Tbz Kevin - Tumblr Posts

unpopular opinion from a bg stan #1

the boyz got one of the best discographies of the 4th gen but their company is trash, plus they're all visuals and main dancers (their choreos are crazy fr, you can't tell me maverick's choreo doesn't go hard af and if you do go watch road to kingdom 🥱) AND they can pull off a dark concept like no other

conclusion: stan tbz

thrill-ing!

Don’t we all love having crazy unplanned moments with our best friend who we are secretly in love with?

pairing: best friend!kevin tbz x reader

genre: fluff, comedy, a little suggestive

word count: 2.3k

warnings: cursing, brief mention of alcohol, mentions of food, underaged drinking >:(

leona was listening to this while writing: before the full moon rises by got7 (babies <3)

this was supposed to be a drabble though i underestimated my writing..and i know i said my next writing was gonna be for sunwoo but change of plans hehe story begins under the image!

Scribbling a few words down on your textbook, you rubbed your drowsy eyes. The sound of the pencil effortlessly dragging across the paper provided a little, cozy ambience in contrast to the brightly-lighted room despite it already being 11 in the evening. Your eyes darted back and forth between your laptop and your book as your cat played around with some papers in the background. You were so ready to fall asleep right there on your desk but was interrupted by the chiming of your phone, the screen turning on.

Letting out a little grunt, you stretched your hands up and relished in the short moment of pure bliss. The feeling of stretching out your sore limbs after being in such a stiff position never felt so good, but you were yet again interrupted by multiple chimes emitting from your phone. You sighed, picking up your phone that was placed inside your drawer. It wasn’t a surprise for you to see it was from your best friend, Kevin.

‘open ur window, bitch’ it read. Lifting your head slightly to peer out your window, there he was, standing in the cold night with his hands in the pockets of his sweats. As your gaze met his, he lazily raised an arm to wave hi to you. “Hey, girl!”

“Kev? What are you doing here?” You were shocked by his unexpected arrival and even though he did do this multiple times before, it wasn’t during the late hours of the day. “C’mon, Y/n, let’s go get ice cream!!!” He whisper-shouted since he didn’t want to wake your parents up. “What? No! I can’t, my parents would kill me if I went out at night, besides, I have to really catch up on my revision,” You strung out multiple excuses to him.

“Oh, please, it’s not as if you would completely mess up your studies if you missed one day of revision and they don’t have to know you snuck out..” He shot you a devilish smirk along with a wink as he pulled over a ladder you didn’t even know you had owned.

˚◞♡ ⃗*ೃ༄

And that was how the two of you were currently in front of the family mart a few blocks down the road, each holding an ice-cream in hand. You guys sat on the brick steps in a comfortable silence, accompanied by the soft chirping of crickets in the background along with the occasional cars passing by.

The air felt crisp and fresh in a way or maybe it was just because you spent the whole day cooped up in your room, chasing deadlines. Moments with Kevin were never dull even if you guys were in a situation like right now.

Pushing in the last bit of the chocolate-filled cone into your mouth, you dusted off your hands so that they were free of crumbs. You shifted your position beside Kevin and settled your head on his lap, looking up at him.

Kevin had been you best friend for as long as you could remember but as the orange street lights shined on him, he looked so utterly good looking. Everything fell into place in that moment, he looked ethereal even. His jawline was clearly visible from your point of view and you almost got too caught up in the moment.

He was barely fazed when you splayed yourself out on the ground, head in his lap, he continued eating his ice cream and noticed you were staring at him for far too long. “What? Are you in love with me or something?” He smirked, poking a finger gently to your cheek.

You stifled a small cough creeping out your throat, “S-shut up,” and you tried your hardest to speak in a normal tone without giving away your initial thoughts, “So, are we just getting ice cream?” He glanced down at you briefly before looking back up, munching on the cone. “I don’t really wanna go home right now.”

As soon as he said that, you realized what he was talking about. He had been venting to you more frequently nowadays ever since his mother remarried this man who turned out to be a raging alcoholic. He tends to stay longer at your house just to avoid the said man. You felt nothing but sympathy and anger for him so you always welcomed him with open arms.

Breaking the silence that had fell between the two of you again, you grasped his unoccupied hand, “Wanna go to the rich ass neighbourhood that we’ve been wanting to go to and crash someone’s party?” It was seldom that you were the one who suggested such ideas out of the blue but when you did, it would be the most random shit ever. “Y/n.. I love you and your ideas but we literally look homeless,” Kevin looked like he had most likely mentally face-palmed as he gestured to the clothes you guys were wearing, “Plus, how do you know someone has a party going on right now?”

“It’s a friday night, someone is bound to be having a party on, and who cares if we’re wearing clothes that could pass as pajamas? Let’s gooo, it would be fun!”

“No.”

˚◞♡ ⃗*ೃ༄

Who was Kevin kidding? He could never say no to you! He was just following you as you locked arms with him, dragging him along down the road towards the insanely expensive neighbourhood. At that point of time, Kevin spared a few glances at you as you enthusiastically told him about what antics your little brother had been up to as a toddler.

Kevin wasn’t dumb, he knew what he was feeling as he swore he saw your eyes twinkling as if there were crystals in your eyes. He loved your smile whenever you talked about something you were really interested in. He had to resist himself from engulfing you into a hug.

