The Only Exception Is Johnny Knoxville

the only exception is johnny knoxville 🎀

I think men should stop referring to themselves as daddy in the third person and just explode and die instead

my target audience 💋

the reason i love tumblr so much is because there are so many insane, alienated , delusional silly little teenage girls who are obsessed with lana del rey and fashion just like me that validate my existence as a crazy b!tch

// Fuck It I Love You • Finale //

❥༄ I was a whimpering mess, all of a sudden, we heard a door open. i jumped off of him and went to the other side of the couch, covering my entire body to hide my neck, wes fixed his hair and shirt and was staring intensely at the tv. a squinty eyes fred walked in front of us. "what are you guys doing?" i looked at wes, he turned to me, then fred. "well you didn't give me a blanket or pillow so y/n brought me some, and her favorite show is on so we've just been watching it." fred gave me and wes am unconvinced look then shrugged. "whatever. i came to get water so goodnight losers." he grabbed a bottle then retreated back to his room. i turned to wes wibt big eyes and a nervous smile. "close call." he said while having the same smile as me. "yeah." i got up from my position. "well i should probably head to bed, i've got school tomorrow." "yeah that's a good idea." he spoke, he had a bit of a sad look on his face though. i walked to the side of him and kissed his temple. "goodnight wes." he looked at me with a goofy grin. "goodnight y/n. don't let the bed bugs bite." i laughed and pushed his head away. he was such a dork sometimes.

authors note: IM SORRY FOR NO SMUT GUYS IDK HOW TO WRITE ITTT also the story had to be split up bc part 2 exceeded the character limit lol

the hardest parts about writing fics is how long i make them >.< ! but anyways new reese wilkerson fic coming saturday <3

toxic! Tom Kaulitz x reader

TW: mentions of toxic behavior and alcohol

as we all know, he's a womanizer for sure

anytime you go on tour w him there's a bunch of girls crowding the bus yelling his name

once one of them threw her bra at him n you got pissed n started cussing her out

it got really escalated and bill n gustav had to hold you back

tom thought it was hot tho n made sure the girl knew that he was yours by giving you a kiss on the head after

"you looked so cool! like a hot WWE girl"

you were still insanely mad but couldn't help but laugh at that

he's always slightly flirty at meet and greets and when you confront him, he tries to play it off w "but babe you're my actual girlfriend. they're just some fans." and ngl, it works.

you know when he goes to the club w bill,georg, and gustav he cheats on you but no one's ever admitted it

you caught him in the act once when bill asked if you could pick them up

you felt so sick and disgusted but still gave them a ride home obv

he tried cuddling w you that same night saying that he loved you sm n that you're the only who gets him

you just sat there emotionless. he didn't even know that you saw him

when you guys fight it's messy

yelling, screaming, accusations. all of it

normally one of you storms out.

but you can't help but go back

with the thousand dollar presents, the sweet words he says in his apologies tugging at your heart, and the way he looks at you, how could you not?

he's also extremely possesvie and jealous which is so ironic

anytime he sees you talking to any guy that's not georg, bill, or gustav, he instantly goes right by your side n waits till you introduce him

won't let you go anywhere alone. sometimes it's cute, other times it's super annoying

on the rare occasion you go to a party w him, he's always got his eyes on you

depending on what he drank that night, he'll be really sappy n affectionate

he'll just go on and on about how he's so grateful for you n how he dosent know why or how you stay w him

sometimes you wonder the same

but when he protects and saves you from all the bad things in your life, n makes you feel like the only girl in the world, you remember why.

also that makeup sex >>

yall i've been binging jersey shore n ronni n sammi are annoying me SO MUCH but they're so real 😔 so this "fic" is inspired by their relationship on the show lol

// say yes to heaven //

johnny knoxville x reader

authors note: Johnny goes by PJ, some things might be innacurate apologies in advance, mentions of homophobic slurs (i can say it)

❥༄ It's a warm july evening, the sunset sky looks like cotton candy, the kids are still out playing, and me and pj are on the steps of his trailer drinking some cold beers. i've known pj ever since me n my mom first moved to Tennesse at age 5. i ponder back on that moment, the memory still fresh in my mind.

❥༄ "y/n! get your boxes from the back of the uhaul girl!" my mother shouted. i sighed and made my way from the empty field to the back of the van we came in while my mother put her belongings inside our new home. a boy around my age with dark chocolate hair, warm brown eyes, and a horrendous haircut came up to me. "are you my new neighbors?" he asked enthusiastically. i nodded shyly. "cool! i'm pj by the way. my trailers right there." i glanced over to where he was pointing. i noticed a brown trailer with white stripes, white steps, and various beer cans and cigarette butts littering the patch of grass in front. i turned back to him and introduced myself back. "my names y/n. my parents divorced so we moved here." "mine are divorced too! wanna be friends?" we've been inseparable ever since.

