And It's Here!!

and it's here!!

nervous because it's going to be my first story specifically for someone AND a personalised 'theme' but uh 🥹 i can do this 💪

(1) notification ▶ you have mail!

this holiday season, cozy up with us at the deoboyznet house for our annual holiday party! this event features our first ever secret santa fic exchange, and housemates are invited to write a piece to "gift" to someone randomly assigned to them!

works for this event should conform to house guidelines. only housemates (members of the network) may submit a piece; if you are interested in joining, find information to do so here! all works submitted for this event will be compiled into a masterlist after the deadline.

to submit, make sure to tag your post with the usual #deoboyznet tracker, and the special #dbn: holiday party tag! and don't forget to tag the person it was written for so they can read their gift :] doors open from november 2nd until january 7th—we hope to see you there!

— happy holidays, everyone <3

i love her guys 🥺❤️

Dropping something in a few @from-izzy

I just cannot stay still 😰

as always, counting on @littleroaes for games! 🤭 thank you dora! 💌💜 look at dora's answers here!

rule: the first ten songs from my on repeat playlist

bad habits 💥 - cravity like we just met 🫂 - nct dream steal the show 🫶 - lauv baggy jeans 👖 - nct u veni vidi vici 💪 - cravity graduation 🎓 - nct dream memories ⭐ - riize pado 🌊 - nct u childhood ❤️‍🩹 - the rose party rock 🎉 - cravity

tagging (no pressure loves): @winterchimez @cloverdaisies (...🥺) @heemingyu @zzoguri @justalildumpling @sungbeam @kimsohn

that's him, that's just who he is | tbz kevin moon

» ​PAIRING: tbz kevin moon x gn! reader (proofread but lmk if i missed anything!)​ » TROPE/AU​: childhood friends 2 strangers, highschool and slight uni au!, non-idol au!, idol au! (just kevin towards the end) » GENRE​: once again...angst, fluff and comfort from the flashbacks, kevin being an extremely supportive friend, you're also an extremely supportive friend!, platonic 'i love you's being said, you both met at church, choir and ensemble singing!, you both are shy introverts that are only chaotic with each other » WORD COUNT: 4179 (2k word limit who?) » ESTIMATED READING TIME: ~15 mins » WARNINGS (lmk if i missed anything!): mentions of Christianity (not sure if it's a 'warning' but i felt like it should be mentioned!), swearing (b-word), mentions stress relating to: academic (high school), music and performing » PLAYLIST: you never know - HSMTMTS, you better know - red velvet, reflection - christina aguilera, steal the show - lauv, try everything - shakira navi/masterlist!! 🤍 series introduction 🤍 series masterlist

my second story for my project! this may be my favourite story ever ❤️‍🩹

ahhhh this got so personal so quickly 🥹 performing has always been for leisure for me, and for the same reasons in this story, i got so burnt out last year. writing this really made me realise how much i miss the stage. going from about 7 performances a year to only about 1 is to put it simply, heartbreaking.

but i learnt that there are opportunities. i learnt that i'm satisfied with just getting my voice out to the world whether it be through choir, the internet or on the streets. i think things will work out; time does help sometimes 🫶

for those who may not know, kevin's representative number is 16 🌙 and the meaning of this number is explained in this video! i did some research and found that it's from 1 Peter 5:6.

to my readers who are followers of God: I pray that you will always be filled with hope and joy as you advance in your daily endeavours. Believe that God has the best plans for you and that He will never leave you behind, especially when you are at your lowest. Confide in Him and love Him as much as He loves you.

“Can I sing this part with Kevin?”

The question is new to everyone who heard it. Did you just ask to do a supposed solo with someone else? No, you were not a greedy performer though you understood why most people would think that. The choir conductor looks to the other side of the ensemble where the group of altos stood. Including the older woman, all the children including the said boy stood there surprised at the request you asked for.

You’ve been singing in the church youth choir since you were ten and you were incredibly gifted. For example, you landed most of the solos and smaller ensemble parts whenever there was a chance. At first, you didn’t want to be in this church because you were shy (incredibly shy) and you never made a lot of friends in school and most definitely, outside of school. Needless to say, your parents were pretty worried but at the very least, they found that when you were asked to go to church events, you were able to talk with people, smile, and laugh but then you would go back into your shell.

Your parents met at this church through singing and performing together as part of the choir and the band. The children were around your age but you found that your interests mainly conflicted with them and it was hard to keep up with their conversations.

