Boundless Sands: Wilbur DSMP Finale / Thoughts

Boundless Sands: Wilbur DSMP Finale / Thoughts

im

sobbing.

okay holy shit-

I wasn't there for L'manberg when it first started so the scene at the van didn't give me any nolstalgia

hoyl fuck okay so las nevadas, the boner thing where in the reading stream wilbur read that was supposed to happen in 4 streams but couldnt cause stuff and then ranboo lost a life there with the explosion

TOMMY ARE YOU OKAY- WILBUR WHY ARE YOU LEAVING- I WANTED TO CRY AND THEN TOMMY HIT HIM ADN I JUST WHARHDAIUDH-

WILBURS AN AMERICAN?????? CANON?

HOLY SHIT WILBUR SOOT IN REVIVED BUR COSPLAY WHAT THE FUCK I NEVER THOUGHT ID SEE THIS

GHOSTBUR

seeing ghostbur and friend made me want to fucking cry AND I DID CRY, I SOBBED SO HARD

and i just

HOLY SHIT SO MUCH HAPPENED??

ALSO

what was the TW for? It said 'TW: Suicide' which scared me really badly and they were yelling and shit and i wasnt doing well lol

but nothing bad actually happened- it was just mentioned. was that just what the TW was for? just for the mention D:??

also but holy fuck man

i am emotionally drained after that, i cant- i cant give you paragraphs rn im so fuckin

just

WILBUR???? FROM UTAH???? I wanted to laugh and to cry and just

holy fuck man

what about tommy?

100 Years / A Post-Passerine SongFic

After the events of Passerine, there sat Wilbur, sitting next to Tommy's grave, and singing him a song he made, reminiscing about the past. ☽✦☾ Passerine by blujamas 100 Years by OR3O

another songfic lol

uh. funny story- so I started this oneshot on the 8th of August, and then procrastinated until today where my playlist played 100 years and I was like 'oh yeah I have that WIP-' and then speed ran it and cried because im emotional as fuck

lmAO

woo we all love passerine dont we

current fic wips im working on

sorry ive been quiet as fuck LOL

uhh..

the next part of the scu x dsmp crossover thing im doing (I'm still working on a title, idk man its subject to change and contains possible spoilers)

chapter 4 of this multi-chapter story (except i havent touched it in weeks sOBS im gonna procrastinate so long it becomes discontinued, ITS BEEN MONTHS SINCE IVE UPDATED THe STORY LOL) \/ vent rant. dont read if you arent interested ig :'D? \/

uh.. a vent fic. that is probably cursed and problematic and i apologize is it still problematic if im venting and quite literally projecting on two comfort characters to act out the events in a similar fashion of a thing that caused me trauma? idk man ive never actually fully gotten into detail but im not pulling any stops now (besides the censor of a dead name because one is trans, and i cant handle hearing my dead name in writing, and cant for all hell think of one) 'Closure (That's all I wanted.)' fact to add onto that vent fic- so actually, fun fact, tommys dsmp prison stream where he visited dream to get closure and then kinda.. yknow was what inspired me in the end to try to find closure from my.. 'abuser'? manipulator? i dont know man. person who caused me major trauma that later ended up in me wishing death upon myself and shit? (dont worry, i got over it eventually. im okay now) yeah so anyway that stream made me think, 'huh, maybe i should try to get closure. this should be fine' yeah no it wasnt fine, i shouldve gotten the hint from the thing with tommy lmao?? but so basically its just been kinda bothering me but i never did actually talk about it to someone, so watch me pour out my trauma shit except im too squeamish so it probably has shit pacing but if i pull up the old messages ill get so nervous and panicky i cant write for shit im sorry, its tombur. i needed a minor and someone who said minor would automatically have a trust and depend on that then that person goes into a depressive state and does fucked up probably illegal shit to said minor in that shitty state because-- it wouldnt make sense otherwise when im trying to project the events..? just note that its a bad idea to try to go to a minor for help when you have mental health issues as like a teen or adult because then you pass that onto them and make them feel shittier trying to take care of you and-- im gonna stop now. im sorry, agh. problematic ship, haha. i guess youd call a part of my trauma a problematic ship though because it was minor/minor and-- am i allowed to make like jokes about this? i dont know man, people are like 'you cant make gay jokes unless youre gay!', you think that fits here? probably not. im gonna go disappear now D:

i actually dont know if the vent fic is helping since im kinda having bad days more now but i mean like.. if i never get this out, then i never will, and hey maybe im nervous for nothing and itll be fine and then maybe i can cope this way by venting out all my trauma lol

Pov England when the queen dies

honestly? Yeah, I understand the importance of knowing that you can always back out.

