Almost

Almost

Fandom: BTS Pairing: Jungkook x OC (Jessie) Genre: Angst and a little bit of fluff Warning: Possessive behavior, underage drinking, heartbreak etc. Word Count: 1.8k words

‘Almost’, the most depressing word in my dictionary. If you want to know the reason behind it, we’ll have to go back in time.

Our grade 1 teacher had suggested to fix our seats alphabetically. That didn’t sound bad to me. Because Jungkook and I were the only students with the initial J for our names. Or at least that was what I thought.

“Jessie” my teacher called me to seat at the very back of the first row. I smiled at Jungkook and went over to take my seat.

“John” the teacher called next.

“Who the hell is John?” I thought while the new boy in our class came to sit beside me.

“Now Jungkook would sit at the very front of the second row” the teacher announced.

Jungkook went to his assigned seat and looked back for a moment to catch my eyes. It was a signal for me to persuade the teacher to let us sit together.

I knew I had to do it. Because Jungkook would rather die than argue with the teacher on any matter. I, on the other hand, searched for every single chance to contradict my teachers. It was something I found really amusing.

As soon as I put forward my request, our teacher replied with, “Who would complain on such a peaceful organization of the seats other than you?”

The other students started to laugh. As much as I can recall, we had some minutes of argument when finally the teacher said, “Alright! Let’s ask Jungkook on what he has to say about it.”

Then he turned to Jungkook and asked, “Do you want to go over to the back to sit with her? Or are you happy with my decision?”

Jungkook nodded his head and said, “I’m fine, here” like a complete idiot.

I remembered how his reply had hurt my pride and since then I had never sat beside him in any class, not even when we had gone to the high school. We were almost going to sit together for a whole year and more to come. But no!

None of us would introduce the other as the best friend. Nonetheless we had the closest bond than any best friends’ duo of our class. In fact, we were more than friends. We knew it and so did everyone else.

Some people couldn’t understand how we ended up together while others would say, “opposite attracts.”

We were totally opposite in terms of our personalities. I was wild, adventurous and free-spirited while Jungkook was shy, introverted and conserved. But these were merely what appeared on the outside. I believed him to be more like me spiritually. He just had been taming the animal within himself.

Perhaps I was the only one who could see that. Whatever it was, nobody would deny the fact that we were surely an unusual couple.

The next incident also happened at the farewell party of our Elementary School. I was talking with a bunch of boys and joking around.

I knew Jungkook would not join us since he didn't like the crowds. So I didn't bother calling him either.

The party was over and we were walking home together. Suddenly he said, "I didn't like seeing you there." he paused for a moment and added, "With THEM."

I laughed, "What are you talking about?"

"You know exactly what I am talking about"

"Okay, I understand." I said. "You were probably lonely in there. But hey! We are going to the same High School. But some of the boys are leaving the town. I will get to meet you anytime I want. But not them."

"Whatever!" Jungkook sighed in exasperation.

"Why are you making such a huge deal out of it?"

"Because, I don't want to share you with anyone."

"Why?" I asked, rather shocked.

"Because you're my..." Then he abruptly stopped.

I stopped walking. "What?" I urged him to continue.

Jungkook went red on the face but didn't say anything further.

"For God's sake, Jungkook, just say it." I wished to myself.

"Let's hurry!" He said, "We’re already late."

And that was it. Jungkook almost called me his girlfriend. If only he really did, I would have gladly accepted that. Perhaps then, our relationship could have gotten a tag.

We were only 13 back then. I had sneaked a bottle of whiskey from the kitchen cabinet where my father usually kept them. I was always curious about adult drinking that I wanted to try it myself. But doing something this big alone didn’t sound exciting at all.

Of course, I had told Jungkook earlier to sneak out of his house at midnight to meet me at the little junkyard. Reluctantly he had agreed. He actually showed up even though I doubted that he would.

“Guess what I have with me?” I asked him.

“Umm…” he went on to his usual loading mood.

I didn’t have any patience left so I showed him the bottle right away. Jungkook gasped as soon as he saw it. His reaction made me feel more proud of myself for accomplishing the task.

Jungkook tried to persuade me not to drink it. But it was hopeless as I was too determined. As soon as I sipped directly from the bottle I spited it out.

