Number Five - Tumblr Posts
stage7: homicidal rage
Ain’t no way I’m watching TUA season 4. Five and Lila together just wrong.
Imagine that in S4 he living is life in a retirement home, just chilling and relaxing
Hydrated, moisturized, retired, staying in his lane, not a care in the world; Five checks into a retirement home AU and gets the rest he freaking deserves
Five with Diego: Fuck you. You’re a piece of shit, you’re lucky I fucking found you dickhead
Five with Viktor: 🥺🥺 Take your time sweetie, ♥️ No pressure 💙💖
A.N.: post originally had Viktor’s deadname, post relates to season 2
The Fifth Musketeer ~ Five Hargreeves x reader
Gif not mine
Word count: 2,356
Warnings: Spoiler alert!; It’s supposed to be a happy ending so in this story the Handler dies, the briefcases can’t be fixed and the apocalypse is prevented without any explosions.
Summary: When Five returns to the Commission after his deal with the Handler he meets the reader who hates working there as much as he does.
The constant clicking and the occasional dinging of typewriters filled the small office room. Except for one all the desks were occupied by dedicated employees. All of them busy tapping away at the typewriters keys. Unlike them, I didn’t try to get as much work done as possible. Unlike them, I didn’t enjoy working at ‘The Commission’. I despised working here, telling the agents what their next mission was. More often than not I was ordering someone’s ‘correction’, as they liked to call it. Then again, I understood that the job was important.
I looked at the simple silver watch around my wrist – another hour until the break when I could finally escape this horrid place with the help of my new book ‘The Three Musketeers’. I just loved how the four main characters fought for what they believed in, willing to sacrifice everything if it secured the life of those important to them. The black ink on the slightly yellow pages was the only thing keeping me from going insane because of this work.
Outside on the hallway I could hear the frantic footsteps of employees, but one pair of footsteps stood out. They were confident. A woman wearing heels. And they were headed straight towards our door. I knew these footsteps oh so well. Most of the employees were scared of her especially after hearing of her ruthless work as an agent. The Handler. And just as I predicted the blonde woman appeared in the door frame, beside her a young man.
His dark brown hair was styled perfectly only a few strands hung into his forehead. He wasn’t smiling like newcomers usually did. A navy blue school uniform hung from his slender frame. Both of his hands were leisurely in his trouser pockets. He slowly and carefully looked around the room. When his gaze landed on me I inhaled sharply. His bright grey eyes were filled with such an intensity as well as mystery. The approximately 20 year old man oozed effortless beauty. I took in his appearance. He seemed so much more mature than any of the men or rather boys that I ever dated.
“Everybody, this is Number Five. I am sure you have all heard of him”, the cold voice of the Handler introduced him as she lead him to the only vacant desk. Number Five?! He was one of the most famous agents that the Commission had ever employed. Everyone knew his name. He was the best of the best. He was like the Kanye West of the time-travelling world. I had always envisioned him to be a lot older, but I wasn’t disappointed by this pleasant surprise as he was very easy on the eyes.
As soon as the Handler left I turned back to focus on the file in front of me. During the hour until break everyone tried to suck up to Five especially Dot who was sitting behind him. I almost had to laugh out loud at how hard she tried and how easily she was ignored.
When it was finally time for the break I quickly gathered my things and headed for the cafeteria. I grabbed some food and sat down at my usual table opening up my book. That break I continuously glanced up from the story to see if Five had arrived – I wondered where he would sit – but to no avail, he didn’t show up. Neither did he the days afterwards.
The first time I saw him during break time was almost a week after he had been introduced to us by the Handler. He walked in and picked up a tray of food. His stride was filled with confidence. He ignored the calls of our coworkers offering him to sit with them and headed straight towards the table only I was sitting at. I greeted him with a smile before continuing with my book.
“What’s the book about?” It took a while for me to realize that Five had been talking to me as I had expected him to ignore me as he did with the others. “What?... oh... um. It’s about these four soldiers in France in the 17th century. They are part of the king’s guard and they would do anything for their king and queen. The book is mostly about how they save the royal family especially the queen from the Cardinal’s plans.” After I had given him a brief summary both of us fell back to silence while eating.
Then a question popped into my mind. A rumour I had heard. After gathering all my courage I shyly spoke up again. “How come you’re back here? I thought you had left the Commission.” Five looked up at me with a calculated look before he replied: “Certain circumstances demanded my presence here.” I had no idea what he was talking about which was most likely his intention.