You were getting immersed in your never ending comical moments with your 5 year old brother when you heard several whooping coming from the rows and rows of rich peoples’ houses. “Jackpot!” You giggled, tugging Kevin by his wrist as you made your way to the first house. The boy beside you only snickered at your childlike actions.

˚◞♡ ⃗*ೃ༄

You didn’t manage to get into the first few houses since these people decided to get bodyguards and an invitation list to be placed at their entrance so you and Kevin didn’t have much luck yet. But then again, those houses belonged to older generations and your ears perked up upon hearing the familiar tune of Gen-Z music, “Hoho, we got the house, Kev!!”

You immediately skipped your way to the house mentioned. The several levels of the house towered over you guys, intimidatingly. Whoever living here must be filthy rich. The exterior seemed like it came from a futuristic film.

Your hand found their place in Kevin’s out of habit and you guys strolled into the entrance, a breath of relief escaping your lips when you didn’t see bodyguards. This might be the dumbest idea you had ever made up but it was definitely the most thrilling one. Your adrenaline was pumping high and you were sure your heart was beating just as fast.

If the exterior was nice, the interior was even more impressive. The two of you took a moment just to marvel at the sight of the gigantic home. It was a little messy, of course, due to the stream of teenagers continuously moving around but because of that, no one took notice of your arrival. Flashing strobe lights covered the ceiling corners of the house and loud music constantly reached your ears. These kids were, no doubt, having the time of their lives.

“Hey guys! Come grab a drink in the kitchen, I’m Hyunjae’s sister!” All of a sudden, a woman’s voice broke you guys out of your reverie, talking about a guy named Hyunjae which you could only assume was the host of the party. You and Kevin didn’t even have time to object or even reply since she had dragged you guys by the elbow, smiling and shouting gleefully over the music.

The two of you grabbed whatever she poured you guys, just making sure not to drink too much of it, who knows it might be “2 shots” of vodka..

Sipping on the drink and grabbing a few snacks from the snack table after, the two of you settled by the stairs. “I can’t believe no one has noticed that we are complete strangers,” Kevin discreetly whispered into your ear, sending tingles down your spine. It didn’t mean to seem sensual but the way his voice trailed on made you think of things you shouldn’t be thinking of. “So glad they haven’t though, more free food,” You chuckled, scrunching your nose, earning a laugh from him.

“Hey! You! The couple, by the stairs, holding hands!“ This time, a guy who looked around the same age as you and Kevin had captured your attention but what he said made you look down to your hands. The sight surprised you, eliciting a gasp from you since your grip had never left Kevin’s and it seemed like he wasn’t aware too since he didn’t make an effort to shrug you off. Does that mean that guy was talking about you guys? You felt a blush creeping up your cheeks at the mention of him calling you two a couple but you shook off the thoughts. Stop thinking about the impossible, Y/n.

“Ahh, hurry up, we need two more players to start, we’re waiting on you!” He beckoned you guys over with a more rushed tone and that was when you realised there was a group of mixed genders sitting in a small circle. You looked up at Kevin, seeking his approval. I mean, would it be safe? You guys know no one here, what if you guys got in trouble? However, he only shot you a reassuring smile, bringing you along towards the teenagers.

Sitting next to each other, cross-legged, there was a lone bottle in the middle of it all. That’s when it dawned on you, oh shit, what ig you had to kiss a stranger? Your panicked thoughts quickly filled your brain and you didn’t pay attention to the multiple people crossing in front of you to smooch each other’s lips off.

Kevin’s hand that was clasped with yours gave you a tight squeeze, reminding you that he was there and that you guys could leave anytime. You could only wait in anticipation, hoping they would get bored soon and it would never land on you but when was luck ever on your side?

The bottle spun right in your direction, earning the mediocre, repeated cheering every time it landed on someone. The bottle was spun yet again to decide your fate but when it landed on Kevin, you felt all the weight lift off your shoulders. However, your relief could only last for so long since they started chanting for you guys to kiss.

Shifting your gaze to Kevin, he was already looking at you, you couldn’t miss the gaze in his eyes. Your eyes casted down to his lips as he slightly bit on it, causing you to unconsciously nibble on yours too. All of a sudden, the loud voices were blocked out and you could only focus on him, your best friend, whom you fell in love with. You didn’t realise you were already leaning in, charmed by how much sexual tension there was in the air.

His luscious lips were so close to yours, you could finally get a taste of him. “Wait, who are you guys? I never invited you?” At the speed the two of you tuned your head, you could’ve gotten whiplash but the two of you couldn’t say anything further since multiple burly men had stood up upon hearing that you two were complete strangers. “You guys just leeched off our alcohol and food, huh?” You could tell he was mad and that was not good.

He started to approach you guys but a hand on yours dragged you along with them as they rushed out the front door, down the steep hill. Almost tripping multiple times as you guys tried your best to outrun those men, you realised it was Kevin. No matter how tense the situation was, you broke out into a fit of laughter as you took note of how hilarious this situation was. Kevin’s laughter eventually joined yours as the two of you kept crashing into each other, stumbling on the coarse road, hand in hand. It was crazy how it felt like it was straight out of a movie. Everything felt so right with Kevin. You were so happy with him. You knew he was the one.

