Wrote Another Heavily Depressing Fic. I Have One More In The Idea Stage As Well. I SHOULD Be Writing

Wrote another heavily depressing fic. I have one more in the idea stage as well. I SHOULD be writing my flufftober stuff but it's hard to get in that mindset right now, ya know? I get an idea for something depressing and then I write it all in one sitting. At least it's relatable. When I write fluff, I find my heart hurting because I'm pining for the feelings I'm writing about.

Man I'm cringe. Getting upset over this sort of thing.

My dad really liked sparkling water (until he drank so much he got kidney stones) so I grew to enjoy it from a young age. I enjoy the TV static water with someone shouting "lime" from the other room.

I think it's a mouth feel thing, idk. The carbonation makes it feel more refreshing and it's not as heavy on sweeteners as soda.

Guy about to invent sparkling water: water is so good but I wish that it tasted terrible and hated me

(It doesn't really matter, but if I weren't me and I read this, I would want to at least see a little bit of closure. You're so nosy! Er, I'm so nosy.)

Things are fine. I was worrying (not necessarily unwarranted), but things ended up being fine. That's all. What a pal.

Oh I've also been kicking myself today because I realized that I forgot to mention my beta reader when I post about new chapters being uploaded. I really appreciate all their hard work, and you should go give them a follow. @makomaki5

As for when the writing in mention will be uploaded...who knows? It's all signed off on and approved by my beta reader, but I think I want to sit on it for a little while in case I think of some other things I would like to add. As much as I can go back and add things to it, or even add chapters. I think if I get into the mindset of always being able to go back and add on to works I've posted, I would never get anything new done. It's a concept I considered approaching for more characters, but I want to keep things strictly in character as much as possible, with some slight deviation by reading deeper into the way they act and present themselves to the outside world.

Also, I feel like you would want to strike some kind of balance of hurt and comfort as to not be a total bummer. The thing is, I'm basing (not directly trying to use characters as an analog for myself, consider basing like...how some movies are "based" on a true story or some such) a lot of what I wrote on my real thoughts and experiences. As sad as it is to say...sometimes you don't get the comfort part. Sometimes you just have to push forward, and that sucks. I want to provide some hope if I can, and well, using the tools to my disposal just makes certain moments feel right to include. You'll know what I mean when I post it, I think...

Anyway, enough of being a bummer. I kinda wanna use this page as an outlet for headcanon and other writing ideas, after seeing some other people do that. It just brings me such joy to see the way people think and perceive things about characters.

@hobie-doh made a post about hc-ing (headcanoning?) Akira as being one to sing or hum a lot. I encourage you to read it, because it is fascinating to think about, and I don't think I could do it justice in a brief summary. It's short, it'll take you like two minutes to read. Come ooooon, do it for me?

I want to be able to speak freely like this about things I think about. Sure, part of me is paranoid about giving away moments in things I will eventually write, but I feel like that's okay. Seeing ideas form and eventually turn into larger concepts and stories with outside input is a great way for ideas to turn into stories, naturally. It's like two-way brainstorming.

Anyway, that's a ramble and a half. Thanks for reading, if you did. I like how Tumblr allows for longform writing, and since I barely have anyone following me, I feel more comfortable about speaking my mind.

Also I had a chill birthday. It was nice. Gonna pre order some games for myself when I get paid next week. The best presents are the ones you gift yourself.

BRB letting the intrusive thoughts win (also happy birthday to me i guess????)

Fear not, I'll properly tag anything that could be too extreme. Don't worry.

It's uh, all a bit extreme. Sorry! I'll try not to make this a habit...

Beneath Their Masks is continuing on schedule (somewhat), but don't be surprised if I do some other stuff in the meantime. Just haven't been in a really fluff-y mood this week. Sorry.

ya'll need to chill

Beneath Their Masks Chapter 14 is Up!

It's at this point that I've reached the end of my pre-written chapters. I think the daily uploads may come to an end. I'll do my best to keep ahead of the curve, but I'm not gonna write any checks my stupid ass can't cash.

Makoto was lighting a candle in her room after the power had gone out…again. Taking a page from Ann’s book, she had dotted some candles around her room. She even made an attempt to pick candles with scents that wouldn’t necessarily clash with each other. Ann said she was planning on coming by at some point today, and Makoto considered it a shame that the power had gone out, but perhaps Ann being there to comfort her would be a good thing. She hadn’t had as extreme of a reaction as the last time the power went out, but she still felt uneasy. The only thing keeping her mind off it was Ann’s eventual arrival.

Makoto felt her phone vibrate in her pocket. She pulled it out and tapped on the recent text notification. It was from Ann.

Ann: did the power just go out at your place?

Makoto: It did. How did you know?

Ann: because im here

Makoto: Oh, I see. You will probably have to take the stairs, then.

Ann: see

Ann: i wish i could do that

Makoto: It’s not that bad of a climb, to be honest. We’re only on the 25th floor.

Ann: no

Ann: im in the elevator

Makoto: Oh.

Makoto: Oh!

Ann: yeah

Makoto: Did the elevator stop?

Ann: yeah

Ann: i hit the emergency button but nothing’s happening

Ann: makoto niijima, light of my life, would you please find some way to get me out of this thing?

Beneath Their Masks Chapter 9 is Up!

It's totally on time. I definitely uploaded it while it was still the 9th (in some time zones). This is the end of the vacation fic "arc". Well, unless I think of something else to add, but yeah. Also, I hope the original side characters aren't too distracting. I wanted to write them to give Ann some connections relating to her modelling, and also as a (somewhat) positive influence on Ann. I didn't want Ann and Makoto's relationship to feel to isolated from the rest of their friends or family, so it was at this point that I started experimenting with more relationships and side stories to keep things fresh. It may be a flufftober thing, so continuity doesn't really matter, but it matters to me dangit! (Also I just realized I forgot to add the date to the chapter whoops better go add that)

“Whooh, I’m stuffed.” Ann said, strolling into the room, Makoto in tow. “Those two sure know how to treat a gal.”

Makoto shut the door behind her, flicking the lock as she did.

“It was awfully generous of them to offer to pay for dinner.” Makoto mused, aloud.

“They did say we were like the two little sisters they never had.” Ann replied. “Although us being their sisters kind of muddies the water if we’re dating…”

“I’m sure they didn’t think too deeply about the metaphor. But they are quite fond of you.”

“You say that like they didn’t like you. They love you! I’m sure they wouldn’t have gone through all the effort if they didn’t.” Ann said, reassuring Makoto. “You’re overthinking things again.”

Makoto shrugged.

“Well, we have some more time in the evening before we should probably head to bed. Did you have any plans?” Ann asked.

“Mmm…not really. I was open to just about anything you would be likely to suggest.” Makoto said.

“Just about anything?” Ann said, eyebrow raised.

Makoto raised an eyebrow at her as well.

“Well…let me think…” Ann rested her head in her hand as she pondered for a moment. “Oh, how about a bath?”

“A bath?”

“Yeah! This room has an onsen big enough for the two of us!” Ann said with childlike glee.

“W-Well…” 

“It’s up to you. I understand if you’re still not fully comfortable with that sort of thing.”

Makoto said nothing as she silently wrestled with her inner voice.

“Tell ya what. I’ll go get in, and you can join me if you’d like. No pressure or anything, promise.” Ann said.

Makoto thought for a moment and then nodded.

“Alright, I’ll think about it.”

Ann pecked Makoto on the cheek as she passed by her on the way to the bathroom. Makoto brought her hand up to savor the fleeting warmth on her cheek as the wheels in her head began to turn.