“Yuck!” I shouted, “How can people enjoy drinking this thing?”

Jungkook started to giggle at my reaction. I wasn’t feeling confident anymore. I had to try something else to prove that I was braver than him.

“Stop laughing!” I said boldly, “as if you’ve ever done anything fun in your life before.”

“You didn’t do anything to boast about either.” He said as a matter of fact. "You’re all talk.”

“Who said that? I’ve done quite a lot of things.”

“Like?” he was mocking me at that point.

I quickly tried to make up a lie to get away from the embarrassing situation, “Like I already had my first kiss?”

“What?”

The shock on his face was satisfying. So, I continued, “Yeah, of course, dummy.”

Jungkook frowned and asked, “Who was it?”

“Why would I tell YOU?” I started to tease him now, “I bet you have no idea about these stuffs anyway.”

“I don’t believe you.” He said.

I walked closer to him and said, “Why? Do you want me to prove it?” Jungkook took a step back and I started to laugh.

“I know about these stuffs as much as you do, okay?” he tried to argue.

“Then prove it.” I said in a very serious voice.

Jungkook remained quiet. I slowly walked toward him. He took two steps back causing him to be pinned to the nearby broken car. I rested one of my hand on the car to his left.

Through the moonlight, in the otherwise dark night, I could see Jungkook’s face clearly now. He had shut his eyes closed. I leaned to close the distance between our faces. Our chests were already touching and I could feel his heart beating fast. His trembling lips were parted a little.

I was almost within the reach to feel his breath on my lips, when I realized, he might be frightened. And I moved away. Jungkook opened his eyes and looked at me in confusion.

“I lied,” I said, “I never kissed anyone before.”

I’d had enough. I wanted to get rid of this unestablished relationship I was in with Jungkook. I finally decided I would ask him to be my boyfriend. I had even saved enough money to buy him a nice watch once we were official.

“I have something to tell you.” I said as soon as we met.

“Me too.” Jungkook replied.

“Okay, I'll let you go first.” I was shocked at his calm voice, “Mine can wait.”

Jungkook bent his head down and he said, “I've got accepted.”

“What?”

“You remember about the audition, right?”

“Oh yeah, right!” I said, remembering, “The audition. So, what now?”

“They had called me to sign the contract and go stay in Seoul.”

I didn't know what to say. I never really thought about what was going to happen if he got accepted by the company.

I asked hopefully, “But you'll come back again right?”

Jungkook was too quiet. Something felt wrong. That time, I knew it was the end. He was never coming back to me. A new life awaited him. How could I stop him now?

I smiled, "I knew you would do well."

“But I don't want to go away.”

I could see tears were forming in his eyes. My own tears threatened me to burst out at any time. I still managed to hold it back and said, “What are you talking about? It's a life changing opportunity.”

Jungkook wiped away the tear that just fell from one of his eyes. He slowly nodded his head. He understood.

“Jessie!” he called.

“Hmm?”

“Didn't you want to say something earlier?” he asked.

“Yeah.” I said, “I want to buy you a watch. Consider it as a goodbye gift.”

That’s how our story ended with yet another almost. It could have gone differently. If only I could bring myself to ask him to be mine, could he refuse? Didn't he loved me enough to leave behind everything to be with me? Apparently I never found out.

It had been ten long years. By the time, I had witnessed Jungkook growing up little by little on screen. I had been his number one fan since day one. He along with his group had gone so far now.

I was really grateful to all of his hyungs, who had been there for Jungkook all these years. They had made him who he was today. They had helped him to grow and come out of his shell. I was more than just proud of him.

My life had been different than what I had imagined it would be like. Nonetheless I was doing okay. However, one day, something really unexpected occur.

I saw Jungkook for the first time in ten years. He had come to the store I work in to buy his all-time favorite banana milkshake. He was wearing a cap to hide his face, so that no one could recognize him at a first glance. But how could I not? He was my first, if not last, love.

I was a little shocked when he put the milkshake in front of the counter. Our eyes met for a split second. Jungkook quickly looked away and handed me the cash and said, “Keep the change.” Then, he was gone.

He didn’t recognize me. I doubted he would have. I had shorter hair than him, too many piercings on my ears and nose, tattoos on my arms, neck and even face.