So, when a certain Moon family moved into your area and started attending their local church, Kevin, who happens to be a boy who is incredibly gifted in music, joined the choir with that unique, radiant, excited smile on his face. With a simple and friendly “Hello everyone. My name is Kevin, I’m fifteen and am very excited to be here!” Contrasting to his introduction, you found that Kevin was just as introverted as you were and with your courage to finally approach someone, you made your first friend. School life became better as well when you found out that Kevin attended the same school as you.

Going back to the first dialogue though, the duet did happen and the church community knew that you both were the perfect musical partners for each other. Your softer soprano voice complimented Kevin’s deeper alto voice easily. You both found yourself auditioning, performing, and showcasing your team work together in a bunch of school, church, and even the larger community-based musical events. 

Now, after eight years of joining the choir, three after meeting Kevin, you were both in a state of uncertainty, distress, and frustration with the piles of sheet music that scattered everywhere to the point where it was almost covering the surface of your room’s floor. Your hair strands were everywhere and you were sick with the school uniform that you’ve had on since seven in the morning. You both have been secluding yourselves in your room, going back and forth with the arrangement of your final high school piece that you are going to perform with Kevin within less than a week.

The current situation in one word: messy. 

It’s all a mess. About a week ago out of nowhere, your voice decided to have its own mind and leave for about a week. Kevin had a sudden test that his teacher thought would be fun to assign at the last minute. You also had this assignment that you were going to do but you found a mistake in the written arrangement, a note that was about a tone and a half out of your range, and since Kevin was better at rhythm, arrangement, and using the composing software, you could only sit next to his left in the corner of your room as he groaned at how the app was not doing what you both wanted to do.

So yes…it’s a mess, and it’s been around three hours.

“This is impossible.” A few more of your tears manage to trickle down your already red, puffy cheeks, “Okay you know what, I’ll just sing it. It’s fine. It’s not even two tones above what I usually sing in AND I’ve done it befo—”

“Lost your voice and felt lightheaded after.” Kevin cuts off your panicked rambles. No doubt, he’s feeling all the things that you are feeling right now but the only reason why he’s still able to muster up a smile and just ‘inhale, exhale’ through it all is because at the very least, one of you should be able to stay grounded, “We’re not going to put out a performance that we’re not proud of, okay? Especially when this is our last high school performance together.”

“We also said that we wouldn’t do any performances that were out of our capabilities.” At these words, you were both reminded of the promise you made to each other in front of your melted ice creams. It was an ‘oath’ that was made when you both realised you would be standing on the same stage, at the same time more often:

We will finish every performance to the best of our capabilities. We will focus more on quality rather than quantity.

At the new educational path that you were about to embark on, automatically closing this one that you’ve been on for just about six years, you were both starting to get greedy, wanting more than anything now to be on stage. With you both turning eighteen, you both couldn’t sing with the youth choir anymore. Taking music as a subject in high school meant there was a certain prerequisite in terms of how many stages you would have to perform; you and Kevin always exceeded this regardless with solos, duets, or larger ensembles. With graduation, however, the granted opportunity to perform would be taken away from you both and you were getting restless.

You were both greedy, forgetting almost all the other priorities that you had set out, and raked the internet for any chances to perform on stage. For the last two months, both of you have been juggling between your heavy study load, auditioning, composing, arranging, practising, and bowing at the end of it all. To the untrained ear, they could have probably missed the way you were momentarily out of tune or the way that Kevin missed his entry due to his fatigue. The greed consumed you both and most of the stages that you performed were nowhere near satisfactory for any standards that you both set for yourself. After the first performance that you were bashing yourself over, you rationalised that you would need to do another one to make up for the ‘loss’ from the previous one. That you NEED to go to another stage to make up for the ‘loss’ from the previous one.

That cycle is deadly and it keeps going for a while.

“Kev…I’m tired.” It feels like after a whole three years of back-to-back, almost seemingly non-stop performances in addition to the sudden addition from the past two months, you have finally hit a wall that you never wanted to admit. Kevin didn’t need verbal words to know the reason behind the lack of enthusiasm and the way the lyrics sing are no longer as projected and emotionful as before; because it was the same way to him.

“I know…” Kevin sighs. He finally relieves the downward strain on his neck, pulling it back up to rest against the wall. Offering you both comfort, he wraps his arm around the back of your shoulder, his palm pulling your left forearm to get you closer to him, “I’m sorry, I can’t get this right.”

