MORE AU IDEAS

MORE AU IDEAS

• “My stupid friends roped me into a mall scavenger hunt and you’re on the list” AU • “We both wanted to rent a bike for an hour but the only one they have is a tandem bike” AU • “You’re adopting the cat that I’ve been trying to adopt for a week now” AU • “You just moved into the house next to my mom’s and she has you doing her yardwork” AU • “I’m on a terrible date and you’re my waitor please help me” AU • “My brother/sister asked me to break up with you for them i’m so sorry” AU • “I’ve been receiving all your freaking mail since you moved out and you keep getting weird gifts from your brother make it stop” AU • “Our dick landlord just evicted us both” AU • “We both just moved in with our siblings and they’re neighbors” AU • “I’m your neighbor and I can hear you fucking someone who shares my name” AU • “Your cat got my cat pregnant and now I have all these kittens please take them” AU • “I’m your ex, you are a cop, and I just got arrested for being drunk and disorderly” AU • “Remember that one time in college when we were at that party and you asked a random stranger to pretend to be your boyfriend/girlfriend? Yeah well that was me and we’re adults now” AU • “You’re sort of famous and we vaguely know each other through bumping into each other all the time but the media thinks we’re dating” AU • “You’re a cop, I’m a firefighter, we always work the same shifts” AU • “You always ask me for help but I have weird health conditions that prevent me from doing so” AU • “Your roommate cheated on me and I just threw your laptop out the window thinking it was his” AU • “My kid just shot a bottle rocket into your window” AU • “We’re both in the vegetable isle and I just burst into tears while staring at the cabbages” AU • “That’s my fucking fish that you just caught give it back” AU • “I’ve had a crush on you since the 11th grade but you’ve hated me ever since that one time” AU • “The advertisement did not do you justice” AU • “You jipped me of those concert tickets so I came to your house asshole” AU • “You think I’m nervous because you’re interviewing me for this high end job but actually it’s because you’re stupidly hot” AU • “Oh shit this isn’t my car” AU • “You fell off the map 6 years ago and you think you can just waltz back into my life. Literally. You’re the dance instructor for my best friend’s wedding and we have history” AU • “It’s 2am on the night of my 21st birthday and we gotta fix this fucking mess by morning or else we’re fucked ” AU • “My dad’s a cancer patient and you’re his nurse” AU • “Did I mention that I had a dream about you last night? Oh right we’ve never talked about before” AU • “Lol this was a terrible idea” AU • “juSt a game? jUST A GaMe????? FUCK YOU I WILL DO WHATEVER IT TAKES TO WIN” or the “so competitive it’s almost sexual” AU • “Aren’t you the person from marti gras last year?” AU • “We’re both on the same multiple stop flight schedules to go to the same destination so we might as well stick together. Also your shoulder is a very comfortable pillow.” AU • “Fuck you and your bee farm I’ve had enough” AU • “We’re in an exam study group and I just send you my nudes by accident oops” AU • “Somehow my gallery sculpture piece looks exactly like you how weird” AU • “That tattoo on your chest is the exact same as mine” AU • “I was actually awake when you did that thing” AU • “Why do we keep running into each other when we live on opposite sides of the country?” AU • “We need to be really quiet but you have the hiccups” AU • “Why do you always walk your dog at exactly 12am every night? Do you not enjoy sleep?” AU • “For the love of God, what is making that noise?” AU • “Somehow you manage to scare me everytime we run into each other and i already get frightened very easily let me live” AU

You’ve been faking your death for centuries to hide your immortality. Now, modern medicine is making things difficult.

Imagine being a human in an alien crew in space and leaving with bright blue or pink hair and the color fades and everybody on board wonders WHY you are losing your colors??? Is it the lack of greens? Are you sad? Angry? They just don’t know??

Cheat Sheets for Writing Body Language

We are always told to use body language in our writing. Sometimes, it’s easier said than written. I decided to create these cheat sheets to help you show a character’s state of mind. Obviously, a character may exhibit a number of these behaviours. For example, he may be shocked and angry, or shocked and happy. Use these combinations as needed.

by Amanda Patterson

100 Dialogue Prompts: Part 4

It’s amazing to see how much we can create together, my amigos. Here’s part 4.

“Look, I might be evil but even I have standards.”

“Do your parents know you’re dating Death?” “No, I promised we wouldn’t get back together after he broke up with me the first time.”

“Wait why am I naked and covered in cheese?”

“Good god, that cake is fuckin stale and dry mate!!” “Just like how you are recently? Gee, thanks.”

"There is always time for a high-five.”

“Karen, what would ever posses you to find me here.”

“Oh my god, put that man down! Come on, let’s go get you some REAL food.”