Too bad, the two of you are dense teenagers who don’t have the guts to confess when you are obviously in love with one another.

(fill in this google form to be part of my permanent taglist!)

btw if you got that vine reference, i love you

smile if you wanna break up! | m.kevin

full series masterlist: what’s trending?

pairing: tbz kevin x reader

genre: fluff, humor

warnings: nil!

wc: 0.8k

network(s): @kflixnet

listened to: maverick by tbz

not proofread

// my 200 days with tbz special

# now playing kevin’s ver ! 𑁋 smile if you wanna break up

even though mans on tiktok 24/7, he didn’t know about this trend

always want to make tiktoks with you so he had no problem agreeing to do one when you asked him to

actually cares a lot about the relationship

“no, you gotta like, make a x-mark with your hands first before you do a thumbs up!” kevin was currently teaching you how to dance to the song that has been trending on you guys’ for you page for the longest time now. you had been wanting to learn it but the words flew in one ear and out the other.

you weren’t sure how kevin was so patient while teaching you but you were glad to have such a boyfriend like him by your side. you groaned in exhaustion, sprawling out on the floor, rejecting any more instances of trying to learn the dance that was gonna die out in about a months’ time. “kev, why is it so hard to learn a tiktok dance?”

“you’re doing great, baby,” he giggled softly, plopping down on the floor beside you to join you while you suffered an existential crisis. “love you, kevin but if i can barely do this, you really wanted me to film a ‘maverick’ dance video with you?” you turned to your side to face him, taking every inch of his features. he did the same, elbow propped up with his hand on his face as the other hand tucked away your messy hair. “i love you too, i also! believe in you, i’m sure you’ll kill it after practicing.”

you beamed at him, genuinely wondering how lucky you were to have him. shaking your head, you sat up and pulled out your phone from your back pocket, “speaking of tiktok, i’ve been wanting to do a video with you so wanna film it, my love?” you asked, glancing down at him, an affectionate smile painted across your face.

he nodded enthusiastically towards your request since he loved making tiktoks with you, “yea, of course, baby, i’ll just go wash my face first.” once he got up, you tried to find the sound that you had saved the previous day and fortunately, you found it quickly before he came back so you just had to wait for him.

“okay, i’m back!” he shouted, sitting beside you again but on the couch instead. “okay, just listen to my cue later,” you directed, facing the camera so that the two of you were in frame but the attention was mostly on kevin. as the video started recording, you said, “hey kevin, smile if you want to break up,”

the bright smile on his lips turned into a thin line. his pursed lips showed that he wanted to laugh but he didn’t because he would never want to break up with you. the sudden statement caught him off-guard and the way you kept shoving the camera nearer to his face made him shoot you an amused smirk. “hey! you smiled!” you exclaimed, feigning surprise. “try not to laugh when a camera is being shoved into your face!” he retaliated, raising his arms to tickle your sides, making you drop your phone.

“how dare you put me in such a spot!” he yelled as he continued rolling around with you on the floor. “okay! stop!” you muttered out, in between your laughter.

breathless, you laid on the floor as he propped himself above you with his arms trapping you in. the two of you looked at each other with a loving smile as he started to speak, “you know i would never, i love you too much, my y/n.”

you guys are completely whipped for each other and IT SHOWS

he knows that you only did it for a tiktok but he talks to you afterwards just to know how you were actually feeling

bc he cares about you a lot and if you were unhappy in the relationship, he wouldn't want you to be in a lie any longer

of course, you were still head over heels for him so you two had no problems whatsoever!!

such lovebirds

permanent taglist: @stealanity @yengyangyo @jaerisdiction @zwiehe @heojangmi @paralumanniluna @luvrbin @odxrilove @ryuflix @coffee-jeon @changmin-wrlds @idiot-karma <3

series taglist: @heyyaishaa

(bolded cannot be tagged ): )

(fill the google form in series masterlist to be added to series taglist)

ah, i love kevin sm

love, leona!

y’all are so cool 😎😎

• daily texts with bf!kevin pt. 1

• bffs 2 lovers with kevin🎁❗️😎

• when kevin gets soft 🎁❗️😎

Their s/o falling up the stairs

note: from now on, for groups more than 9, i think i’m gonna write short recs

Sangyeon- Falls on purpose so you wouldn’t be too embarrassed.

Jacob- Worries frantically.

Younghoon- Asks if you’re okay.

Hyunjae- He knew something bad would happen because you’ve always been clumsy, so he breaks your fall.

Juyeon- “Only my baby” he chuckles, then shakes his head as he lifts you.

Kevin- Simply laughs.

New- Rolls eyes, but still helps you get up.

Q- Shock written all over his face.

Juhaknyeon- Tries to catch you falling, but he ends up falling too.

Sunwoo- “How do you fall going up the stairs?”

Eric- Tries his best not to laugh, but fails.