“Oh... if I ever had the chance to leave I would leave for good no matter what.” “Why?”, Five asked me curiously. “I just hate working here, especially with the Handler as my boss.” “Why? What’s the deal with the Handler? I know she’s a horrible woman but the others don’t seem to have a problem with her either.” His question made me sigh. “A few years ago there was a confrontation between me and her. I wanted to leave. She wanted me to stay. Let’s just say it didn’t end well for me.”
Silence befell us again until the young man sitting across from me raised his voice again. “And what would you do if you didn’t work here anymore?” That was a good question. My plan always was to leave this place and settle down somewhere else but what exactly I would do I had no concrete ideas. I was lost in thought, going through all the possibilities. The thought of the things I could do put a smile on my face. In turn this made the corners of Five’s mouth slightly tilt upward which seemed like something he didn’t do too often.
“Ah, well... maybe I would open up a secondhand bookstore... Oh! I could have an integrated coffee and lounge area!”, my eyes lit up in joy at this idea, “maybe I would finally meet someone and start a family.” Thinking of my future with a man I couldn’t stop myself from picturing Five as that man.
Five sitting across from me at a small Italian restaurant laughing at me for getting tomato sauce onto my nose – our first date. Five standing in the kitchen cooking something while I tiredly sat on the chesterfield in the living room watching him – our first night of living together. Five comfortingly looking at me as I nervously ran my hands over my dress before walking down the aisle – our wedding day. Five running after a little girl with dark brown pigtails, gently throwing her up into the air as soon as he caught up with her and catching her again – our first child.
Suddenly I awoke from my daydream and blushed furiously as I noticed that Five was looking at me. “What would you do?”, I asked him. “Dunno”, he answered before turning back to his food. We finished eating in silence.
It was a few days after my talk with Five. I was on the way to our office room from a meeting. I was lost in thoughts until I walked past the tube room and heard a familiar voice. It was Five. He was talking to someone. Then there was a thumping noise like something had fallen to the floor. I carried on on my way. He was probably just talking to Gloria.
Suddenly Five came running out of the room. As soon as he saw me he grabbed my arm pulling me with him. “Quick! Come with me!” What was going on? What was so urgent he had to pull me with him?
Suddenly there was a loud explosion behind us. It shook the floor and walls causing clouds of dust to fill the hallway and me to stumble. As I threatened to fall Five quickly grabbed my waist with his free arm keeping me upright.
“What was that?! Where are we going?”, I asked my companion, my voice filled with shock and fear. “I can’t tell you now. Later. We just have to get going. Get out of here”, he rushed. “Why? What did you do?” This made him stop in his tracks and turn around to me. His face was completely serious as he asked me: “Do you trust me?” I thought about it. If I was honest with myself, I actually didn’t know him. I knew nothing about him about him but still I found myself trusting him with all that I had – with my life if it had to be – and so I nodded. He seemed relieved at my answer like he had held his breath while I contemplated. “Then just do as I say, OK? ”, Five asked of me and I nodded again.
After taking a lot of unknown hallways and occasionally hiding behind a closed door we arrived in the briefcase maintenance room with a clear view of the storage area for functioning briefcases. Five turned towards me whispering: “Wait here. Be ready to run as soon as I’m back. Do you understand me?” Then he disappeared with a spacial jump before I could even answer properly.
Now I saw him in the storage area. He grabbed one of the black briefcases before dropping something I couldn’t quite see. With a blue flash Five stood in front of me again. The two of us immediately ran. Behind us I heard another explosion. We ran and ran until we reached a secluded hallway. Here Five took my hand in his, gave me a comforting look and opened the briefcase.
The next thing I saw was an old living room with antiquities covering every free space. Standing right in front of us were a handful of people, all around 30 years old, staring at us full of surprise. Five let go of my hand and grabbed the coffee-to-go cup from the curly haired woman’s hand. Then he emptied it in one go throwing the cup over his shoulder.
“Where did you come from? And who is the girl?”, inquired a tall and muscular, blonde man. “I was at work. And this is my coworker (Y/n). (Y/n) these are my siblings”, Five replied nonchalantly, “So, where are we at with the apocalypse? Any new ideas?” The four young people looked at each other embarrassed. “Well... um... we were kinda giving up.” “Of course you were. Well, at least someone did their work”, Five replied sarcastically, “I figured out who causes the apocalypse.” “Who?”, his four siblings cried out in unison. “Harold Jenkins.”