“A demonic sugar glider?”

“People always say they never thought they would be here but I absolutely did.”

“And I thought I was a bit weird. But you! You are insane!”

“So your hair knows kung-fu? Ha, that’s nothing! MY hair knows HAIR-ATE!” (You know, as in karate) (This used to be an insider between me and a friend…)

“One day, darling, you and I are going to conquer the Universe not just our world.”

“Did you seriously think they wouldn’t notice when their humans went missing?!”

“Well, maybe next time you should consider that not everyone wants to be woken up at four in the morning by a- what IS that, anyway?!”

“Now, how exactly did your foot get stuck in the barrel?”

“I hope you realize what you’re doing. This forest never ends, you know that, right?”

“You can’t just kill someone and then make it all better by saying sorry!”

“Why the fuck is my cat levitating?!” “He said he wanted to feel what flying was”

“You’re trying to tell me you killed three men…with a microphone?”

“Hang on, are you a John Wick fan?”

“IT’S TWO IN THE MORNING!” “And?” “ I have a strict no murder rule until eight. Call me then.”

“I did realize you were going to be naked the whole time”

“Ok, I understand you like animals, but you can’t just bring a tiger into the apparent without asking!”

“I…I didn’t want you to find out like this. I’m so sorry.”

“OH MY GOD CATHERINE! I JUST SAW A NARWHAL! I’M TELLING YOU, I SAW A FREAKIN’ WHALE UNICORN!”

“I gotta go, I left my toaster in the oven!

"Why is there a gaggle of fancy buisness men on my front lawn?”

“Can you please stop referring to me as ____! That’s not my name!” “Then what is?” “I don’t know!”

*Sarcastic* “Yeah, sure. I won’t at all mind being your footslave.” “Oh, goody! I knew you’d agree!” “Wait, what?”

“When are you going to give up on this whole ‘evil’ thing?” “When it stops being so much fun!”

“You didnt say to KILL the man!” “WELL I DIDNT SAY NOT TOO”

“Mum, Dad… I’m gay.” “That’s nice, honey, but now is not the right time!”

“Take a look at your soul and consider your life choices! Oh wait, that’s right! You don’t fucking have a soul!” “Oh, god, just go drown in a bathtub of syrup why don’t ya?”

“I kindly ask you to please quit making your heart stop. It’s creeping me out!” “So… Y-You were sleeping in a coffin” “Yeah I’m used to it” “Are you a vampire or what?! How can someone get used to sleep in a coffin?” “No I’m used to sleep I never said that I’m used to sleep in a freaking coffin!”

“Darling I love you, more than I can ever express in words…. But please stop teaching chickens necromancy.”

“I wanted to know why you stole souls, not your melodramatic backstory…”

“I really wish that old white man would stop rubbing his nipples at me”

“You know it is written: Do not summon Satan, right ?”

“Look around, what is this?” “My room?” “No, this is pathetic.”

“I’ve been a professor for 20 years, and yet still my greatest secret hasn’t been revealed–I can’t read.”

“Our souls don’t belong in these 'human’ bodies, every one of us is implanted here from another galaxy, and this has been the case for a thousand years. No one knows what 'actual humans’ are like without us inhabiting them.”

“Did you just create a portal in time and space to pull another version of yourself into this world so I have to deal with another annoying idiot?” “No but thanks for the idea.”

“You’re bleeding?!” “Nah, I’m frolicing in a field of flowers - yes I’m bleeding!”

“Let me get this straight. I tell you that I make a decent omelette and you somehow equate that to qualification for piloting a spaceship?”

“It’s the weekend! Let’s hit the town! See a concert, redo our wardrobes, get high, start a crime ring, I don’t know.”

“Keep running, you’ve only got 4HP!”

“This is clearly your first time. Stop screaming already, you’ll wake the neighbors!”

“Has anyone seen the outdoors?” “What the fuck is an outdoors?”

“Why do I feel like this again, I thought we were done with this?”

“Look, as much as I like to hang out with you, I’ve gotta go and save the earth. Toodles!”

“Have you seen?… oh shit”

“Two questions: one, how many matches do you have, and two, where do you keep your socks?”

“Because fuck surveys, that’s why!”

“Stop yelling out the window or the koalas will rip your face off!”

“I guess when I heard 'Night of Debauchery’… I didn’t picture muffins on your pajamas.”

“Honey, you can’t keep throwing people to the pit of pain and despair just because they don’t like choc mint ice cream.”

“Oh, no honey, put that back…”

“It’s going to be too late, you know. It’s always too late.”

“Hey, so, uh… I’m in trouble…” “What did you do this time?” “I got stranded in Wales….. again…”

“OK, but… how do we get the dog out of a hole in space in time exactly?”

