Dash Commentary - Tumblr Posts
"having a singular pet cat does NOT make me a cat magnet."
Blitz is just over here with his chin in his hands and hearts in his eyes, tail swishy, shipping Stella & Agency. Let that woman CHOOSE a lover dammit 🥰
"I'm fine. As a-okay as ever these days. But, not to get too meta here or anything," Blitz said, glancing over at the fourth wall to make sure nobody had smashed through it yet, "but people are ganging up on her because she's a woman. Or that's what I think, any way. Cause, you know, it's not cool or acceptable for women to be fuckin' weird or have niche interests, or whole-ass niche sexual interests.
"People think it's funny when I have a bizarre fetish, like anthropomorphized horses, but Satan fucking forbid a young woman knows what she's into and dives right the fuck on in, enjoying herself immensely.
"Plus, it's easier for people to look down on someone different than it is to stop and see hey, maybe there's some fucking depression going on here, or... you know. Anything that might contextualize her as a person."
@doublejango
"Oh. I, uh--" He hadn't been expecting that. Especially with Blitzo's current predicament. He had to hide how flustered he was. "I wouldn't ever say that. Just wondering why everyone's ganging up on this new arrival sinner. I know she's, uh... A Lot. But so are many, many hellions. She can adjust. That said...are you okay?"
Blitz is firmly on team Protect Emberlynn.
As the person who murdered her, this is a Questionable Choice, but his entire life is made of those, so RIFP.
"Hey now," Blitz immediately objected, pulling Moxxie into his arms and hugging him tightly. "You're putting one of my favorite people down right now, fucker.
"Maybe what it really means is that you're a lot more open with yourself than most of us are most of the time, you know? You're brave, and a lot more fuckin' stable than most of us. Maybe you share more of your true self, so people are able to know you. Don't put yourself down." He very, very gently tapped one of his horns back and forth between Moxxie's, then sighed against his forehead. "Give yourself credit for caring at least, okay? Just... like... I don't know, be fucking nice to yourself or something, you know? You deserve it."
"I dunno, Blitz. I just feel really inattentive if I can't remember these details about the people in my life. Maybe I shouldn't but it's like I owe more."
@doublejango
Blitz's heart was going to burst one of these days, and it was going to be Moxxie's fault. His arms tightened and he closed his eyes, suddenly fighting tears. He wasn't going to fucking cry. He wasn't going to fucking cry--but a couple happy tears slid down his cheeks anyway.
"Damn right," he crooned, with a quiet little laugh. Blitz swallowed hard, managing to shove the tears away for now, at least. Fuck, he loved this guy. Moxxie was one of the only really good people in Hell, and while yeah, sometimes Blitz knew he went too far in mocking him, he loved him. He really fucking loved him, and so whenever it was Moxxie putting himself down? That hurt in a deep, twisting, frightening sort of way.
For a moment, he was still. Then, he let himself purr--but again, only for a moment. When Blitz let go, his pupils widened and his tail started swishing, and he took a step back, grinning in invitation to do one thing he only did with Moxxie: zoomies. Maybe this wouldn't cheer Moxxie up, but fuck it, it was worth trying, right? And the energy was all there, bursting inside Blitz and demanding to be let out somehow (totally not just because he was sometimes a little overwhelmed with how goddamn much he loved this fucker).
"One last thing, Mox... Catch me if you fucking can!" Blitz bolted, leaping over Loona's desk and making a mad scramble for the door.
Moxxie's frown transformed to a shy smile. He rested his forehead gently against Blitzo's and nodded, though it was hard for him to believe it all-- that maybe it was just that he was anopen book, not that he couldn't read others--but maybe it was something he might be able to believe in time.
"Okay..." he smiled, "I'll try, Blitz."
The fact that literally everyone knows Blitz would be way too at home in a sketchy kink club in Pride kills me, and that some of you chose he panics and proposes to Moxxie instead (this is absolutely the answer) gfdjkghfdsjk y'all know Blitz way too well and I am here for it.
Editing to add: I deleted the quiz link because I am going to dive back into drafts and won't be looking at it <3 But you guys are amazing and gdi, I should try to be around more often, dash games are fun??
Blitz is just over here watching the cucumber seduction and sipping at his coffee.
"Oh, I'm sure. See you in the parking lot in like ten minutes, Your Majesty."
@doublejango
“Well well I’m impressed .. you want to fight me? You sure about that ?”
Why I should never have a day free from work or any other obligations: Blitz will challenge Lucifer and seriously consider challenging God next.
It's true. Blitz has the totally-legit adoption papers and everything. If anyone ever hurts Lucifer, Blitz will tear them apart. Sure, maybe he kiiiind of challenged Lucifer to an epic battle and tried to stab him but no one else gets to. That is his Fallen archangel, thank you very much.
Lucifer: fully grown , eons old Archangel/Demonic king of hell.
@doublejango ‘s Blitzø : This is my son , I just adopted him . He’s my child .
