Hi Yes Adding To What Youve Said! I Genuinely Love Questions Like This. Its Such A Deep Question And

Hi yes adding to what you’ve said! I genuinely love questions like this. It’s such a deep question and though I am not an actual major in psychology (not yet atleast) I am someone who as well had my fair share of struggles with it and I’ve done a lot of research. Depression can be an umbrella term, yes, though I’ve never seen it that way. Everyone is a little depressed or has anxiety which is very true, only difference is when it becomes a diagnosis it’s more of a disorder. Which technically just means it’s making you struggle a lot more than you are suppose to and it’s keeping you from working on daily tasks. Also what you have described is chronic depression. Chronic depression is a type of depression (there are many types) it’s something you are born with and you have to live with for your whole life. It’s mostly created from genetics, so if you have parents who suffer from mental illness you are likely to also get that same issue. Depression isn’t necessarily curable and more you learn to cope with it (going back to how I said I think everyone has a little depression). It’s a long process of healing from the way it overtook your thoughts and body and learn to live with it rather than let it control you.

People don’t realize how bad depression actually affects a person until your living with it. It doesn’t only affect the person with depression but the people around them as-well.

As a person with depression it’s so much more than what people make it out to be sometimes. I’m bed rotting for 99% of my day. We’re not always sad, a lot of us still smile and laugh. It’s aching feeling of emptiness and hopelessness. It’s feeling like nothing can fulfill you anymore, cause for the few minutes you are happy you go back to feeling alone and empty. It’s waking up in the morning and finding no purpose in your life, yes we have goals, a lot of us do but we have the hopeless feeling of we will never fulfill those goals. These feelings will take over almost every aspect in your life.

Hanging out with friend’s won’t feel the same, it will stop being fulfilling, and things you once loved doing will only fall into the background of your empty pained mind. You’ll lose every motivation you had in life, showering will become of difficult task, brushing your teeth, eating, sleeping, drinking, and so much more will start to feel meaningless.

It’s not only draining for the person dealing with depression but also people around them. A lot of people don’t know how to help or react so a lot of the time all they can do is stand by and watch as the person they love fall into a state of emptiness.

Depression has so many bigger affects than most people realize.

I just wanted to say thank you for the well spoken words on the Caiti situation, as a victim myself in almost the exact same way minus the alcohol, the rhetoric going around on this situation is so incredibly harmful.

There are so many obvious logical fallacies that will now just be used on other victims after this in the impact zone of the internet involved.

People saying that if it was actually bad, then someone in the room would have put a stop to it, when bystander effect, normalized bad practices, and alcohol exists.

People saying that since George didn’t do it purposefully without consent means it isn’t SA.

People saying that if it was serious she would have gotten the justice system involved when most cases aren’t going to be prosecutable in a court of law with minimal proof, and in general often damage the victims more without an outcome that helps anyone, and is often morally objectionable due to the inhumane aspects of prison and US punishment without good rehabilitation.

People saying that she’s either too much or too little traumatized for the experience to be valid, when the incident being morally wrong doesn’t require more or less of an impact.

People saying that people supporting Caiti are saying it’s exactly the same as Shelby’s situation and because it’s not, it’s less valid, when although abuse and SA can have different scales of harm caused, doesn’t mean that SA doesn’t deserve condemnation. Weaponizing someone’s lengthy painful experience to say that we shouldn’t treat another’s seriously is awful. Her story is exactly what Shelby meant to inspire sharing, because this stuff happens in all shapes and forms.

People saying that being emotional or not describing every part in excruciating detail when coming forward for the first time is manipulative and proves bad character or smth.

People saying that because a perpetrator is drunk both sides were equally as wrong and no one can be held accountable.

People saying that cuddling, flirting, being friendly before or after, freezing, not immediately leaving, not saying no, is consent.

People saying that this must be for clout or money because subs are turned on.

People saying that George’s response was a good apology when he said that because the act wasn’t extreme for him he didn’t think much of it, and focusing on many details not actually related to the incident or on other general hatred for dteam to imply bias against them, and generally implied that he was sorry that she felt uncomfortable rather than for what he did. And accepting the apology for Caiti.

People saying that to come forward (especially while not even naming the person) was only to ruin their life, and that that’s the only thing you can get out of coming forward publicly instead of support, peace of mind from not keeping something inside so long, and awareness so other people could come forward etc.

People saying that it was wrong to not handle this privately when that isn’t a viable option for a lot of cases particularly with powerful people involved, or when what you are seeking isn’t necessarily anything from who hurt you, like this is just some petty drama.

People saying that only acts considered more “extreme” and even more sexual should be taken seriously.

People saying because she angrily laughed in her recent response and was extremely explicit about what happened to her that she couldn’t have been shy or hesitant in her first response and is lying.

People actively victim blaming and overemphasizing underage drinking because “she isn’t a victim” when this exact rhetoric will and has been used in these cases time and again and shouldn’t be brought up when SA is even in the discussion, and will be used to guilt people who see it when they become a victim.

People saying perceived consent for other acts or the same act previously is consent for another.

People now believing in an incredibly dangerous definition of nonverbal consent because of dream’s statement, when nonverbal consent has been promoted for the protection of people who go nonverbal, it has to be as clear and exact as verbal consent, either as predetermined signals with a partner, nods, or moving someone’s hand somewhere, not just interpreting body language of a drunk stranger. The whole point of the consent movement is to have signs that aren’t misinterpretable to avoid hurting your partner or someone. If someone internally does not consent, but these signs prove consent, then what is the point? If I thought the signs I was using with someone I loved or a human I respect as I living being, didn’t actually express their wishes, I’d sure as hell try something else.

