question: HELP?

❝Blitz, ❞ Stolas coos, enveloping the imp in his hold. He receives a peppering of kisses and the press of the prince's cheek against his own. ❝ You are SUCH a handsome little devil.~  ❞

Blitz wanted to melt, but he also wanted to keep his eye on the target. Take Your Boyfriend to Work Day was way more fun than it had any right to be, and the real Earth sunlight felt so nice. The temptation to just roll Stolas over into the deep grass and forget about the hit was so strong...

Fuck it.

Blitz melted into him, loving the kisses and the nuzzling. Purring, he wrapped all of his limbs around Stolas, clinging like the thoroughly contented gremlin he was. A moment later though, he pushed Stolas down on his back, where Blitz had been a moment ago. Pinning him, he looked down with a smile--fuck he loved this bird--before kissing him quickly... and fetching his rifle back up.

Stretching out atop him, Blitz got comfortably into position, reacquiring his target.

"Cover your ears, babe," he said, his voice soft and low, but very much an order for once. Blitz gave Stolas a moment to do so, while assessing the shot--trying to use tips from Moxxie, who was a hell of a lot better at long-range work than Blitz was. Letting out a breath, slow and even and smooth, he squeezed the trigger--

And the job was done.

"Whooo!" Up on his knees now, he thrust a fist into the sky with a ridiculous cheer--then remembered where he was and who he was currently straddling. Blitz looked down, expression fucking melting into sappy adoration. Setting the rifle aside, he nuzzled his beautiful, beautiful Stolas again.

"You make work so much harder," he murmured, cupping his face in both hands, blissfully unaware that the way he said those words, they sounded like something else. They sounded like I Love You.

Blitz leaned in and kissed him with all the worship and adoration his fucked up little heart could manage, as if he could press a lifetime of love into a single moment--as if a single moment was all they would ever have.

In EXES AND OOHS, Blitz mentioned that killing other demons in Hell "ain't exactly our business no more." So...what's the story behind that? What kind of hits did Blitz do before getting his [gremlin] hands on the Stolas' grimoire?

Anything and everything he could. He had to make ends meet and was fucking determined to do it purely with hits--honest day's work, honest day's pay, etc. Taking contracts for people in Hell wasn't his first choice, it always felt a little more sleazy, but he would do it.

He actually got into a lot more trouble, more dangerous situations, doing that than he has on Earth yet, even including the penguins, because Blitz had absolutely no problem taking on highly powerful targets. Blitz was getting hurt all the time, sometimes pretty badly, but it paid the bills. He did what needed to be done and set money aside, knowing that once he adopted a kid--which was part of his plan for a long time, wanting to do what little he kid to make help someone--his expenses would go up. But eventually, he started making enough money--and gaining enough notoriety--that starting up a new venture didn't feel out of the question anymore, and he couldn't have been happier.

He had to be a much more vicious person then, but he did it and did it well. Now, though, Blitz feels more like a person, more like who he wants to be--less like a monster. Which, you know. Still a murderer. But hey at least he's... not killing his own kind? That's a win, right?

"Damn right!" Blitz couldn't stop smiling at how cute all of them were. "Hey, do any of them like scritches? These little fuckers are adorable. Yes you are, look at you! You're gonna grow into those big feet, and you're gonna get biiiiiiig chompers, and everyone's gonna live in terror, yes they will, oh yes they will."

The little dinosaur Blitz had scooped up blinked in confusion, but didn't really object to the affection. The imp was scratching it and rubbing its horned head on it, and that felt homelike enough to settle the dinosaur halfway to sleep.

Blitz looked up at Lucid before reluctantly offering it back out. "You tell me if anyone ever tries to hurt these fuckers. Oh, I will end a bitch!"

I mean Blitz brought Audrey II home. How bad could it be if dinosaurs come to Hell too? Lucid should definitely bring them all! What could go wrong? - @doublejango

Context xxx)

“You know what? You’re right! I will bring them all home. I bet Luci would be thrilled to have dinosaurs back too!”

Bend over and think happy thoughts Blitz, it's annual prostate exam time!

"You know my anatomy is pretty different from a human's, right?" Blitz asked, about to argue--before he realized that actually, this was probably going to be a good time. So fuck it, why not? Taking off his belt, he looped it around the neck of the person flirting at him, tugged them close, and purred affectionately into their ear, "You can go first, baby, but I'm going to ruin you when it's my turn."