“Aren’t people supposed to grow instead of shrink ?”

“Wait. You’re aroused?” “Why would that surprise you?” “It does on account of you being covered in blood. Wipe that smile off your face. You look like a cat in heat.”

"I pay your taxes”

“No, ____. We did not raise our hamster like this.”

“You can’t run from your own shadow(s), what makes you think you can run from theirs?”

“You adopted… a dog?” “Mate, that’s not a dog.”

“And at this moment, he decided to punch himself in the face.” “Narrator, listen, I know you’ve been with me my whole life, but you’re a huge jerk.”

“Why didn’t you tell me it was a portal BEFORE we ended up here?”

“Is that…the Mona Lisa.” “…Yes…” “What did I say to you about stealing priceless artifacts!?” “…That I had to take you with me next time.” “Exactly!”

“Yes, I agree, magic is pretty cool. But did you really have to use it for THIS?”

“Despite the fact that was epic, you’re still suspended”

“Chill, dad it’s not what you think it is!” “Well it looks like you’re making out with the demon your grandma banished to cellar…WHY IS HE IN YOUR ROOM?”

“If you truly love me you’ll let me-OH FUCKING HELL DID YOU JUST STAB ME!?”

“Spoon”

“What began as a conflict over the transfer of consciousness from flesh to machines escalated into a war which has decimated a Million worlds.The ___ and the ___ have all but exhausted the the resources of a galaxy in their struggle for domination. Both sides, now crippled beyond repair, the remnants of their armies continue to battle on ravaged planets, their hatred fueled by over four thousand years of total war. This is a fight to the death. For each side, the only acceptable outcome is…“

”… I’m going back to bed. You brought it here, you can deal with the mammoth yourself.“

"Is the food supposed to be moving?”

“You mean to tell me that in the two minutes I was gone,  you bombed a minor country,  got married to a stripper,  and assassinated a world leader?!”

“Is that a unicorn???? EATING MY BEEF JERKY?!”

“Do I get to dream about you again tonight?”

“Well now I have to change clothes AGAIN!”

“All of this was because of a… OF A PLUSHIE?!” “Well…Yeah?” “Great, how are we going to get out of jail now?!”

“So…you gonna tell me why my brother is upside down and why you’re wearing my purple thong?”

“Did you really have to burn down another Cracker Barrel?”

“Sir, that’s impossible, you can’t do that.” “IS THAT A FUCKING CHALLENGE?!?!”

“We need to invade Portugal.” “…Sure, why not?”

“Did you divide by zero?! YOU’RE GOING TO KILL US ALL”

“Stand down, Milady, this is a matter between gentlemen with mustaches.”

“Next time you get arrested I am NOT paying your bail” “That’s a lie and you know it.” “….”

“I thought you were dead.” “So did I”

“John dont flush the dog down the toilet”

“What did I say again about resurrecting dictators??”

“Cucumbers are NOT pets… what do you mean, you ate him??”

“Are you and God seriously fighting right now? And what happened to Satan?”

“Are ferrets supposed to be blue??”

“I’m the protagonist? Well I guess that explains why I look like about a thousand other people.”

“Why do I do this to myself?”

“Stop eating your tortilla chips with ketchup. It’s unattractive.”

“How do you eat an entire cheese wheel in one sitting?”

“Why are God and Satan moving in with us?”

Let’s make one more ‘100 Dialogue Prompts’ list together. Leave a comment with your prompt below. Don’t forget the double quotes “”. And as always, only one prompt per amigo! Also, here is your random Dutch word of the day: pindakaas

A novel about a depressed superhero who just can get out of their apartment to help anyone. So crime rises and people die, and the hero can’t find it in them to care. And all the news wants to know is where did their hero go? Why has the hero abandoned them? The hero doesn’t know, but a barely there villain does. So the villain reaches out to the hero and offers the hero their company, because they know what it’s like to be so depressed you can barely get out of bed to go to the bathroom; they’ve been there before. Normally the hero would frown at hanging out with a villain, but since they don’t care about anything right now, they don’t oppose the idea. So the villain starts visiting the hero regularly; making the hero meals, helping the hero clean the apartment, and just watching Netflix with the hero until they both fall asleep. They become friends, and slowly the hero starts to get better and able to do more things. The hero starts therapy and even saves a couple people here and there. And all the while, the villain is right there with them, helping them along the way (though they’re still a villain and that’s not changing). And eventually the hero asks the villain to move in with them because they can’t picture their life without the villain, but it’s not romantic in anyway whatsoever. They become permanent roommates and best friends and maybe, just maybe, they adopt a dog together.