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Incorrect Quotes Generator Shenanigans: Part 4

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Raph: If you could guess, how many brain cells do you have? Splinter: Dorito’s cool ranch. Raph: Raph: I'm just gonna assume zero for now. Splinter: I love that song.

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April: What did you two do?

Donnie: Leo:

April: You’re not in trouble, I just need to know if I have to lie to the police again or not.

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Mikey: That's not funny. Draxum: I thought it was funny. Mikey: You don't count. You started laughing in the middle of a funeral because you started thinking of a meme you saw on Facebook.

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Casey II: Just took a personality test and got an A+.

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The Squad: *walking at the mall* Big Mama: Hey, have any of you guys seen Repo? They’ve been gone for a while.. Meat Sweats: Eh, nope. Warren: No, I haven’t... Hypno: Probably ran off to McDonald’s or something. Repo: Hey. Big Mama: Ooh, there you are- Meat Sweats: What the fu- Hypno: I- where were you?! Repo: Walking right behind you guys.

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Cassandra: Lol. Heads up if you try to make a candle with food coloring, the food coloring will just sink to the bottom of the glass, and when the flame eventually reaches the bottom all the food coloring will catch fire and become one giant tall flame that you cannot possibly blow out and the glass will start to crack and then you’ll throw your tea on it in a panic and then the extremely hot food coloring will boil and sizzle horribly and then the glass will shatter. Please take my word on this. Todd: What did you do Cassandra? Cassandra: a Mistake.

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Mikey: If you put a milkshake in one yard and crack open a cold one in another yard, which yard would the boys go to? April: Schrödinger's boys. Leo: FUCK! Raph: What about cracking open a cold milkshake? Donnie: As we all know, the milkshake brings the boys to the yard. The presence of the boys is a prerequisite for the cracking open of a cold one, but cold ones do not have any inherent boy-attracting abilities. Milkshakes, however, do. Donnie: All else being equal, the boys would proceed to the milkshake yard. While it is possible to announce the presence of cold ones in the hope of attracting some boys, the pull of the milkshake is much more powerful by comparison. Mikey: ... April: ... Leo: ... Raph: ... Donnie: Mind you, all of this nonsense hinges on whether or not the boys are back in town.

Incorrect Quotes Generator Shenanigans: Part 5

Leo: I'm so tired of this life. I want to be a roomba. I want knives taped to me. And I want to be set loose.

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Mikey: I'm gonna need a human skull but you can't ask why. Donnie: Only if you also don't ask why. Donnie: *pulls four pristine human skulls out of their bag* Mikey: ... Mikey, grabbing a skull: This one will do.

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Raph: I have very high standards, you know. Big Mama: I can make spaghetti... Raph: Oh no! You're meeting all my standards!

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Draxum: What are you writing? April: The government wants to know what kind of weapons we have in the house. I'm letting them know it's private information. Splinter, looking over April's shoulder: This just says 'fuck around and find out' in calligraphy.

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*Foot Lieutenant dies in a game with ships* Cassandra: This ship is no longer a ship of love, it's a ship of vengeance, a gavel of justice against all that is wrong in the world, showing no mercy, as no mercy was shown to us. Cassandra: The spark of love will now fuel the fires of destructive glory as I wage my war across the world with righteous fury. Foot Brute: Legend has it that Foot Lieutenant still haunts the ship, stealing my fucking drinks. Foot Lieutenant: Of course I do.

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Piel: Every zoo is a petting zoo unless you’re a coward. Hueso: I’m worried about you.

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Draxum: Who else is hiding in the laundry room trying to listen to Leo and Raph's convo? Splinter: Me. I'm in the laundry basket. Donnie: I'm in the washing machine. Mikey: I'm in the closet. Splinter: We accept you Mikey. <3 Mikey: No I'm literally in the closet. Splinter: Love is love. <3

~ Todd: HELP! I TOLD CASSANDRA I'D COOK DINNER TONIGHT BUT I CAN'T COOK! Casey II, pouring milk directly into the cereal bag: And you thought I could help?

Original Incorrect Quotes Shenanigans: ~Games Edition~

[Disney Villainous]

Mikey, as Prince John: And just what do you think you're doing with all that Power, Donald?

Donnie, as Captain Hook: No, you see, I need money so I can hire people to beat the crap out of this child.

Raph, as Pete: I'm sorry, WHAT--

April, as Jafar: *wHEEZE*

Leo, as Yzma: *typing on his phone* How...much...does it cost...to kill...a child?