I saw Kevin with Red hair... my eyes have been blessed

𝙏𝙝𝙚 𝘽𝙤𝙮𝙯 𝙢𝙖𝙨𝙩𝙚𝙧𝙡𝙞𝙨𝙩

✧･ﾟ: *✧･ﾟ:**:･ﾟ✧*:･ﾟˏˋ°•*⁀➷*:･ﾟ✧*:･ﾟ✧･

𝙎𝙖𝙣𝙜𝙮𝙚𝙤𝙣:

↳ None yet!

𝙅𝙖𝙘𝙤𝙗:

↳ None yet!

𝙔𝙤𝙪𝙣𝙜𝙝𝙤𝙤𝙣:

↳ None yet!

𝙃𝙮𝙪𝙣𝙟𝙖𝙚:

↳ None yet!

𝙅𝙪𝙮𝙚𝙤𝙣:

↳ None yet!

𝙆𝙚𝙫𝙞𝙣:

↳ None yet!

𝙉𝙚𝙬:

↳ None yet!

𝙌:

↳ None yet!

𝙃𝙖𝙠𝙣𝙮𝙚𝙤𝙣:

↳ None yet!

𝙎𝙪𝙣𝙬𝙤𝙤:

↳ None yet!

𝙀𝙧𝙞𝙘:

↳ None yet!

✧･ﾟ: *✧･ﾟ:**:･ﾟ✧*:･ﾟˏˋ°•*⁀➷*:･ﾟ✧*:･ﾟ✧･

— alternatively titled. Noid.

— summary.

“You just wanted some privacy, but he wouldn’t give you that.”

— rating. PG-13; drug & alcohol use/abuse; mafia au;

— cast. hyunjae x reader + tbz

— screenplay.

trailer / house

dumbass culture

triggered

privacy

who this?

electric feel

...

— official soundtrack.

noid - woodz

love me harder - woodz

privacy - verivery

echo - katie

in my room - frank ocean

love again - baekhyun

ghost - baekhyun

get it - pristin v

undercover - ace

bad alive - wayv

cuz I love you - lizzo

garbage truck - sexbob-omb

meet you there - 5sos

lovefool - the cardigans

one (lucid dream) - golden child

deep end - fousheé

— hidden tracks.

click/han river view - mino

wa - mino

march2020 ©️egirlbyeol

on hold! last updated: july 16th 2020

pack The Boyz [CHASE] the album

like if you save!

don't reposts elsewhere!

New(chanhee) halloween icons!

Like and reblog if u save!

Don't repost elsewhere!

Younghoon boyfriend material icons!

Like and reblog if u save!

Don't repost elsewhere!

Younghoon boyfreind material icons!

Like and reblog if u save!

Don't repost elsewhere!

New(chanhee) packs!

Like and reblog if u save!

Don't repost elsewhere!

Sunwoo bios

⠀⠀⠀᪤ 𝘁𝗶.𝗻𝘆 🏰 선우 ٫٫

⠀⠀⠀🔭 우 𝐥𝐨𝐯𝐞𝐥𝐲 🚎 ˢᵘⁿ ⸼

⠀⠀ ⛓️ 𝗱𝗲.𝘃𝗶𝗹 ⩩ 선우 🧷

⠀⠀⠀ ៹ 𝗌𝗎𝗇𝗐𝗈𝗈 🕊️ ᵃⁿᵍᵉˡ 金

⠀⠀⠀⿻۬  𝗆𝗒 선 𝗳𝗹𝗼𝘄𝗲𝗿 🛒

⠀⠀⠀선 🦢 𝗅𝗈𝗏𝖾.𝖻𝗈𝗍 ✈︎ 우

Like and reblog if u save!

Don't repost elsewhere!

TBZ and LOONA locs!

❥︎ とても美しい 𝗧𝗛𝗘 𝗕𝗢𝗬𝗭 あなたは🕊️私の 青い空です 𝗟𝗢𝗢𝗡𝗔 あなたは ✉️ それが長い 𝗆𝗒 𝘈𝘕𝘎𝘌𝘓𝘚 日だった🍙ことを知 っています

✰ 了解しました 𝗧𝗕𝗭 すみませ🦋ん甘い塩辛い小さな話 𝗟OOΠΔ 今月の *ᴥ︎︎︎* 少女あなただけが愛している 𝗅𝗈𝗏𝖾.𝖻𝗈𝗍 それは💤あなたです

⚠︎ 警告サイン ﹙𝗌𝗈 𝖶𝖧𝖠𝖳¿﹚調子良くない ⛩️ もう待ち ﹙𝗧𝗕𝗭 𝖺𝗇𝖽 𝗟𝗢𝗢𝗡𝗔 ᶻᵒⁿᵉ﹚私はスティー☎️ ラーです 火がついている ☠︎︎引き金

☔︎ ポンピン 𝖳𝖧𝖤 𝖻𝖮𝖸𝖹 . . . グしま☕︎ょう¡ 私の囲気 🧸を殺さな𝗆𝗒 𝗌𝗎𝗇𝖿𝗅𝗈𝗐𝖾𝗋𝗌でくださʕ•ᴥ•ʔそれは 🍩 来を見けて 𝖫𝖮𝖮𝖭𝖺 です¿¡

Like and reblog if u save!

