The Stick Of Truth

The Stick of Truth

Codename: Dovahkiin Part 1!

N.K. is angry at her parents. Not only did they move again, no, but they moved into a snowy hicktown named South Park! She was sure she would hate it there, yet surprisingly she gets to participate in the epic RPG the kids play and falls for the human princess and the elf king. Who is friend, who is foe and which side should she choose?

Main Pairing: New Kid/Kenny McCormick/Kyle Broflovski

Chapter 15: Blame Canada!

When we return to the Elven Kingdom I call out: “Guy’s, council meeting now!”

All, even Cartman, gather around me.

“What is it, queen N.K.?”, asks King Kyle.

“I did a lot of shit for the girls but they still aren’t ready to play with us.”, I begin and hand him over the document from the abortion clinic. “I need to get this translated. Anyone of you can do this?”

Stan reads over Kyle’s shoulder a loud: “Cinq femmes ont sobi un avortement... what language is that?”

“I think it’s French.”, I say.

“It's some kind of strange Orcish.”, Cartman is still full in the RPG. “I've seen this language before... In the Kingdom to the North.”

“Kingdom to the North?”, I repeat confused.

“Oooh, the Kingdom to the North...”, expresses Leo in awe.

“Guys, New Girl here what is the Kingdom to the North?”

“Canada.”, answers me, Princess Kenny.

I blink and then I frown at the guys.

“Are you telling me I have to go to Canada to get this shit to translate?”, I curse annoyed. “I don’t have a passport, I can’t enter another country.”

“You don’t have a passport, big sis?”, ask me Leo suprised, but I can see that all are wondering why I don’t have one.

I cross my arms.

“My parents only like to move around America, they never feel the need to travel to another country. Which sucks because I would love to visit Japan one day.”

It’s still for a few seconds.

“Your parents are weird.”, declares Tammy.

I can only nod in agreement.

Surprisingly Cartman waddles over a toy box and fishes out a passport.

“I’m only doing this since we need this bitches to fight with us, bitch!”, he explains and hands me the passport. “Your name is no longer traitorous lying whore, it is now 'Larry Bobinski', from Cleveland.”

“I will kick your ass another time you hater.”, I promise and put the passport in backbag.

It needs a photo.

So first get a passport photo and then try to find a way to Canada.

“The quickest way to the Kingdom to the North is through the Lost Forest. Head north, then north again. North... a-and then north.”, tells me, Kyle.

I just give him a disbelieving look.

Isn’t Canada like far away from us?

“All right. Who wants to join me?”, I ask aloud.

“It would be an honor to fight with you queen N.K.”, offers King Kyle.

Oh god!

I can help but blush.

Me and Kyle.

Alone.

Adventuring.

Ah!

“It would be my honor if you come with me, King Kyle.”, I managed to get out.

Tammy is wiggling her eyebrows at me. I send her a look.

Stop it, goddammit.

“I would like to come too.”

…Did I hear right?

Surprised I turn to Princess Kenny.

“You want to come with us my lady?”, I can’t help but ask.

The princess nods and sends King Kyle an angry look. The king looks confused back.

…Oh no, don’t tell me this is some jealous shit!

I thought me and Kenny were on the same page that we just have fun together and not more.

Does it me she actually likes me?

Or doesn’t she want any of her friends to be close to me?

Oh god, I already feel a headache form.

In the end, Princess Kenny and King Kyle accompanied me on my quest.

Kyle is civil with the Princess, while she looks ready to scratch his eyes out.

Of course, Kyle is confused about that, but he doesn’t ask what’s going on.

Hopefully, it stays this way.

I don’t need more drama.

I already beat up a fucking pedophile at the Photo Dojo. That motherfucker pretend to be the photograph, but when he started to ask me to take my clothes off I kicked his ass.

Thank god the real photograph was still there, even if bonded in ropes which of course we freed him from, and I got my passport photo.

We are walking through the Lost Forest on our way to Canada.

It’s awkward as hell, I won’t lie.

I would love to get to know Kyle better and joke around with Kenny, but the vibes that are going on stop me.

Damn, if this will be like this if I don’t make a decision then I can invest in a lot of anti-headache pills.

“There is the border.”, brings me King Kyle’s voice back from my thoughts.

There really is standing a lonely Mountie on the border control.

….Something weird is going on.

Colorado doesn’t border on Canada, what is with Wyoming and Montana? Did the Lost Forest make us walk through two whole states?!

I ask how, HOW, is this possible.

It’s then that the Mountie sees us, calling out: “HALT! This is as far as you go, buddy! Ahead of you lies the great kingdom of Canada! It is accessible only to the most noble and valiant of people.”

Wordlessly we three hand him our passports.

“Ah, I see you kids have each a passport! The papers appear to be in order. Very well, I hereby grant thee access to the great nation of Canada! OPEN THE GATE!”

Nothing happens.

We deadpan at the Mountie. Dude, you are all alone who should do it if not you?

“Oh, I'll do it. Hold on. There we go.”

The gate is open and we step foot in Canada.

Okay, now it gets, even more, weirder and crazier.

All looks suddenly so pixel-y, like an old NES RPG.

…What kind of drugs I am on? And who gave me drugs in the first place?

“I’m not the only one who sees this?”, I ask my two buddies.

“Meh, Canada was always weird.”, tells Kenny.

Kyle nods in agreement.

I raise an eyebrow.

“You have been here before?”

They both nod but don’t say more.

Ooookkkkkaaaaayyyy.

Let’s just roll with it and get this done.

We enter the city of Ottowa, making our way to the big ass mansion there.

In it, we get to meet the Prince and Princess of Canada. Didn’t know Canada was still a monarchy, but whatever.

The prince tells us to seek out the Earl of Winnipeg, who knows where the langue of the document aka. French is spoken.

He also warns us of Dire Wolves in the wilderness of Canada.

You know what Dire Wolves are, right?

They are like wolves…only Dire.

So we make our way to Winnipeg.

It doesn’t take us long since it’s practically on the left.

Isn’t Canada a bigass country?

Why is all so convenient near us?

Questions over questions and no answers in sight.

Maybe it’s better I stop questioning things since I will probably turn crazy in trying to find an answer.

The Earl of Winnipeg only wants to help us, after we kill the Dire Bears, who roam the city.

You know what Dire Bears are right?

I and my two crushes take care of them fast. We three make a good team.

Polyamory!

Shut up, brain not right now!

After we hand the Earl of Winnipeg the Dire Bear Pelts, he tells us that the document is written in the language of Eastern Canadian. The Minister of Montreal can translate it. But lucky as we are the Prince of Canada imprisoned the Minister of Montreal in the caverns of Quebec.

Why simply, when it can be complicated?

Back to the Prince also.

“I can’t believe we have to assassinate the Bishop of Banff so we can get out the Minister of Montreal!”, I shout.

Here we go again with fucked up shit.

“The Prince of Canada doesn’t seem like to change his mind.”, signs Princess Kenny.

“Maybe we will find another way?”, wonders King Kyle.

“Let’s talk with the Bishop.”, I tell them. “I don’t wanna kill someone. Maybe he has an idea.”

We reach Banff and go to the church, where the Bishop is praying.

“Excuse me, Father?”, I call out to him. “We need to talk to you urgently.”

“Oh three young Americans, how can I help you with? Someone of you wants to get married to the other?”, he really asks us.

We all turn red.

“Erm no, we are all just friends.”

I feel how Kenny is literally burning me with her look.

There I have my answers.

Kenny wants more.

Oh, dear.

Meanwhile, Kyle shyly looks at me.

….Wait! I know that look!

Kyle is into me too?!

OH MY LORD, THEY BOTH WANT ME?!

I would lie if this is not an enormous ego boost, but it complicates things just.

Polyamory, Polyamory!

Will you shut up brain?!

This will never work!

“Oh I see, so what seems the trouble children?”, wants the Bishop to know.

“The Prince of Canada wants to assassinate you.”, I explain, while he gasp scarred. “He wants as a probe for your death your balls.”

“Then I'll go away, the Prince will never know I'm alive. Please. Take these dire pig testicles, and tell the Prince they're mine.”

He holds out to me the pig testicles.

Disgusted I reach out to grab them, yet Princess Kenny is faster and takes them.

“A queen shouldn’t touch something like this.”, she simply says at my questioning look.

I hear Kyle mumbling something like not bad dude.

Oh god, they will not start to compete with each other!

Or?!

The Bishop is happy that he gets to live and we return to the Prince of Canada.

As it turns out the Prince is a giant asshole and won’t free the Minster of Montreal. Since without him and the Bishop he is now free do to as he pleases.