I had tried to help the Hargreeves siblings as much as I could but without any powers I wasn’t the most useful. In the mean time we had figured out that actually Vanya would cause the apocalypse. We were at the theatre trying to stop her. To our luck Allison was able to stop her sister from hurting anyone. When Allison fired the gun Vanya fell to the floor unconscious.
Immediately the weight of the world fell from our shoulders and all of us were flooded with relief. I was so happy that everything had went so well that I couldn’t stop myself from hugging Five, my arms around his neck, a huge smile on my face. To my surprise Five hugged back tightly instead of pushing me away.
Suddenly we were torn out of our embrace when Luther cleared his throat. Everyone was staring at us which made us jump away from each other blushing furiously. “What should we do with Vanya?”, Luther asked his seemingly younger brother. We settled on taking her with us to the Academy where Grace could take care of her.
The six of us celebrated our success with a few drinks in the living room. I enjoyed spending time with the Hargreeves siblings, especially now with all the stress of the last few days gone. It almost felt like I was a part of their family. I was sitting on the couch next to Klaus laughing about one of his comments. I hadn’t been this happy and carefree for a long time and I enjoyed it.
Just as I finished my drink I looked up and saw Five looking at me, silently gesturing me to follow him out to the hallway. “I’ll be right back”, I told Klaus while setting my glass down on a side table. Klaus wiggled his eyebrows knowingly. “Stop that!”, I had to laugh as I left the room.
Five was leaning against one of the pillars waiting for me. As I walked over to him he straightened up. He seemed a little unsure of him self, which was surprising to me. I stopped in front of him wondering why he wanted me to come with him. He loosened his tie and gulped nervously.
“What happened back at the theatre, I... I would never have done that with anyone but you. And... um... I... I’ve been having these... these feelings for you for.... a while now. And... um... I...”, Five stammered out.
I had never seen Five as nervous as this. He never stuttered. For the past few days that I had known him he always was confident and sure of himself. I knew where this conversation was going and so I decided to make it a little easier for him by interrupting his stammering with a kiss.
At first Five was surprised and a little shocked but then he started to kiss back shyly. “I like you too and I would love to be your girlfriend”, I answered his silent question when we broke apart in need of air. Right then we heard wolf whistling and as we looked up we saw Klaus standing in the door frame.
“Shut up, Klaus!”, Five replied, back to his normal confident and sarcastic self before he turned back and kissed me passionately.
Klaus: Aw, come on! Give me a hug. For old times' sake.
Five: Old times are overrated.
A girl that feels out of place in her world and goes through a portal, only to stumble into a maternal figure, who takes her in. The girl relies on pieces of paper to do magic and survive. Made friends with the oddballs at a place of education. Has almost been dissected at least once.
Am I talking about Luz or Vee?
Just started watching The Umbrella Acedemy and I love it!
Not me "spoilering" myself for "The Umbrella Academy- season 3" because I needed to know if Klaus Hargreeves is dying or not. I cannot watch another one of my all time favorite comfort characters dying in front of my eyes! I am mentally not stable enough rn!!!
Umbrella Academy season 4:
I finished the entire season a few nights ago, so lets talk about some things;
I haven't checked in with the fandom in any way, but from most of the tiktoks i've seen, not many like this season. Completely understandable, makes sense, especially after seeing that weird (a lot of people used the word:) predatory relationship which went down between Five and Lila. I definitely did not see it coming, and though I don't find it predatory myself, as they are both consenting adults, since Five is in the body of an (i think) 20-something year old, but has the mind of an (if i remember right) 60/70 year old(?). I think how it happened can also be an excuse; they were trapped together for (what felt like to them) 7 years. Not to mention that Five had probably been lonely for some time now, and though Lila claimed that her marriage satisfied her, I really don't think it did.
This all however, is totally not an excuse for their behavior. Lila was married with three kids, and Five was the brother of her husband. They were in-laws, which does add to the weird pile.
The only thing I really enjoyed about their "hang", was their travels through all the different timelines. And now we have another academy (The Phoenix Academy), that's just a fun thought. I would have loved to see an episode where they explored the different timelines with different academies.
In other news: I love Luther.
I'm sorry, but I just do. I think the way he desperately tries to keep everything together when it comes to their family is commendable. In previous season, I always hated how he excused Reggie's behavior, but now that he's left that behind and focuses solely on his siblings instead is adorable. Both and he and Allison have given up on the whole incestuous relationship they had, and now they don't even mention it nor acknowledge it. Though normally I would say that that's not a healthy way to deal, I think it's actually better to just leave it all be.
