This Isn't Important In The Slightest, But I'm Proud To Say That I Finally Have A Name For My Turt-sona!

This isn't important in the slightest, but I'm proud to say that I finally have a name for my turt-sona!

Regiomontanus

Why?

Fits with the "famous Renaissance figure" theme naming of the other turtles (I could have gone the Jennika route and just used a modern human name, but that's not my style.)

Has MANY possible nicknames with varying gender expressions (Reggie, Regina, Gigi, Gio, Monty, etc.)

The IRL Regiomontanus was known for his contributions to astronomy, the field in which I wish to eventually have a career.

He was also German. I'm an American mutt, but a good chunk of my maternal ancestry is German.

So yeah. That's all.

Incorrect Quotes Generator Shenanigans: Part 5

Leo: I'm so tired of this life. I want to be a roomba. I want knives taped to me. And I want to be set loose.

~

Mikey: I'm gonna need a human skull but you can't ask why. Donnie: Only if you also don't ask why. Donnie: *pulls four pristine human skulls out of their bag* Mikey: ... Mikey, grabbing a skull: This one will do.

~

Raph: I have very high standards, you know. Big Mama: I can make spaghetti... Raph: Oh no! You're meeting all my standards!

~

Draxum: What are you writing? April: The government wants to know what kind of weapons we have in the house. I'm letting them know it's private information. Splinter, looking over April's shoulder: This just says 'fuck around and find out' in calligraphy.

~

*Foot Lieutenant dies in a game with ships* Cassandra: This ship is no longer a ship of love, it's a ship of vengeance, a gavel of justice against all that is wrong in the world, showing no mercy, as no mercy was shown to us. Cassandra: The spark of love will now fuel the fires of destructive glory as I wage my war across the world with righteous fury. Foot Brute: Legend has it that Foot Lieutenant still haunts the ship, stealing my fucking drinks. Foot Lieutenant: Of course I do.

~

Piel: Every zoo is a petting zoo unless you’re a coward. Hueso: I’m worried about you.

~

Draxum: Who else is hiding in the laundry room trying to listen to Leo and Raph's convo? Splinter: Me. I'm in the laundry basket. Donnie: I'm in the washing machine. Mikey: I'm in the closet. Splinter: We accept you Mikey. <3 Mikey: No I'm literally in the closet. Splinter: Love is love. <3

~ Todd: HELP! I TOLD CASSANDRA I'D COOK DINNER TONIGHT BUT I CAN'T COOK! Casey II, pouring milk directly into the cereal bag: And you thought I could help?

Thomas had never seen such carnage before.

So, how has everyone's week been going?

If it's been bad, don't worry. I'm right there with you. I've basically been swinging between these two states:

Man, I wish my responses to stress were actually productive. :(

Casual Aro-spec and A-spec Erasure 🙃

So, I was visiting a gallery in my home city, and they had some interesting items for sale. One of them was a neat-looking postcard from 1920s France that said "Bonne Année" (French for "Happy New Year"), and I wanted to buy it. The seller made some remark about how it will "attract my lover to me," I guess since it has a romantic picture on it. When I said that I only really want dogs in my life, she said that I'd eventually change my mind.

Then she told the cashier. They joked about it a bit, then started to put everything together so I could pay for the postcard.

I tried to just stay quiet and move on; I didn't want to cause trouble, especially since the seller knows one of my aunts. We talked about other things for a while, but then she brought it up again, unprompted. She said that I'd meet a man who's interested in the same things I am, and we'd connect. I said that I'd ideally just be friends with this hypothetical man, but she laughed it off and said once again that I'd change my mind.

So yeah. That was annoying. I know she didn't mean serious harm; she was very sweet and friendly to me otherwise, and she even gave me a 44% discount on the postcard when I went to buy it just for the heck of it. But man, I wish romance and physical attraction weren't always assumed to be parts of everyone's lives.

New Life, New Name

I just wanted to write a proper origin story for Regiomontanus. It won't be the best thing ever; I'm running on ~30 minutes of sleep, and fanfiction isn't my strong suit anyway. But hey, it sounds like fun. :)

~

It was supposed to be a fun day at the local aquarium. They had recently rescued an adorable green sea turtle, and it was finally being brought out on exhibit. They were even holding a little "meet and greet" so the children could get acquainted with it. Of course, the event didn't just appeal to children. People of all ages came to meet this turtle.