Before I can kick his royal ass, he leaves.

Fucker!

At least the Princess wants to help. She tells us to speak with the Duke of Vancouver. He can help us to get into the Catacombs of Quebec. She hands me a letter I shall give him.

Okay, then let’s go to Vancouver.

Did you think we finally can enter the catacombs and free the Minister after speaking with the Duke?

Yes?

Then you will be disappointed.

The Duke tells us to brave the Catacombs of Quebec we need to learn sorcery from some Monks who live in Vancouver.

How the heck could monks help us with this?!

I regret my words when we meet the monks.

They are nonother than Terrance and Phillip!

Gaah!

I wanna fangirl so bad!

“Who are you?”, ask me, Terrance.

I can’t get any word out, I’m too busy not to scream from happiness and ask sobbing for an autograph.

“Perhaps she is the American everyone is talking aboot, Terrance.”, guesses Phillip.

“Nah can't be. She can't be a master of spellcraft, she doesn't even know magic.”

“She probably doesn't even know how to fart.”

….So they wanna see some farts?

I never thought I would be this glad to have learned so many farts, but right now I am.

I show them my Dragenshout, Cup-A-Spell, and Sneaky Squeaker.

“Very impressive.”, praises Phillip. “She is worthy of our training after all.”

“Yes.”, agree Terrance. “Prepare thyself, child. It is time for you to learn some TRUE magic.”

And then they fart on me!

I won’t lie I’m only not offended and totally disgusted because TERRANCE AND PHILLIP FARTED ON ME!

THAT’S SO COOL!

THESE ARE BRAGGING RIGHTS!

I faint and wake up in an all-white room.

Terrance and Phillip look like they belong to the Matrix Trilogy.

So cool.

They teach me this powerful fart named Nagasaki.

After I master it, we are back in their cabin and they become even my Facebook friends!

That’s better than an autograph!

With a bow to my fart senseis, I drag Kyle and Kenny Catacombs of Quebec.

Nagasaki clears the way which was blocked by a boulder and after we killed some Dire Animals, we finally find the Minister of Montreal.

We free him.

He shouts something happily in French.

I guess probably something like I’m free.

“Erm Monsieur, can you translate this?”, I ask him, hoping he at least understands English.

Thank the lord he does.

The Minister is really a good fella, as Leo would say. Fast he translates the documents and then adds me as a Facebook friend.

We are finally done here in Canada!

Back to the girls now.

Tammy joined me again at the Secret Base of the fourth-grade girls and get help herself to tease me that I was alone with Kenny and Kyle.

I can tell her 100000 times that nothing happened, besides me realizing that both boys seem to like me a lot, Tam is having too much fun to make me blush…with her ideas.

I formally hiss at her to be quiet since the fourth-grade girls are reading now the translated document.

Even if I hate all this straight drama, I worked my ass off to get this done.

I wanna know too who is this two-faced bitch.

It’s a cute girl named Heidi Turner.

They call her really bad names and at the same moment forgive her since she is sorry.

Again I can only facepalm at this stupidy.

I’m done with them.

At least they finally, FINALLY, will join us in our fight.

A salute them and drag Tammy out with me.

Before we rejoin the boys I need some time alone with my best friend.

We decide to sit on a park bench, and just enjoy the sun rays on our skin. I lay with my head on Tammy’s lap, while she pets my hair.

She is humming a small melody.

It’s so relaxing.

“I wish you weren’t straight.”, I mumbled to her. “Then I would just date you and don’t have this problem with Kenny and Kyle.”

Tammy laughs.

“I feel honored, but N.K., is it really so difficult to decide whom you like better?”

“I like them equally, that never happened before. Maybe I just should let it be. If I can’t decide it isn’t meant to be.”

I hear how she takes out her phone and tips something at it.

“Mmh, why don’t you try polyamory?”, she actually says to me! “I have googled your problem and all say love triangles are shit and polyamory is the best solution. You know, it is interesting. You can just date both and no problem.”

“Besides that, both maybe don’t want that?”

“Beside that.”

Should I say it?

Well, if I can’t tell Tammy then I can’t tell no one.

“Me dating Kyle and Kenny at the same time is nice but…even nicer would be if we all just dated each other, but this will never happen since both are straight and I don’t think they would go for each other.”

After my confession, Tammy is quiet for a few seconds till she mumbles: “You know…Kyle and Kenny together sounds hot. I’m getting all tingling.”

“That’s Yaio.”

“Huh?”

“BoysXBoys love, a manga genre. Yuri is GirlsXGirls.”, I explain.

“Ah right, you wanted to explain that.”

Again silence is over us.

“N.K. the only advice I can give you if you won’t try out polyamory, just stay friends with the boys till you have more feelings for one of them.”

I sign, but I nod.

Maybe that’s for the best.

My perfect fantasy of us three dating each other is just that.

A fantasy.

I stand up, helping Tammy from the bench.

“Let’s go to the boys.”

We are back in the Elven Kingdom and I told King Kyle that the girls stopped being difficult and have joined us.

Happily, he announces to anyone: “Everyone listens up! The girls have agreed to fight by our side!”

“Huzzah!”, all scream relieved.

“The pirates and the Federation factions are standing by to fight as well, my Lord!”, informs Stan.

“Then the time for talk is over!”, proclaims Cartman. “Let us all make haste to CLYDE'S HOUSE!”

“Let’s kick his ass! This will be an epic beat-down!”, I add.

With battle screams, we all run out of the Elven Kingdom.

We are coming for you, Clyde!

Say goodbye to your power and the Stick of Truth!

Next

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The Woe’s of a Fanfiction Writer

Welcome to my second blog where I just complain about how it is to be a Fanfiction Writer, waiting for reviews that never come and doubting

Friendly Faces Everywhere

Codename Dovahkiin Part 2

Now that the Stick of Truth RPG is over it's time for N.K. to face the normal everyday life of South Park.

She should have known nothing in South Park is ever normal!

Day to day the craziness of this supposed quiet little mountain town she has to combat now.

Thank god, she has Tammy, Wendy, her boys, and her Social Media/Magical Girl Powers on her side.

This gonna be a wild ride!

Main Pairing: New Kid/Kenny McCormick/Kyle Broflovski

Chapter 5: Heartbreaks

After the whole Inquisitor business, we had a day off from school and I used it to hang out with my female friends.

I’m pretty proud of them.

They are turning into little feminists.

It’s a joy to see that.

We decide to all get tickets for the Woman of Rock concert in Denver this Saturday. That will be amazing! I know it!

Yeah, so we had a nice and calm day.

When school was back the next day a pissed Kyle walked past my locker. I was about to go to Tammy’s locker, but I can’t let one of my friends/crush be like that.

“Hey Kyle what’s wrong?”, I call after him.

Good thing he stops and turns to me.

“Morning N.K., did you have a nice day off?”

I walk up to him and place a hand on his shoulder.

“I hung out with the girls, we had a nice day. You, my friend, look like some spit into your cereals.”

Kyle makes a face and explains: “You know I have a little brother. Ike?”

“Mhm-Mhm.”

“Well, I got the new Call of Duty and wanted to play with him, but he rather watches some dude named PewDiePie play it on his computer.”

“What is a PewDiePie?”, I ask confused.

“He's this guy from Sweden who has over 30 million YouTube subscribers. That dude is a big celebrity with kids these days.”

It makes klick in my head.

“Oh, he is a Let’s Player isn’t he?”

Kyle looks surprised at me.

“You know that, but you don’t know him?”

“I look sometimes at youtube videos if I don’t know how to solve a riddle in one of my video games for example.”, I explain to him. “Youtube is full of Let’s Players, but I never really gave them any attention. I just look for a solution if I’m stuck on continuing on playing. Don’t care who gives me that.”

“I wish Ike would do the same thing. He…just watched this PewDiePie play the games he should play with me and doesn’t care anymore.”, he signs defeated.

“Are you jealous, Ky?”

“Maybe a bit. I just want to spend time with my little brother. He can be a little shit, but I love him.”

My heart gets all warm and I want to hug Kyle to death. That’s so sweet!

I look around and find what I need right now.

Janitor’s closet.

I take Kyle’s hand, ignore his questions about what I’m doing, and lead him into it. I close it behind us.

Kyle is clearly confused, till I wrap my arms around his neck, hugging him to me. Now he is red like a tomato but hugs me back.

“N.K.?”

“I know I said that I wanted us all to stay friends and maybe it’s really not fair to Kenny but…you are so hot and cute when you talk about how much you love your brother. I dig it so much, someone who cares for his family. Do you mind if I kiss you, Ky?”