Raph: LEO!!!! DO YOU WANT TO WIND UP ON SOME KIND OF WATCH LIST?!

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[Mario Kart Wii]

Warren, passing the first-place CPU at the beginning of the third lap: MWAHAHAHAHA! Eat my dust, loser!

[Cue lightning, followed by a blue shell, followed by a red shell, and being run over by someone using a Mega Mushroom just to add insult to injury]

Warren: Are. You. KIDDING ME?! YOU HAVE JUST MADE YOURSELF A POWERFUL ENEMY, BABY PEACH!!

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[Sorry!]

Splinter, bumping one of Draxum's pieces back to its starting point: Oops! Sorry~!

Draxum: You don't seem too sorry about it...

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[Monopoly]

Meat Sweats: And just how do you already own half the board?

Repo, very smugly: I got good business sense, is all.

Meat Sweats: No one's even traded anything yet!!! I think the stupid game's rigged...

Repo: Ah, you're only sayin' that 'cause you've been sent to jail five times, and I haven't. Maybe you'd have more property if yous wasn't a wanted criminal~

Meat Sweats: Well, maybe you'd be serving a bit more time if you didn't always conveniently have a "get out of jail free" card with you...

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[Mario Party Superstars]

Cassandra, on the 3-player side of Tug of War: *violently rotating the joystick on her controller* MY PALM MAY BE BURNING WITH THE FURY OF THE SUN, BUT I! WILL! NOT! LOSE!!!

Sunita, as the single player: *also violently rotating her joystick* Well, I sure as heck don't intend to lose, either!! ...Even if I am also in a world of pain...!

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[Pandemic]

Todd: Okay, so, how many outbreaks do we have until we lose?

Bullhop, flipping over the top card of the infection deck: Gah, it's Istanbul...but it's not over yet! We've still got another outbreak until we're done. We just need to--wait, it's connected to Karachi, isn't it? ... *deep sigh* It's over. We just lost...

Todd: ...Oh. Oh... *sniffles* We failed the entire planet...!

Bullhop: *hugs Todd* It's okay. Everyone else may be dead, but we still have each other.

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[Ticket to Ride]

Hypno: What do you mean I can't build a railway from Paris to Zurich?! I have three cards of the same color! That's how it works for everything else!!

Muninn, flipping through the rulebook: Let's see... With tunnels, you need to draw three cards from the deck to see if they match what you're going to play. If they do, you need to play that many additional cards.

Hypno: ...

Huginn: Yeah, it's just as stupid as it sounds.

Hypno: I'll say...

Incorrect Quotes Generator Shenanigans: Part 7

Raph: You can’t have a gun on stage! Ghost Bear: WRONG AGAIN! I can have a gun, and I must have a gun, that’s the rule of Chekhov’s Gun: have a gun. And now that it’s been seen, I will have to shoot someone before the end of the play.

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Foot Brute: You’re just being paranoid. Again. Cassandra: When have I been paranoid? Foot Brute: Um, when you first met Draxum you thought they were an undercover cop…? Cassandra: No one has a wart that big, I thought it was a surveillance camera! Foot Brute: And last year you were sure Foot Lieutenant was a mermaid! Cassandra: They hate wearing shirts! COINCIDENCE?! *Later, when Cassandra’s theory is proven wrong* Foot Brute: Do you have anything to say for yourself? Cassandra: I still think Foot Lieutenant is a mermaid.

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Ben: *looks at Carl* Ben: Baby boy. Baby. Ben: *looks at Leo* Ben: Evil.

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Todd: Can I offer you a nice stick in this trying time?

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Hypno: Can you be quiet?! I'm trying to think. Donnie: Don't worry. Doing anything for the first time is difficult.

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Splinter: Wow, this parking is as straight as I am. Big Mama: I know I should be focused on the fact that you just came out, but HOW DARE YOU INSULT MY PARKING!

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Meat Sweats: I’m sad. Mikey: Don’t be sad, because sad backwards is das. Mikey: And das not good.

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Casey II: I currently have 7 empty notebooks and I have no idea what to put in them. Any suggestions? Bullhop: Put spaghetti in it. Casey II: I am currently taking suggestions from everyone but you. April: Put spaghetti in it. Casey II: I am currently taking suggestions from everyone but you two. Sunita: Put spaghetti in it. Casey II: I am no longer taking suggestions.

