If You Take All The Songs By Fleetwood Mac And All The Songs By The Mountain Goats, Then Youve Got All

If you take all the songs by Fleetwood Mac and all the songs by The Mountain Goats, then you’ve got all the songs. Every possible human experience is covered by these two discographies.

Do I know anything about Dracula? Or vampires? Or movies? Or anything at all? No. I do not. Did I have the time of my life watching Renfield? I did, thanks for asking.

This is a shift, lads. This is a big shift. The sign is was? the front that Ted’s been putting up, and he’s done. He’s tired of that shit. It’s real now. The belief is inside. I mean right before the speech, we saw Ted successfully fucking COPE instead of hiding his pain. And he told Henry something REAL. This is a whole new ballgame, so to speak.

Now, about that Tedbecca scene—

THERE IS ONLY ROOM FOR ONE PLATITUDE-SPEWING AUTHORITY FIGURE IN THIS LOCKER ROOM THANKYOUVERYMUCH

Sports are so fucking weird, and the ONLY thing that keeps them from being a religion is the lack of a higher power or an afterlife.

You’ve got: rituals, sacrifices, superstitions, gatherings, songs, festivals, pilgrimages, fellowship, celebrations, talismans, idols. You’ve even got miracles.

These things seem to be more present in certain leagues than others—NCAA basketball and the English Football League come to mind for having teams, coaches, and fans who will go to extremes AS A COLLECTIVE, not just as individuals. They treat their local sports bar like a parish. They have their cathedrals and their songs and their holy-war rivalries.

I understand the inclination to not care. And in many ways, I don’t care either. (American football is a drag at ANY level, and all they’ve got by way of ritual is TAILGATING.) But if you’ve never celebrated a victory—one you truly cared about, one you prayed for—by dancing and singing in the streets with a couple thousand strangers, I recommend it.

LET DANI SEE A TULIP DAMN IT