I can’t even look so fast as Kyle plants clumsy his lips on mine. I grin because of his enthusiasm and his clear lack of experience.

The red-haired boy feels this and takes his lips from me.

“Was this bad? Or too eager?”, he asks unsure.

 “It was perfect, now come here.”

I kiss him now.

Our lips slot together and slowly I show him how to kiss right. Our lips meet and part in a hot dance, till I’m sure he can handle it and lick along his lips.

Like a good boy, Kyle opens his mouth to me and we explore each other mouth.

He is a damn fast learner, I give him that.

I’m enjoying myself greatly and I hope he does too. The way he moans as we got more…handsy with each other is a good indicator that he is having the time of his life.

That’s when Kyle gets bolder. Shit! I had a feeling that Kyle is a top. Now I’m the one who moans and has weak knees.

Normally I prefer to top, but as he kisses along my throat, feeling his hands everywhere I have to admit to being a sub to him isn’t all that bad.

It’s amazing and an experience I can only recommend.

“Kyle!”, I moan as he sucks a practically sensible spot on my neck. “I would love to continue. Oh shit, baby, right there! Ah! But, but the school bell.-“

“Lay down.”

Huh?

Drunk on my hormones I blink at him.

The Kyle I see now turns me even more on. His beautiful green eyes have a spark in them I never saw and that smirk! Fuck, it’s hot.

He plants a kiss on my lips.

“Lay down, N.K. I don’t care if we miss the first hour, I’m not done with you. I waited so long to have you with me, dream about it, I’m not letting this chance waste.”, he confesses to me and his burning look could set me on fire right here right now.

I let out a whine and do as he says.

Let’s just say we missed the first hour completely and he had to put a hand on my mouth or I would have moaned so loudly that we would have been caught.

10 to 10 can only recommend skipping school and being with a fiery redhead in a janitor’s closet.

My satisfied smile doesn’t leave me, even after I got detention for missing the first lesson and didn’t have an excuse, to when all girls sat together at lunch break.

All my friends look confused and worried at me.

Wendy leans over to Tammy and whisper-shouts: “What’s wrong with her, her smile is creeping me out.”

“I don’t know. She missed the first lesson and then came the second lesson grinning like that.”, whisper–shouts Tammy back.

“N.K. hun, we love you, but stop it with the Joker smile.”, begs me, Bebe, while all our friends agree.

“I’m just happy, why is my smile creeping you out?”

“Why is your voice all raspy?”, wants Heidi to know. “It’s like…I don’t know?”

“Like she screamed really loud?”, means Red, eating her Mac and Cheese, pointedly not looking at me so she can’t see my apparently creepy smile.

“Yeah, like this.”

Nichole seems to analyze me formally, till she has a conclusion and gasps.

“Someone got down on you, didn’t they, N.K.?!”

Caught I blush crimson red and my friends’ chins meet the floor.

“You are kidding!”, shrieks Annie.

“Damn girl!”, applauds me Red.

“Who was it?!”, demands Bebe to know, while Wendy, Tammy, and Heidi just stare at me. I’m imagining things or does Heidi look sad?

“First of all that’s not the first time someone got down on me!”, I make clear. This earns me surprised gasps and damn girl. “Nor it’s not the first time I got down on someone and can you stop acting all shocked? Thanks. I’m just high on endorphins, that’s why I smile so. Also, it was one of my crushes so…”

“Oh my god, it was Kenny wasn’t it?!”, guesses Bebe.

I can’t help the smirk and drink my glass of water like the thirsty hoe I am.

“No…Kyle?!”, gasp Tammy and all my friends are losing it.

“Kenny and I had our moment when we played Stick of Truth and well today I had it with Kyle.”, I explain.

My friends are losing clearly their shit, only Heidi looks sadder any second.

Huh?

“Heidi?”, I call her. “Is something wrong?”

“N-No…I’m just not hungry anymore.”

She stands up from the table with her tablet.

“I will just…throw this away and maybe hang out at the library.”

We look after her all worried and confused.

“What is with Heidi?”, wonders Annie.

“Never saw her like that.”, agrees Nichole.

“Let’s give her time. Now N.K. you have to tell us all about how good Kenny and Kyle are, I’m dying over here!”, begs me, Bebe.

I roll my eyes but I explain in detail my two…let’s call it adventures with the boys.

After I’m done all look really bothered and red in the face.

“Damn, sis, I don’t want to be in your shoes right now.”, tells Tammy. “This makes it only more complicated whom you should pick.”

…Oh fuck didn’t think about that.

“You didn’t even think about that, huh?”, deadpans Wendy at me.

I groan and let my head fall on the table.

“My thirstiness once again fucked me.”

“At least you got two times good oral fucked before.”

“Bebe!”

“I’m just saying, Wends!”

At the end of the school day, I manage to catch Kenny alone at his locker.

“My princess.”, I call for him. “Can we talk for a second?”

“Hey N.K., what’s up?”, he asks as he puts some books in his backbag.

I sign, nervously rubbing my neck.

“Kenny I…Oh fuck, how do I say this?”

Kenny just titles his head cutely.

“You remember our little…erm…romantic getaway while we played Stick of Truth? After we freed Craig from detention?”  

He stares a second at me, till I hear how he snorts. “Nice description of us both giving the other head.”

“Kenneth, keep it down!”, I hiss. “It’s not anyone’s business.”

“Sure thing babe, why are you asking me that? Wanna go again? Choose me over Kyle?”

I can clearly hear the hopefulness in his jesting tone.

Oh fuck.

Why can’t I control myself better?

What I’m gonna tell him, will surely break his heart.

POLYAMORY!

Brain, not now!

I take all my courage I have to confess: “Actually…me and Kyle had today such a moment. That’s why he was late for class.”

It’s still between us.

A really bad stillness.

I don’t like it one bit.

“So…you choose Kyle? Did you want to tell me that?”, guesses Kenny in such a sad and defeated tone, that I get tears in my eyes. I feel his pain. “Can’t blame you. Kyle is good-looking, smart, and well-off. He can treat you better than I ever could.”

Before he can walk away I grip him by his shoulders.

“Kenny, Kenneth, my princess, that say such things. I told you this because I said we should stay friends and then I got horny and forgot it. I’m at fault here. I like you so much Kenny, I really do, but I like Kyle too. I can’t decide because I’m greedy and want you both.”, I tell him.

“Both? Like at the same time?”, he asks wondering. “Like a harem or what?”

“More like polyamoures relantenship. It’s when three or more people date each other.”, I correct. “But I know I can’t demand that from Kyle and you. You both are straight and don’t have feelings for each other. I will tell this Kyle too and not persuade anyone of you. I rather stay friends with you both than lose one of you. Forgive me, Kenny.”

With that dramatically I leave him.

Tears falling down my cheeks.

Why had this come to this?

It’s Saturday night and our whole girl squad with our mothers are at the Woman of Rock concert.

The atmosphere is amazing and Miley Cyrus slays, yet I can’t enjoy this.

I’m thinking about the heartbreak I inflicted on Kenny and Kyle. All because I’m greedy, chasing after something I can never have.

Both of them.

All my friends and our moms are having the time of their life, only I am the sad one.

Without enthusiasm, I dance and sing along to the songs.

That’s when I see how Heidi is walking in the direction of the food stands.

“Where is Heidi going?”, I yell at Tammy.

“She said she is thirsty.”, she answers yelling back.

Well…it’s not like I have anything better do to. Maybe talking with Heidi and eating a hotdog is better.

I tell my Mamma that I’m going to get something to eat, then I reach Heidi as she buys herself a Pepsi.

I didn’t see it before but…Heidi also looks like she rather be somewhere else than here.

Kinda like me.

“Hey, Heidi. The concert isn’t that great for you too, huh?”

She drinks her Pepsi, not looking at me.

“Yeah, I thought I would enjoy it, but I just can’t stop to think.”

“I feel you.”, I admit. “Wanna talk about it?”

Heidi shrugs her shoulders but agrees. I get myself something to drink too and a hotdog and we sit down at one of the tables.

“You still hung up on Kyle and Kenny?”, she ask me directly.

I sign.

“I told them both that I called it off.”

“Called it off?”

“Heidi, I’m a greedy bitch who wants Kyle and Kenny at the same time. Polyamoures relationship, do you remember I explained to you guys this the other day or so? I know that both will never agree to that since they are straight, so I put an end to this. I will stay just friends with them.”

My brunette friend humms and then looks at me with sad eyes.

Why is she sad?

“But you still like them.”

“That will probably never change.”, I confess, trying to keep my tears at bay.

Kyle and Kenny are both one in a million. I never felt a connection with someone as I feel it with them.

But it’s a pointless dream.

