This Is So Me When I Cook I Am So Shadow The Hedgehog I Literally Just Had Chicken Ramen W Fried Eggs

this is so me when i cook i am so shadow the hedgehog i literally just had chicken ramen w fried eggs and cold hot dog and red pepper flakes IT WAS REALLY GOOD even tho i slightly overcooked the egg :( but whatever GRRRAAHHHHHH SHADOW AND AMY SUPREMACY!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

thing from earlier this month

every time

We don’t tend to get missionaries anymore!

The funniest thing to me about christian casual missionary types is how they think that they can like. Trick you into believing in god or something. If you put a Jesus pamphlet inside an envelope and then hand write my name and address on it to trick me into opening it, I'll be like ah fuck! they got me! I gotta believe in God now damn... I mean darn

This has Vivian written all over it

via

Okay so what you need to do when you feel doomed by the narrative like OP is set yourself up as the leader of a faction which will violently oppose the one your kid’ll end up joining. It’ll cause a lot of drama, but you’ll stay alive for longer, and only maybe get corrupted by whatever magical/ultra-scientific energy you’re working with

my kid keeps saying shit like i love you momy we'll always be together and i just know i am going to die for narrative reasons soon

zzzz