Don't repost elsewhere!

younghoon boyfriend material packs!

like and reblog if u save!

don't repost elsewhere!

juyeon boyfreind material lockscreen!

like and reblog if u save!

don't repost elsewhere!

that's him, that's just who he is | tbz kevin moon

» ​PAIRING: tbz kevin moon x gn! reader (proofread but lmk if i missed anything!)​ » TROPE/AU​: childhood friends 2 strangers, highschool and slight uni au!, non-idol au!, idol au! (just kevin towards the end) » GENRE​: once again...angst, fluff and comfort from the flashbacks, kevin being an extremely supportive friend, you're also an extremely supportive friend!, platonic 'i love you's being said, you both met at church, choir and ensemble singing!, you both are shy introverts that are only chaotic with each other » WORD COUNT: 4179 (2k word limit who?) » ESTIMATED READING TIME: ~15 mins » WARNINGS (lmk if i missed anything!): mentions of Christianity (not sure if it's a 'warning' but i felt like it should be mentioned!), swearing (b-word), mentions stress relating to: academic (high school), music and performing » PLAYLIST: you never know - HSMTMTS, you better know - red velvet, reflection - christina aguilera, steal the show - lauv, try everything - shakira navi/masterlist!! 🤍 series introduction 🤍 series masterlist

my second story for my project! this may be my favourite story ever ❤️‍🩹

ahhhh this got so personal so quickly 🥹 performing has always been for leisure for me, and for the same reasons in this story, i got so burnt out last year. writing this really made me realise how much i miss the stage. going from about 7 performances a year to only about 1 is to put it simply, heartbreaking.

but i learnt that there are opportunities. i learnt that i'm satisfied with just getting my voice out to the world whether it be through choir, the internet or on the streets. i think things will work out; time does help sometimes 🫶

for those who may not know, kevin's representative number is 16 🌙 and the meaning of this number is explained in this video! i did some research and found that it's from 1 Peter 5:6.

to my readers who are followers of God: I pray that you will always be filled with hope and joy as you advance in your daily endeavours. Believe that God has the best plans for you and that He will never leave you behind, especially when you are at your lowest. Confide in Him and love Him as much as He loves you.

“Can I sing this part with Kevin?”

The question is new to everyone who heard it. Did you just ask to do a supposed solo with someone else? No, you were not a greedy performer though you understood why most people would think that. The choir conductor looks to the other side of the ensemble where the group of altos stood. Including the older woman, all the children including the said boy stood there surprised at the request you asked for.

You’ve been singing in the church youth choir since you were ten and you were incredibly gifted. For example, you landed most of the solos and smaller ensemble parts whenever there was a chance. At first, you didn’t want to be in this church because you were shy (incredibly shy) and you never made a lot of friends in school and most definitely, outside of school. Needless to say, your parents were pretty worried but at the very least, they found that when you were asked to go to church events, you were able to talk with people, smile, and laugh but then you would go back into your shell.

Your parents met at this church through singing and performing together as part of the choir and the band. The children were around your age but you found that your interests mainly conflicted with them and it was hard to keep up with their conversations.

So, when a certain Moon family moved into your area and started attending their local church, Kevin, who happens to be a boy who is incredibly gifted in music, joined the choir with that unique, radiant, excited smile on his face. With a simple and friendly “Hello everyone. My name is Kevin, I’m fifteen and am very excited to be here!” Contrasting to his introduction, you found that Kevin was just as introverted as you were and with your courage to finally approach someone, you made your first friend. School life became better as well when you found out that Kevin attended the same school as you.

Going back to the first dialogue though, the duet did happen and the church community knew that you both were the perfect musical partners for each other. Your softer soprano voice complimented Kevin’s deeper alto voice easily. You both found yourself auditioning, performing, and showcasing your team work together in a bunch of school, church, and even the larger community-based musical events. 

Now, after eight years of joining the choir, three after meeting Kevin, you were both in a state of uncertainty, distress, and frustration with the piles of sheet music that scattered everywhere to the point where it was almost covering the surface of your room’s floor. Your hair strands were everywhere and you were sick with the school uniform that you’ve had on since seven in the morning. You both have been secluding yourselves in your room, going back and forth with the arrangement of your final high school piece that you are going to perform with Kevin within less than a week.

The current situation in one word: messy. 

It’s all a mess. About a week ago out of nowhere, your voice decided to have its own mind and leave for about a week. Kevin had a sudden test that his teacher thought would be fun to assign at the last minute. You also had this assignment that you were going to do but you found a mistake in the written arrangement, a note that was about a tone and a half out of your range, and since Kevin was better at rhythm, arrangement, and using the composing software, you could only sit next to his left in the corner of your room as he groaned at how the app was not doing what you both wanted to do.

So yes…it’s a mess, and it’s been around three hours.

“This is impossible.” A few more of your tears manage to trickle down your already red, puffy cheeks, “Okay you know what, I’ll just sing it. It’s fine. It’s not even two tones above what I usually sing in AND I’ve done it befo—”

“Lost your voice and felt lightheaded after.” Kevin cuts off your panicked rambles. No doubt, he’s feeling all the things that you are feeling right now but the only reason why he’s still able to muster up a smile and just ‘inhale, exhale’ through it all is because at the very least, one of you should be able to stay grounded, “We’re not going to put out a performance that we’re not proud of, okay? Especially when this is our last high school performance together.”