“You know I have a crush.”, startles me Heidi with her own confession. I blink at her, while she smiles bittersweet. “But my crush doesn’t seem to realize this.”

“Then he is an idiot.”

“She.”

…WHAT?!

“Don’t look that shocked…your lessons helped me realize that I actually like girls too.”, she admins, playing with her cup. “And now I have this crush on this amazing girl, yet she doesn’t see it, because she has her own drama going on.”

I just look at Heidi. My gut is telling me I know who she is talking about.

I reach for her hand, squeezing it.

“I never meant to hurt you too! I’m sorry I didn’t see you Heidi.”, I apologize heartfully.

She blushes red like a tomato and looks down.

“You had Kenny and Kyle on your mind.”

“That’s not an excuse to treat you badly. Heidi, you are one of my best friends. Yes, I’m hung up on Kenny and Kyle, but you mean a lot to me too.”

“Don’t give me hope, please.”, she cries silently.

I wipe away her tears and caress her cheek.

“Heidi listen. I thought about asking you out, but I didn’t because of this whole Kenny and Kyle disaster. But I put an end to this. It has no future. But…I can imagine a future with you.”

Now she gasps, crying even more.

“You wanna go out with me tomorrow?”, I ask her. “I will totally understand after all this if you don’t want to.”

She is still for a few seconds till she answers: “I—I would like this very much.”

I can’t help but smile and give her a little kiss on the cheek. Heidi blushes even more.

My heart feels a bit lighter.

Maybe that is what I need right now to get over Kenny and Kyle.

A real date with someone I like and only like them.

Heidi and I return holding hands back to the concert.

Well, the concert ended in a flop as Lorde started to rub her clit in front of us all.

Never so fast did my Mamma pick me up and got me home.

I’m now in my room, telling Tammy on the phone about my date with Heidi tomorrow.

“Not that I’m happy for you that you still wanna date.”, she begins. “But is this really the best way, if you still like Kenny and Kyle?”

“I never said I didn’t like Heidi!”

“Yeah, I know. You said that you would hit her or Bebe up. I’m just…worried okay? For you and for her. Don’t get into a relationship only because you can’t have Kenny and Kyle together. That wouldn’t be fair to Heidi.”

We talk till bedtime about this. I can understand Tammy, I really do, but I also really like Heidi.

I want to try.

Sunday evening approaches fast and it’s time for my date with Heidi.

I picked this time a red dress, with a rose hairband and black shoes.

We agreed on I would pick her up for our date.

I knock on her door and her father opens.

“Hello N.K.”

“Hello Mr. Turner, is Heidi ready?”

“In a moment, little lady. Look I’m gonna be straight with you, I always thought my daughter would bring a boy home, so I’m a bit confused about what to do.”, he tells me. “I know you both are good friends already and treating you to hurt you if you hurt her…hasn’t the same effect since you are a girl and I don’t think you are like the horny boys in your age group…so…just be good to my daughter all right?”

I give it to Mr. Turner he is at least trying. A lot of parents should be like this. Supportive.

“Don’t worry Mr. Turner Heidi is first and foremost my friend, even if this wouldn’t work out I would do anything to stay her friend because I like her.”, I say to him.

“Good, that’s good, little lady. Heidi! N.K. is here.”, he calls back into the house.

“Coming Dad!”

Seeing Heidi in her pretty floral dress makes all doubts vanish from my mind.

I smile big at her and she smiles the same way back at me.

I greet her with a little cheek kiss, taking her hand.

Yes, this is the right decision.

Hand in hand Heidi and I walk into school. We giggle and smile, ignoring the shocked looks of most people.

We walk up to our friend group, who is standing around Bebe’s locker. All are smiling back at us.

At least our friends are on our side.

“Since you both shine bright like diamonds, I assume your date went well?”, it’s a rhetorical question from Tammy.

I wrap my arm around Heidi’s shoulder and kiss the crown of her head. All our friends coo.

“Yeah, we are dating!”, I proclaim.

Our friends start to congratulate us, as I hear Cartmen’s voice: “Oh look at that, the thirsty hoe, got herself a little lesbian. Tired of sucking dicks, huh, bitch!”

I turn around to smash my fist in his stupid face…only to blink at the little commentator window above us, like in a Let’s Play.

“What the fuck Cartman!”

“What is this shit, now?”, adds Wendy, as the other girls agree.

“It’s called commenting. Not that a hippie like you would know, Wendy.”

“Fuck off, Fatass!”, I growl. “Or I will make you.”

“And how-“

I’m not letting him finish.

I jump high in the air and smash my fist against it.

The commentary window is gone.

All aww at me, while Heidi says proudly: “That’s my girlfriend!”

One good thing about this strange ability Cartman now has is that since I destroyed it, people don’t really react anymore to Heidi and me, they ask me to please destroy Cartman’s commentary window when it pops up.

It’s satisfying seeing fatass getting madder at me for any window I destroy.

Still, I wonder how he got that power all of a sudden.

Well, if he plans to get world domination this way I will stop him with my Magical Girl Powers.

For now, I will enjoy my new relationship with Heidi.

As I escort her to her classroom, I see Kenny and Kyle who look at me with…longing I would say.

I ignore them and kiss Heidi’s forehead as a goodbye.

It’s better this way.

Next

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The Woe’s of a Fanfiction Writer

Welcome to my second blog where I just complain about how it is to be a Fanfiction Writer, waiting for reviews that never come and doubting

Friendly Faces Everywhere

Codename Dovahkiin Part 2

Now that the Stick of Truth RPG is over it's time for N.K. to face the normal everyday life of South Park.

She should have known nothing in South Park is ever normal!

Day to day the craziness of this supposed quiet little mountain town she has to combat now.

Thank god, she has Tammy, Wendy, her boys, and her Social Media/Magical Girl Powers on her side.

This gonna be a wild ride!

Main Pairing: New Kid/Kenny McCormick/Kyle Broflovski

Chapter 8: Why is it all so complicated?

Kenny and I are waiting before school for Heidi to talk about being a polycule.

I will be truthful to you guys.

I’m nearly pissing my pants.

This could end badly in so many ways, that I’m really thinking about just to call all off.

I’m happy with Heidi, I can change this future I saw or hallucinated.

Why should I have more?

Because sometimes you fall in love and can’t stop it.

I love Heidi.

I love Kenny.

I also love Kyle, but he is right now not here or wants to be part of it as it seems.

What I try to say is, my feelings won’t go away.

I can’t let go, because they are true and pure and intense.

Never in my eleven years on Earth, I would have thought I would have such drama in my love life so young.

I thought in High School this shit was about to happen.

Shows again how unnormal I am.

At least I’m not alone…Kenny is unnormal too.

I wonder if I have seen him die and don’t remember it. He didn’t tell me this.

I really hope I don’t have to choose between Kenny and Heidi.

I…I just can’t.

Finally, we see Heidi arriving. She looks curious, yet worried.

I wonder what she is thinking.

I hope that she doesn’t think I want to break up with her to be with Kenny because that’s totally not it!

“Hey Heidi.”, I greet. “Thanks for coming this early here to talk.”

My girlfriend nods.

“Of course. You sounded like you were dying. Also…what do you and Kenny want to talk about?”

Kenny and I look at each other. He gives me an encouraging nod.

Right, it’s the best I talk.

So slowly and carefully I explain to Heidi what is going on.

That I love her, but I still love Kenny and Kyle.

That Kenny loves me back and would be even okay with it if I date her and him at the same time or also that we all date each other.

When I finish talking I feel like throwing up.

It doesn’t get better seeing Heidi’s tears in her eyes.

“You know…I had a feeling…I felt that you never stopped to love Kenny and Kyle.”, she sniffles and I just want to hug her and never let her go. Hurting Heidi was never an option for me, yet here we are. “I’m not enough?”

“You are enough!”, I yelled desperately.

“Yet you still want the boys too. N.K., I don’t know if I can do this. Polyamory is not for everyone.”

“Heidi, love, look-“

“No.”, she interrupts me. “Don’t choose me because you don’t want to hurt me. Even if we stay together…you would still love Kenny and Kyle…right?”

What else can I do than nod?

My girlfriend signs heavily, wiping away her tears.

“I…need some time to think about it…Can we have a break, N.K.?”

Saying I’m not hurt by it is an understatement, but I will give Heidi as much time as she wants.

Why do I have a feeling my whole life will change when Heidi makes her decision?

A whole week passes by.

I stay mostly with Tammy away from our fourth-grade friends, since Heidi is with them. I told Kenny that till Heidi tells us her decisions, it would be better if we stayed just friends too.

No one shall make a move on the other.

