Depression Is Best Articulated As Loneliness Imo. Its Cold And Isolating, Unrelentless In Its Ignorance

depression is best articulated as loneliness imo. its cold and isolating, unrelentless in its ignorance of reality. in moments of clarity, i am able to feel the love my friends so readily give me. but most the time i am alone. i long for what i have.

i seek solace in articulation. verbalizing abstract thoughts is one of lifes greatest pleasures imo! diaries, this blog lol, essays, etc i love it all

obsessed rn with the notion that a tree was planted the day i was born. i imagine a lofty redwood (already 65 ft!) imbued with ambitions of touching the sky. protected by lush canopy, it has been weathered by neither neither time nor circumstance. it is sturdy and, when it sways in the wind, it never anticipates plummeting onto the rocky terrain below. we are diametrically different, but we have grown together. idk i just find that so comforting!!

"I am not well; I could have built the Pyramids with the effort it takes me to cling on to life and reason."

Franz Kafka, Letters to Felize

the 'humanity is inherently evil' and 'the humanity is inherently pure' crowds both clamor for meaning when disposed to the 'humanity inherently has choices' mentality

looking back through my notes app rn and reading all the words/phrases i furiously scribbled into rememberance. their once inherent meaning is now incomprehensible, lost upon time, but maybe thats why they feel so potent to me.

i will never again understand why 'a candle burning on both ends' was so integral to me at one point or why articulating 'empty ideals' felt like finding a lost piece of my identity. i remember why i wrote '22' (on a particularly miserable tuesday, i was struck by how beautiful it is to depend on having a future. someday i will be 22 and so forth) but i will never again be capable of understanding why this affected me so deeply.

isnt impermanence so beautiful?