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Donnie: Christmas lights? Raph: Check. Casey II: Thermos of hot cocoa? Raph: Check. Leo: Santa suits? Raph: Check. April: Shovel? Raph: Check. Mikey: Alibi and bail money? Raph: Check- wait, WHAT?!

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Leo: Woah dude, premarital handholding? That’s just not cool or groovy.

Incorrect Quotes Generator Shenanigans: Part 8

Splinter: Hey, wanna hear a funny joke? Cassandra: I only like dark humor. Splinter, turning the lights off: What do you call a fake noodle? Cassandra: Splinter: An IMPASTA!

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Leo: I’m sick and tired of being called 'mortal' like, you don’t know that. Neither do I. I have never died even ONCE. Nothing has been proven yet. Stop making assumptions. It’s rude.

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Donnie: Get in loser, we're going shopping. April: This is a McDonald's drive thru.

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S.H.E.L.L.D.O.N: I have no respect for Santa. Don’t sneak in through the chimney and undermine my authority by bringing my family presents. Walk in through the front door and fight me like a man.

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Todd: If you get in trouble, I'm gonna be like... a lawyer to you. Ok? Mikey: Okay. *later* Raph: Mikey! Sit down on the chair, you're in trouble. Todd, whispering: Deny everything. Mikey, loudly: That isn't a chair.

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Piel: The Ocean is a soup. Hueso: Hueso: Do elaborate. Piel: What are needed for something to be a soup? Hueso: Erm... Water, salt, some form of vegetation, and personally I prefer some meat in mine. Piel: *Tilts head* Hueso: The Ocean is a Soup. Piel: The Ocean is a Soup.

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Meat Sweats, walking into their house: Hello, people who do not live here. Hypno: Hey. Big Mama: Hi. Repo: Hello. Warren: Hey! Meat Sweats: I gave you the key to my place for emergencies only! Draxum: We were out of Doritos.

Incorrect Quotes Generator Shenanigans: Part 9

April: Arson? Oh, you mean "crime brûlée".

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Splinter: I hate to to tell you this, but one of you was adopted. Leo & Raph: Leo: Was it Raph?

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Draxum: We've got to find a way to cut down our expenses. What can we live without? Muninn: Huginn, probably.

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Todd, handing out popsicles: Which flavor do you want? Mikey: Blue flavor! Todd: Uh, you mean Blue Raspberry? Mikey: Blue flavor! Blue flavor! Todd: Blue is not a flavor! Mikey: BLUE FLAVOR!

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Jase: We can bake these cookies at 400 degrees for 10 minutes or 4,000 degrees for 1 minute. Donnie: No, that's not how you make cookies. Kendra: FLOOR IT!! Jase: How about 4,000,000 degrees for 1 second?!? Donnie: yOU'RE GONNA BURN THE HOUSE DOWN- Jase:I'M GONNA HARNESS THE POWER OF THE FUCKING SUN TO MAKE COOKIES! Jeremy: DO IT! Donnie: NO-

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Warren: Ugh, crushes are so dumb. Hypno: I know. Whenever I’m near the person I like I just start acting stupid. Warren: But you’re always acting stupid? Hypno: ... Hypno: Yeah, don’t think about that too hard.

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Leo: Why does Raph always do the laundry so loudly? April: So everyone knows that no one helps him out in the house. Raph, in the distance: *slams the washing machine shut*

Incorrect Quotes Shenanigans: Part 11

Raph: Yeah I'm LGBT. Raph: cuLt leader. Raph: God hates me personally. Raph: cowBoy hat. Raph: *sniffles* Trying my best.

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Donnie: Vegetable oil is made from vegetables, coconut oil is made from coconuts, so BABY OIL- April: CAN'T WE JUST HAVE A NICE FAMILY DINNER FOR ONCE?!

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Leo: Look at the buns on that guy! Hueso: *lying on the floor, covered in hamburger buns* Mikey: This is the comedy police! The joke's too funny! Leo: I'm not going back to jail!

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Casey II, pointing to the wall: What color is this? Splinter: Gray. Cassandra: Grey. Casey II, turning to Draxum: Now tell them what color you think it is. Draxum: Dark white.

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Repo: You're just jealous. All my friends tell me I remind them of Hypno. The Squad: *screaming* Ghost Bear: He looks like Hypno? Are you out of your fucking MIND? Warren: Hypno, sweetie, I am SO sorry. I am SO SORRY that an ugly-ass bitch like this would even say that. Oh my god. Ghost Bear: Hypno? Hypno? Hypno? You know who you fucking look like? You fucking look like Albearto!