Life almost gave me a chance to be reunited with my Jungkook, only to snatch that hope away in the end.

My Masterlist

Red Hope! - Part 5

Specially requested by @lelewright1234. Hope you enjoy!

Note: This work is totally fictional and has nothing to do with BTS on real life. I mean no hate toward any person in particular. This plotline was requested. Though I personally hate bullies, I still believe there is hope for everyone.

Fandom: BTS Pairing: OT7 × OC (Leah) Warning: Bullies, allergy attack, OC suffering from amnesia, flashbacks etc. Genre: Fluff and Angst Summary: The boys plan to meet Leah one at a time for her to get to know them better...

Part 1 - Part 2 - Part 3 - Part 4 - Part 5 - Part 6 - Part 7 (Complete)

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The doctor had suggested me to stay in the hospital for three more days and to take rest for the whole week even when I go home. The seven boys had made a schedule to meet me one at a time throughout the week. That sounded alright to me since I wanted to know them individually and talking in a group did not allow much opportunities.

*************************************************  

Day 1: Hoseok knew the steps too…

I was lying on my hospital bed. Hoseok had been sitting next to me on a chair while humming a song that sounded familiar to me. “What is this song?” I asked.

“Tightrope by Michelle Williams” he replied, “do you remember it? It was your favorite song to do ballet on.”

“It rings a bell.” I said.

He smiled at me and said, “I can’t wait to see you do ballet again.” I smiled back. I couldn’t wait to do it too. I wanted to know the feeling of dancing again.

“Oh, don’t make that face.” Hoseok pouted.

“What face?”

“That Smile-through-the-pain face. It hurts right here.” He put his hands on the left side of his chest to indicate his heart. The cute faces he was making were enough to melt my heart away and I laughed. This time it was genuine.

“Get up.” He said, “I don’t think anyone’s coming to check on you now.”

I did as he asked me to. He turned on the song I knew so well on his phone and came toward me. He took my hands in his. Then, we started to move along the music. We danced and danced. I closed my eyes to feel every beat. Hoseok didn’t need to lead me. I already knew every step of it.

The song ended. I opened my eyes and stared into his, breathing heavily. We were standing too close to hear each other’s heart beating, fast but rhythmic.

*************************************************  

Day 2: Jungkook spilled the truth...

Jungkook was complaining an awful lot about how he had missed half of the day because his hyungs had made him go to the school.

“It’s okay.” I said, “We still have enough time.”

“We have time, though,” he said in an annoyed voice, “but not enough.”

I had been pondering over the fact that Jungkook had stopped going to the school since I was in a coma. That sounded like we were very close. Hesitantly I finally asked him about it.

Jungkook’s face turned red as he shook his head slowly.

“No?” I asked, “Then why would you stop going to the school?”

“Don’t you know about the accident?” he asked in a serious voice.

What could the accident had to do with it? I was told that I was hit by a car and ended up being in a coma. But nobody gave me any details about it.

“What about it?” I asked.

“It was supposed to be us.” He said, his voice sad, “me and the boys.”

“Supposed to be?” I was confused.

Jungkook explained how they had been drunk that night. If it weren’t for them, I wouldn’t have ended up the way I did. Jungkook’s eyes were filling up with tears.

“Come on, Jungkookie!” I tried to cheer him up, “I must have cared for you enough to have save you like that.”

“Yes, you did.” A tear fell from his eye, “Only we didn’t do the same.”

*************************************************

Day 3: Namjoon defended the boys...

I woke up hearing a rather loud conversation in the hospital corridor. It sounded like Nina was arguing with someone. I went closer to the door and I could hear what the other parties were saying.

“I can allow some of you,” Nina was saying, “But never Jin and Yoongi. I bet they’re still planning to prank her the way they always did.”

“Nina!” It was one of the boys, but I couldn’t recognize the voice, “We’ve talked about this. I promise you, nothing’s going to happen to her. We’ve learned our lessons.”

“I don’t trust you.” Nina snapped back, “You guys are capable of anything.”

“Alright!” he sounded exhausted, “How about we talk about it later, this evening? Does that sound good?”