Kyle gets invited to the White House and gets a medal for his speech about Caitlyn Jenner being a hero.

Also, we have suddenly a lot of Canadien students in our school.

Today at lunch I and Tammy watch fascinating how our new classmate and friend Emma puts so much maple syrup on her pancakes, that you can’t even recognize them anymore.

“You wanna have a taste, buddy?”, the red-haired girl ask us with a light French accent.

She comes from Quebec, yes the Quebec like in the caverns Kenny, Kyle, and I enter to free the Minister of Montreal, and there they speak French apparently.

Canada is so weird, guys.

“No thanks, Emma.”, answers Tammy for us. “Enjoy your pancakes.”

Which she did with gusto.

Well, no judgment from me. I could eat my Mamma Lasagne any day.

Anyway, it’s nice to have a new friend and learn more about Canada.

The next day, P.C. Principal with some of our Canadien students what us to show a play about Canadian history, only for Mr. Garrison to come in and be a grand dick.

I want to point out that all Americans, besides the Native Americans, came from immigrants, who took this country away from the people who truly were born here.

Garrison and all his possy who are against immigrants are so two-faced.

But okay telling P.C. Principal he has a pizza face and sucks his mom's dick was funny.

Not so funny was saying to the Canadien that they should be all fucked to death.

No wonder, that even Emma didn’t want to talk to me and Tammy.

She stormed out of school with her Canadian friends.

I’m thinking if I somehow can fix this mess with a good hashtag on social media when I hear my fourth-grade male friends talking.

“Are you serious!”, I walk over to them, Tammy right behind me. “You want that Leo puts an Romeo and Juilette’s a Canadian girl, how is this going to work?”

“Didn’t they die at the end?”

“Yes, Tammy, they died at the end because both were stupid teenagers who couldn’t like wait a few seconds and check the pulse of their supposed death love.”

“I don’t wanna die!”, whines Leo.

“You aren’t going to die, Butters!”, tells him Cartman. “You just have to date a Canadien girl nothing more.”

“Guys, we aren’t playing Stick of Truth. You can’t unite two countries with two fourth graders.”

“Do you have a better plan, Douchebag?!”

I take out my phone and start tipping.

“Watch and learn my young Padawans.”

I admit, I greatly understatement the stupidity of my fellow Americans. Garrison has already a lot of support, that my Hashtags CanadaIsOurFriend and CanadaAmericaUnity aren’t trending as much as they should.

Or my powers are broken.

So poor Leo was forced to ask out a Canadien girl named Charlotte.

From what I have seen of her she is cute.

Still, it pisses me off that Leo has to do this and my Social Media Powers are fucking with me.

“Have you tried to turn yourself off and on again?”, asks me Tammy, the smartass.

We are in my room, she is laying on my bed reading Naruto, while I stare in anger at all my social media on my computer.

I can’t figure out what is wrong!

“Haha, so funny.”, I fake-laugh and click like possed on the reblog and retweet buttons to get my Hashtags rolling. “My powers are fucking with me when I need them.”

“Last week you seemed to have lost your fighting spirit and now it’s back. You didn’t tell me what happened exactly.”

So I do.

Besides Kenny’s curse, I tell Tammy anything.

After I’m done Tammy suddenly sits up and stares with wide eyes at me.

“N.K., what if your powers are influenced by your emotions? How you tried to transform?”

“I haven’t…”

“Then do it now!”

I try to find the energy in myself to transform, but…there is nothing.

“Tammy, you might be on something!”, I tell her.

“Transforming also doesn’t work. N.K. currently you are under a lot of emotional stress maybe it blocks all your powers and that’s why your Social Media Powers and your Magical Girl Form don’t work.”

Desperate I let myself fall into her arms.

“This is such bullshit, Tammy! I barely know anything about my powers and they seem to always fuck me over.”

“Have you tried talking with your parents about it?”, softly she strokes my hair.

“Whenever I try, they block or change the subject.”

“I wish we could go…I don’t know in some secret lab and try to find something about your powers!”

…Wait…

I stand up and lead her out of my room.

When she asks me what I’m doing, I tell her that maybe we can find some clues in my parent’s stuff. For that we need to go into the basement and then the cellar.

The next day’s Tammy and I fight our way through lots and lots of documents.

So much I didn’t know…so much I’m learning.

But all is pointing in one direction.

Washington D.C.

Where I was born.

How the fuck should we get there?

While we were occupied with that, Mr. Garrison apparently raped the Canadien President to death and all our Canadien friends return home.

Mr. Garrison is in so high spirits that he actually tries to run for president.

Hah, if he wins I will call fatass a whole day only Eric!

So there is only one thing left after this days.

I get a message from Heidi, asking me to meet her at the playground.

As I see her sitting on the swing, slowly, swinging back and forth, I have my answers.

“You…break up with me?”, nonetheless I ask, trying to not cry like a baby.

Heidi stops swinging and stands up.

Tears are in her eyes too.

“I love you N.K. and being with you were the best weeks of my life.”, she whispers like she is scared she will disturb the silence of the night.

Only the stars are witnesses of our heartbreaks.

“But you…you still will break up with me.”

“I…I want someone that treats me and only me as his or hers anything.”, she admits, looking down at the ground.

Both our tears are making it wet.

“I don’t think I can be part of a polycule, I don’t want to share. I know you would stay only with me, but you will never stop loving Kenny and Kyle. I can’t force you to love only me. Like you can’t force me to try to love someone beside you or share you.”

I bit my lips and nodded.

“So…this is it?”

“This is it…”

A river of tears falls down my cheeks. My heart feels destroyed, yet also freed.

Heidi was sincere with me.

And I have to accept that I can’t have my perfect ending.

Because perfect doesn’t exist.

“We can still be friends…”, Heidi trails off.

I let out a little huff and smile bittersweet at her.

“I love you Heidi, I can’t jump back to being a friend. Maybe in the future but for the next weeks…”

“No, I get it.”

With this, she turns around to walk home.

“Goodbye N.K., thank you for the love you gave me. You will be forever my first love. I will never forget our time together. I…I wish you and Kenny the best…and I hope Kyle will love you both.”

“I wish you find someone who will give you the happiness you deserve Heidi. I’m devasted that I couldn’t be it.”

Heidi gives me one last smile and then she walks away.

Like I’m a statue I stay in place at the playground, watching her go, crying for us.

Slowly it starts to rain.

I’m cold and wet, but I just can’t seem to move.

I close my eyes and face the sky.

The raindrops are like the caress of a lover.

The perfect end doesn’t exist, I remind myself.

This night I dream again.

I dream about a beautiful older Heidi, holding a pretty red-haired boy in her arms.

He isn’t Alexander or the child I was pregnant with from my other dream. I just know it.

Kenny joins her side with Layla and Naomi, as Kyle and Alexander take my hands to go to join our family.

This…this is my perfect happy ending.

Impossible and beautiful.

I wake up, staring at my ceiling.

New tears roll down my cheeks.

It’s like he knew that something was wrong as my window opens slowly and Mysterion pokes his head in.

He doesn’t say anything.

His look is enough.

I reach out with one hand to him.

Not a second later he is beside me in bed, hugging me to his chest, humming a small melody to calm me down.

We stay like this, till the first rays of the sun.

We fall asleep, embraced, and together.

I lost Heidi…but Kenny won’t leave me.

Maybe I don’t need perfect.

Maybe I just need someone who can love like me and love me.

I’m not crying you are. *blows in my tissues*

I’m sorry that N.K. and Heidi broke up, but Heidi seems to me like someone who can’t love more than one person.

Well at least not right now.

She may have dated N.K. and learned a lot about herself, but she still is only 10 and wishes for a monogamous relationship.

Polyamory is a lot of work and for someone so young it’s too difficult to maintain.

N.K. and Kenny are already more mature than most of their age mates, thanks to both of their powers/curses and family situations. N.K. with the moving and leaving behind all, Kenny with his deadbeat parents and practically raising Karen on his own.

They have the mental capacity to make this work.

Okay, the only one right now that could join the polycule would be Kyle, but right now it would mean only that N.K. dates the two guys and they stay friends.

But this is also a K2 fanfiction, we also have to go on the journey of Kenny and Kyle falling in love with each other. :3

Which I can’t wait to write for since K2 is my freacking OTP in South Park. :D

For now, we will have N.K. and Kenny be a pair.

A boy, can you imagine what field day Cartman will have with this? I sure can. XD

Until next time!

Next

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The Woe’s of a Fanfiction Writer

Welcome to my second blog where I just complain about how it is to be a Fanfiction Writer, waiting for reviews that never come and doubting

Join my TikTok for Images with your fav characters!