For me, my pronouns and gender have honestly been changing during the course of a few years.

For most of my life, as AFAB, I always thought of myself as one, and didn't really question it, but it wasn't like I knew there were other choices? To me when I was younger, it was just male and female, nothing else.

But during this time where information is widespread, there have been on and offs for me. I've been a She/Her (Female), She/He/They (Female), They/He (Male/Nonbinary), They/Them (Nonbinary), They/Night/Nightself (Nonbinary)

honestly its been a bit of a rollercoaster, and I mean, sure, I might not end up going through struggles of de-transitioning, but for me, in that scenario if I ever had decided to get surgery to change my sex gender, as there had been a time I did label myself as a male, then I would probably have a dick.

But then you think about it. Do those labels really fit you? And then you realize that its changed, and then, well- what do you do then if you, say, fully switch to a nonbinary (Or even back to the opposite gender?)? But then what if that doesn't feel right either, that it just by itself doesn't fully label you??

I mean I could go on about labels forever, but honestly I never thought about it before though. De-transitioning. It's honestly a thing most probably wouldn't notice until pointed out, or in the unfortunate position of realizing that it still doesn't feel right after the surgery and that you'd want to change your mind or something like that, which sucks.

Honestly I can't even really think about how that would work. Transitioning is a whole process in and of itself if you wanna go through changing your body to what you want it to be, even if you're just not doing anything physically about it, like changing an appearance or getting surgery, but more so just letting friends and family know- and then imagine ending up changing your mind, wanting to go through de-transitioning, yet then it could give off the thought that either you were faking, (which honestly- why would anyone fake something like that? there's no point, so I wouldn't really get why they'd think so. you dont earn anything by faking it?) or that you'd probably change your mind all the time, and eventually that could lead to irritation, or just people to stop caring about your changing pronouns and gender and whatnot (I can't even imagine how it could be for Genderfluid people when the constant (dont get me wrong, theres probably different times for everyone when it changes) changes of their pronouns and/or gender could be hard to keep up with for others.)

You sometimes end up in a shitty situation, and sure, sometimes there are those who are patient and understanding, but not everyone's like that. It's kinda a not so great thing that I haven't heard about this until now? I mean, the trans people and gender identity and LGBTQ and all that had gotten a little bit bigger, or more out there as far as I can tell, and yet there are still some things that are important to know about but just don't get out there.

What if someone got in this situation, where they'd want to change or something? You don't really hear much about that as a whole, and sure, there are some articles and stuff over that, but there is just not enough exposure I feel. Maybe I'm just not as connected to the internet, and maybe it has been gone over before, but if someone like me who's been in the gender community doesn't hear about it, who's still changing and still learning, then that kind of speaks for itself.

aAaaa woah I went on a huge rant there whoops

its important to me as a detrans woman to be vocal about it. its important to me as a detrans woman who initially only had radfems to talk to about detransition, because i couldnt find a single trans inclusive detrans person for over a year, to make sure other people know they have options.

radfems arent your aly if you're questioning your gender. they dont have your best interest at heart. they dont care about helping you explore who you are, theyre only interested in sucking you in to be another transmisogynistic pawn for their violent ideology.

if you're trans/nonbinary now, but are wondering if it isnt right for you, know that you have options. you can talk to me. there are people who have not done a 180 into bigotry who are here to support you.

please reblog, do not just like, this post.

i dont have a large platform. i want this to get spread. i want to remove terfs from the forefront of detrans/reidentification awareness & support. they cannot continue to be the first contact for questioning people.

i am begging you, yes you personally, to please reblog this, and comment or reply in the tags if you're a safe, trans-inclusive detransitioned or reidentified person to approach.

Scratched Warnings & Chipped Cards / DSMP Hero AU [Calamity Duo-centric] Fic

(A Disc and a Poker Chip walk into a bar..) <this is crossed out 🖸/🖸 Tommy's a vigilante, who, like the dumbass he is, doesn't check his fucking messages. ♤.♤ (Quackity proceeds to break into his house through the window) <this is crossed out ⚅-⚅ Quackity's the big man who runs everything, and knowing that Tommy is a dumb fuck, comes after him to warn him in-person.

basically superhero au ig

uh.. calamity duo. i did this because i like calamity duo lmao-

this isnt that good lol its like a shitpost