People saying that because Caiti expressed these signs that they’re calling nonverbal consent that she was lying to George.

People saying that because of that, this is a false allegation and is damaging victims, and some victims weaponizing their own experience to say that Caiti isn’t a victim and should shut up.

People saying that she just changed her mind, and anyone who isn’t reacting absolutely negatively in the moment who hasn’t consented is just having self guilt and is projecting.

People saying that anything other than enthusiastic consent is consent.

More real actual victims are going to fall into one of these categories of criticism and false logic, with it being much rarer that a ‘perfect’ victim comes along by these standards, and an intricate framework for ignoring them has been developed from this incident. If dteam hadn’t promoted and encouraged all of these fallacies from the start I think Caiti could have gotten a proper response to help her move on and not be so much more damaged, and many people wouldn’t have started to see dteam as so tainted by ugliness. In that way everything they’ve done since Caiti first came forward has done perhaps more long term damage than the act itself.

Because of their bias and falling for these manipulative tactics, this audience would just as easily invalidate me, and that hurts, even as I didn’t get as hurt as Caiti and I actually got validation from the people I told and had the confidence to know it was wrong immediately even though I froze and such, all these years later, this fact somehow hurts.

Sorry for the rant, I just needed this off my chest. Thanks again.

Ofcourse it means the world to mean hearing other peoples story’s and your rant is incredibly well worded. I show my support for victims because I know how hard it is. I was always silent for the longest time but now all I can feel is anger and I want people to understand that is more complex than it actually is and you can’t always go to the authorities. When I was 9 I had my 2nd experience this one being me realizing what sexual harassment actually is. I did go to court and I talked to authorities but in the end “I was lying.” I was 9 and they expected me to give full detail on what had happened when in reality all I wanted was to play with my Barbie’s. I didn’t understand what was actually happening cause I was a child. The justice system is incredibly flawed. Sad part is I still see him when holidays come around. It’s sickening. People constantly jumping to blame the victim makes me irritated. To them no matter what you’ll do you’re never gonna be considered a real victim. The idea of how our society reacts to these topics deeply upsets me. I speak for victims who are always told be silent cause they deserve to be heard. Saying she just wants clout is ridiculous when she has so much more to lose than George does. This why most of my post are on these serious topics because I’m not allowing myself to ever be silenced again. I’m also so sorry that you had to experience something similar, I wish every victim the best healing journey. It’s important to remember you’re not alone and there’s people here who believe you and think your story is valid. No matter how big or small your story is, no matter how big or small the impact it had on you is, your story will forever be valid.

hypersexuality isn’t a cute new sexuality that makes you sexual all of the time.

it’s a miserable trauma response that makes you sick of your body and your mind.

CW for upsetting thoughts about hypersexuality.

thinking of the ways you should be taken advantage of by people you’re friends with and would never want to think of sexually.

thoughts about your teachers, parents, aunts, uncles, grandparents, family friends. people you would never want to touch you like that.

being convinced you’re only worth anything if they want to have sex with you or that the only valid form of affection/love is sex.

seeking out people who you know will only pay attention to you for sex, who only want things from you for sex or sexual favors, even if you don’t actually want to do these things.

being unable to even have flashbacks in peace because here comes the wave of being horny even though you’re upset and now you want to rip your body apart more.

wanting to apologize to your partner after a fight by giving sexual favors to make sure they still love you.

curling up in a ball on your bedroom floor and sobbing because the ache in the pit of your stomach won’t go away but you’re not in the mood because all you can think about is what happened to make you this way.

I want to also say I am so proud of shubble for being strong and speaking her truth. I feel so bad for her and what she went through with Wilbur cause she did not deserve that! I have not watched the fall stream but I’ve seen clips. As of right now I don’t think I can manage watching the fall stream cause even hearing clips made me nauseated. From I’ve heard and seen so far I am in disgust. But shubble is a wonderful person and she deserves the love and support. Also btw this isn’t DRAMA it’s fucking ABUSE! There’s a difference that I think a few of you can’t fucking see. Shubble was abused, she’s a victim but most importantly she’s a survivor. A person who deserves so much better, deserves all the love she can get in a time like this.

@dutchess-psyche

Since you clearly can’t understand simple context clues the full fucking clip and if that’s not enough for you

The video link. Next time watch your fucking mouth and don’t call me dense for commenting on the fact that what George had said was creepy. Cause as I even stated in BOTH of my reply’s that was his response on consent. That it’s “fine” because what if the guy was drunk. Think before responding don’t actively try calling me dense for exposing someone for being a creep.

You’re right. You don’t always need to verbalized consent, yes technically it’s not always needed. Does that apply to a women you have just met a day ago? No. You don’t know her so don’t act like you do. Does that apply to a drunk women? No. She’s drunk, no drunk person can consent to anything so fuck off.

You guys are missing the import aspect of this whole situation! Yes technically consent isn’t always verbalized, it can be in body language. Yet that only applies to a person you’ve known for a long time, you know them, their way of thinking and how their body language is. Doesn’t apply to a drunk girl you’ve met a day ago.

Yet as much as consent doesn’t need to be verbalized, it’s important to ask. Even if you knew the person for 1 year or even 10 years. Ask consent, it’s really not that fucking weird to ask! It won’t kill the mood, and if you think asking for someone’s consent is killing the mood that tells me a lot of what type of person you are.

So is consent always verbalized? No. Does it always have to be verbalized? No. Is it better to be verbalized? Yes. Ask for consent, it’s not that fucking difficult.