We Know That The Statements In TMA Canon That Are True Refuse To Upload In Canon, But I Feel Like People

We know that the statements in TMA canon that are true refuse to upload in canon, but I feel like people don’t talk about the not-true, on the institutes files statements.

Like imagine your some uni student who has to listen to a man tell a crackheads nightmare in the most monotone, annoyed, deadpan voice. You don’t even know why they are being recorded, but DAMN this “Jonathan Sims” guy sounds tired.

Also, if the digital statements get interrupted like the real ones do, and they don’t edit them out, I bet some people feel like their watching an office comedy when partway through the statement Martin brings Jon tea nervously, and Jon turns down a trip to the pub for the 60th time.

Also, imagine people seeing that Job got arrested on the news? Like that’s batshit crazy. Sure he’s been seeming a bit more… unstable in recent statements, people talking about shit you have NO IDEA is happening.

Just imagine TMA but you get all the moments that aren’t recorded with literally NONE of the context.

Jon later sends Martin a wikihow article on how to write halfway decent poetry

chapter 29 is now up!

I wrote a TMA fic!

In which our Jmart are magically transported to a Sasha!Archivist alternate universe. I actually have plans for a very nice plot, so I’ll be posting new chapters on here as well.

Lesbians will see Jonathan Sims, Head Archivist of the Magnus Institute, London, and think is anybody going to hit that

I know Jon acknowledges this but it’s funny to me that A Guest for Mr. Spider is just genuinely the LEAST credible statement out of all 81 we’ve heard so far.

Like okay, Mr. Statement Giver, you were a very young child, and you just read a spooky children’s book, and your childhood bully stole it from you. And you’re oh-so convinced that the way your bully walked off was because the book’s monster was calling him and the house he went into belonged to the book’s monster and the monster got him the end.

No one else who can corroborate any events. No evidence whatsoever. A hearsay statement from childhood that sounds like a normal interaction played-up by the imagination of a scared kid frightened by his scary book.

The only evidence in Jon’s favor is the fact that the book was a Leitner. But that’s basically tautological. The only reason Jon was lending extra credibility to Leitner-book statements is BECAUSE of his encounter with A Guest for Mr. Spider.

The absolutel audacity of Mr. Jonathan Archivist Sims to show up with not just AN unverifiable statement, but the MOST unverifiable statement to date. Statement ends.

he's actually a good fish dad