There was no reply from Nina. I could hear footsteps approaching my door. So, I quickly ran toward my bed, grabbed a book from the table and sat there pretending I was reading.

Namjoon opened the door and as soon as he met my eyes, his grim face broke into a smile. I smiled back at him, not knowing what to do otherwise.

“Are you done with that one?” he pointed at the book I was holding.

“Just a little bit left.” I lied, though I had already finished reading it yesterday.

“Here,” he handed me the book he bought with him, “I hope you’ll like this one.” It was ‘Me Before You’ by Jojo Moyes. I took the book and thanked him.

I didn’t want to talk to him. I was too confused about the conversation that I just overheard. Somehow, hearing Nina not being able to trust them made me question their behaviors. Why were these boys being so good to me?

To avoid Namjoon, I pretended to read my book. He seemed to have understood that I was not in a mood to talk. He patiently waited for me quietly. After an hour, when I was still not paying any attention to him, he rose up.

“I’ll get going, then. Enjoy the book while you’re still here. They’re gonna release you tomorrow. So, good luck!”

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Day 4: Jin made a promise...

I felt really bad the whole day once Namjoon was gone. I felt bad for suspecting him. He was such a gentleman. There was no way, he would try to hurt me. I thought of taking a chance to meet the boys and get to know them by myself. I was not going to judge them just because of something I overheard.

The next day, I was released from the hospital. My mother, stepfather, Nina and Jin came to take me home. As expected, Nina was not comfortable about Jin being there. It was visible on her facial expression.

When we reached home, everyone was busy making me feel comfortable, asking me if I needed anything. I said I wanted to stay at my room if that was okay. My mother nodded.

Nina and Jin followed me to my room. It was evident that Nina was not going to let me be alone with Jin today. I did not make any complaints either.

When Jin failed to get any attention from the two of us, he announced, “Leah, do you remember that I am a great cook? Master chef actually. Just wait and see how I’m going to surprise you.” Saying that he went to the kitchen while Nina rolled her eyes.

Jin came back with two bowls of hot ramen. “Oops!” he said, “I forgot that Nina’s with us.” And then he started to giggle like an idiot which made me laugh too.

“Very funny!” Nina said in an annoyed voice. Then she bought a pair of chopstick for herself and shared the ramen with mine.

As I slurped the ramen I remembered something from the past. I had an allergic reaction from ramen in the school cafeteria. Someone had mixed MSG with my ramen.

“Was it you?” I asked Jin.

He was confused but seemed to have understood the graveness of the matter. “What is it, dear?” he asked.

“Did you ever prank me by putting MSG in my ramen?”

He was startled as if he didn’t expected me to remember that. Nina sighed but stayed silent, wanting him to explain it himself.

“I…” he hesitated, “Yeah. But I didn’t know you would have such a violent attack. It was meant to be a joke.”

“Thank you but I’m not eating that.” I pushed the bowl away from me, “Can you guys please leave? I’m tired.”

Nina nodded and walked out of my room. Jin sat there for a while, his expression unreadable. Then, he slowly walked to the door. He turned to me and said, “I’m sorry, Leah. I promise we will make it up to you.”

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Day 5: Jimin had cuteness in his bag…

The doorbell rang. I knew it was one of the boys. I stayed in my room and heard my mother open the door. There was a few minutes of greeting. Then came a knock on my door.

“Come in” I said.

Jimin peaked his head first. “Hello!” he called with a smile. He had bought flowers again. This time it was orange tulips. He handed me those.

“Are you a florist?” I asked. In reply, Jimin just laughed.

I was still not over yesterday. I had a feeling that I had shared a somewhat bitter-sweet relationship with the boys. Nina had told me that the boys were trying their best to be better. I asked her what that meant. She just shrugged her shoulders and told me that she would let me figure it out eventually.

“Are you still mad?” Jimin asked pouting his lip. He looked too cute for me to remain mad at him.

“Jimin,” I said, “will you tell me something honestly?” Jimin sat beside me and said, “Ask away.”

“Why are you guys being so nice to me?”

“Because we care for you.” Jimin said. Before I could say anything further, he added, “I know, you might be having some doubts. But trust me, we really do.”

I felt like I could trust him. I pushed my suspicions away and said, “So tell me, what we are going to do?”