@blitzbuckz @doublejango ‘s Blitzø’s with Lucifer .
Blitz could not have felt more fucking loved in that moment. He looked over at Moxxie in surprise, then grinned and shrugged, slipping back into his more carefree persona. "She'll lose interest. What's she gonna do, die of thirst? Bitch is already dead..." He leaned back in his chair, folding his arms behind his head--
And the chair fell over.
With a grunt, Blitz hopped up to his feet, brushing himself off. "Totally the chair's fault." Not like Blitz had a unique relationship with gravity. "And yeah, she'll lose interest. There's so many hotter motherfuckers out there, who will actually want her to want them. She'll find the right one or two or twenty and have a fuckin' field day--and if any of them ever hurt her? I will wear their fucking skins." He beamed as he said it, fixed his chair, and plopped back down. "So! Paperwork. Where do you need me to start catching up?" After all the paperwork he had dumped on Moxxie, Blitz knew it was fair for Mox to dump it right back.
Moxxie perked up, "Yeah! Chaz is just as obnoxious! And more aggressive. But people just accept it. 'Oh, he's just a guy.' And some even finding it charming-- ahem," clearing his throat "younger me. But yeah, it seems like it's because her interests are 'cringe' and 'funny' everyone's ganging up on her."
He smiled at Blitzo. "But, that said. It's okay if it's overwhelming for you. I know what it's like to be stalked by someone who won't take No for an answer. So if you need help looking for something like a restraining order, just know, I'm here. Do you think she'll lose interest and go away soon. When the novelty of demons wears off?"
@moxxietude said: "You are loved, Blitz."
Those simple words hit hard, in the best way possible. Blitz turned, not having expected Moxxie to be there, but the moment he saw him? He smiled. Heart softening, body seeming to just relax, tension falling away just because Moxxie was there.
"You too, Mox." Reaching out with his tail, he lovingly brushed the spade over Moxxie's upper arm, smiling, heart in his damn throat. "You, too."
"Damn right!" Blitz couldn't stop smiling at how cute all of them were. "Hey, do any of them like scritches? These little fuckers are adorable. Yes you are, look at you! You're gonna grow into those big feet, and you're gonna get biiiiiiig chompers, and everyone's gonna live in terror, yes they will, oh yes they will."
The little dinosaur Blitz had scooped up blinked in confusion, but didn't really object to the affection. The imp was scratching it and rubbing its horned head on it, and that felt homelike enough to settle the dinosaur halfway to sleep.
Blitz looked up at Lucid before reluctantly offering it back out. "You tell me if anyone ever tries to hurt these fuckers. Oh, I will end a bitch!"
I mean Blitz brought Audrey II home. How bad could it be if dinosaurs come to Hell too? Lucid should definitely bring them all! What could go wrong? - @doublejango
Context xxx)
“You know what? You’re right! I will bring them all home. I bet Luci would be thrilled to have dinosaurs back too!”
"If I thought Alastor was pissed at me, or trying to like, fuckin, trick me in to something? I would run so fucking fast. But Lucifer? Doesn't even bat an eye." Blitz toasted the television set hanging above the bar. "Guys, our king is hot! H, A, W, T!
"You get em, Your Majesty!" Not that Lucifer would hear it of course, but damn it, it made Blitz happy to cheer for people he loved.
Blitz hissed at her, tail vibrating, hunching himself back into a smaller--wait. Wait. Millie! That was Millie! With a muffled exclamation of joy, he shot out from under the desk and tackled her with a hug, nuzzling his face all over hers, tail swooshing around.
"Millie! Fuck me dead, am I happy to see you! Moxxie and I maybe watched some of Vox's Favorite Fear Fest Films, you know, the shit that's on twenty-four-seven now? And it--fuck. I watched the Ring, and there was this girl, and well, and her fingernails, and like, this bitch came out of the fucking television, and...?" Blitz had somehow ended up crouched on Millie's shoulders like a cat, tail whipping protectively around her. Yes. This was good. Much safer up here. Much, much safer.
"Where's Moxxie? He okay?"
@doublejango
"Blitz?! Are you okay? Need me to get Loona for ya?"
Who's traumatizing her boys!?
[I have to tag @toranoya in on this dash commentary, because their Peter is absolutely amazing, like??? he reduced Blitz to tears in seconds in the most warm, uplifting way]
"I thought I knew what angels were like, about and shit. They're a bunch of highbrow assholes who just like to look down on people and shit. Show up in Hell, kill off your Sinner friends, fuck everything up. And then I met Peter and.... uuuuughhhh." Blitz waved both hands emphatically at the sky. "He's so fucking good and kind and it fucks me up and I want him to have good shit--like blowjobs and cuddles and shit."
@doublejango said:
Blitz just flings himself down with an arm over his forehead. "Fuck me dead, right? He's so fucking CUTE! And he's got that voice, and he's so NICE! Like??"
"How can so much ADORABLE be stuffed into one being?" she sighs and looks at Blitz with a smitten smile. "I would let him do unchaste things to me."