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Reunited in the Afterlife

Summary: Set in the Kraang Apocalypse timeline. Each of the turtles & April reunite with their family after dying in battle.

Author’s Note: Hey! Sorry that this took so long to update. This chapter is my longest one yet. I wanted to put in extra effort because a) there are now more dead characters that they need to reunite with and b) Future Leo and Mikey’s deaths are the ones we have the most information about in canon. I think you guys will like it. Enjoy!

Part 4: Mikey and Leo

(Part 1: Raph, Part 2: Donnie, Part 3: April)

“Do me a favor. When you’re done saving the world, grab a slice!” Leo tossed Casey into the portal that Mikey, his baby brother, had given his life to open. Casey reached out to him as he flew backward and the turtle tried to ignore the pain in his heart. He didn’t want to lose Casey too but this was their only chance for a better world.

 Just as he let go of his student, two Kraangified dogs lunged at him, murder in their eyes. But he had been surviving the apocalypse for 24 years. Leo gave Casey one last reassuring smile before he whipped out his sword and deflected the dog’s attack. He ran a few steps away from the portal, hoping to lead the dogs away from the last surviving member of his family, when a blinding red light surrounded him. Then his vision went black.

 Leo opened his eyes. The first thing he saw was a tall gate glowing jade green several meters away from him. Wait, what? The turtle rubbed the back of his head. He was confused. Looks like he wasn’t in New York anymore. “Where am I?” Leo whispered to himself.

 “LEO!!!” a voice exclaimed. The slider’s heart skipped a beat. He lowered his eyes from the glowing gate to see none other than the glowing figure of Michelangelo Hamato racing towards him.

 Leo let out a laugh, his heart warming. “Mikey!” he cried as his little brother launched himself at him. Mikey tackled him in a hug, just like he used to do when they were teens, his cloak becoming tangled in the process. It didn’t matter that Leo had just seen him a few minutes ago, the last time he saw Mikey he was exploding into thousands of light particles. He was allowed to be concerned.

“Did Casey make it through?” Leo nodded into his shoulder. “Good,” Mikey replied. “It’s alright Leo, I’m here.” The smile was evident in his voice. Leo let out a happy sigh before he pulled back to get a better look at his brother.

 “Thanks, Mikey. Just promise you won’t go supernova on me again, ‘kay?” he said in a half-teasing tone. His brother let out a giggle and nodded. Leo responded with a grin and then proceeded to ruffle Mikey’s sideburns.

 “Ah! Hey! Leo!” Mikey laughed while swatting his hand away. The older turtle let out a chuckle. “Hey, what is this place anyway?” Leo asked.

 Mikey’s laughter died down and he became quiet. “You see that gate over there?” he asked, pointing to the glowing green one Leo saw when he first arrived. Leo nodded. Mikey took a breath. “On the other side is the afterlife, where the souls of the dead live.”

 Leo’s eyes widened. “The afterlife…” he whispered. “So that’s what that red light was! I took a direct hit from the beam on Kraang Prime’s armor.”

 “Not gonna lie, that’s a pretty cool way to die,” Mikey said.

 “So if all the souls of the dead are beyond that gate,” Leo said, his tone becoming solemn. “Does that mean that…they are in there?” He didn’t need to use their names. Mikey knew who he was talking about.

 His brother nodded, getting the hint. “I wanted to wait for you before going in. It wouldn’t be a family reunion without all of us there. You ready?”

 Leo hesitated. He’s never been good at facing his emotions head-on. That’s why he used humor to cope. It was so much easier to deflect and pretend that everything was fine than to allow himself to be vulnerable. He was a lot like Donnie that way.

 Donnie… Leo softened at the thought of his twin. His twin who gave his life to save so many others. His twin whose presence never died even after he was gone thanks to his machines. Could he really be about to see him again? And Raph too? Leo still had nightmares about the day he died. The idea of seeing him again…it seemed too impossible to hope.

 Yet here he stood, a soul about to enter the afterlife. And all he had to do was walk through those gates to see his family again. His brothers, his dad, Draxum, Cassandra, and Gram-gram. Leo took a deep breath and faced Mikey, a brave smile on his face. “I’m ready,” he said.

 Mikey smiled and took Leo’s hand. The two brothers walked toward the entrance to the afterlife together. There was an old man standing beside the gates whose eyes widened upon seeing them. “Resistance Leaders Michelangelo and Leonardo!” he exclaimed, standing up straighter. Leo, who was very used to this kind of treatment, gave the man a smile and nod in return. Mikey smiled and gave him a wave of his hand. “Hello!” he said, probably making the old man’s day.

 The gatekeeper then opened the glowing gates and gave them a respectful bow. “Welcome to the afterlife,” he said. “Thank you,” Leo said softly.