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Bullhop: Every time I hear someone talking about updog, I’m torn between not wanting to fall for it and wanting to help them complete their joke. Honey Badger: Okay, but what is updog? Groundhog: Updog is a long sausage in a bun, often served with ketchup, mustard, onions, and/or relish. Prairie Dog: No, that’s a hot dog. An updog is when a new version or patch of an application is released. Todd: No, that's an update. You’re thinking of the fourth largest city in Sweden. Sunita: Surely, that’s Uppsala, where’s updog is the giant spider in Harry Potter. Bullhop: That’s Aragog. Updog is a symbol conventionally used for an arbitrarily small number in analysis proofs. Prairie Dog: You’re thinking of epsilon. Updog is an upward-moving air current. Groundhog: No, that’s an updraft. An updog is the modern version of a henway. Honey Badger: What’s a henway?? Bullhop: Oh, about five pounds.

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Leo: No, I don't want to talk about physics! I don't know anything about the laws of physics because they are hard and boring. I simply would like them to behave in a way that is most convenient to ME and MY LIFE! Is that really asking too much? Donnie: Yes, as a matter of fact, it is! Leo: Well, guess what? Science is stupid bullshit!! Donnie: You take that back!!! Leo: No. Magic is awesome. Science blows. The end.

Incorrect Quotes Generator Shenanigans: Part 13

Splinter: I’m quick at math. Donnie: Ok, what’s 38 times 76? Splinter: 24. Donnie: That wasn’t even close. Splinter: But it was quick.

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Draxum: If I make you breakfast in bed, a simple "thank you" is all I need. Draxum: Not all this "how did you get into my house" business.

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Leo: We have fun, don’t we, Hueso? Hueso: I have never been more stressed out in my entire life.

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Ghost Bear: I am your king, long may I reign! Albearto: Well I didn’t vote for you! Ghost Bear: You don’t vote for kings. Albearto: Well how’d you become king then? Ghost Bear: Baxter of the Lake, their arm clad in the purest shimmering samite, held aloft Excalibur from the bosom of the water, signifying by divine providence that I, Ghost Bear, was to carry Excalibur. That is why I am your king. Albearto: Listen. Strange people lying in ponds distributing swords is no basis for a system of government. Supreme executive power derives from a mandate from the masses, not from some farcical aquatic ceremony.

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*At a bank teller window* Warren, in a bad Italian accent: I'd like-a to make-a da deposit! April: HEY BUDDY, WAIT, I REMEMBER YOU! Warren: *Frantically pours marinara sauce into the vacuum tube* April: GODDAMMIT, IT'S THEM AGAIN!

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Raph: Everyone, calm down! We're grown-ups, let's deal with this like adults! Sunita: So, we're just going to wing it and hope for the best? Raph: Obviously. Now, Todd, pass the shovel.

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Donnie: Hey, can we stay in your dorm tonight? Leo: Why? Donnie: Raph fiddled with an ouija board and cursed ours. Big Mama: Mikey doesn't know how to banish spirits, so they just throw salt at them and yell "DOES THIS LOOK LIKE A HOTEL TO YOU?!"

Incorrect Quotes Generator Shenanigans: Part 15

Repo: BEHOLD, the field in which I grow my fucks! Lay thine eyes upon it, and thou shalt see that it is barren!

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Leo: Here is my wall of inspirational people. Mikey: Is that a picture of you? Leo: Yes, I am big enough to admit that I am often inspired by myself.

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Splinter: You call it "really bad at darts", I call it "freestyle acupuncture." Bartender: ...I'm going to have to ask you to leave the bar.

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Bullhop: Why would you give a knife to Todd?! April, shrugging: Todd felt unsafe. Bullhop: Now I feel unsafe! April: I’m sorry… April: Would you like a knife?

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Mikey: Social distancing says you shouldn't be within an elbow's distance of each other. *later, in a barfight* Mikey: Social distancing doesn't say nothing about feet! *kicks opponent in the face*

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Hypno: OKAY, YOU KNOW WHAT?! TIME OUT! GET ON TOP OF THE FRIDGE! GET UP THERE! Meat Sweats: *Climbing* THIS HOUSE IS A FUCKING NIGHTMARE!!!