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Tammy the Fighter

I used JRPG Heroine: Dragon Master dress-up game for Tammy’s outfit. She has a purse with her since her class is a fighter and she fights like Tifa Lockheart from Final Fantasy. In the purse are things like smoke bombs or glitter to give a status effect on the enemy or stun them.

The Magician's Quest

SoT AU: Her homeland invaded, her parents died, and all Magic was outlawed. Dark Magician N.K. is on the run from the Inquisition, who wants nothing more than to burn her at a stake. She finds herself in Zaron, the Human Kingdom, not knowing that she stepped into a war for the most powerful relict of them all. A legend, which is reality. The Stick of Truth.

Chapter One

It was three days since Marianne, for all others Butters, appeared in the castle with a fainted magician from Winning Sun in her arms.

The whole court had lost its marble.

A survivor of practically a genocide?

Unbelievable!

Only the Wizard King seemed like Winterfest had come earlier for him this year.

The fairest in the land of Zaron, her Royal Highness, Princess Kenny McCormick hadn’t liked Cartman’s look one bit.

It was an open secret how the fatass greedily collected all Magical Wisdom he could get in his fat grabby hands.

All for a way to completely destroy the Elven Kingdom and mostly their King in one devastating hit.

One of the famed female magicians from Winning Sun was what missing from his "collection".   

It sicked Princess Kenny.

The poor girl surely searched for shelter from the Purist of the True Light and ended up here, where Cartman would squeeze her like a lemon for her magical wisdom, till he got tired and practically threw her out of the kingdom.

She couldn’t let this happen.

One because it was terrible and second…she needed the magician for her own plans.

She didn’t claim to be better than Cartman, but her reasons are better!

Kupa Keep belongs truly to her and her sister Karen.

The princess would be damned if she didn’t get the throne back from the fatass. 

Her heeled boots made a clink and clank sound as made her way to the castle infirmary.

Her sister, Princess Karen, was gifted with Healing Powers, the infirmary her realm. She took care of their magician guest.

Kenny visit any day in the hope that she could talk first with the stranger. She needed to have her on her side and not on Cartman’s.

Good thing that the fatass was so lazy to check up on the magician himself. He was so sure that the magician would work for him, share her wisdom in exchange for a safe place, that he didn’t see the danger coming from Kenny herself.

He was always understatement her.

This would be his downfall.

Princess Kenny open the door to the infirmary and stepped quietly in. Karen demanded absolute silence in her infirmary. Loud noises were not good for her healing patients.

“Here for you.”, she heard her sister talk. “I hope you like apples.”

“Can I not have some boar stew? I’m dying over her!”, answered an unknown female voice.

Ah, so their guest finally woke up. Good, this was good.

Karen laughed, while Kenny made her way over to them.

“You are out of danger. Also, boar stew is too much for your stomach right now. You need to eat light things.”

From the magician came grumbling, but Kenny heard how she bit into the crunchy apple.

Finally, she reached the bed where the magician lay. Well, the curtains before it.

“Karen.”, she called sweetly. “I’m hearing right and our guest woke up?”

Three days.

She was three days out of it.

Even when she had learned the higher magic to become the future court magician N.K. never had lost concession for so long.

It really had been a hard trip for her.

When she finally woke up, sweet Princess Karen was there, to help her sit up and gave her a glass of water.

The young Princess was nice and welcoming to her.

As if she was doing this job for years she had checked on N.K. and used her own Healing Magic to help her recover faster.

It was a nice feeling meeting such a pure and good soul after all that had happened.

Also, it was a good sign that the Grand Wizard had taken her in, letting her get healed by Princess Karen.

Maybe she really had a chance to begin her anew.

Currently, she and the princess were discussing what she should eat, Karen won with her apples, as she heard this beautiful voice.

It was hard to tell if it was male or female. Only the silhouette showed a feminine form.

“That’s my sibling Princess Kenny.”, whisper Karen to her before she turned to the one before the curtain. “Kenny, always nice to see you. Did you want to check on N.K.?”

“N.K.? That’s our noble magician’s name?”

The talked-to magician sat upright as Karen open the curtain to let her sister in.

“Novella-Karin.”, she gave her full name. “N.K. was my nickname since I can remember.”

Princess Kenny was a vision! Golden hair in two braids, the most beautiful blue eyes in a pretty face with soft-looking lips. She wore a pretty dress that hugged her in all the right places. But N.K. noted the lack of breasts.

Genderfluid?

Most likely.

Karen had even called her, her sibling not her sister.

“A pretty name for a pretty woman.”, complimented Princess Kenny and N.K. felt a bit shy.

Normal she would have flirted back…but after all that happened in her homeland…N.K. was so unsure about a lot of things now.

Seemed like both the Princesses noted how she clambered up, since they gave her soft smiles.

“It’s all right N.K.”, told Karen, putting a hand on her shoulder. “You are here under friends. Kupa Keep welcomed you with open arms.”

Oh…this was good to hear.

Princess Kenny nodded in agreement.

“We want you to feel safe with us. You can rest and heal in peace here.”

N.K. had to fight her tears. She didn’t deserve such kindness. She was nothing but a coward.

However, she nodded and snuggled back up in her bed.

“Come, Kenny, let’s leave N.K. alone. She still has to require a lot of energy.”

The siblings stepped away from her bed to talk in hushed tones with each other at Karen’s desk.

Maybe she should have listened in, but N.K. was already tired again.

So she fell asleep.

“Kenny what are you planning!”, hissed Karen at her sibling. She loved Kenny, yet she also know that they had their own agenda going on. “N.K. is still too fragile to be part of your plans!”

“I noted that. I will let her be for the moment. But Karen you know as well as I that fatass can not get his hands on her!”

“She is my patient, who survive a genocide and made her way all alone to Zaron. I don’t want her to be part of your plans!”

“Our plans!”

“I’m happy Kenny, when will you understand.”

Her sibling huffed and put their hands on their hips.

“Kupa Keep is ours, Karen. It’s our right to rule. And not Cartman, who only became king, because our parents were so high and stupid to trust the Wicked Witch Liane!”

“Keep it down!”, Karen whisper-shouted and looked worried around. “You know how these walls have ears.”

Kenny signed and nodded.

“Even more reason to end this.”

“You sound like Kevin and you know what happened to him! I can’t lose you too.”

“I promise you, it won’t happen to me.”, promised Kenny taking her hands and squeezing them. “Our brother was as courageous as he was dumb. I will not fight Cartman openly.”

Now it was Karen who signed, taking her hands away from her sibling and sat down on her desk.

“I know, I can’t stop you. But please be careful, for our all sakes.”

Again Kenny promised and made her way out of the infirmary. When Karen sat down at her desk it meant it was time to leave.

On the floor outside the infirmary, she meets Marianne.

“Butters.”, how Kenny hated to call their friend her deadname, but you couldn’t be careful enough in Kupa Keep. “How it’s going?”

“Oh I’m good, your highness. The Wizard King wants to talk to you.”

Shit, what did the fatass want from her?

Marianne stands on the door before the throne room, guarding it alongside Knight Tolkien.

It was unlike someone would manage to bypass the wall, then all the Royal Guards, till finally reaching the throne room, but better be safe than sorry.

The paladin let her eyes wander and remembered again how she missed the old Kupa Keep.

Before Eric became king, the walls were decorated with beautiful portraits of the past rulers, now everyone showed him and only him.

It showed how narcissistic their king was.

Of course she never would it say out loud, but thinking it was safe.

Her thoughts lead her to her beloved Stan.

She wonder what he was doing now.

Stan had talked freely about his duties in the court of Larnion, so Marianne could image that he was currently with his king, maybe helping him decide in how to better the living of the elven kind.

Sometimes she wonder if she really should do it.

Leave all this behind and live with Stan in the Elven Kingdom.

Her love always assured her, that they would take her in with open arms and since he was best friends with the High Elf King no one would give her trouble.

But her parents needed her.

They weren’t the best. She often had cried because of them, yet they were still her parents.

Then Kenny and Karen needed her.

She know about Kenny secret plans to dethrone Eric. Marianne had sworve to help her friend achive this.

Kupa Keep was once the kingdom of Kenny’s and Karen’s family, but the late king and queen had a bad addiction for drugs.

It was so bad that they couldn’t even rule anymore.

Then one day the witch Liane with her young son Eric appaered and promised to help the couple.

Liane told that she was specialty in healing addictions of anykind and for a while all somehad to be gettig bettter.

Till the royal couple died and had appionted Liane as regent, till Kevin, Kenny’s and Karen’s older brother, was of age.

Sadly nothing had gone as it should have gone.