Jimin grinned, “Just wait and see what I have in my mind.”

It was true. There weren’t any fun games left that we didn’t play. Starting from painting old stuffs, we played video games, card games and board games, we even played a little hide and seek around the neighborhood. Finally at night, we watched a movie together.

Jimin really had a charm about him. It was hard not being happy around him. Unexpectedly the day went too good. Even my mother noticed that I was happy. And when I went to sleep at night, I was already missing Jimin.

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Day 6: Taehyung made a valid point…

I waited for the next Bangtan boy to arrive. I really had fun with Jimin that I was regretting being rude with Namjoon and Jin. I told myself that these boys were probably very fun loving and made jokes without thinking about the consequences. I let Nina’s words assure me that they were trying their best to be better.

The sun had already sat when Taehyung showed up in my house. I was getting a little angry at that time.

“Why bother coming at all?” I asked him first thing once we met.

Taehyung said, “eeeh” to show me his teeth.

“What was that for?”

“I had a sudden toothache” he said, “had to see a dentist. It was really scary.” Then he started massaging his cheeks.

“Aww!” I said, “I’m so sorry, dear. Does it still hurt?” Taehyung pouted his lips and nodded.

“Since its already dark,” I continued, “wanna go sky gazing?”

“Yes! Let’s do that.”

We were lying down on our back in the backyard. There were not much stars to be seen. But staring at the empty sky was somewhat peaceful. I was thinking about how my life had turned out, how little I knew about myself and others. It was really overwhelming.

“I’m scared for the first time since I woke up.” I said to Taehyung.

Taehyung looked at me and asked, “Why are you scared of me?”

“I’m not scared of you, silly!” I chuckled, “I’m just scared about the fact that I’m all empty inside.”

“You’re not.” Taehyung’s voice suddenly sounded very serious, “You’re still the same you. It’s just the memories that’s gone.”

“But aren’t memories what make us who we are?” I asked, turning to face him.

“I don’t know. But hey! We can always make new memories.” Taehyung tried to cheer me up, “Why don’t you take it as a fresh start; a new chapter of your life?”

“A new chapter” I whispered, “at least I’m glad I have you guys.”

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Day 7: Yoongi showed his humorous side…

“I can’t believe it’s raining at this time of the season.” Yoongi said. He was a little grumpy today. He had planned to surprise me by taking me to see the local basketball match. But due to bad weather and the fact that the match was to be played in the open, it was cancelled.

“It’s alright, Yoongi!” I put my hand on his shoulder, “take me there some other time. You should be happy that it’s raining or else Nina would have showed up.”

Yoongi gave a fake smile, “Oh yeah! Thank God that Nina is not here today.”

Since we couldn’t find anything interesting to do, we tried to solve an extremely hard puzzle, which exhausted us both. We couldn’t even find any interesting topic to talk about. We were getting bored at a point when Yoongi suggested to make a bucket list each for the next 10 years to come.

I said, “Tae told me last night that it was a new chapter of my life. Making a bucket list sound like a good place to start.”

“So without further ado, let’s get started.” Yoongi bought two pieces of papers and pens for us and we both started to write whatever came to our minds.

“Number one: Go see the Egyptian Pyramid.” I said aloud while writing.

“Number one for me would be going to the city, Barcelona” Yoongi wrote.

So we kept writing. What food we wanted to taste? What classics we wanted to read? How many pets we wanted to own? What our future home would be like? Etc. etc.

“Number 27” I said, “Experience a burning and passionate love.”

Yoongi paused to think his number 27. Then with a smirk, he said, “Help you experience a burning and passionate love.”

We both broke out into laughter. It was rather hilarious hearing a grumpy boy like Yoongi saying something so silly.

< Previous || Next >

My Masterlist

Happy Birthday to my Bunny Boy

Parallel

Fandom: BTS Pairing: Jungkook x Female Reader x Yoongi Warning: It’s extremely angsty, toxic relationship (bit problematic too), physical and emotional abuse, drinking, manipulative behavior?

*************************************************

I look at him in disbelief. “Is it really the Jungkook I fell in love with?” I ask myself.

