Actually Aspd - Tumblr Posts

God I feel empty.......

One day my hateful heart will find rest. The child in me will find love and safety and the adult that i am will find hope.

But until then I will struggle and fight for my place.

Welcome to my Ted Talk about AsPD, or Antisocial Personality Disorder, which the internet likes to coin as sociopath 👌🏻 if you don’t like long infodumps about stigmatized mental disorders from someone who is diagnosed, move on.

Quick toxic rundown: People with AsPD are generally characterized as emotionless, violent, manipulative abusers who kill animals and like to make other people their bitches. The biggest pet peeve we have is the emotionless, sadistic and abusive generalization.

Personally, we are highly neurotic, with highs and lows of: depression, frantic drive, self abuse tactics, chronic fear, lapses of rejection, overwhelming over-analyzation, grey area thinking, false goods and false bads, ultimatums, obsessive compulsive behavior, harsh self demands, and irritability.

AsPD is a disorder that is caused primarily (according to current research) by trauma and abuse in childhood; most notably being emotional neglect and absent caregivers that cause a child to have emotional shutdowns and repression episodes in an attempt to self soothe. Primary caregivers who do not bond with their children are also a factor. Children learn how to behave from those around them. If a primary caregiver is emotionally distant and unavailable, children will learn that is normal behavior and that’s how people are. If a primary caregiver does not provide empathy and sympathy during moments of distress and fear, children will learn that aloofness and disregard of others feelings is normal behavior. If a primary caregiver does not keep a child safe, children will learn that they should not prioritize their own safety or the safety of others. You can find my follow up post regarding this here.

Neglected and abused children often act out trying to get attention and help, often acting out in bad ways because they lack the ability to articulate what they’re feeling and what is happening to them. The pipeline for AsPD typically is: Oppositional Defiance Disorder as a child, Conduct Disorder as a teen, AsPD as an adult. There are a lot of warning signs cueing that AsPD is becoming a risk for development, but often kids do not have a support system to help negate it as it’s their support system that is usually a factor in its creation.

Being AsPD is like being an emotional La Croix 70% of the time. If you’re depressed, then it’s like someone in the other room has depression and is telling you about it. The other 30% of the time, if you’re depressed, your brain doesn’t understand how to handle it so it’s an ultimatum between doing something drastic to remove the Trigger or ignoring and dissociating for days on end.

People with AsPD are very good at ignoring things. Honestly it’s problematic as fuck but it’s not hard to ignore major issues when you just, don’t care. It’s not in the terms of being cruel or making ourselves not care, but the fact that finding the emotional willpower is so far out of our feasible reach we don’t do it. This causes us to piss people off because we don’t have the capacity to care as much as they want us to, even if we can and do to an extent.

Think of it this way: empathy/sympathy is a deep tub of water that everyone has. They can easily fill their measuring cup for the needed amount of empathy without any issues and it’s easy for them. People with AsPD don’t have a tub of water. We have shallow skillet. When we try to dip our cup to fill it, we can’t, it always comes up short and it is difficult to get any water in it as there is no room for the cup to dive. Our ability to care is limited because we do not have the same emotional resources everyone else does.

❌ False Positives & False Negatives ❌

I operate on what I’ve learned are called false positives and false negatives. These are things that are trained into the brain from an early age based off of childhood trauma and other factors. False positives are a distorted version of why we do something to help ourself and for our own good, meanwhile a false negative is something we do because it’s a threat, or based out of fear.

❌ Some of my false positives:

- It is good to be afraid of nothing

- It is good to adapt to someone’s personality if they are stronger than you

- It is good to isolate yourself

- It is good to be a silver tongue because you can get into any place you want

- It is good to become a social chameleon and shape yourself to whatever those around you need/want most, because then you have no chance of being abandoned

❌ Some of my false negatives, which can explain the false positives as well as core beliefs:

- it is bad to be afraid, if I am afraid then I am vulnerable and it can be used against me

- It is bad to be emotional or show concern for others emotions because they do not care for mine

- It is bad to be able to be exploited, because I believe it is everywhere

- It is bad to allow myself to be bored, because boredom begets bad thoughts and no one can or wants to help me when I spiral

- It is bad to not shape yourself to the social circle, because people quickly grow tired of those who do not match them perfectly and being discarded means I failed

My core beliefs can be viewed as the root for the false positives and negatives, because they are based on the core of trauma, abuse and neglect. They come from patterns and instances that make someone with AsPD become the opposite of what they experienced:

