13.08.21

13.08.21

Well, technically the 14th since I got up at 2am. Pictured above are Cassiopeia, Perseus, probably part of Andromeda, Triangulum, and part of Auriga. Listened to Claire de Lune; Moonlight Sonata (1st Movement); Tchaikovsky: Swan Lake, Op. 20, Act 2: Scene (Moderato); Nocturne No. 2 in E-Flat Major; Near Light; Gymnopédie No. 1; and the episode entitled Capacity for Wonder in John Green’s The Anthropocene Reviewed. In the hour that I was out, I saw at least 42 meteors: a number obtained through a bit of selective counting. At one point I just stopped to take it all in.

“That, then, is loveliness, we said,/ Children in wonder watching the stars,/ Is the aim at the end.” —Dylan Thomas, Being But Men

27.09.21

POLONIUS: What do you read, my lord?

HAMLET: Words, words, words.

I confess, I didn’t get an awful lot done over the weekend. Just finished doing a couple peer reviews. Today I spent finishing my English lessons and readings for the week so I’ll have time to work on the essay due Friday. I did some Spanish and linguistics too for some variation.

“But, orderly to end where I begun,

Our wills and fates do so contrary run

That our devices still are overthrown.

Our thoughts are ours, their ends none of our own.”

Perhaps a more apt quotation would lie in saying I do protest too much, methinks. Despite my productivity, this work was actually to put off doing the assignments due tomorrow in French and my other linguistics class. Oops.

“This is the excellent foppery of the world, that, when we are sick in fortune, often the surfeit of our own behaviour, we make guilty of our disasters the sun, the moon, and the stars; as if we were villains on necessity; fools by heavenly compulsion; knaves, thieves, and treachers by spherical pre-dominance; drunkards, liars, and adulterers by an enforc’d obedience of planetary influence; and all that we are evil in, by a divine thrusting on.”

12.08.21

And another one gone. Finished last night, so I’m onto the next one. I love reading science fiction, but reading about our past when it was the future is… wow. Definitely an interesting book. The pretentious side of me wants to look into the deeper meaning behind each story and educate myself so I can feel cultured and superior. The feral half wants whatever drugs Bradbury had.

Do I have eclectic taste? Perhaps. Did I actually start Crooked Kingdom before I finished this one? Yes. Did I also start 3 others, not including the one I have checked out from the library? Will I be getting up at 2am to watch the Perseids? Do I shout too many rhetorical questions into the void?

P.S. Hello void, nice to meet you :)

I feel stuck. I’m making great progress. I’m losing my mind, I’m doing so much better than before. I love studying. I want to drop out and move to the countryside. I’ve got it all figured out. I feel completely lost.

me: im giving up *still has hope*

03.09.21

How am I only a day in and already behind?

*squints at the chaos of yesterday and this morning*

Guess I’m just an inadequate failure of a human being.