One such person was Grizzly, an awkward but ultimately innocuous local.

Grizzly had wished to bring their mother to the aquarium for this event, but she was occupied with tasks for work, so they went alone, promising to take pictures. They were ecstatic. They had always loved marine life; they were obsessed with dolphins as a child, but they'd eventually learned to appreciate all the creatures in the ocean. The zookeepers were allowing select guests to feed the turtle. Grizzly had never been chosen for these sorts of things, but perhaps today would be different.

Indeed, it was.

Of the five patrons chosen to feed the turtle, Grizzly was the fourth. They trembled with both excitement and fear. Their mind was racing. Holy crap, they picked me! But what if I mess up? That's stupid. You're just using tongs to move the seagrass from the bucket to the water. I'll probably find a way, though. Regardless of their worries, they would try their best to perform well. They had to. Dozens of people were watching.

Things went well at first. The grass stayed nicely in the tongs, and the turtle seemed enthusiastic to eat. However, its enthusiasm was a bit excessive; once it finished eating the grass, it went straight for Grizzly's hand. They didn't have time to react, so they received a nasty bite to the index finger. What did I tell you? WHAT DID I TELL YOU? Frightened and embarrassed, they sprinted away from the crowd, out the door, and into an empty alleyway. Finally out of the public eye, they allowed themself to break down crying. Their eyes burned as the tears streaked down their face. Their head pounded with a stress headache. They reflexively tugged at their jacket sleeve, unintentionally scratching their arm as if to fuel the pain. Even their neck ached with a sudden pinch. A sudden, searing pinch.

Wait, that wasn't right.

The blazing sensation in Grizzly's neck quickly spread throughout their entire body. They winced as their skin began to itch like the worst sunburn they'd ever had, especially around their scalp. They grunted with discomfort, then squeezed their eyes shut and screamed in agony as their fingers and toes tensed up uncontrollably. This strange attack on their body lasted only seconds, but it seemed to persist for years.

When they finally found the strength to open their eyes once more, they found that their skin had turned chartreuse. There were deep brown, oblong marks on their hands--their now webbed, three-fingered hands; a quick peek under their sleeve revealed more markings extending halfway up their arm. They glanced downward and saw their hair laying in piles around their feet. They screamed with terror, feeling their head to confirm that they were, indeed, bald. Despite their pure confusion and fear, they had only one instinct at this point.

Call Mom.

Thankfully, after a few rings, Grizzly's mother picked up.

"Hello?"

"Mom, I need help! I don't know what the heck is going on, but all my hair fell out, and my skin is green, and I only have three fingers now--!!"

"Wait, honey, slow down. What's going on? Are you hurt?"

"That's the thing! I don't know! I hurt really bad before, but I feel a little better now...! Except for, you know, LOOKING LIKE A FREAK!!!"

"Okay, okay. Well, come home so Dad and I can see what's going on. We'll take you to the hospital if it's really as bad as what you're saying."

"O-okay... I'll see you soon. I love you."

"I love you, too. Bye."

"Bye."

Grizzly dashed back to the aquarium parking lot, slipped into their car, and drove home. Their mother was shocked when she saw her poor child; their father was similarly devastated, yelling uncontrollably. They all immediately drove to the local hospital, only to be referred to a dermatologist in New York City. Great. New York wasn't far away in the grand scheme of things, but it was still inconvenient. Well, whatever. If that's what it takes to go back to normal, then so be it.

~

As Grizzly searched for the dermatologist's office, they bumped into someone. That was to be expected. It was crowded, and they weren't watching their step. They looked forward and went to apologize, only to choke on their words. The individual in front of them was huge--not as tall as their father, but beefy. To say that they were intimidated would be an understatement. However, the other person looked similarly surprised...and similarly green, if the arms poking out from his gray hoodie were anything to go off of.

"So, uh... Are you looking for the dermatologist, too?"

Great. Just great. You've done it again. Amazing social skills.

"No," he said with a chuckle. "I'm just out for a walk."

