Sports Are So Fucking Weird, And The ONLY Thing That Keeps Them From Being A Religion Is The Lack Of

Sports are so fucking weird, and the ONLY thing that keeps them from being a religion is the lack of a higher power or an afterlife.

You’ve got: rituals, sacrifices, superstitions, gatherings, songs, festivals, pilgrimages, fellowship, celebrations, talismans, idols. You’ve even got miracles.

These things seem to be more present in certain leagues than others—NCAA basketball and the English Football League come to mind for having teams, coaches, and fans who will go to extremes AS A COLLECTIVE, not just as individuals. They treat their local sports bar like a parish. They have their cathedrals and their songs and their holy-war rivalries.

I understand the inclination to not care. And in many ways, I don’t care either. (American football is a drag at ANY level, and all they’ve got by way of ritual is TAILGATING.) But if you’ve never celebrated a victory—one you truly cared about, one you prayed for—by dancing and singing in the streets with a couple thousand strangers, I recommend it.

UPDATE: my roommate said “except maybe joy” and it turns out that she’s the funniest person that ever lived.

If you take all the songs by Fleetwood Mac and all the songs by The Mountain Goats, then you’ve got all the songs. Every possible human experience is covered by these two discographies.

“The Mountain Goats are so esoteric and deep and poetic…” meanwhile:

Is it the butterfly effect if watching Ted Lasso results in me buying a book named after a John Prine song? Or is it just Apple TV?

(I only watched the pilot of the show. I’ll go back to it after I finish this.)

I, LIKE TED, AM A LITTLE BIT PSYCHIC. “You are my believers” GTFO, MAN!!! AND DON’T LET THE DOOR HITCHYA!

THERE IS ONLY ROOM FOR ONE PLATITUDE-SPEWING AUTHORITY FIGURE IN THIS LOCKER ROOM THANKYOUVERYMUCH

This is a shift, lads. This is a big shift. The sign is was? the front that Ted’s been putting up, and he’s done. He’s tired of that shit. It’s real now. The belief is inside. I mean right before the speech, we saw Ted successfully fucking COPE instead of hiding his pain. And he told Henry something REAL. This is a whole new ballgame, so to speak.

Now, about that Tedbecca scene—