Zzzz

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wait. leg insurance?

Yup! Leg insurance!

Our mimics act a lot like haunted objects to new people, but really, they’re perfectly domesticated

i think more haunted houses should have haunted clawfoot bathtubs that move and exist as separate, distinct demonically possessed entities 

Oh just wait until the 23rd century, y’all figure out some REAL tasty poisons then

"Isn't it weird that [thing humans commonly eat] is poisonous to literally every domesticated animal" I mean, there's a pretty good chance that [thing humans commonly eat] is at least mildly poisonous to humans, too. One of our quirks as a species is that we think our food is bland if it doesn't have enough poison in it.

im listening to the little snail in my ear it calls to me for shadamy it needs shadamy GRRRAAHHH oh my god HNNGGG also yes im here to fuck up everyone's dash and fill it with sonic this is my dastardly plan

hands you them gently* look please

every time