"Oh, okay. That sounds much more fun than what I'm doing. See, this happened to me, like, a week ago--" they explained, holding out a three-fingered hand.

The strange man gasped, then pulled them into a nearby alley.

"Hey, what gives?! Let me go!!"

"I think...we might have some stuff in common"

He pulled down his hood to reveal his face. Said face had a lime green complexion to match his arms, with a red bandana over his eyes that provided a nice contrast. He also had a sharp tooth sticking out from the right corner of his mouth.

"No way... No freakin' way...! I'm not alone! I'm not the only one with this crazy skin condition!!!"

"...Were you in close contact with any turtles lately?"

"...Yeah. Yeah, one bit me. Why?"

"And did you see any weird-looking bugs flying around you after that?"

"No...but it kind of felt like a mosquito bit me on the neck... and then immediately afterward, this whole mess happened... Do...do turtles and bugs cause this?"

"...Kind of. Hey, uh, I have some brothers who are also familiar with this sort of thing. Wanna meet up with them so we can all talk about this?"

"Sure. Just let me call my mom so she knows where I am."

"Got it. I'll call my brothers, too, so we can decide where to meet."

After quick phone calls on both ends, Grizzly and their new companion waited at a nearby pizzeria for his brothers. They were easily recognizable once they arrived--all with varying shades of green skin, all with different-colored bandanas on their faces. They placed an order for a large pepperoni pizza, then got down to business.

"Wow, Raph, you weren't kidding! That's the real deal, alright!" exclaimed the fellow in blue.

Grizzly winced with embarrassment.

The one clad in orange immediately turned to them with an expression of both comfort and concern. "Oh, no, he isn't making fun of you," he said. "We're just surprised that there's someone else like us!"

"Well, the doctors at home did say that they haven't seen a case like me before..."

The one donning purple glanced up from his phone. "That's because you aren't sick," he claimed boldly.

"...I'm sorry, what?"

The first of the brothers, presumably called "Raph," looked on guiltily and took a deep breath. "I'm really sorry I didn't tell you earlier," he said, "but you don't have a skin condition. None of us do. We're mutant turtles--and now, you're a turtle mutant, too. That's why I asked that one question earlier."

"...No. No. You're joking. That's literally impossible. That's not how mutation works. If my cells had been mutated that much, I'd have cancer or something. Or...or..."

The purple one piped up again. "You'd be horribly deformed? Like now? Though I'd call it less of a deformity and more of an upgrade..."

"Donnie, I swear to Pizza Supreme in the Sky, I'll--!!!" Raph shouted, just barely able to cut himself off before he could say something regrettable.

"...Yeah... I...I guess..." Grizzly slumped in their seat, clutching both sides of their head. "Hooooooly crap, what do I do...?! I can't ever show my face in school again...! And forget having a job! At least my parents still love me, but I'll be a freak forever to LITERALLY EVERYONE ELSE!!!!"

The petite turtle in orange gave them a gentle pat on the shoulder. "Hey, not everyone else. You aren't a freak to us. Maybe we can be your friends--maybe even your brothers, if you want!" he suggested with a smile. "Then you might not feel so alone. I mean, you'll fit right in," he added, gesturing to his deep evergreen face for emphasis.

Though a bit uncertain, none of the others seemed actively opposed to the idea.

"W-well, I can't be your friend--or sibling--if I don't know your names..."

"Then we'll introduce ourselves. I'm Raphael, but you can call me Raph."

"Donatello--Donnie for short."

"I'm Michelangelo, or Mikey, or Michael, or Angelo. Whatever you prefer."

"And I'm Leonardo, but please, call me Leo. And you are...?"

"Well, I'm Grizzly...but honestly, I don't feel like Grizzly anymore. That's who I used to be, who I was when I wasn't...this..."

Leo gave a sly smile. "Hey, new life, new name. Who do you feel like now?"

"I dunno... If I'm going to be your sibling, then I want my name to match the theme you've got going on--Renaissance artists and inventors."

Donnie nodded in approval.

After a few minutes of scrolling on their phone, the sea turtle mutant found a new name that stood out to them:

Regiomontanus.

With a new addition to the family, the turtle siblings happily dug in to the pepperoni pizza that just arrived at their table.