“We also said that we wouldn’t do any performances that were out of our capabilities.” At these words, you were both reminded of the promise you made to each other in front of your melted ice creams. It was an ‘oath’ that was made when you both realised you would be standing on the same stage, at the same time more often:

We will finish every performance to the best of our capabilities. We will focus more on quality rather than quantity.

At the new educational path that you were about to embark on, automatically closing this one that you’ve been on for just about six years, you were both starting to get greedy, wanting more than anything now to be on stage. With you both turning eighteen, you both couldn’t sing with the youth choir anymore. Taking music as a subject in high school meant there was a certain prerequisite in terms of how many stages you would have to perform; you and Kevin always exceeded this regardless with solos, duets, or larger ensembles. With graduation, however, the granted opportunity to perform would be taken away from you both and you were getting restless.

You were both greedy, forgetting almost all the other priorities that you had set out, and raked the internet for any chances to perform on stage. For the last two months, both of you have been juggling between your heavy study load, auditioning, composing, arranging, practising, and bowing at the end of it all. To the untrained ear, they could have probably missed the way you were momentarily out of tune or the way that Kevin missed his entry due to his fatigue. The greed consumed you both and most of the stages that you performed were nowhere near satisfactory for any standards that you both set for yourself. After the first performance that you were bashing yourself over, you rationalised that you would need to do another one to make up for the ‘loss’ from the previous one. That you NEED to go to another stage to make up for the ‘loss’ from the previous one.

That cycle is deadly and it keeps going for a while.

“Kev…I’m tired.” It feels like after a whole three years of back-to-back, almost seemingly non-stop performances in addition to the sudden addition from the past two months, you have finally hit a wall that you never wanted to admit. Kevin didn’t need verbal words to know the reason behind the lack of enthusiasm and the way the lyrics sing are no longer as projected and emotionful as before; because it was the same way to him.

“I know…” Kevin sighs. He finally relieves the downward strain on his neck, pulling it back up to rest against the wall. Offering you both comfort, he wraps his arm around the back of your shoulder, his palm pulling your left forearm to get you closer to him, “I’m sorry, I can’t get this right.”

“No, don’t say that.” You finally give in, plopping your head on his left shoulder in defeat, “I’m sorry. You’re doing your best.”

You let most of the silence fill you both, the hints of the trackpad clicking and the way the note that Kevin clicked would play out of his laptop’s speaker to audibly confirm the note that he just readjusted on the musical lines. Kevin’s left hand is maneuvering on the trackpad while his hand pats on your head that rested on his left shoulder, humming comfortingly while you calm your racing thoughts.

“But hey.” Kevin finally speaks up, “I just wanted to say that I like how busy this is making me.” Nodding to his own words, “It makes me forget the other subjects for a while.”

You exhale, knowing how much Kevin has been having a hard time with the other core subjects but still wakes up every day and chooses to smile courageously, “But this isn’t the right way. To forget other things, I mean.”

“I know, I know.” The boy lets out a little ‘aha’ when he finally finds the rhythm that you both wanted, playing the bar again and again, tapping his index finger on his thigh as he follows the 4/4 count, “But hey, thanks for accepting this performance even with all the final year-end exams. Or else I would REALLY be overthinking that recent chemistry test.”

“Love you, bro.” Reminding him thoughtfully to calm the noise in his head, “I’m always here for you.”

“Love you too, sis.” Playfully, he makes a fist and gently taps your forehead with his knuckles, emitting a laugh from you, “Just take a rest, okay? I’ll just,” Kevin adjusts his slouching posture, straightening his back fully against the wall so that his shoulders are higher and more comfortable for you to lay on, “be on another war with this app. You would expect I know all the tricks after using it for a year but guess not.”

So yes, it was a bit of a mess but on the bright side, you are both extremely proud of that final stage together as high school students. It earned a huge round of applause from the audience and many thankful regards were given by all the teachers in the department of music. It was a bittersweet feeling to see the head of music cry at the realisation that he would never see his two best students attend his class anymore but he made you both promise to visit once in a while.

But the performance being an open event, neither of you realised the opportunities or the types of people that would attend the concert. And so here you both are in an educational setting but with casual clothing unlike the blazer, tie, and the one hundred percent cotton blouses that you were forced to wear.

“Gosh Kev, you’re so funny!” Kevin smiles nervously, biting on his bottom lip as he refuses to look at you at all. You continued to laugh a little bit more, the tears in your eyes and the stitch on your abdomen growing with each breath you took. It’s when Kevin doesn’t laugh along or show any indications of joining in that you raise your eyebrows, some sort of nervousness in your eyes, “Wait, you’re being serious?!”

“It’s crazy, I know!” You just stare at him in shock, your mouth hanging wide open at your best friend next to you, “I think I’ll take the chance and university can wait. People can apply to university anytime but this?” He is finally telling you his worries and thoughts that have been running endlessly after two months of keeping it in, “It’s kind of time crucial.”

"Yes,” You understood his worries, knowing that the life of being a celebrity or an idol is quite limited. It has never been said explicitly but at least for Korean companies, there is a reason why there is always a certain age limitation when auditioning, “I get that but Kevin, are you sure? I get that you've always been into music and you've always been good at it! Trust me, I know! But you've always wanted to be here as well! You never really wanted to be a musical artist."