 Mikey bent down to ask the man a question. “By the way, have you seen an April O’Neil pass through here?” the box turtle asked. The old man nodded his head. “She arrived just fifteen minutes ago.” The two brothers exchanged a look. April was here with them. That meant their entire family would be together for the first time in almost seventeen years. Minus Casey Jr. who was hopefully trying to stop Leo’s 16-year-old self from making the biggest mistake of his life.

 Mikey turned back around to the old man. “Thank you for telling us,” he said. Then he nudged Leo’s arm and gave him a soft smile. “Come on Leo. Let’s go see our family again.” The red-eared slider grinned back. The two turtles walked through the gates. 

 They had barely made it a few steps in when they found all the ghosts collected near the gate staring at them. “Umm…hi?” Mikey said awkwardly. Immediately, all the souls started panicking and screaming questions. Leo winced at the noise. He should have expected this. He and Mikey were the last remaining leaders of the resistance so the fact that they were dead was not a good sign.

 “HEY! GIVE THEM SOME SPACE!” a strong female voice rang out. At the sound of it, the crowd quieted down and slowly started to disperse. Leo glanced at Mikey. They appeared to be thinking the same thing. There was only one person who that voice could belong to: April.

 Their suspicions were confirmed when Commander O’Neil appeared through what was left of the crowd. “And April O’Neil saves your butts once again,” the Commander said with a smirk.

 “April!” Mikey cried before tackling her in a hug that probably would have killed her if she weren’t already dead. “Woah!” she laughed, stumbling backward a bit. Leo chuckled. Then he waltzed up behind them and wrapped his arms, one small and fleshy, the other large and robotic, around the pair and spun them around. April and Mikey laughed and shrieked in protest, which only fueled him more.

 After a few more spins, he set them down. “How did you even get here?” Leo asked. “We thought you were still alive until the dude at the gates told us otherwise.”

 “I was struck in the back with a laser beam,” April said, gesturing towards her back. “But unlike with you, it didn’t vaporize my body. You actually ran right past my corpse earlier. But you were busy bleeding out so I forgive you.”

 “Oh,” Leo said. “Wait, how did you know that I got hit with a laser too?”

 “Anatawa Hitorijanai,” April quoted. “Spirits of the dead can look after their loved ones on earth and when I died a few minutes ago, I gained that ability too.”

 “Like Gram-gram?!” Mikey exclaimed with stars in his eyes. Just like how he did as a teen before the Kraang invasion, Leo noted. “And Splinter’s mom?!”

 April grinned. “Yeah, just like them,” she said before turning to face Leo. “I heard you got stabbed and we decided you needed all the help you could get. Even from beyond the grave.”

 “So you were haunting us,” Leo said with a smirk. Mikey let out a snort.

 April’s features fell into an annoyed expression. “That’s not exactly the word I would use,” she said.

 “Stalking? Spying?” Leo teased, his grin becoming wider. Mikey was desperately trying to conceal his laughter.

 April rolled her eyes and sighed. “You’re hopeless. Both of you.”

 Leo chuckled. “But seriously now,” he said. “Thanks for watching over us. Even though we ended up dying only like 15 minutes after you, thanks for making the effort.”

 April smiled warmly. “No problem,” she said. “Now if you’ll excuse me,” she continued, her smile becoming mysterious and secretive. “There are two people who have been waiting very patiently to talk to you again.” She stepped aside to reveal…their brothers. Raph and Donnie stood there, their souls glowing red and purple wearing soft smiles on their faces. Mikey gasped and Leo dropped his sword in shock, making it clatter on the ground. The sound echoed in the sudden silence.

 “Took you guys long enough,” Donnie said with a smirk, the sound of his voice making Leo’s heart ache. It was him, it was really him. Not a hologram projection, or Omega, or a recording of his voice, but the real Donnie. His twin. Leo had to fight back his tears. Mikey, who was standing beside him, already had tears streaming down his face.

 “It’s about time the Mad Dogs had a reunion,” Raph said with a grin. And he thought hearing Donnie’s voice again was a shock. Leo forced himself to look directly at his older brother. His older brother who still looked exactly the same as he did 13 years ago. His older brother who had been his best friend during his teenage years and his closest confidant during the first 11 years of the apocalypse. His older brother, whose scolding always, always came from a place of love. His older brother, who sacrificed himself to save Leo’s life. Against his will, tears started streaming down Leo’s cheeks. Then a smile started to form on his face, the joy of seeing his brothers again overpowering all the years of loss and sadness the apocalypse brought.

 “Raph! Donald!” Mikey cried happily, big, fat tears of joy streaking down his face. He charged at them as fast as he could. Leo let out a chuckle, a smile spreading across his face, and followed suit, running towards his brothers and Raph’s open arms. The Kraang had tried to beat him down for 24 years. They took away his home, his friends, his family, and now his life. But he would not let them take away his spirit. If he lost that, then the Kraang won. And he was not going to let that happen. He had wasted enough time on tears and he wasn’t going to give any more of them to the Kraang. Leo crashed into his brothers, all of them laughing as they had their first group hug in over 13 years.

