Hang On.

Hang on.

It has been 1806 days no contact.  

I was sitting down the other day fretting about mine and my partner’s precarious employment situation.  Her company is outsourcing their IT , and mine is operating in a small town in which it has historically struggled to find clients.  it’s not dire, we have a few years before this will become an imminent problem.

But while I was staring at our finances and looking for places to tighten up, I realized that I was feeling ‘normal’ worry.  The worry you feel when you have a  concern and you need to find ways to mitigate the problem.

That’s not the kind of worry I’m used to.

More than anything, the feeling I had was “we’ll handle it.”  I have never thought I could handle anything in my life.

That “gets better” they talk about is worth the shit you’re going through now.  Promise.  

!!! 🤎

Since covid, I’ve been in conversations where my mind has just gone blank.  “What have you been up to?”  “How have you been?”  

It’s back to “I have no idea.  I exist, I guess.”  If only I could actually say that.

a mess

My woman drives through every puddle she can find because she knows i like the splash.

Small things are big things.

it’s so true that the greatest weapon against nihilism and existential despair is to find joy in the mundane and never stop chasing after love

Anger isn't scary. I'm still figuring that one out.

emotionally competent cassowary

My partner is brushing her teeth before bed and clearly watching something very funny because all I can hear is her giggling from the other room.

My heart is so full and I'm crying.

I couldn't have imagined such a simple pleasant home some years ago.