My cheek hurts from the slap that Jungkook’s hand had just landed on my face. Tears are forming in my eyes. I can’t see him properly through my blurry vision.

Instead who came to my mind was my ex, Yoongi. He was wasted that night. I should have understood and kept quiet. Instead I let my emotions take control of me and shouted at him, causing him to break the empty wine bottle right beside me. Pieces of glass flew to my face. I wasn’t badly hurt. But I was scarred inside. A scar, I knew, would never heal.

I remain silent. I wish I had done that before Jungkook’s anger rose to the point of hitting me.

Jungkook seems to have come back to his senses. He steps toward me, “y/n,” he whispers. I step back. Jungkook’s voice cracks up as he speak, “Are you going to leave now that I’ve done that to you?”

Yoongi, too, had come to me once he was sober. That day, I saw him crying for the first time. He had begged me to stay. He told me, “I’m not what you think I am.”

I answer to Jungkook the same reply I had given Yoongi that day.

“I can’t love someone I’m afraid of.”

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My Masterlist

Note: I don’t know why I keep thinking about such violent scenarios. Personally, I don’t think Jungkook and Yoongi could do such an act. But I had to imagine someone before I make a scene on my mind. Them being my biases, automatically came to my mind first. Forgive me, lord. Forgive me, Jungkook and Yoongi.

Little Things Matter

I know, BTS did honorable things by which they could be remembered in history. But have you noticed the small things (which are not really small if you think about it) that could actually show the kind of persons they really are?

Including sign language as a part of the choreography

Kneeling down while the youngest helps to tie the shoe lace

Recommending a feminist book for which many female idols had received hatred before

Doing every little action the fans request on v live to make them happy

Letting another artist stay in the middle of their performance even though she was okay to step aside

Letting the camera-people have a bite from their food

Picking up an army bomb from the stage and returning it to the fan

Buying slushies/ice creams for all the staffs because it’s crazy hot outside

Calling the fans his hope and vice versa

Helping the staffs to fix the stage lights/cleaning up with them

Requesting the food delivery man to drive safely due to the heavy rain and not to worry about being late

And I can go on and on...

True Self - Part 2

Fandom: BTS Pairing: Idol!Namjoon x Female Reader Genre: Angst with a little fluff Warning: A bit angsty, toxic ARMYs, cyber bullying, swearing etc. Word Count: 1k Words Note: Please bear it in mind that it’s totally fictional. I tried my best to include some of the aspects of Namjoon in here. Personally I think, Namjoon is one of the best men to ever exist. Wish I could do him justice.

Summary: Once you find out that Namjoon is an Idol, you start to see him differently than you did before...

Part 1 - Part 2 - Part 3 [Complete]

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My mother kept denying it saying that Namjoon was trying to prank me until I showed her his profile in Google. It was hard for me to believe it myself at first.

Namjoon told me that he would like to introduce me to his band mates. What? I was going to meet with the biggest band of the world. And I didn’t even know them. I felt like an idiot for never trying out K-pop before.

I spent most of my time streaming their music and other videos which I found too hilarious. I kinda regretted it now for not knowing about these precious gems existing. Now, I could see why people loved BTS from the bottom of their hearts.

The leadership quality in Namjoon was something on another level. He was definitely one of the many reasons of BTS being BTS. I felt somewhat proud for knowing him in person.

One thing that shocked me every time was Namjoon’s ability to produce the most relatable lyrics. Those were the words I had always wanted to say, but better. I felt like, we were one person in mind.

“Does that make him my soul mate?” I thought. Soul mate or not, he was definitely my ideal type; which I had never imagined I would get to meet in real life let alone date him.

I started to see Namjoon in a new light. He was no more just a silly boy who talked about books and nature. He was a superstar, a role model for people to look up to. He was intelligent and artistic. But he was also someone who was out of reach; which I had realized the hard way.

*************************************************

"We were dying to meet you." The one called Hoseok said as soon as Namjoon had introduced me to them.

"Me too!" I said, "I was very excited." Which was partly true. Actually, I was more nervous than excited. I was worried they might find me boring.

Fortunately nothing of the sort happened. I met the Bangtan boys at a restaurant near their house. They had welcomed me and made me very comfortable around them. Soon, we were talking and eating like they had known me for years.