“No, don’t say that.” You finally give in, plopping your head on his left shoulder in defeat, “I’m sorry. You’re doing your best.”

You let most of the silence fill you both, the hints of the trackpad clicking and the way the note that Kevin clicked would play out of his laptop’s speaker to audibly confirm the note that he just readjusted on the musical lines. Kevin’s left hand is maneuvering on the trackpad while his hand pats on your head that rested on his left shoulder, humming comfortingly while you calm your racing thoughts.

“But hey.” Kevin finally speaks up, “I just wanted to say that I like how busy this is making me.” Nodding to his own words, “It makes me forget the other subjects for a while.”

You exhale, knowing how much Kevin has been having a hard time with the other core subjects but still wakes up every day and chooses to smile courageously, “But this isn’t the right way. To forget other things, I mean.”

“I know, I know.” The boy lets out a little ‘aha’ when he finally finds the rhythm that you both wanted, playing the bar again and again, tapping his index finger on his thigh as he follows the 4/4 count, “But hey, thanks for accepting this performance even with all the final year-end exams. Or else I would REALLY be overthinking that recent chemistry test.”

“Love you, bro.” Reminding him thoughtfully to calm the noise in his head, “I’m always here for you.”

“Love you too, sis.” Playfully, he makes a fist and gently taps your forehead with his knuckles, emitting a laugh from you, “Just take a rest, okay? I’ll just,” Kevin adjusts his slouching posture, straightening his back fully against the wall so that his shoulders are higher and more comfortable for you to lay on, “be on another war with this app. You would expect I know all the tricks after using it for a year but guess not.”

So yes, it was a bit of a mess but on the bright side, you are both extremely proud of that final stage together as high school students. It earned a huge round of applause from the audience and many thankful regards were given by all the teachers in the department of music. It was a bittersweet feeling to see the head of music cry at the realisation that he would never see his two best students attend his class anymore but he made you both promise to visit once in a while.

But the performance being an open event, neither of you realised the opportunities or the types of people that would attend the concert. And so here you both are in an educational setting but with casual clothing unlike the blazer, tie, and the one hundred percent cotton blouses that you were forced to wear.

“Gosh Kev, you’re so funny!” Kevin smiles nervously, biting on his bottom lip as he refuses to look at you at all. You continued to laugh a little bit more, the tears in your eyes and the stitch on your abdomen growing with each breath you took. It’s when Kevin doesn’t laugh along or show any indications of joining in that you raise your eyebrows, some sort of nervousness in your eyes, “Wait, you’re being serious?!”

“It’s crazy, I know!” You just stare at him in shock, your mouth hanging wide open at your best friend next to you, “I think I’ll take the chance and university can wait. People can apply to university anytime but this?” He is finally telling you his worries and thoughts that have been running endlessly after two months of keeping it in, “It’s kind of time crucial.”

"Yes,” You understood his worries, knowing that the life of being a celebrity or an idol is quite limited. It has never been said explicitly but at least for Korean companies, there is a reason why there is always a certain age limitation when auditioning, “I get that but Kevin, are you sure? I get that you've always been into music and you've always been good at it! Trust me, I know! But you've always wanted to be here as well! You never really wanted to be a musical artist."

"That's why life is crazy right?"

You just finished your last class of the day and surprisingly Kevin shows up, waiting for you, looking conflicted and stressed about a subject that you obviously did not know about. His tired smile told you everything, you being able to read him easily like an open book. Kevin realises this, his shoulder slumping in defeat with how you look at him in concern and he feels your hesitation to keep the conversation going.

“Your ‘passive-aggressive tiger parents’ are good with it?”

“Well,” Reminded of the day that Stella convinced their parents to let him go with his path and to support his desires, “I guess so? They let me do everything and introduced me to music so it ain't my fault!" He finally turns to you for the first time after the laughing fit, "You’ll support me right?"

"Of course I will!" You confirm incredulously, both your eyebrows raising and the volume of the sentence rising with each word, “Damn we only met a bit over three years ago but it really does feel like we’ve been friends since birth.”

Kevin shrugs, happy with your genuine response to his uncertainties, “I’m just cool in that way.”

A roll of your eyes is your only response to him, “So, when’s the last time that I’ll see your ‘slay’ful face?”

He grimaces at the way you worded the adjective, “Ew, what is that word?” But then the truth had to be dropped someday; that being right now, “Y-Yeah about that.”

