This Is So Me When I Cook I Am So Shadow The Hedgehog I Literally Just Had Chicken Ramen W Fried Eggs

this is so me when i cook i am so shadow the hedgehog i literally just had chicken ramen w fried eggs and cold hot dog and red pepper flakes IT WAS REALLY GOOD even tho i slightly overcooked the egg :( but whatever GRRRAAHHHHHH SHADOW AND AMY SUPREMACY!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

thing from earlier this month

We don’t tend to get missionaries anymore!

The funniest thing to me about christian casual missionary types is how they think that they can like. Trick you into believing in god or something. If you put a Jesus pamphlet inside an envelope and then hand write my name and address on it to trick me into opening it, I'll be like ah fuck! they got me! I gotta believe in God now damn... I mean darn

wait. leg insurance?

Yup! Leg insurance!

This has Vivian written all over it

via

Oh just wait until the 23rd century, y’all figure out some REAL tasty poisons then

"Isn't it weird that [thing humans commonly eat] is poisonous to literally every domesticated animal" I mean, there's a pretty good chance that [thing humans commonly eat] is at least mildly poisonous to humans, too. One of our quirks as a species is that we think our food is bland if it doesn't have enough poison in it.

gun commander abraham towers has a condition in his eyeballs called heterosexual

post this old man with considerable delay