Yes, I know he's kind of pathetic. Yes, I know he is also somewhat selfish. No, I do not care. He's trying very hard to be cool older brother Luther and cool uncle Luther. I think his whole descent into sex work should have been talked about in a better way, but somehow he always brought it up as a thing he enjoys doing? I'm not going to go into prolematic things that the writers have been doing, but this is definitely one of them. There's nothing consensual about sex work, and it should never be shown as something that one might enjoy doing.
This is one of the first actual seasons, however, where we get to witness Diego doing his thing! (I know we've seen him do some other tricks, but they never been this detailed.) I was so shocked to see him do his little spin in the air to redirect the bullets during the second episode, but I was disappointed to see that Lila did NOT care.
Talking about Lila and Diego, did anybody else catch that one part in the first episode about how they basically had the twins accidentally? Diego explains to Luther that though he loves Lila and his kids, he feels exhausted and not at all satisfied. Then he explaines that they had the twins through Lila telling him that since she was breastfeeding, she couldn't get pregnant. It's unclear now if they were both mistaken, but just the way he was talking about it, it felt like to me that he felt betrayed by Lila. I'm pretty sure that Lila was aware that she could still get pregnant, she just knew that she wouldn't be able to convince Diego, so instead she did this.
Viktor is as cool as ever. He's always been very cool, but thinking back to all other old (pre-transition) Elliot Page roles, its so noticiable how uncomfortable he was in his body, and getting to see him now, playing a male character, whos not only accepted by his siblings but Reggie too?! Amazing. And him bonding with Reggie? Delicious, I ate that right up. Reggie calling him "boy" (and other masculine nicknames)? Love, love, love.
This is one point for the writers and Netflix, this is exactly how Hollywood should handle an actor coming out, and I hope that this will be an example for future media that will feature transgender actors in the middle of transitioning.
Klaus is our little weirdo who DESERVES a break. He needs it. Please.
We get to see him clean this season, but I did not expect him to behave like this while off drugs. Honestly, I'm not sure I expected anything. I guess I kind of just thought he'd do drugs anyway? Or that he'd get clean but still behave somewhat the same way.
Poor Klaus was also a character subjected to sex work this season, it just made a bit more sense this time. He definitely did not enjoy it, that was something they made very obvious, but they still couldn't do it just right. It was awful watching him have to make a choice between getting money to pay off his debt and leave or a sole condom for "dealing" with costumers. They didn't make it obvious how many clients he really had, but through dialog, you could kind of guess that he had way more than the one girl whose money he tried stealing.
I loved seeing his relationship with Allison this season. And I loved his relationship with Claire even more. I felt the scene where he went home to rob Allison's place so he could get money to buy drugs was realistic, but since I've never had any experiences with addiction of that kind, I won't speak on it.
The villains of the season were kind of nothing if I'm being honest. I loved their sense of style, but other than that they were basic, text-book style villains, who were mostly around to just help the story along. They weren't too memorable, but neither was Reggie's wife? Partner? I'm not sure who she was, or if she counts as a villain or not? I didn't really understand her role, but I did like how she treated the siblings the first time they met.
Then there is Ben and Jennifer.
I feel like we never really made Ben an official part of the siblings, even though he is supposed to be. His relationship with Jennifer was very cute, but once again, it was not too memorable, even though it was supposed to be the main story of the entire season. I find it weird how it all looks unplanned while also being completely planned? Like, you'd assume that ever since season 1, this has always been the story of Ben's death, and yet it still feels like it just wasn't? It feels like they were putting this whole thing together blindly, and then someone thought of the right thing and that was what made it all make sense.
And I don't like how things with Jennifer went unexplained! What does that fucking squid have to do with anything???
But anyway, other than all that, this season was a very basic example of a Netflix series. It was entertaining but not deep. It was a good watch, but I don't think I could ever do a re-watch. I think it was overall, just nice.
So I was listening to Madds Buckley’s ‘Sunset on Summerville’ Album about MHA and couldn’t help but notice that a lot of the songs could fit Umbrella Academy characters. I wrote this in like five minutes so it may be a bit jumbled but I hope you enjoyed.
One/Luther to me is Scotch Tape and Cellophane. The first verse when taken at face value is frustrated with the stickiness of the tape, forcing the singer to suffer while unwrapping the gift. I thought of this like the struggle of Luther and Reginald. Everything Reginald did stuck to Luther and even though his intentions were clear, he wanted his kids to suffer and Luther to be hidden away from the world. The rest of the song is more silly and loving, which shows the character growth Luther went through. He started as a leader type but grew into a very silly and loving character and the transition is mirrored in the song.