“Kevin Moon.” You frown at the way he just whistles to avoid the subject, an obvious action to buy time, “Kevin.”

"Not too soon! Like…like five days…"

Comedically, the crows on the campus made their signature noise and you took in the information slowly.

"WHAT THE BLEEP DUDE?!"

"OKAY IN MY DEFENCE I REALLY DIDN'T KNOW WHAT TO DO! YOU KNOW HOW INDECISIVE I AM!"

"OKAY BUT YOU NEVER BOTHERED TO TELL ME?!"

"I'M SORRY!"

Smiling at the obvious decrease in the stack of papers that needed to be marked, you decide to stretch your limbs and take a breath of fresh air before your energetic third graders arrive at school. You really left it to the last minute and you can’t wait to finish the last day of the week so that you can chill until another week starts. The weather was strangely gloomy, possibly due to the rainfall and the colder wind. You kind of regretted coming out, especially since the steam from your coffee no longer had that hypnotising white swirl in the air.

But you didn’t leave.

Instead, you even lean over the balcony’s metal railing. Even with the long sleeve covering your elbows, you enjoyed the contrast between your still-healthy body temperature and the icy surface. You weren’t sure why either but you just wanted to bask in the cold air and you can only pray that you weren’t going to get sick. The weather causes your shoulders to tense, bringing them towards the centre of your body to try and conserve some heat. It didn’t work that well but you were still feeling some sort of comfort with the morning weather. 

You didn’t realise the time that passed by faster when you were practically doing nothing. The driveway, parking lots, and walkways eventually fill themselves with the diverse colours of school bags, shoes, and hair accessories. Mentally preparing yourself for the day ahead, you prepared your ‘teacher smile’, trying your best to hide your fatigue from the seemingly long week. 

"Teacher, teacher!" 

You finally lean away from the railing, giving a slight nod to the parent of your most energetic student, and the gesture is returned straight away. Crouching down to match his eye level, you put your palm out to him and he slaps his palm on yours, "Wow. Looks like someone had too much sugar."

"Teacher! Do you know K-Pop?" Your body froze just like the raindrops that didn’t make it to the floor, hanging solid on the rooftop’s overhang, "It's a huge thing right now!"

Oh, if only he knew…

"I can hear your rumbling thoughts like an open book." After his flustered state and a string of apologies that led you to put him in a joking headlock, Kevin grew quiet once again, letting his thoughts fill in the atmosphere between you both, "What's up? And don't lie because you know you suck at it."

The boy attempts to change the subject again, "If it's a book then wouldn't it be read instead of heard?"

"...ok smartass." You stare at him unimpressed with his attempt, "But no seriously, what's up? You know that it's okay not to be okay."

"It's just that…" He ponders, a sad smile on his face as he thinks about his current life situation, "My life is fine as it is right now. It's all great: I'm going to a good university, studying the course I want and I'm looking forward to being a teacher." An eyebrow slowly raised on your side, prompting him to continue, "Why is this happening now? Why is this happening when everything is going fine?" Kevin's facade finally breaks, his eyes pooling with tears with the many unanswered questions, "Why didn't this opportunity come earlier? Maybe when I wasn't in university? I can't even get a refund now…"

"Hey…" Kevin rarely cries in public. For one, you've only seen him cry twice and both times were because he dived in too deep with his plans, making him depressed and lost. You realised once again, with the tears that fell on his jeans that Kevin is not the happy-go-lucky guy who he displays himself to be most of the time. He's human above everything else and even though he always tries to see the best in every situation, it's moments like these that you see your best friend in a different light than the rest of the world, "Money is not all to life, you know? What's the point of stacking up money when you can't even do what you want?"

"But then why would people be so money-crazed then? People work for money…"

"To use it on what they love and need. Some people don't even feel like work is for money." Even though Kevin just stares down at the floor, swinging his legs in the air, you know that he's taking in everything you're saying, "But that's beside the point right now, okay? If making the stage your usual routine will lead you to happiness, then I want you to take it." 

"But…why?" The clause can never be fully answered and Kevin knew that despite his multiple endeavours to rake for answers, "Why me? When everything is going well?"

"Because God has different plans for you." Inhaling the colder air, you told yourself to remember this moment between you and him, "I'm not saying you're pretending to be someone you're not. But the moment that you stop pretending, the moment you accept that something out there is better for you, I think will be the moment when you finally accept yourself."