- eat or be eaten

- If I don’t show that my bite is worse than my bark, I will be taken advantage of and I must remain on top because the ones on top are safe

- I must look out for myself because nobody will do it for me

- It doesn’t matter what happens to me, therefore it doesn’t matter what people think of me

- If I cannot do something well, then I should not do it at all

- If you are dependent on others for emotional and mental well being, you are weak, therefore I must isolate myself to avoid becoming codependent and a burden and useless

- If I can handle the stress of a situation better than everyone else, therefore I will keep the problem (financial, emotional, mental, etc) to myself to reduce chances of being abandoned due to failure of perfection

People with AsPD are hard to get along with. We often:

- are always anticipating a fight

- lack respect for authority

- ignore social structures to an extent

- tendency to lie if it’ll lessen punishment or if we feel the lie is more acceptable than our actions

- limit social support because it’s wrong to be dependent on others

- have an inflated view of our own importance — which turns into a self ridicule for believing someome like me could be found important to others —

- can be rude and inconsiderate of others feelings somewhat unintentionally

- are unable to read the correct social cues in relation to empathy towards people and animals

- am constantly confused by others dependence upon empathy and inability to make desicions from logic based standpoints

We can’t speak for everyone who has AsPD, nor are we saying that no one with AsPD is capable of being a murderer/abuser etc. but we are saying that y’all need to stop automatically classifying someone as a certain “type” as soon as you know about their disorder.

One last thing I do want to point out is that it is not uncommon for people with AsPD to derive some sort of enjoyment in causing harm, doing something illegal, hurting someone or animals, etc. This entirely stems from lack of environmental control as a child. Being able to control what happens to others or being able to control the things you say or do that hurts someone else is a hefty high to get addicted to; it soothes the underlying itch of not being able to control your own trauma and abuse, so in turn you push these behaviors onto others and enjoy it because it gives you a sense of power and control. Some people with AsPD do genuinely love hurting others, and some enjoy hurting others when they believe it’s deserved or their ire has been stoked. Some enjoy causing pain to those they think deserve it, and others don’t care who they hurt as long as they feel like they’re in control of the situation.

Hope this have some insight into AsPD 🤙🏻 if y’all have any questions, shoot.

I love you people who show kindness because "it's what you're supposed to do". I love you people who show kindess because they like being thanked. I love you people who show kindness because it makes them feel good. I love you people who show kindness because they were shown kindness first. I love you people who show kindness for "selfish" reasons. I love you people who show kindness for the "wrong" reasons. I love you people who show kindness in a body that rejects the very notion. Your kindness is not any lesser because of its motivations. The good you added to the world is just as valuable as someone doing it for the "right" reasons. Your effort is seen. Your effort is valued.

My therapist (who's worked in forensic psychology and with many people with personality disorders) just told us we're likely antisocial.

But like a specific flavour where I've built my own moral compass based on not wanting to deal with negative stuff like jail and ruined image.

Her exact words were "society-conforming antisocial".

So yay I guess. It's nice to have a description and I'm definitely gonna do some more research...

I'm not sure exactly how to put this but I think the obsession in the general population with "spotting narcissists/sociopaths" and with assigning all abusers and otherwise awful people the label of N/ASPD comes from a place of trying to ignore that evil is something humans choose to do. There's already the obvious issue with acting as if any set of people is inherently bound to mistreat others, but I'm talking about the function it serves people when they make this assumption.

When you assume that there's a group of people who are innately evil because you consider them to be lacking some emotional or moral part that you consider inherent to the human experience, you're creating this group of people who you can view as inhuman. You can ascribe the worst evils in the world to them, because who else would do such things? Surely someone with human feeling wouldn't. You don't have to worry about the morality of yourself, then, because you're human, you're not ~missing something~ inside. You don't have to worry about the morality of your friends because you've seen their humanity, too. In reality abuse is a choice—not only is abuse something that N/ASPDs can choose not to commit, it's something that non-N/ASPDs can choose to commit. And by insisting that evil = N/ASPD and that N/ASPD = evil, people are absolving themselves and those they support of whatever they've done to hurt others, because they're Not Like That.

To want someone to be obsessed or very vocal and possessive over you.

But feeling no one would ever be that way towards you because no one interacts with you and you don't interact with anyone either.

I've always known I don't like talking to other people outside of my family (even them too)

Someone that lives in the same area as me my mom and sister was talking with us a lot today n took a lot of interest in me for some unforsaken reason..