"That's why life is crazy right?"

You just finished your last class of the day and surprisingly Kevin shows up, waiting for you, looking conflicted and stressed about a subject that you obviously did not know about. His tired smile told you everything, you being able to read him easily like an open book. Kevin realises this, his shoulder slumping in defeat with how you look at him in concern and he feels your hesitation to keep the conversation going.

“Your ‘passive-aggressive tiger parents’ are good with it?”

“Well,” Reminded of the day that Stella convinced their parents to let him go with his path and to support his desires, “I guess so? They let me do everything and introduced me to music so it ain't my fault!" He finally turns to you for the first time after the laughing fit, "You’ll support me right?"

"Of course I will!" You confirm incredulously, both your eyebrows raising and the volume of the sentence rising with each word, “Damn we only met a bit over three years ago but it really does feel like we’ve been friends since birth.”

Kevin shrugs, happy with your genuine response to his uncertainties, “I’m just cool in that way.”

A roll of your eyes is your only response to him, “So, when’s the last time that I’ll see your ‘slay’ful face?”

He grimaces at the way you worded the adjective, “Ew, what is that word?” But then the truth had to be dropped someday; that being right now, “Y-Yeah about that.”

“Kevin Moon.” You frown at the way he just whistles to avoid the subject, an obvious action to buy time, “Kevin.”

"Not too soon! Like…like five days…"

Comedically, the crows on the campus made their signature noise and you took in the information slowly.

"WHAT THE BLEEP DUDE?!"

"OKAY IN MY DEFENCE I REALLY DIDN'T KNOW WHAT TO DO! YOU KNOW HOW INDECISIVE I AM!"

"OKAY BUT YOU NEVER BOTHERED TO TELL ME?!"

"I'M SORRY!"

Smiling at the obvious decrease in the stack of papers that needed to be marked, you decide to stretch your limbs and take a breath of fresh air before your energetic third graders arrive at school. You really left it to the last minute and you can’t wait to finish the last day of the week so that you can chill until another week starts. The weather was strangely gloomy, possibly due to the rainfall and the colder wind. You kind of regretted coming out, especially since the steam from your coffee no longer had that hypnotising white swirl in the air.

But you didn’t leave.

Instead, you even lean over the balcony’s metal railing. Even with the long sleeve covering your elbows, you enjoyed the contrast between your still-healthy body temperature and the icy surface. You weren’t sure why either but you just wanted to bask in the cold air and you can only pray that you weren’t going to get sick. The weather causes your shoulders to tense, bringing them towards the centre of your body to try and conserve some heat. It didn’t work that well but you were still feeling some sort of comfort with the morning weather. 

You didn’t realise the time that passed by faster when you were practically doing nothing. The driveway, parking lots, and walkways eventually fill themselves with the diverse colours of school bags, shoes, and hair accessories. Mentally preparing yourself for the day ahead, you prepared your ‘teacher smile’, trying your best to hide your fatigue from the seemingly long week. 

"Teacher, teacher!" 

You finally lean away from the railing, giving a slight nod to the parent of your most energetic student, and the gesture is returned straight away. Crouching down to match his eye level, you put your palm out to him and he slaps his palm on yours, "Wow. Looks like someone had too much sugar."

"Teacher! Do you know K-Pop?" Your body froze just like the raindrops that didn’t make it to the floor, hanging solid on the rooftop’s overhang, "It's a huge thing right now!"

Oh, if only he knew…

"I can hear your rumbling thoughts like an open book." After his flustered state and a string of apologies that led you to put him in a joking headlock, Kevin grew quiet once again, letting his thoughts fill in the atmosphere between you both, "What's up? And don't lie because you know you suck at it."

The boy attempts to change the subject again, "If it's a book then wouldn't it be read instead of heard?"

"...ok smartass." You stare at him unimpressed with his attempt, "But no seriously, what's up? You know that it's okay not to be okay."

"It's just that…" He ponders, a sad smile on his face as he thinks about his current life situation, "My life is fine as it is right now. It's all great: I'm going to a good university, studying the course I want and I'm looking forward to being a teacher." An eyebrow slowly raised on your side, prompting him to continue, "Why is this happening now? Why is this happening when everything is going fine?" Kevin's facade finally breaks, his eyes pooling with tears with the many unanswered questions, "Why didn't this opportunity come earlier? Maybe when I wasn't in university? I can't even get a refund now…"

"Hey…" Kevin rarely cries in public. For one, you've only seen him cry twice and both times were because he dived in too deep with his plans, making him depressed and lost. You realised once again, with the tears that fell on his jeans that Kevin is not the happy-go-lucky guy who he displays himself to be most of the time. He's human above everything else and even though he always tries to see the best in every situation, it's moments like these that you see your best friend in a different light than the rest of the world, "Money is not all to life, you know? What's the point of stacking up money when you can't even do what you want?"

"But then why would people be so money-crazed then? People work for money…"

"To use it on what they love and need. Some people don't even feel like work is for money." Even though Kevin just stares down at the floor, swinging his legs in the air, you know that he's taking in everything you're saying, "But that's beside the point right now, okay? If making the stage your usual routine will lead you to happiness, then I want you to take it." 