"Are you positive that it'll come?" His voice decreased, along with the final bits of his self-confidence, "The journey of self-acceptance, I mean."

You both have been talking in hushed whispers, as gentle as the whistling wind. But you decide to finally add confidence into the conversation.

"Hey Kevin." The said boy looks up to you, "Humble yourselves, therefore, under God's mighty hand…"

"...that he may lift you in due time." He finishes the biblical passage that he has been fascinated with for the longest time. 

Satisfied, you nod, proud of him, "I can't answer your 'whys', Kevin. To be honest, I don’t think anyone can." You finally voice your opinion, knowing now that your time with him is limited, "But just know that even though you would have strived here in university, one of God's greatest gifts for you is your musicality."

Your words relieve Kevin of his headache, heartache, and the shirt that he has been clamping since the start of the day. You chuckle when Kevin asks for a hug, opening your arms wide to offer him the best comfort that he will forever cherish and be thankful for. Soothingly, you sway your body side to side, humming the melody to the latest (and last) song that you performed together. Kevin joins in with his harmony which has always left people in awe and starstruck.

"Maybe you're just meant to be up there and twerk in front of the camera and not just to our friends." You comment when the song comes to an end.

"Wow, alright." His sniffles didn't cease even when he dragged the final 'w' and 't'.

"You'll be okay, Kevin." The light but secure taps on his back prove your reassuring words, "I know you will." 

"Surely…right?" It's the final question that he would ever ask you about this subject, "As we know, not everything we see on the screen is real. I just feel like I'll lose myself because the idol world wants us to be a certain way."

"No, I don't think you will." You pull Kevin away, pouting at his flushed cheeks and tired face, "I know it's stressful to keep up with society but I hope you know that there will be people that will love and support you. And if you make a mistake? If you lose yourself in shape, way, or form? Then you fight. You fight for your rights and fight for them righteously. You’ll fight because like you always say: learn from relationships. You learn the do's and not do's and still keep the relationship genuine."

“You have that much faith in me?”

“I do.” You tilt your chin high in the air, confidence finally reaching him in the form of a bright smile, "And for those who don’t,” You shake your head, flipping your hair back sassily, “those bitches can walk out the door."

You remember the memory somewhat fondly. To be honest, you found it a bit funny because you lost your best friend over music. You would learn after his departure that you would never find a friend like him ever again. Ironically, it was music that brought you two together—yet it was the same thing that drifted you both apart. 

It took a while for you to bounce back. You grew bitter about doing music especially when Kevin no longer answered any of your messages anymore out of nowhere. When you bumped into Stella while grocery shopping, you found out that it was because of his phone ban as a trainee. You remember going home that day, feeling guilty that you blamed him, not considering his external situation; especially when you knew that Kevin would never cut someone off without an explanation. Yes, it’s been lonely; you did lose your best friend after all. At first, you regretted letting him go, you resented him for not texting you back and you avoided the stage because it reminded you of him.

But God had a different plan for you too. Because when you accidentally clicked on one of the recommended videos on your page, the satisfied smile, the happy tears and the relieved exhale showed your real feelings that you were merely in a phase of confusion. All the hate, all the resentment, all faded as soon as you heard the slightly changed vocal timbre that you unfortunately are no longer used to. You found peace with the person who dances happily underneath the flashing, colourful lights with ten other boys.

“Teacher?” The boy’s innocent head tilt pulls you back to the present time and he seems pleased with the way you nod to his question, “I like K-Pop too! I found this group! They’re called THE BOYZ!”

You were amazed at the stars that the topic put to your student’s eyes and you nodded intently to his excited story. It’s not long after when the mother pushes her child in, sitting him down so that you can get on with your priorities. You straighten your knees, standing back up, pushing your hips out side to side to stretch from the unexpectedly long conversation.

“Damn, Kev…” Your shoulders and chest rise at the deep breath and your hands find their place on your hips,  “And after all these years…you’re still able to make me smile?”

The starting bell rang just in time for your last student to arrive just before you closed the glass door to block out the outside background noise. With the final student ready and set up, you stand in front of the electronic board that displays the first class of the day. Your mind begins to wonder again, particularly about the boy that you once shared a dream with. Routinely, you rhythmically clap to grab everyone’s attention, and surely enough, the conversations between the students die down, and you give back the fond look that your students gave you. 

“Shall we start music class?”