I don't like it truthfully I don't, let me be invisible please don't acknowledge me leave me alone.

Their are reasons I keep to myself n have no friends irl but online friends I wouldn't mind because it's stressful but less stressful at the same time.

My little sister is a bit h a stupid one at that

She's so fucking annoying she ain't sh t she tries to act like me be like me and it infuriates me she can fuk off

Trying to act like a fighter or violent person pssh fucking hilarious she's a pussy if she actually got into a fight she'd piss herself scared

I've fought since I was a child my mom literally had to put a lock on her bedroom door (not proud /just for reference)

I've fought a grown ass man when I was just a teen and won the fight granted I spent

a whole whopping month in juvenile jail but whatever (my fault)

I'd at this point i'd love to fight her and put her in her rightful place (bloody n on the ground)

I've done it with one sister I'll do it again

If she doesn't stop disrespecting our mother and being a cvnt I will definitely do so gladly

literally tho

also if im being honest it's not just autism, like im autistic but i also hav a bunch of mental health stuff that also gets similar treatment 2 this like,,,

rando; "i hate it when ppl have intense emotions, why can't they just hav emotions at a 'normal' level of intensity like the rest of us, also i hate when ppl r clingy, also when it comes 2 emotions if some1 switches from 1 emotion 2 another 1 quickly then doesn't that just mean that they didn't actually really feel that emotion in the 1st place and they were just faking 4 attention? or at the very least if they did feel that emotion in the 1st place it clearly wasn't that big a deal if they got over it so quick also isn't that basically the same as emotionally abusing some1?"

me; "damn that sounds pretty ableist against people with borderline personality disorder"

rando; "actually it's ableist for you to imply that some1 having borderline personality disorder would do those things since those behaviours are obviously just bad and attention seeking and there's nothing to say that people with BPD can't just act 'normally' like everyone else"

me who hits the diagnostic criteria for BPD; "but i-"

rando; "also don't u hate it and think it's so cringe when people just end up basically becoming hermits and never leaving their house like omg go touch some grass already, i hope i never end up meeting a freak like that"

me; "well actually people with avoidant personality disorder might-"

rando; "honestly it just sounds like u just made that up bc ive never heard of it and also no disability would make some1 need 2 stay inside and away from ppl that much ur just being ableist"

me who hits nearly every symptom on the diagnostic criteria for AVPD; "no but the whole thing about that is-"

rando; "honestly i think you should try having more empathy i mean empathy really is the difference between being a good or bad person and also you should never lie to anyone and being selfish makes you inherently evil and any1 who doesn't feel bad abt hurting ppl in the 'right' way is a terrible person honestly and probably on their way to being a serial killer"

me who hits the diagnostic criteria for ASPD; "im not even gonna start with how ableist that is towards ppl with anti-social personality disorder because i know ur just gonna say every1 w/ ASPD is a serial killer or smth"

rando; "i mean yeah obviously"

rando 2; "actually some ppl w/ ASPD r able 2 b perfectly functioning members of society and don't hav any of those traits and acting like they do is kinda ableist but it's a common misconception"

me who knows that ASPD was a diagnosis created 4 ppl who struggle w/ morality in a way that is a disability and also has a lot of the 'bad people' traits of it and can't control that; ....so what it sounds like 2 me is u just want all disabled ppl 2 mask 24/7 so they fit into ur limit idea of what an acceptable person is and if they don't u either demonise them or call them cringe

there's honestly way more i could mention, like ppl getting annoyed abt ppl 4getting stuff but there's ppl who hav that as a symptom ect but these r just the 1s im seeing the most often lately that im the most mad abt rn

least favorite genre of tumblr discourse

"i hate people who have interests that are unusual in intensity or subject, who experience social difficulties that result in their saying and doing things that seem strange or inappropriate, or that prevent them from reaching expected cultural milestones like driving, having a steady job, or moving away from home, 'on time' or ever. those kinds of people are so cringe"

"oh that sounds pretty ableist against autistic people"

