× eddie as in not-limonov but still quirky and angry at the government × young, not sweet, fuck i'm nineteen × ancom radfem × lesbian × theatre kid who can't sing × chaotic academia bastard × i have opinions & i make people cry × current obsessions: WESTERNS, the magnus archives, horror films, hannibal, killing eve, black holes, 1930s russian avant-garde poetry, jack stauber's micropop, mitski × i am a proud language geek ask me to flirt with you in french or italian × gender critical × "in my ribcage two birds fight. one wants to be alone, the other wants to be free" ×
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I Hate Being Photographed On Purpose, Like, 'let Me Take A Picture Of You'. Just. Don't Do It. Please.
i hate being photographed on purpose, like, 'let me take a picture of you'. just. don't do it. please. and i won't believe you if you say i'm beautiful or that it's nothing to be ashamed of, because you don't bloody know. i've been having some serious doubts about myself recently - still am. so just. don't. i don't like it because it makes me feel so horrified that i can't see my own face, and i will doubt you as well because who knows if you make me look more feminine in your photo, and i would literally start crying because of it.
i. am. not. a. woman. right now, i am not a woman.
so please. just don't.
More Posts from Eddie-spielman
Those Five Words
‘In April 1779, Alexander Hamilton wrote in a letter to John Laurens, five words so racy, so explicit that they were thoroughly marked through by his son in an effort to censor his father’s passion. Those five words have haunted curious academics for centuries, leaving us to only imagine what bawdy innuendo he could’ve written that was worse than even ‘the length of my nose’. @john-laurens requested the microfilm and graciously shared so that we all can speculate what those five words were.
I submit to you,
“In drawing my picture, you will no doubt be civil to your friend; mind you do justice to the length of my nose and don’t forget, that I ⟨never spared you of pictures⟩.”
I’m more sure of some words than others, but in explanation:
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"if you don't love me at my men's then you don't deserve me at my women's"
an actual quote i heard today and can't stop thinking about it
they feel so alive here. the era, the epoch they lived in, their clothes seem so beautifully real. i just love this i can't-
[cries in historian]
p.s. the third, the fourth and the fifth ones is russian czar nicholas the second throwing a party with his friends and family in darmstadt, germany, 1899.
look, i've got more
fashion trends we need to bring back:
1. togas
2. long ass capes
3. these pirate shirts with puffy sleeves
"[...] and I left Nathanael suffering in York. I left Nathan choking in Metz; and I left Marquis De drowning in his naiveté in Paris. The only one I take with me is a young boy, a dreamer and a raging soldier - I'm leaving France with Lafayette."
— excerpt from a book I'm not writing any time soon