The enthusiastic response answers your wondering thoughts and the question you asked yourself outside the classroom.

“Guess that’s just you, Kevin. That’s just who you are, Kev.”

navi/masterlist!! 🤍 series introduction 🤍 series masterlist tags (send a dm/ask if you would like to be here!): @deoboyznet 📢❤️ @k-labels 💙🤍 @k-films 🤎🎞️ @kflixnet 📺🍿

omg sana what 😭💕 literally just finished a new, tiring and hard role at work to see this 🫂 heart melted and completely healed ❤️‍🩹

love you so much honey bee ☘️🐝💚

Here I present you all my mutuals/moots whom I adore a lot no matter what 🥺

Lacey 💗 @haet-sal : Masterlist

How do I start? She was truly the first mutual I made here and also the one who I got really close with. I adore her a lot no matter what and she is just the sweetest. She is also like one of the strongest people I have known and seen. She is always just so genuine with me. My bubba 💗. I miss you all the damn time 😽.

Nara 🐒 @o-onikix : Masterlist

She is sweet yes but a kid sometimes 🧍‍♀️. But most of the time she is like a mother istg. She can go feral anytime (it’s me most of the time but let’s not talk about that) still I adore and love her a lot. But give her stories a look y’all! They won’t disappoint you at all!

Ally 🌥️ @winterchimez : Masterlist

What can I say about her? Okay to start of she is like one of the sweetest person. I love how she is always so easy to approach no matter what. Even tho I trouble her a little (lot) by sending Sangyeon stuff (it is purely out of love) I still adore and admire her a lot.

Dora 🌻 @littleroaes : Masterlist

What can I say? She is just so adorable 😭. Tbh I am glad I approached you in your DMs that day 🤧 if not I would not have known just how great you’re. I mean I have always looked up to your stories and now I look up to her as a person too because of how genuine, kind and sweet she is.

Clo 🌸 @cloverdaisies : Masterlist

I have known clo as a writer since forever. I am still in love with her chanhee fic (1984, available on her Wattpad account) and when I got to know she is moots with ally I totally started fangirling over clo (I still do) and I will never stop talking about how sweet and funny she is.

Moni 🦋 @zzoguri : Masterlist

Okay first off all, she is like the sweetest person ever?? She tops of EVERYONE when it comes to that. Second of all her stories are to die for because of how great they’re. I am still not over her Changmin fic 👯‍♂️. Giving her compliments is not enough 🤧.

Marty 🐸 @stealanity : Masterlist

My mom, my world, my everything 💗. She is truly just so caring and precious and if that’s not everything her stories make me fall in love with her more. (Only I can call her Marty btw) and even tho she calls me a menace (I am not) I still love her a lot because I can never not love her. She just..take my heart 🥹🤏.

Beam 🐣 @sungbeam : Masterlist

Okay I will reveal something very embarrassing, I was truly VERY intimidated by beam first. Idk why but when I interacted with her more I just saw how sweet and funny she is 🫠. And when you feel like you know her truly she will just do something more unhinged 🧍‍♀️💃.

Fawn 🌺 @juyeonszn : Masterlist

If you follow her blog you must have always seen me dying over her stories (I am still seated for What is love btw) because to be honest they are just so great. Words cannot describe that. She is truly also very sweet 🤧.

Dal 🥀 @hongyangi : Masterlist

I will fangirl about her stories first, okay (deep breaths) HOW DO I START OFF?? THEY ALL ARE JUST MWAH. I will always look forward to her stories no matter what because of how great they are. If you see me kicking my feet and screaming just think that it’s because of Dal hehe and then, she is also such a great friend. She is just so sweet, crazy, kind you name it.

Cheegu 😽 @cheegu3 : Masterlist

I recently discovered her because of her Sunwoo fic and I am telling you, I fell in love with her writing so much not to say she is also so sweet, kind and understanding. Whenever she posts something I take a deep breath in because I know that I would be devouring whatever it was and she is also a yandere writer like me so 💃.

Bar 🦄 @sohnric : Masterlist

Lemme tell you, I love you a lot and I am not lying about it at all. But I will be honest, her works are to like DIE for. Especially since I have been getting in my Eric era (let’s not tell Chanhee) I have been reading everything about him alot lately. And as a person to bar is really sweet and her vibes are just very sweet hehe.