Marianne signs and then lets out a shriek as the door to the throne room opens. Princess Kenny is storming out of it.

Oh hamburgers.

Eric made her angry.

What did he told her?

Not far away from Zaron in the kingdom of Larnion Stan Marshwalker can only look at his king and super best friend Kyle in disbelief.

“You didn’t agree.”, the ranger hoped. “Tell me you didn’t agree!”

The High Elf King just made a face.

So Stan had his answer.

“You are stupid, I hope you realiz that!”

“Hey, I’m doing this for the kingdom! For our people, Stan.”

“Our people will think you lost your marbles.”

Kyle waved this away, sitting down on his throne.

“They will understand.”

“Yeah, that you are been played. Fatass invatation is a trap. Don’t tell me you don’t see it.”

For that Kyle sends him an angry look.

“I know them well that Wizard Fatass will probably try to attack Larnion while we are in Zaron. But Stan if the tiny chance exists we can end this war between our two realms, then I must take it.”

“By going to their Midsummer Festival and being all buddy-buddy with Cartman? Kyle are you out of your mind?!”

“I will not go alone. Don’t worry.”, reassured his king. “I haven’t completely lost it, as you said. I will be taking you and Tammy with me.”

Stan could only deadpan at him.

“Us three, all around us enemy. Yeah, that’s for sure not a trap.”

“Queen Bebe of the Amazons and her second in command Wendy will be there too.”, told Kyle. “Also Queen Henrietta of the Dark Clearing and her three advisories. We will have friends there.”

Okay, this was surprising.

“What is fatass planning to invite all his enemies to his Midsummer Festival?”

“I don’t know, but see how we can’t back down.”

The ranger let out only a sign.

Well, at least he would be seeing his bunny sooner than normal.

N.K. had woken up from her nap and Princess Karen had been so nice to give her a book to read to battle her boredom.

The princess still didn’t see her fit enough to walk around, so she had to stay in bed.

The book she read was interesting.

It talked about a legend as old as all the realms and kingdoms together.

The Stick of Truth.

The most powerful wand ever created.

As a magician, she had studied the mythos of the Stick of Truth, but that the first who wield it had been on Orc was new information to her.

That’s when the door to the infirmary swung open loudly, making her nearly jump out of her bed and Princess Karen sat upright on her desk.

“Excuse me?!”, the young Princess yelled. “This is an absolute silence zone. My patients don’t need to be disturbed by loud rumors.”

“This is how you talk to your king?”, answered her the male who stepped in.

He was a wizard and…well really fat. You couldn’t even call him chubby.

A shiver run down N.K.’s back as the wizard fixed her with his cold dead eyes.

The magic aura around him… was full of malice. This was someone who probably used forbidden magic.

That was not a good sign.

Princess Karen stepped away from her desk and curtsy before the wizard.

“My king I’m sorry. I didn’t know it was you.”, she nearly whimpered.

All right, N.K. already didn’t like this fatass. Anyone who made shake sweet Princess Karen like this was an asshole in her eyes.

“Whatever, bitch.”

Yep, he was on her shit list now.

“I’m here for the other bitch.”

Where was her wand?!

“I’m the Grand Wizard Eric Cartman. I assume right you want to live here?”

He didn’t even let her answer.

“Well, bitch, if that is so, you better start getting well soon and put your magic to good use for the kingdom. Understand? Or I will kick you out. I’m sure the Inquisition is just waiting to get you in their hands.”

The brunette girl had a really strong feeling that it was probably the most stupid idea to come to Zaron!

God fucking dammit!

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The Woe’s of a Fanfiction Writer

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03.07.2023: I should stop making deadlines for my FFs because it really stops my creative flow.

I’m sorry to say it but I won’t be updating this FF once per week and only write for it when I feel like it.

Kinda how I do with my other FFs.

I’m sorry guys, but now I learned that deadline and I really don’t work.

Have a nice day/night!

Friendly Faces Everywhere

Codename Dovahkiin Part 2

Now that the Stick of Truth RPG is over it's time for N.K. to face the normal everyday life of South Park.

She should have known nothing in South Park is ever normal!

Day to day the craziness of this supposed quiet little mountain town she has to combat now.

Thank god, she has Tammy, Wendy, her boys, and her Social Media/Magical Girl Powers on her side.

This gonna be a wild ride!

Main Pairing: New Kid/Kenny McCormick/Kyle Broflovski

I completely ignored Grounded Vindaloop, because writing this Inception parody in the first person was way too hard and I also didn’t want to.

As you can see from the title today we will have some YGOTAS! :D

If you haven’t watched it, go and watch it LittleKuriboh is a genius.

Chapter 4: With thanks to LittleKuriboh!

All right all I have to say to the day we all tried out the Oculus it was fucking weird and confusing.

So we don’t talk about it.

What I gonna tell you is this!

Thanks to the boys I found out that there is a nerd shop in South Park with all the children’s card games and merchandise you want!

Stan’s Gang got really into Magic the Gathering, which I don’t understand since Duel Monsters is way cooler.

Anyway, tonight was a big tournament not only for Magic the Gathering but also for Duel Monsters.

I’m sitting in the peanut gallery with Tammy and Heidi waiting that the Magic the Gathering duel between Kenny and a boy named Slaughterhouse ends, so I can have my duel with a teenager named Cameron, who is currently Colorado’s Duel Monster champion.

Not for long when I’m done with him.

I shovel my Deck, while Tammy and Heidi whisper to each other.

“Do you get what Kenny and the other boy play, Tammy?”

“Not really. N.K. only taught me about Duel Monsters, but they are some similarities.”

“Blasphemy!”, I whisper-shout at them. “Duel Monsters is way better and cooler. It was even a Manga and Anime that says all!”

Heidi and Tammy look at each other and then giggle. I struck my tongue out at them.

Finally, Kenny wins, we applaud him of course, and it’s now time to d-d-d-d-d-duel!

It is cool from the boys that they stay to watch me now playing, even if Cartman is protesting, but Leo even has made a little poster with N.K. is the best and my favorite card the Dark Magician Girl drawn on it.

I have such a cute little brother.

Anyway, I’m facing now this Cameron.

He is at least 13 and the walking stereotype of a Nerd. With glasses and braces and really old fashion clothes.

Yet I will not underestimate him. You aren’t Duel Monsters Champion for nothing.

I won’t lie the Duel is tough.

Cameron took a bunch of Lifepoints in one turn. Nonetheless, I manage to beat him with only 500 Lifepoints remaining.

Now I’m the new Duel Monsters Champion of Colorado!

I get standing ovations and my best friend and Heidi yell the loudest for me.

I only bow before anyone.

This was amazing!

The next few days I don’t see much from Stan’s Gang since they took on underground dueling with roosters.

Yes, you read right.

Anyway, I’m trying to teach my female friends some Duel Monsters, especially Wendy to get her mind off that no one besides us come to the volleyball games.

But I have to admit.

Since I’m Duel Monsters Champion…I have the feeling someone is stalking me.

I can’t explain it right.

I feel like I’m watched, but when I look or my friends no one is there.

Weird.

I hope it’s not the government! I’m finally settling in in South Park and don’t wanna move again.

Right now I’m in my room sorting my Duel Monsters card.

Normally I would have gone to the volleyball match, but Wendy told me herself if I really feel like being watched I should stay at home and find out if it’s there the same. She is such an amazing friend.

When suddenly my door swings open and Stan runs in!

“Stan, where is the fire?!”, I asked him surprised.

“Oh god, N.K. something happened at the underground Magic the Gathering tournament!”

“Weren’t you watching the Volleyball game, how do you know?”

“I was on the phone with Cartman and Kyle. Then suddenly there was a loud ruckus and then silence. Someone picked up the phone and told me: "Tell Codename: Dovahkiin if she wants to save her friends, she shall come to the playground I’m waiting for her"”

Shocked I jump from my bed and grip Stan’s shoulders.

“Are you shitting me? How did the person sound like?!”

“Pretty young. Oh god, do you think this guy has really Kenny, Kyle, and Cartman with him?!”

Young? A young government worker?

“Let me check something real quick.”

I try to phone Tammy, but she isn’t answering!

Oh god, no, that doesn’t look good.

“That guy has Tammy also?”, speaks out Stan my fear.

“Stan you go home, I will go to the playground.”

“I’m not leaving you alone. That bastard has my friends too…besides Cartman but whatever.”

“All right, all right, let’s make haste!”

We both run to the playground. I have to confess…it’s really creepy there right now.

It’s so dark and still.

I have a feeling the shadows are gripping after us.

We see at the same time Tammy, Kyle, Kenny, and fatass in bonds besides the toilettes.

