Confession:

Confession:

I am seven years old and sitting in a room that smells of wood and guilt.

There is a wall next to me,

Someone is on the other side,

I hear him breathing.

“I don’t think I have anything to confess,” I say, voice small

There is grumbling from the other side.

“No one is without sin, you are not an exception. Confess”

I look at my hands,

I am ashamed.

I am a human, and this means that I have sinned.

It was branded on me from the moment I was born,

And now I must lay bare all the wrongdoings I have done since then.

I tell the Father of how I step on the ants I see in my room,

How I lied about eating a piece of chocolate,

That I don’t love my neighbor because she doesn’t play with me.

As I speak with the faceless man beside me,

I think of God.

Omnipotent God,

Who insists that I flay myself at his altar for his disciples to see,

As I bleed and cry from the enormity of the sins I have committed in my seven years.

When I am finished telling the priest about the bugs, sweets, and toys,

He tells me to pray.

To pray that I am forgiven and don’t go to hell for behaving like a child.

I sob and clasp my hands together,

My nails digging into my skin.

I try to pray but I forget the words.

Am I such a sinner that I cannot say the Lord's words?

The father scoffs before starting the prayer,

I join,

Praying for forgiveness,

So that a seven year old girl won’t rot in hell.

Every time a fic is written where a canonically scarred or insane character is suddenly cleared of all ailments, an angel loses its wings.

Found this old fic concept in my notes, I doubt I'll ever get around to writing it or that I could do it justice if I did, but it still makes me laugh so I wrote it up as a little blurb. Perhaps it will make you laugh too.

Mega Popstar Dream and Hob, his extremely non-famous celebrity crush

So in this universe Dream is an extremely famous musician. He's like Taylor Swift level of famous, if you walk up to any random person on the street they would know who he is. Meanwhile Hob is an actor but really not very well known, he was in a few small projects and is in the core cast of one TV show that's well-regarded but not super popular.

It's Dream's FAVORITE TV SHOW and Hob is his FAVORITE ACTOR that he's ferally OBSESSED WITH. Everyone knows about this too, Dream is really obvious about it. In interviews people will ask him what he likes and he's like "this is my favorite TV show" "have you seen Hob Gadling in that show isn't he incredible", They'll ask him if he has a celebrity crush (as a joke) and he's like "YES HOB GADLING 😍" like it's become a meme in Dream's fandom how much he has a crush on this random actor.

They've never met though, probably Dream was afraid to -- 'never meet your heroes' and all -- and never let his team book any overlapping events. So he's never seen Hob in person, only watched his favorite TV show 65 times in a row and memorized every inch of his face. Like a stalker.

So then a Buzzfeed-esque YouTube channel is running a special edition of their usual challenge show, "People Meet Their Celebrity Crush", except this time it's "CELEBRITIES Meet Their Celebrity Crush." Dream's entire team conspires against him to book him on this. Dream doesn't know what it is until the very moment since the whole point is to surprise people with their crush. Needless to say, Hob was REALLY dubious when the channel reached out like "do you want to come on as Dream's celebrity crush" but what's he gonna do say NO? say NO when Dream is so pretty and cute? So yeah he goes.

Anyway during the moment in the video when they revealed his celebrity crush to him -- aka Hob just looking like a totally normal and random guy -- Dream literally tripped over a chair and fell on the floor and then fainted. Instant meme and it became the thumbnail of the video. When Dream woke up to find Hob crouched by him all concerned asking if he was okay he nearly had a panic attack, he was never more flustered and nervous in his whole life not even performing for crowds of millions.

Hob fell in love instantly. He doesn't even know much about Dream, he hasn't even listened to Dream's music other than what's just playing ubiquitously on the radio all the time but all it took was watching Dream fall over a chair and then look up at him with his huge starry eyes and he was like 'This one's mine forever idc. I gotta protect this nerd he won't survive in the wild.'

Anyway they did start dating after that and Dream never leaves the honeymoon phase for the rest of his whole life, he truly thinks Hob is the most handsome man and best actor in the entire world and will tell anyone so at any opportunity, he goes around saying things like "see if you believe really hard you too can marry your celebrity crush 🥰" with zero irony, he might have skipped the Grammys to go to the premiere of season 3 of Hob's show (Hob didn't ask him to do that) (Dream won the Grammy but had more fun staring at Hob's face for 2 hours than he would have had at the awards show). Meanwhile Hob never talks about Dream in public because Dream already has negative 500% privacy in his life, he's extremely protective of him, and he allegedly punched one of the paparazzi in the face when they tried to take stealth shots at their wedding which was supposed to be a private affair. ALLEGEDLY. No charges were filed.

Dream did post one photo of the wedding on insta for his adoring fandom in which he described Hob as his knight in shining armor and then denied any knowledge of any 'alleged' events when asked about it in the future. Because Hob was so much more private about their relationship than Dream, for a while Dream's fandom had been like HOB DOESN'T DESERVE DREAM but after the (alleged) story about Hob punching someone in the face came out they were all obsessed with him. So that solved that problem.

(Despite Hob's efforts a paparazzi photo did come out of them the morning after the wedding, Hob sitting on the terrace drinking coffee, Dream sitting on his lap wearing Hob's shirt and looking thoroughly ravished. Dream might have framed it.)

Then they lived happily ever after. Dream put Hob in every one of his music videos regardless of whether it made sense for the story. Hob got one of Dream's songs put in his favorite TV show which made Dream's whole entire year. The end :)

I finished dungeon meshi and I just need to doodle the sillies being silly to cope

Cancel cringe culture is so funny to me, not because of furries or anything like that. Because of crocs. I remember the age when everyone gagged and groaned about them, but look at how my boys have grown. They’re fashionable, mainstream, showing that cringe is an every spinning wheel of nonsense. Be yourself, be crocs.

Something I’ll never forget is the that I was calmly scrolling and suddenly I get a pure unfiltered view of a STINGRAY GIVING BIRTH! I didn’t want to see that, full stingussy on display while birthing three times. The worst thing is…the recorder put the ray on its back, THEYRE SUPPOSED TO BE ON THEIR STOMACH WHILE GIVING BIRITH!