Two/Diego would be Little Big Boy. I originally thought that this would fit Five but listening to the song more and more made me change my opinion. Diego has this need to be seen, a need to prove himself. This is shown in his conflict with Luther and his vigilantism. He’s so determined to show everyone that he is the best, due to the fact that he feels as though he is a small fish in the metaphorical pond. The metaphor for water also fits with him since his power in the comics is breathing underwater but that’s less relevant to the comparison. He always wants something out of his reach, something bigger than him, saving JFK, being Number One in the Umbrella Academy. His desperation to prove himself makes him seem like a child vying for the approval of his father even well into adulthood, hence the ‘Little Big Boy.”
Three/Allison is Ambrosia Wine; she can give pleasure or pain, she can rumor someone to shoot themselves, but also to fall in love with her. Her power is quite literally giving people temptations and making them give into them. She is also known by many names and epithets due to her acting career. You cannot deny her, she is quite literally an urge you cannot ignore. This comparison is pretty self explanatory but it’s cool to draw it anyway.
Four/Klaus is Hawk in The Night. This one is more of a broad commentary of how Reginald wanted him to be. Hargreaves wanted Klaus to be powerful, to be obedient. The song is sung from the perspective of someone telling Hawks about how they are happy how he lost himself in his training and childhood, likely his handler. While Klaus didn’t meet the expectations set for him, he lost himself in drugs. The phrase ‘we raised you right’ comes up many times and it shows the self righteousness felt by both Hargreaves and the Commission. Reginald wanted to train Klaus so that he had the potential to be Number One and in doing so caused Klaus to lose his childhood and to shove down himself, desperately clawing at the world that wronged him. Hargreaves wanted him to be empty and emotionless, obedient like One was, and in doing so raised him ‘right,’ with days in the Mausoleum and traumatizing him so much that he had to turn to drugs and not tell anyone he was struggling because both him and Reginald had so much pride.
Five would be Child of Ashes. The warped sound of the song highlights the fact that he’s so much that his mind is a bit twisted. He is a child of ashes and without a home, raised in the apocalypse where his only company was burned buildings and the memory of his dead siblings. The song can also be seen as the manipulatings of the Handler. Telling him that his family won’t care for him now that he’s killed so many, and that he would be better off staying with them. The last line ‘We can watch the world decay,’ only reinforces this. The Handler wants him to stay and watch as his family dies again, in the same inevitable way. He has nowhere to run, his only home for so long was the ashes of the world’s end. The song is only about a minute and a half long so there isn’t much to analyze but it’s sad in its brevity.
Six/Ben is Sunset On Summerville. The sun is brought up again and again, a metaphor for life, the sunset and night being its opposite death. Ben is waiting for Klaus to realize that life is worth living, waiting with him. He is in twilight, the area between life and death, and everyday he is being called to the beyond, but he won’t give up on Klaus. The moon, or death indeed casts a cold light, we see this in the other ghosts that Klaus interacts with, it is so easy to give in to the despair but Ben finds comfort in his brother, the moons frigidity ‘only lasts the night’ but Klaus is there, a warmth or a beacon, a light like the sun of life. This reminds Ben that waiting is worth it. Waiting for Klaus to get sober, to stop being scared of his own power. While Ben longs to live again, he accepts the fact that he can’t, but seeing his siblings live and grow is enough for him to evade the cold embrace of death totally.
Seven/Viktor is Reach. This is actually what got me thinking of this whole thing. He is jealous of his siblings, she wants the spotlight they have. He wants the powers, the acknowledgment from their father. He works so hard, becoming exceptional at the violin, but it is impossible to become exceptional in the eyes of Reginald. He is constantly asking himself what he is doing wrong and when it will be his turn to be in the spotlight. He writes his book to try and lash out and get that spotlight, but instead it makes everyone shun him. He wants his life to be easy, while reaching for something he thinks is out of his grasp. He is left behind, his siblings have training, missions, but he has isolation and his violin. He is bitter, and in Season 1 this is very apparent. He harbors so much anger and frustration that it overflows into all of his actions. Also, fun little factoid, during the line ‘Why can’t I excel at something…like you’ like you is repeated six times, six times for his six other siblings who have powers.
If I had talents in creating edits or art I would make videos of these characters to these songs but alas. Hope this makes sense!
FUCK I MISS FIVE SO DAMN MUCH