“Guys!”, me and Stan shout.

As we try to run to them a fucking shadowy wave blocks us.

What is going on?

“N.K., Stan, that guy is a freak!”, yells Kyle. “Be careful!”

Which guy?

A white boy, who has white hair in a ponytail, silver eyes, and dressed in a black tuxedo materialize formally from the shadows.

He looks at me with cold eyes. I feel a shiver all over my body.

“Who the heck are you?!”, shouts Stan.

The strange boy just looks at him and with a hand gesture, Stan gets caught and bonded in the shadows.

“Stan!”, we all scream.

 “You have done your work messenger.”, tells the strange boy in a surprisingly pleasing voice. “I’m here to talk with Codename: Dovahkiin.”

I stare at him, already collecting my energy to transform. My feelings tell me to be alert around him.

“Why did you kidnap my friends and who are you?!”, I demand to know.

He gives me a chilling smirk.

“I wanted to get your attention Codename: Dovahkiin. After I collected data on you these the last days I came to the conclusion then besides the fat kids these are the people closest to your heart.”

“Hey I’m not fat, I’m big-boned!”

I ignore Cartman’s shout.

“I wasn’t imagining things! You were the one who stalked me!”, I accuse the strange boy.

Creepily he titles his head.

“Stalking is such a harsh word. I wanted simply to know more about a follow Codename.”

…WHAT?!

“What does the creepy dude mean by that?”, wonders Tammy.

“He isn’t a government dude for sure.”, answers Kyle. “If he said follow Codename could that mean…”

“Are you like me?”, I end Kyle’s sentence, staring at the white-haired boy.

“Codename: Inquisitor, a pleasure to meet you.”, he tells me with a mocking bow.

I’m just…speechless. There is someone like me? Did the government experimented on him too, as they did on me?

“Why are you doing this?”, I want to know. “If we are the same why did you kidnap my friends and the fatass? We could have just talked to each other. Why the stalking and kidnapping?”

“I’m not like you Dovahkiin.”, begins Inquisitor. He raises a hand and shadows pulse from it. Not only did I gasp in surprise. “I was an orphan and raised by the secret government organization. I had no parents who run away with me. When I was powerful enough I run away. Since then I’m on the run, living and fighting for myself. I know that there was at least one more like me. My opposite. The light to my darkness. The Yin to my Yang. You Dovahkiin. I wanted to meet you. Did you know that the goverment planned to make us breed with eachother?”

No, he is joking?!

I hear how Tammy shriecks a sick, while the boys, beside fatass, their chin meets the floor.

“Why would they want to do this?”, I demand to know.

Inquisitor shrugs his shoulder.

“Why are they doing what they do? They want a perfect superhuman, a weapon they can uses. But this right now is not important.”

“And what is important?”

“I want to see your power Dovahkiin! Fight me and if you win your friends are free.”

I let my transformation energy flow to my body and I’m in my Magical Girl Form.

I form golden light orbs in my hands.

“Bring it on you fake albino!”

He tuts me.

“No Dovahkiin not like this. We shall fight…with a children’s card game you well know!”

“What dude?”, calls Stan in disbelief.

“Is he challenging her to a Duel Monsters duel?”, ask Tammy wondering.

“I think so.”, answers Kyle.

“What the fuck, man!”, say’s Kenny what I think.

“Are you serious?”, I ask to be sure.

Inquisitor laughs and points all around us.

“Didn’t you notice something? We aren’t any more in our world.”

“Fuck that dude, what is he talking about?”, yells Cartman.

I analyze our surroundings. I didn’t realize, but we are in a shadowy purple dome. All is dark and creepy.

No…is this possible?

“You brought us to the Shadow Realm?!”, I shriek. “It’s really real?”

“That’s part of my powers and you know surely how Shadow Games are played.”

Suddenly light and shadow twirl around my left arm forming a Duel Disk out of golden light.

“What the fuck?!”

“We will follow the Battle City Tournament rules and for every Lifepoint we lose we feel the pain in our body.”, explains Inquisitor. “Are you ready to duel Dovahkiin?”

I take out my deck from my skirt pocket and place it in my card holder. Like in the anime, the display shows now 4000 Lifepoints. I’m glad I took my deck with me, or now we would have a problem.

“If I win me and my friends are free, but what happens if you win.”, I must know.

“Simple, you come with me and leave all this behind.”

Beside Cartman, all scream in outrage on my behalf.

“You sick pervert, don’t even come near my sis!”

“Is this a scheme to get N.K. for yourself, what’s wrong with you?!”

“N.K. is not a price you can win! You aren’t better than the government who did this all to her and yourself!”

“What gives you the fucking right to do this?! Hey, motherfucker why don’t you duel me?! I will kick your ass gladly for N.K.!”

“Guys, enough!”, I command them. “I will handle this don’t worry. Inquisitor and his Purple Realm don’t scare me.”

“It’s the Shadow Realm!”

“Really, it kind of looks like purple to me.”

“Silence!”

“I’m just saying.”

Inquisitor looks ready to throttle me.

Ha, I had a feeling he doesn’t know Yu-Gi-Oh the Abridged Series if he is really always on the run. There is no time to see this masterpiece of anime satire.

So I will use the power of Yu-Gi-Oh Abridged against him. If he can copy somehow the Shadow Realm I will use any means to defeat him.

Okay, I could beat him in a normal duel fair and square, but even if he is probably the only person who can understand my situation, the fucker threats my beloved people, besides fatass, so I will make him suffer.

“Now, let us begin with the Duel!”, he shouts and a dark shadow Duel Disk appears on his arm.

“Duel!”, we shout together.

Inquisitor has the first turn. Wonder what cards he has in his deck…even if I have a strange feeling that I know it.

And I was right as I see what cards he plays.

He is totally ripping off Yami Bakura from Battle City!

Right now he played Ouija Board Magic Card and is about to explain what it does.

Okay, I know what to do.

“Let me guess, it spelled Disney before, they had to censor it twice!”

The white-haired boy looks at me in disbelief.

“That’s, that’s not what it does! It will spell Death you will lose!”

“I’m just saying.”

“Silence!”

“Or what? Are ya gonna ask the Naruto Abridged fanbase to come to kick my butt?”

“They had a fanbase?”, calls Tammy over. She probably got what I’m playing and tries to help me.

“Touché.”

“Will you stop!”, shouts Inquisitor, while the boys try their hardest not to laugh.

The Duel continues on and the board is nearly finished spelling Disney I mean Death and Inquisitor feel smug.

“Hahahaha! Just one more letter will seal your doom! Without an Egyptian God card you will be—“

I interrupt him.

“Egyptian what now? Oh right, I completely forgot I had that!”

“What? You can’t possibly have one of the cards they were banned!”

“Bitch I might be!”

I sacrifice my three monsters to summon…

“Come forth, Slifer the Executive Producer! I mean Sky Dragon!”

Even the music when the God Card in the anime gets played sounds and Slifer appears in all his executive glory. He really is a bigass dragon, his long body curled around me and then he hover over me like a building.

“Holy fuck!”, curse Inquisitor.

“What's wrong, Inquisitor? Is my God Card really that intimidating?”

“Also, but I’m mostly shocked how you’re actually using music from the Yu-Gi-Oh soundtrack! Your powers are incredible.”

“Buttering me up will not help you. Any last words before Slifer toasts your ass?”

“…I want my mummy…”

“That'll work.”

Slifer attacks him and his life points drop to zero. At the same time, the Shadow Realm vanishes and my friends are free from their bonds.

I run up to them and hug Tammy, Kenny, Kyle, and Stan tight to me.

“I’m glad you guys are okay!”

“That was epic, sis!”

“Hey, I don’t want to interrupt your gay fest.”, calls Cartman over. “But the white-haired asshole is gone.”

“Oh shit!”

I end the hug and look around.

Yep, he is gone.

“Awesome!”, I groan. “That means he will probably appear again in some episodes and get on our nerves!”

Tammy pets my head.

“There, there N.K., you will kick his ass again no worries.”

“My worry is that he becomes like my nemesis and I have to fight him every season final or something.”

In the end, there is nothing we can do anymore.

Only watch the next volleyball game altogether.

The new and improved volleyball game featuring Magic the Gathering. No idea how Stan got this idea, but at least the gymnasium is full of people watching the game.

All in all a win for us.

I will take care of Inquisitor next time.

Can you guess why Inquisitor is called like that and what his real name could be?

Let me hear your theorys!

Till next time :D

Next

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The Woe’s of a Fanfiction Writer

Welcome to my second blog where I just complain about how it is to be a Fanfiction Writer, waiting for reviews that never come and doubting