Exmeanswithout - It's Hard Being Young And Crazy - Tumblr Blog

sometimes person

i wonder if maybe manipulation is a natural part of my communication style

just another language i learned which although lacking in malice is no less unkind

short lived loves living in storage stacked ceiling-high

but I don't mind the temporary nature of the things i feed my heart

i play part-time partner particularly enthusiastically

let me treat you right for a moment cuz a moment is all I've ever had

being a sometimes person means I'm good at temporary

tempestuous trysts and dangerous dalliances keep killing my kindness

causing cracks in cold facades

features flitting from face to face fighting for freedom from fear, frustration, and longing

life, love, hard liquor and soft luxury

i replace all of these things with the poetic royal you

you the reader

you the scorned lover let down lightly alongside leather combat boots

bringing butchered beasts and(broadly speaking) bristly sing-song to my step

several lovers stated separately something which seriously stuck to this day

i am uncomplicated

don't you dare deny my defects

I'll disregard the defiance decisively for now

but between not noticing the never evers and saying something so suspiciously off base

believe me it's better to be brought along abreast against the brown feathers of tomorrow then brought beating and bawling from below to yesterday

The gorgon girls are ugly and the gorgon girls are cruel

And they cackle when they giggle and they will not follow rules

And they break the girls that kiss them and their eyes are dark and flat

So I'm gonna be a gorgon girl and that's the end of that

Bruce Springsteen, Born to Run

women fish me

fear loves me

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Chemical Messengers

Chemical Messengers is a collection of poems ranging from less than a page to four pages. Although primarily autobiographical at times it to

first book

hi my name's Ex, I'm new to tumblr, i write poetry and make art, my poetry mainly centers around being young and mentally ill. I'm using this as a place to store my poems.

selling art

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shop.ingramspark.com

Chemical Messengers

Chemical Messengers is a collection of poems ranging from less than a page to four pages. Although primarily autobiographical at times it to

hey everyone my first book is available for sale now!

Altered Stasis / Positive Discharge

Disagree strongly

Disagree somewhat

Agree somewhat

Agree strongly

-

When I took it the first time it occurred to me that it was lacking in nuance

-

When I see myself in others I can't help but be happy for them

-

I'm often bored

And I struggle to say it without saying it

-

At times it appears enrichment is my primary motivator

What a blessing, then, to live in such an enriching world

With so many goodies

-

I'm scared though

To say it I mean

-

The Quick Brown Fox Jumps Over The Lazy Dog

-

That sentence contains secret significance

I will not elaborate

-

I LIVE IN A VAMPIRES CASTLE

-

I run down the walls and seep into the floorboards

-

Parts of me get caught in the doorways

-

At times I feel like the echo of an echo

-

The nature of my existence is thus that I'm a metaphor for the things you leave behind

-

I've never wondered who I used to be

-

I still haven't said it

I'm still afraid

-

despite my present affliction I still care what others think

-

When they say something funny I laugh

-

I rehearsed this

-

This poem is a window into the mind of a–

-

I'm still afraid to say it

-

There's consequences to being the way I am

-

From another perspective

There's consequences to being the way anyone is

the way to a crane fly's heart

traditional forms of seduction

typically fail to function

when a crane fly you wish to make yours

for a crane fly you see

has no mouth so to eat

so to smile so to kiss so to flirt

but if a crane fly you love

as they alight from above

and bedazzle with dazzling wings

because a crane fly you see

is an elegant thing

with a way of her own to intrigue

so your crane fly young love

must fly like a dove

in her dancing and swirling ways

this big crane fly to-do

is what you must go through

to make that crane fly your mate

so what must you do?

why you just dance too

and the crane fly will give you her heart

for a crane fly you see

is a romantic thing

and she finds her love through her art

“I wasn’t always like this” will always be one of the saddest phrases to exist. And by ‘this’ they mean the insecurity,the never ending sadness,the suppressed anger which eventually turned into agony. It means they were once,normal,joyful even.They ran across gardens and still managed to catch their breath,now they cry in bathrooms and can never find that breath back.

-nipuna

"preheat"? dude i dont even HEAT my oven. thats right. im cooking my shit coldstyle. im stretching the definition of "cooking" far beyond its ultimate tensile strength. my chicken breasts are the most gorgeous pink color you've ever seen. they look like rosebuds on the very cusp of blooming. they look like the dawn when you're in love. hospital.

Maggie Stiefvater, Shiver

i actually really enjoy when people leave random objects in art galleries and people start treating them as if they're art. I think it puts people into a headspace where they start looking at normal objects differently and its an opportunity for them to realize that they can do this too outside of a gallery setting. You're not dumb or tricked for seeing something on the floor of a gallery and trying to figure it out or appreciating it as an art object. The world is full of beautiful and interesting objects even some random garbage on the street is worthy of that same level of examination. Theres art everywhere if you're primed to see it.

Lithium Days

Men in white coats will often tell you the truth about your brain

It is an objective truth that objectivity wears a uniform

Honesty comes in the form of diagnoses

And medication lists

Side effects and symptoms

Men in white coats have often told me the truth about my brain

I built a religion out of acid trips

And

Manic episodes

I teach others about it

There's a set of rules and roles that define our society

I'm afraid of society

I'm afraid of the roles

And the rules

I'm afraid of the expectations

Nineteen years old

that's when I lost my mind

I have an ego

I think I have a beautiful mind

I'm concerned for what it will look like in fifteen years

I spend all my best words on the things i feed my body

Sex

Drugs

Art

I don't feel as hopeless as I used to about my situation

Art will always be my first lover

It occupies my time and my heart

I've learned a lot in the last three years

I've learned that acid connects are often artistically inclined

I've learned my line stepping is habitual

I've learned it's not about what I can give so much as it is what they can take from me

I divide my world into bite sized boxes

Stranger box

Acquaintance box

Friend box

Family box

I'm truly a master at compartmentalization

I make it look easy

I have an ego

Objectively, I know I'm not in a great place

But

I often find myself thinking there's no one I would rather be

childhood is captivity

An older boy asks me if i want to play a game

I don't remember the end of this story but I know how it ends

Childhood is captivity

I come to in a dark house

My hands and feet are covered in blood

I don't remember how this story begins but i know how it started

Childhood is captivity

The overarching theme of my youth and young adulthood is fear

The cage I outgrew had four walls and a brown panel door

The cage that outgrew me was a line of trees i was far too afraid to pass

Childhood is captivity

An ode to a white claw shoved in the back of the fridge

Wow

It's you

That object of my deepest most secret desires

I swear no one has ever felt longing like this longing I feel for you

It seems to permeate like the summer sun

Or the winter wind

The way it fills me

The way you fill me

This dreaming of you

Like a cancer it corrupts my mind till all i can articulate is my wanting for you

hey, does anyone want to lock antlers and drown together in a cold lake? it has to be weird.

an ode to an adderall found between crumpled bedsheets

hello my beloved

I've been thinking about you you know

what a chance

meeting like this

me here

you here

us here together

lets get you out of there

i understand what it's like to be forgotten

let me take care of you

— Paul Guest, from “1987.”

Anne Carson, Plainwater: Essays and Poetry

this is going to have me on my hands and knees dry heaving

i see alive people

i see the way they live their alive lives

i envy them

i envy the nine-to-fivers

sometimes i feel like i made a deal with the devil

artistic freedom comes at a price

— nipuna (via @nipsyyy)

— unknown

— rhythmicrhinoceros