Shay 🌾 @enhazen : Masterlist

I have known shay for a very long time. We were in the same group chat and I will tell you, I have seen her growth in writing and it’s just been so great to be moots with someone like her. Shay is also like THE sweetest person out there.

Maya 🪷 @kimsohn : Masterlist

Maya is like the definition of “A friend in need is a friend indeed” 🤓. I actually read her Sunwoo Drabble recently and it was just so cute 🫠😭. I was melting lol. And she is also very sweet from what I know. I would love to get close with her 💞.

Daisy 🌼 @daisyvisions : Masterlist

I like knew Daisy even before she joined the network and she is like so sweet hehe. Her works are to die for (obviously) because the way her works would always make me want a partner 🥹🫠.

Mona ✨ @invuwrld : Masterlist

Mona is like..so sweet 🤧. She is someone whom I would adore and admire a lot even from afar. And me and Mona are always there to bully (love) ally hehe. Even her works are adorable 🫠😭.

Ipah 🍓 @i520cm : Masterlist

Ipah is like strawberries to me. I love strawberries a lot. The moment she comes in the discord expect chaos there lol. She is like the mood maker in our group, truly. Tbh she is just very adorable and cute (P.S I truly love her cats..) even her stories are amazing, just like her.

Moon 🌑 @beautifulchris : Masterlist

Moon’s story are to die for. I remember coming across her Beomgyu blurb once and I just fell in love with her writing 🫠. Even tho we’re not that close yet I would love to get to know her more!

Liz 🍙 @minho-hoho : Masterlist

I remember Liz being the first moot I made here. Even tho her account is closed now you guys can always take a look at her blog! She was truly one of the best writers out there and she was also very sweet 💞.

Izzy ☀️ @from-izzy : Masterlist

My pookie 😚, the sweetest actually hehe. The way I can always like totally rely on her just makes me melt 🤧. Not only that even her stories are so sweet. The way she manages to capture the attention and emotions of the readers 💗. Even tho atm I have only read her Sunwoo timestamp I just melted on the spot because of how comforting it was. Plz do show some support to my pookie <3

you do know that ff is supposed to be around love right cause whatever it is that your doing with your healing project thingy def isnt that

read your intro and it says its personal things but like ok then keep it to yourself i guess

just go back to the the love topic stories and tbh its not getting a lot of notes and attention anyways so why bother lol

finally found the strength to reply to this! 🫂

hi anon 👋 first of all, i wasn't sure what kind of tone i should respond this with. but, i would like to thank you for sending this in. you gave me the push to finally post my 'especially to you...' series that has been on my masterlist for so long.

next, you're not wrong. compared to my other stories, this series is not getting as many notes. i am not scared to admit that it did discourage me a little bit but it all changed when i re-read my stories (yes, i'm one of those authors who re-reads their works many times, over and over again).

yes, ofc i could keep all the burden and weight of my personal life to myself. we have a choice to do that or share it with the people around us. for me, i chose the latter. why?

because i believe that feeling like you're alone, especially when you're too scared to speak up, is one of the darkest, loneliest, hardest and most excruciating moments that a person can ever have. i hope that my stories could accompany those who may feel alone and bring some sort of comfort.

i choose to be open. i choose to speak up first after the other person is ready to listen to me (for my stories, this comes in the form of warnings). i choose to tell the experiences that i've gone through. after that, it's up to the other person if they want to spread it around, keep it to themselves and/or maybe even judge me.

it was my choice to open up. the ball is in your court after and the information that i've told them will be up to them and their conscience.

i'm open with talking about life experiences and most especially, mental health. as a person who has multiple diagnosis and waiting to be assessed for more as well as waiting for re-asssessments, to a certain extent, through my stories, i want to tell it out to the world.

comfort, sadness, pain, discovery—those are the words that i would describe my journey so far.

so yes, while it isn't getting as much attention, the way i smile, cry and feel my chest lighten after reading my published stories, makes me keep going.

also, in terms of your definition for fanfiction, i guess our definition of the word differs greatly and i can respect that. but for me, my stories will not only be about romance.

because that's not the kind of author that i want to be. also, i will not be influenced by others to be the author that they want me to be.

i write for others to read but most of all, i write for myself.

i refuse to publish stories that i'm unsatisfied with even if people tell me that they love it. i refuse to publish stories that i will not re-read. i refuse to have no personal connection to the stories i publish.

so that's my answer! sorry that it's long 😅 and sorry that i kept you waiting as well 😭 i hope this answers your thoughts and asks!