"But…why?" The clause can never be fully answered and Kevin knew that despite his multiple endeavours to rake for answers, "Why me? When everything is going well?"

"Because God has different plans for you." Inhaling the colder air, you told yourself to remember this moment between you and him, "I'm not saying you're pretending to be someone you're not. But the moment that you stop pretending, the moment you accept that something out there is better for you, I think will be the moment when you finally accept yourself."

"Are you positive that it'll come?" His voice decreased, along with the final bits of his self-confidence, "The journey of self-acceptance, I mean."

You both have been talking in hushed whispers, as gentle as the whistling wind. But you decide to finally add confidence into the conversation.

"Hey Kevin." The said boy looks up to you, "Humble yourselves, therefore, under God's mighty hand…"

"...that he may lift you in due time." He finishes the biblical passage that he has been fascinated with for the longest time. 

Satisfied, you nod, proud of him, "I can't answer your 'whys', Kevin. To be honest, I don’t think anyone can." You finally voice your opinion, knowing now that your time with him is limited, "But just know that even though you would have strived here in university, one of God's greatest gifts for you is your musicality."

Your words relieve Kevin of his headache, heartache, and the shirt that he has been clamping since the start of the day. You chuckle when Kevin asks for a hug, opening your arms wide to offer him the best comfort that he will forever cherish and be thankful for. Soothingly, you sway your body side to side, humming the melody to the latest (and last) song that you performed together. Kevin joins in with his harmony which has always left people in awe and starstruck.

"Maybe you're just meant to be up there and twerk in front of the camera and not just to our friends." You comment when the song comes to an end.

"Wow, alright." His sniffles didn't cease even when he dragged the final 'w' and 't'.

"You'll be okay, Kevin." The light but secure taps on his back prove your reassuring words, "I know you will." 

"Surely…right?" It's the final question that he would ever ask you about this subject, "As we know, not everything we see on the screen is real. I just feel like I'll lose myself because the idol world wants us to be a certain way."

"No, I don't think you will." You pull Kevin away, pouting at his flushed cheeks and tired face, "I know it's stressful to keep up with society but I hope you know that there will be people that will love and support you. And if you make a mistake? If you lose yourself in shape, way, or form? Then you fight. You fight for your rights and fight for them righteously. You’ll fight because like you always say: learn from relationships. You learn the do's and not do's and still keep the relationship genuine."

“You have that much faith in me?”

“I do.” You tilt your chin high in the air, confidence finally reaching him in the form of a bright smile, "And for those who don’t,” You shake your head, flipping your hair back sassily, “those bitches can walk out the door."

You remember the memory somewhat fondly. To be honest, you found it a bit funny because you lost your best friend over music. You would learn after his departure that you would never find a friend like him ever again. Ironically, it was music that brought you two together—yet it was the same thing that drifted you both apart. 

It took a while for you to bounce back. You grew bitter about doing music especially when Kevin no longer answered any of your messages anymore out of nowhere. When you bumped into Stella while grocery shopping, you found out that it was because of his phone ban as a trainee. You remember going home that day, feeling guilty that you blamed him, not considering his external situation; especially when you knew that Kevin would never cut someone off without an explanation. Yes, it’s been lonely; you did lose your best friend after all. At first, you regretted letting him go, you resented him for not texting you back and you avoided the stage because it reminded you of him.

But God had a different plan for you too. Because when you accidentally clicked on one of the recommended videos on your page, the satisfied smile, the happy tears and the relieved exhale showed your real feelings that you were merely in a phase of confusion. All the hate, all the resentment, all faded as soon as you heard the slightly changed vocal timbre that you unfortunately are no longer used to. You found peace with the person who dances happily underneath the flashing, colourful lights with ten other boys.

“Teacher?” The boy’s innocent head tilt pulls you back to the present time and he seems pleased with the way you nod to his question, “I like K-Pop too! I found this group! They’re called THE BOYZ!”

You were amazed at the stars that the topic put to your student’s eyes and you nodded intently to his excited story. It’s not long after when the mother pushes her child in, sitting him down so that you can get on with your priorities. You straighten your knees, standing back up, pushing your hips out side to side to stretch from the unexpectedly long conversation.

“Damn, Kev…” Your shoulders and chest rise at the deep breath and your hands find their place on your hips,  “And after all these years…you’re still able to make me smile?”

The starting bell rang just in time for your last student to arrive just before you closed the glass door to block out the outside background noise. With the final student ready and set up, you stand in front of the electronic board that displays the first class of the day. Your mind begins to wonder again, particularly about the boy that you once shared a dream with. Routinely, you rhythmically clap to grab everyone’s attention, and surely enough, the conversations between the students die down, and you give back the fond look that your students gave you. 

“Shall we start music class?”

The enthusiastic response answers your wondering thoughts and the question you asked yourself outside the classroom.

“Guess that’s just you, Kevin. That’s just who you are, Kev.”

navi/masterlist!! 🤍 series introduction 🤍 series masterlist tags (send a dm/ask if you would like to be here!): @deoboyznet 📢❤️ @k-labels 💙🤍 @k-films 🤎🎞️ @kflixnet 📺🍿