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Raph: Are you reading fan fiction? Donnie, reading an article about extremely rare diseases: Wh- No. Raph: Oh, is it on AO3? Donnie: This is CNN.

Incorrect Quotes Generator Shenanigans: Part 19

April: Why is Mikey crying? Leo: He saw a leaf on the sidewalk and- Mikey: IT LOOKED SO CRUNCHY! April: Please don’t say what I think you’re gonna say- Mikey: AND WHEN I STEPPED ON IT THERE WAS NO CRUNCH! April: NO, NOT THAT!

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Splinter: Valentines Day? I'm ready. *Sprays an entire can of AXE body spray on himself*

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Raph: You made enough pasta that you could take it to lunch tomorrow. Put it in a container. Todd: Shovel the pasta into your face. Do it. Put it in your face. The future is meaningless but the pasta is now.

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Big Mama, teaching Foot Lieutenant to drive: Okay, you're driving and Foot Brute and Draxum walk into the road. Quick, what do you hit? Foot Lieutenant: Oh, definitely Draxum. I could never hurt Foot Brute. Big Mama, massaging her temples: The brakes. You hit the brakes.

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Warren: .. .----. -- / … --- .-. .-. -.-- (translation: I'M SORRY) Hypno: What's that? Warren: Remorse code. Hypno: I'm even angrier now.

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Jupiter Jim: So I can either do something dumb that could very well get me injured or I can listen to Red Fox and not do the thing, Jupiter Jim: Well there’s a clear right answer here. Jupiter Jim: *proceeds to throw five packs of mentos into a barrel full of diet coke*

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Donnie: The waiter at Olive Garden has been grating my cheese for 6 hours now, waiting for me to say when. Customers are screaming. Three people have died. Donnie: I will not yield.

Incorrect Quotes Generator Shenanigans: Part ~20~

Sorry for the wait. I got distracted by stuff at school and a busy weekend after returning home for the summer. I'll try not to let such a long hiatus happen again unless absolutely necessary. With that said...

LET'S GET THIS TRAIN ROLLING!

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Raph: I’m so excited! Mikey: We’re gonna have the best costumes, get the most candy... Raph: And have the biggest stomach aches ever! Mikey: Yeah!

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Splinter: My ultimate goal is to punch God in the eye, just to spite him one last time.

~ April: I just drank a lego piece. Warren: ...what the hell?! You melted plastic and drank the liquid? April: Yes. Warren: Why did you even melt a lego in the first place?! April: Because it looked like chocolate! So I drank it! You know, like a chocolate shake?

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Leo: Hey guys! I drew everyones soul! Donnie: Why is Cassandra's a monster? Cassandra: Leo, you forgot Donnie's! Its only an empty space! Leo, proudly: Exactly

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Big Mama: Don't joke about murder. I was murdered once and it offends me.

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Baxter: And have you learnt anything this Christmas, Draxum? Draxum: …Not really. Baxter: Nothing? Draxum: Tell you one thing I have learnt—Christmas; ultimately, commercial holiday. Who's the real winner at Christmas? Amazon. they have drones now! Tiny little dystopian slaves delivering iPads and headphones. I ordered a toaster; It was on the doorstep five hours later! Do we need that? It was 4.99! For a toaster! I mean, someone's being exploited there.

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Meat Sweats: When life gives you lemons, what do you do? Albearto: Make lemonade! Meat Sweats: No, throw them back up in the sky and make life deal with its own shit.

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Huginn: If there’s one thing I learned from Muninn, it’s to set people’s expectations real low, so you end up surprising them by practically doing nothing at all.

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Ghost Bear: Hello, McDonald's, I would like to purchase 130 chicken nuggets. Prepare yourselves.

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Sunita: I can be your partner for the next race. Hypno: Sorry, Sunita. It's a sibling race. Todd: Maybe there's a contest for lonely children after this. Hypno: It's only children, Todd. A lonely child is what you're gonna be when I sell you!

🏴‍☠️🍋🐸🐛🥺That angelic voice it's just legendary! 🥺🐛🐸🍋🏴‍☠️

Todd the Capybara

I'm looking between this:

and this:

https://href.li/?https://thumbor.bigedition.com/capybara/WN4JNGIa9eqeSDun5FQXNtuBprI=/800x600/filters:format(webp):quality(80)/granite-web-prod/b0/f6/b0f6e911fee845a49b7d2ef76f2895ea.jpeg

What in the hellheim happened?