"*sputtering noise like the lady from the valentino white bag vine* how dare you imply that autistic people do those cringe things i just listed. that would make them losers and/or monsters, so by associating those behaviors with autistic people, maybe YOU'RE the real ableist. in fact, i'm autistic myself and all my interests are of socially appropriate intensity and i've never had trouble making a phone call and they just gave me the congressional medal of honor for understanding ironic social media jokes, and if i can do it so can everyone else"

no nuance version of a fandom take i hav bc i honestly don't hav the energy 2 explain this in depth rn but if u think Jax is an inherently bad person just bc he's being an asshole in a video game but that gangle who has real person anime figurines of her friends who don't know that she has those is an inherently good person bc she's a shy uwu bean then u actually need 2 shut up, Jax is a guy who very clearly displays multiple ASPD symptoms and is dealing with his chronic boredom by being violent 2 npcs in a video game and also just kinda passively a bit of an asshole verbally Gangle social anxiety-ed her way into being an actual stalker they are not the same

anyway as some1 who has ASPD it rly fucks me up how the fandom has reacted 2 Jax, like when it was the pilot y'all were more than happy 2 fetishise his ASPD symptoms but then as soon as his symptoms r showing slightly more when again, i cannot stress this enough, HE IS LITERALLY IN A VR GAME IN EPISODE 2! then y'all r like "omg he's terrible, what an inherently horrible person, he literally is the worst person here" actually shut up, i hate this fandom so much

ok so idk jack shit abt ODD so idk anything abt what ppl r saying abt that specifically but im reblogging bc i needed 2 point out that im not a fan of how many ppl in the replies r saying "this is just a kid reacting 2 being in an abusive situation therefore it's not a disorder" like bro how do u think i developed ASPD?

idk man, just rubs me the wrong way that ppl assume that disorder = bad ig? like... tbh a lot of these symptoms remind me of me when i was younger and yeh that was me reacting 2 my situation as a kid and i now as an adult hav figured out i most likely hav ASPD and b4 some1 says "well if it was just u reacting 2 an abusive situation it shouldn't b classed as a disorder" c that's the thing im not in that situation anymore and it still is affecting me and it definitely is disabling 4 me

idk i think we just need 2 get rid of the idea that having a disorder is a person being bad and acknowledge that yes a kid just reacting 2 being abused in a typical way a kid would react 2 that can lead 2 having a disorder, tbh that's a pretty common cause of cluster b personality disorders but u guys wouldn't know that since ur 2 busy demonising us and pretending we're all abusers and serial killers

like okay if i were 2 do a break down of the symptoms of ODD:

- resentful, imma b real idk what this word even actually means so ignoring this

- easily annoyed, irritability can b an actual symptom of a few different things including anxiety and cluster b personality disorders

- argues w adults, this 1 is just sus af and i think the main thing ppl hav a problem w, like no karen lil timmy calling u out when u said some racist ass shit in ur history class is not him having a disorder

- loses temper, this is the same as easily annoyed, just say irritability

- blames others, shifting blame and inability 2 accept fault can b an actual disabling problem 4 some ppl, usually due 2 perfectionism and fear of not being good enough, this can become a problem that can however impact ability 2 function w others socially and also can affect omes sense of self worth in a sort of self fulfilling cycle thing (i can't afford 2 do wrong --> i did wrong but i can't acknowledge that bc that's terrifying and would make me bad in some way --> i hav 2 blame some1 else --> oh shit that was also me doing wrong --> i feel worse now --> ect)

- annoys ppl deliberately, yeh as some1 w ASPD this is basically just how i cope w being bored and how i make friends lol, getting into serious stuff tho (and this is smth i also do) it can also b a way of feeling more in control of a situation or 1s environment which could b potentially a symptom if its smth that they fall back on a lot of if it's their go 2 but mainly bc of it impacting social relationships ect and also the potential indication of paranoia

- defies rules or requests, so like i agree w the ppl who c this and say "so what? what r u a cop?" but also demand avoidance is a thing and so if it's a case of like they wanna do smth but they can't do it if it's asked of them bc it then feels like they r being controlled ect then yeah i can c that being a symptom but if it's just them not doing smth they don't wanna do then it could easily just b normal kid behaviour, could also b an inability 2 understand that doing smth they don't wanna do now would lead 2 a favourable result in the future tho, so like on it's own it could b completely benign but if it has specifics behind it it could b demand avoidance or inability of future planning, both of which can b disabling 4 the person

- spiteful, much like resentful im not even sure what this means, ppl just seem 2 throw this word around a lot 2 b shitty so im ignoring it bc wtf

so when we boil it down we hav

- irritability (but listed twice 4 some reason?)