❥༄ i set down my can with a sigh and put my hands in my hair. i've lived in the same trailer ever since, things never really got better for me and my mom. i started working at the local jcpennys working the beauty department but that's it, and Pjs been working with his dad at his auto repair shop ever since we were 13. pj turned to look at me, his brows furrowed and his eyes fixated on me. "what's troublin' you doll?" i picked my head up with a sad smile. i loved when he called me that. "whens it gonna get better peej?" i let out a dry chuckle. "i mean are we just gonna stay in this town our whole lives? living pay check to pay check?" he huffed and turned away from me. "i don't know y/n...why are you bringing this up?" "because i don't want that to be my life pj. maybe it was good for our parents but...don't you want different?" he took another sip from his can and a long drag from his cigarette and was quiet for a while. "of course i want different but it's not that simple y/n...plus the world needs workers like us and our parents anyway." i couldnt belive what he was saying. it was so out of character for him. he was never one to conform to society despite us growing up in the south where you'd get called a fag for just about anything. but people didn't care when it came to pj. he could be wearing a tutu and still look cool. that's why i didn't understand why he was giving up his future to stay in a town like this when the world had so much more to offer him, to offer us. "you know, i don't get you sometimes pj." i threw my can on the porch and sat up. "when are you gonna wake up y/n?" he shouted at me. i looked at him wint utter confusion painted on my face. he stared back at me with those piercing dark eyes. anytime i looked into them, it was like i was stuck in place, and like the rest of the world was no more, just me and pj. "w-what do you mean?" i spoke. he scoffed at me and continued, still shouting. "do you think it's that easy? that we can just leave this all behind and start a new life like that?" i huffed in frustration and crossed my arms, "that's not what i meant and you know it. i just meant that we both have dreams pj. what about your writing?" he turned away from me and shook his head, his eyes were even darker now due to his mood. i noticed there were imprints on his can due to his grip on it. "what about my writing y/n? you heard my dad." a while ago, pj shared with his dad his dreams of being a writer, and how he wanted to write for this magazine in LA, just to get his foot out the door. his dad didn't take it well at all and said he better get the wrench he asked for because writing won't pay the bills. i stayed quiet, not knowing what to say. pj got up to stomp his cigarette out. when he was done he locked eyes with me. he stared at me with such intensity, it made my knees buckle and my stomach flip. maybe it's a good thing he wore shades 99.9% of the time. i wanted nothing more than to reach out and hug him, let him know that anyone who doubted him didn't know what they were talking about. that me and him could make it on our own. but we were just friends. and he was even more stubborn drunk than he was sober. he turned to go inside then stopped. "you better get home y/n...it's getting dark." i felt the tears sting the corners of my eyes, like bees in the summer time. this wasn't the first time we fought like this, but it's the first time he didn't invite me in afterwards. usually he'd say something along the lines of sorry, or how he has some left over apple pie he needs help eating, really he would say any excuse. but this time, it was like he wanted nothing to do with me. "you're a coward philip and you know it." i shouted. "you have just as much potential as anyone else in this world to do something great, but you're scared!" he stayed with his back towards me, his fists clenched and his head low. "leave y/n."

❥༄ i stared at him until my vision became blurry with tears, which didn't take long. i've always been emotional. i ran away from him, in the direction of our old elementary. i always went there when things became too much to handle and i just needed somewhere to escape to. once i got there i sat on the old rusty swings that squeaked each time you swayed. i felt like shit. maybe i was too hard on pj. it's just that all i wanted was for me and him to have a good future. maybe the reason why i got so mad was because i imagined our futures would be us as lovers, not best friends. i wish i brought one of those beers before i left. i heard rustling coming from my left side and when i turned to look, i saw pj. i turned away and stared at the ground. it was quiet for a while while he sat on the swing beside me. "i'm sorry doll. i didn't mean to yell at you like that, you know how i get when i drink coors." i began to sob as i spoke, "no peej i'm sorry, i was too hard on you." i put my head in my hands and hid my face. pjs eyes scrunched up as he began laughing at me. "oh come on y/n, no need to bring out the water works. we're all good girl" he moved his hand and began rubbing my back. i sniffled and picked my head up, turning to him with a small smile that he returned.

❥༄ it was like that for a while. just me and pj swaying back and forth, till he spoke up. "you know i'm not a coward y/n..." i faced him and frantically began explaining myself. "i know pj i'm sorry it's j-" he cut me off. "the only reason why i'm not doing what i want is because... i wanna keep you close to me." i stayed staring at him. my eyes wider than usual, and my lips tucked between my teeth. "the magazine i wanna write for is based in LA. that means i would have to move there." i remained quiet. he turned to look at me. "come on y/n say some-" it was probably the alcohol more than me, but out of no where, i decided to kiss him. his lips were warm snd soft, i could still taste the cigarettes and coors on his breath. i felt euphoric and nauseous all at once. i pulled away awkwardly and faced him. "i'm sorry peej, i don't know-" he cupped the side of my face and pulled me in for a second kiss. after a minute we pulled away, but we were stuck staring at eachother, like one would disappear if the other dared to look away. "i'll go with you." i spoke, barely above a whisper. pj scrunched his face in confusion. "pardon?" i rolled my eyes at him. sometimes he was such an airhead. "i'll go with you to LA. just say the word and i'll go pj." he stared at me with a goofy crooked smile and picked me up from the swing. i squealed as he threw me over his shoulder. "let's start packing then. we'll get the first flight out as soon as we're done." even though i was upside down and felt dizzy, i couldn't be happier.