I had learnt that it was extremely rare for them to date anyone because of their busy schedule. They tended to avoid going into relationships to keep it easy.

"But do you know what hyung told me?" Jimin said with a smirk on his face, "He said, ‘Yah, Jimin, I don't think I can keep away from her.’"

"Jimin-ah!" Namjoon yelled at him while the others burst into laughter. I was blushing so hard that I had to cover my face pretending to cough.

At some point, Namjoon had a call and he asked me to excuse him for a moment. When he returned, his face was grave.

"Something came up." He said apologetically, "I’m sorry, darling. I really have to go now."

"It's Okay," I nodded, "Maybe one of the boys can drive me."

It was agreed on that Jin would take me back home. Then, Namjoon left. Even though, we still stayed there for half an hour more, I felt Namjoon's absence every moment. I wasn't enjoying the dinner anymore.

Finally, Jin was giving me a ride as promised. He probably noticed the change in my expression. "You know," he said, "when we said it's hard, we really meant it."

I nodded my head slowly. I understood. It would indeed be hard to date an idol.

*************************************************

“Happy Birthday, darling.” Someone softly placed a kiss on my forehead.

I woke up from the touch and slowly opened my eyes. At first a little blurry, then, I could make up the face in front of me. It was Namjoon. As soon as I recognized him, I pulled him into a tight hug.

“Woah!” He exclaimed, “Hey, calm down. I’m not going anywhere.”

I shook my head as I didn’t let go of him. Namjoon hugged me back and chuckled, “You’re acting like your little sister now.”

I didn’t care. I had met him in person after 2 whole months. We didn’t even get to talk online often. As always, Namjoon was way too busy to make time for our relationship. And I was worried it might fall apart at any time.

“Why didn’t you tell me that you’re coming, huh?” I asked pretending to be furious at him since we had an argument last night.

He put on his best dimple smile and said, “To surprise you, of course.”

“Yeah,” I rolled my eyes, “Showing off how romantic you can get?”

Namjoon spent the whole day with me and my family. Apparently, my mother already knew about his visit, which shocked me since she was incapable of keeping secrets. My little sister was super happy to meet her ‘oppa’ after a long time too. Overall, it was one of the best days I had in a long time.

Namjoon planned a dinner for my birthday at a fancy restaurant. I put on my best dress. I also put on a lot of makeup. When I was finally pleased with my outfit, we sat off for the little date I was longing to have.

The restaurant was beautiful. We got our table at the furthest corner to enjoy some privacy. The food was delicious as well.

“What?” I was completely shocked when Namjoon announced that he was going away tonight.

“I’m really sorry, darling.” He apologized once again, “It was already hard but I still managed to get a day off to celebrate your birthday.”

“I can’t believe it.” I said, “We are meeting after 62 days and you are already leaving in a day.”

“I know it sounds ridiculous.” He tried to laugh it off, “But I promise, next time, I’ll get more time and we’ll go on a long vacation. Does that sound good?”

“Next time!” I whispered.

Namjoon took my hands in his, “I’m really sorry.”

“Can you please stop apologizing already?”

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The threats kept coming one after another and so was the mean comments.

“Why don’t you go die in a ditch, you freak!”

“You’re so fucking ugly that you make me puke.”

“How did you make our handsome Namjoon hyung to fall for you, witch?”

Some reporters had found out about us. Now, the news got leaked into the media. And some of his fans couldn’t accept it.

At first, I was crying at night silently. I was a sensitive person. So, every harsh comment felt like a knife through me. Eventually, I became numb towards the hatred. I stopped posting online. Ultimately, I deleted all my social media accounts.

“Don’t worry, darling.” Namjoon would call every day to console me over the situation, “Nothing’s made official. They’ll get tired of it. It will be over soon.”

“Does it even matter?” I asked once.

“Why are you saying that?” Namjoon’s voice sounded as if he was worried.

“If it takes not making our relationship public for the hatred to go away, that means, we will never be official.”

Namjoon was silent for a moment. Then, I added, “Perhaps someday, it will be over for us as well.”

“Don’t you worry about it, darling.” He said, “We will overcome the struggles.”

I wiped a tear from my cheek, “I wish I was as strong as you.”

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