- shifting blame (which could b a sign of perfectionism)

- annoys ppl deliberately (which could b a way of coping w boredom or a way of trying 2 gain some control over an environment in which they feel they don't hav control)

- demand avoidance (which is when u can't do a thing some1 asked u 2 do even if u actually want 2 do the thing) OR lack of future planning

so a lot of these symptoms line up w paranoia and specifically the feeling of being in an unsafe environment but acting in a way that could b disabling 4 the person that has it should this behaviour b consistent in a safer environment also no, school is not a "safer environment"

from what i can c it seems like the main argument ppl hav 4 pushing back on the idea of diagnosing a kid w smth (which im not saying ODD is a valid diagnosis btw, like i said idk jack shit abt it im just talking in general abt diagnosing w smth in general here) is "this is not the kid doing anything wrong" and "this is a result of environment" and "ppl r gonna treat the kid like shit bc of this" which like.... doesn't mean the kid doesn't hav a problem, it means that ur acknowledging that the kid isn't doing anything wrong and is reacting 2 their environment but u c a diagnosis as a punishment 4 "bad behaviour" idk, just rubs me the wrong way ig bc of ppl going "this is environment and the kid reacting in a way that is normal 2 react in an unsafe environment" but when i an adult w ASPD exist as some1 who developed ASPD from being a kid in an unsafe environment suddenly im apparently "serial killer coded" or whatever like... u know a kid can hav a disorder without it being that the kid did smth wrong right? and that it's fucked up in general that ppl w disorders r treated like they r doing smth wrong by having those disorders right?

I feel like ODD being an official disorder in the DSM should be the thing that makes everyone go “hm” about how psychology is practiced

Altered Stasis / Positive Discharge

Disagree strongly

Disagree somewhat

Agree somewhat

Agree strongly

-

When I took it the first time it occurred to me that it was lacking in nuance

-

When I see myself in others I can't help but be happy for them

-

I'm often bored

And I struggle to say it without saying it

-

At times it appears enrichment is my primary motivator

What a blessing, then, to live in such an enriching world

With so many goodies

-

I'm scared though

To say it I mean

-

The Quick Brown Fox Jumps Over The Lazy Dog

-

That sentence contains secret significance

I will not elaborate

-

I LIVE IN A VAMPIRES CASTLE

-

I run down the walls and seep into the floorboards

-

Parts of me get caught in the doorways

-

At times I feel like the echo of an echo

-

The nature of my existence is thus that I'm a metaphor for the things you leave behind

-

I've never wondered who I used to be

-

I still haven't said it

I'm still afraid

-

despite my present affliction I still care what others think

-

When they say something funny I laugh

-

I rehearsed this

-

This poem is a window into the mind of a–

-

I'm still afraid to say it

-

There's consequences to being the way I am

-

From another perspective

There's consequences to being the way anyone is

shop.ingramspark.com

Chemical Messengers

Chemical Messengers is a collection of poems ranging from less than a page to four pages. Although primarily autobiographical at times it to

hey everyone my first book is available for sale now!

ASPD Resource Dump

feel free to reblog! here are some resources related to ASPD that i've collected since i've being diagnosed (roughly 5 years).

Sympathetic Articles

An Autistic Sociopath's Story, Cassy, through Special Books by Special Kids (video. an autistic pwASPD talks about her life and experiences with both.)

An Interview with a Sociopath, Dyshae, through Special Books by Special Kids (video. a pwASPD and bipolar disorder talks about his life and experiences with both.)

Life With Antisocial Personality Disorder (ASPD), Andrew, through mind.org.uk (a pwASPD's account of their life and experiences with it.)

The Hidden Suffering of the Psychopath, William H. J. Martens, MD, PhD (a sympathetic view of pwASPD, and some information on the neurobiology of ASPD.)

Factors for Development

Antisocial personality disorder in abused and neglected children grown up., B. K. Luntz, C. S. Widom (from 1994. provides evidence supporting the fact that child abuse/neglect is a predictor of antisocial behavior.)

Antisocial Personality Disorder with Childhood- vs Adolescence-Onset Conduct Disorder, Risë B. Goldstein et al. (from 2006. discusses how symptoms vary in pwASPD whose conduct disorder began in childhood vs in adolescence.)

Predictors of antisocial personality: Continuities from childhood to adult life, Emily Simonoff et al. (from 2018. draws connections between childhood behaviors, diagnoses, etc., and antisocial behavior in adulthood.)

Risk Factors in Childhood That Lead to the Development of Conduct Disorder and Antisocial Personality Disorder, Stacey E. Holmes, James R. Slaughter, Javad Kashani (from 2001. covers multiple categories that may lead to development of CD and/or ASPD, including environment, genetics, and individual differences.)

Miscellaneous Articles

Antisocial Personality Disorder: Neurophysiological Mechanisms and Distinct Subtypes, Sean J. McKinley (from 2018. proposes three diagnostic subtypes for ASPD: primarily detached, primarily disinhibited, and combined.)

Executive function, attention, and memory deficits in antisocial personality disorder and psychopathy, Michael Baliousis et al. (from 2019. discusses some neurobiology of ASPD, and how it effects executive function, attention, and memory.)

Self-mutilation in antisocial personality disorder, M. Virkkunen (from 1976. reports on self-injury behaviors in pwASPD, and details their motivations.)

☆ Wednesday, October 2, 2024

☆ Gonna hit the Stiiizy hard and shower. 420 gang, yes indeed.

I'm diagnosed aspd/ non npd, autistic, ptsd, c-ptsd with extreme dissociation, dissociative amnesia and dissociative fugue, anxiety disorder, ocd ( chaotic) , mdd, depression inducuced agoraphobia.

I was dx a plethora of other things along the way, but everything else has been taken off the table the last year/ year and a half.

I'm open about everything except my aspd. Few people know about that because of the stigmatization and so many people just clumping it with npd? They are different disorders.

Like most cluster b disorders, they are trauma and environmentally induced. YOU CAN GET TREATMENT FOR THE SYMPTOMS.

- What it's like for me? I'm very emotionally flat. Or I definitely was a lot more before treatment. I didn't understand empathy, compassionate. I had to Google that one. It's very rare that I feel bad or remorseful for anything I do. I don't see the point. I made the choice to do it. It's very hard for me to connect to the emotions of other people. I mostly just do not care, though I've learned that is inappropriate. It's rare that I find interest in friendships, companionship, a partner. I do get bored easily. Becoming I don't understand emotions, I find life to be quite meaningless. Hence the MDD. I do have horrible intrusive thoughts, but again, I'm in treatment. I'm currently going through hormonally treatment to treat the dangerous symptoms that accompany aspd. With all cluster b, it's a reason but it is not an excuse. You have to put in major major work to undo what caused it to begin with.

If you have other questions feel free.

A genuine question for people with ASPD or/and NPD

People with ASPD (antisocial personality disorder) or/and NPD (narcissistic personality disorder), I am genuinely curious about what you believe is the core part of aspd and npd, and how you see the world. How does it feel to have these disorders? How do people treat you? How do you treat people? How can one understand how it must be like for you?

These disorders are VERY stigmatised. Even actual medical journals and sites perpetuate this stigmatisation, and there's this whole thing of "narcissistic abuse" or that all people with antisocial personality disorder are serial killers. I simply refuse to believe this, it's not nuanced enough, and I genuinely seek to understand. And maybe other people may find this thread of posts and also understand.

So people with npd/aspd, add on, explain anything you wish people knew about your disorder.

Coming from a fellow person with a highly stigmatised disorder (schizophrenia) who wishes to understand.

Y’all in my psychology class we are talking about mental disorders this week. Tell me why my teacher showed a celebrity example of each disorder, and for NPD she showed HITLER. For aspd she showed Marilyn Manson! The rest was like Selena Gomez and shit. Is that really the best example of NpD and aspd? She said on Wednesday we will talk more about NPD.

Should I tell the class I have NPD? I don’t know what to say I want to defend myself but I suck at debates. Any advice?

A genuine question for people with ASPD or/and NPD

People with ASPD (antisocial personality disorder) or/and NPD (narcissistic personality disorder), I am genuinely curious about what you believe is the core part of aspd and npd, and how you see the world. How does it feel to have these disorders? How do people treat you? How do you treat people? How can one understand how it must be like for you?

These disorders are VERY stigmatised. Even actual medical journals and sites perpetuate this stigmatisation, and there's this whole thing of "narcissistic abuse" or that all people with antisocial personality disorder are serial killers. I simply refuse to believe this, it's not nuanced enough, and I genuinely seek to understand. And maybe other people may find this thread of posts and also understand.

So people with npd/aspd, add on, explain anything you wish people knew about your disorder.

Coming from a fellow person with a highly stigmatised disorder (schizophrenia) who wishes to understand.

something that has helped me disconnect from codependancy is realizing that married couples arent always together. they live together and spent time together but a lot of the time they just arent together but they still love eachother. they dont need to sleep in the same bed they dont need to constantly show eachother affection they can just coexist and still love eachother unconditionally. love isnt sacrificing every moment for someone, its having your life made better by their existence while you live