 Leo closed his eyes, wishing to preserve this moment forever. How he missed the feeling of Raph’s spiky arms engulfing all three of them, Mikey’s much tinier arms struggling to reach all the way around, and Donnie’s comforting weight leaning against him, his twin’s arms pinned to his sides. It’s them. It’s really them. I’m with my brothers again, Leo thought. He started to cry again. Not from grief this time, but from relief and joy. Raph’s grip tightened as he picked all of them up and spun them around. Mikey’s happy shriek pierced Leo’s ears as well as Donnie’s startled yells. The slider didn’t mind one bit the damage being done to his eardrums. He was just happy to be with his family again.

 Raph set the three of them back down but no one wanted the hug to end. “Can we stay like this a bit longer?” Mikey whispered, effectively breaking his older brother’s hearts. Leo raised his head and exchanged a look with Raph. They both smiled softly, remembering how innocent and optimistic Mikey was before the Kraang invasion shoved the cruelties of the world right into his face. “Of course, Michael,” Donnie said, freeing his pinned arms to wrap them around their youngest brother. Their group hug tightened once more. Leo sighed. Maybe it was okay for Leo to let himself be vulnerable.

 “Hey April! Get in here!” Raph yelled. Still standing off to the side, April raised her eyebrows in surprise. Then she broke into a giant grin, her eyes crinkling at the corners. She laughed and ran right at the boys, joining their group hug. Immediately, four pairs of arms wrapped around her. Now we’re complete, Leo thought with a smile.

 After what seemed like an eternity, the four brothers and April finally pulled apart, big smiles on all of their faces. Leo chuckled, wiping the last tears from his eyes. “I missed you guys so much,” he said, smiling brighter than he has in years.

 Donnie nudged Leo’s side affectionately and smiled. “We missed you too, Nardo. As fun as it was haunting you-” April groaned, cutting him off. “Not you too, Dee,” she whined. Donnie smirked and continued without missing a beat. “It just, dramatic sigh, wasn’t the same. I longed for our bi-weekly trash talk sessions. It’s good to have you here, Leo.”

 “Gee, if you wanted me dead, you could have just said so,” Leo joked, matching Donnie’s smirk. “But I missed talking to you too. The real you. Not Omega or one of your inventions.” That statement earned a soft smile from Donnie. Sure, it was mostly aimed at the floor because Donnie was emotionally constipated, but Leo understood how much that one action meant.

 “Hey, what about me?” Mikey teased. Donnie smiled genuinely and flung his arm around Michael. “Of course I missed you too, dear Angelo. Whatever would I do without my favorite partner in crime? But it seems I have taught you well. You were certainly a force to be reckoned with earlier. You had impeccable timing too.”

 Mikey grinned. “Thanks, Donald,” he said. “Just imagine if you were there. Your guns and my chains would have been an unstoppable team!”

 “I concur,” Donnie said ruffling Mikey’s hair. “Hey!” the box turtle exclaimed. “Leave my sideburns alone!”

 “Very well Master Yoda.”

 “WHY YOU!”

 While Mikey and Donnie were bickering playfully, Raph nudged Leo’s side. “Hey, I’m proud of you little bro,” his older brother said gently. Leo’s eyes widened. “Wait, really?” he asked. Leo used to feel that the whole Kraang invasion was his fault since he was the one who made Raph drop the key. He now understood that it was the Foot Clan’s fault for deciding to use it, but the feeling still lingered a bit.

 Raph smiled and nodded. “Of course,” he said. “I saw how you led the resistance for the past decade. You rose up to every challenge that came your way and gave the resistance hope to keep going. You led raids and rescue missions and you saved so many lives.”

 But I couldn’t save the ones that mattered, Leo thought to himself, his heart a bit heavy. Raph seemed to have read his mind because he said, “Hey, don’t blame yourself.” His tone was serious and stern. “I made my decision and I would do it again in a heartbeat if it meant saving your life. Besides, you have no control who lives, who dies, who tells your story.”

 “Did you just quote Hamilton to make me feel better?”

 “Yes, absolutely. Did it work?” Raph asked with such an adorable grin on his face, Leo couldn’t help but laugh. “Yeah, it did. Thanks.”

 Raph grinned. “No problem,”he said. “But my point is, you were an amazing leader and we are all so proud of you. Without you, I don’t think we would’ve been able to hold off the Kraang for as long as we did. And I want you to know it.”

 Leo sniffed and wiped a single tear from his eye. “Thanks, Raph,” he murmured. His big brother wrapped his arms around him and pulled him into a hug. “Anytime, he said. “By the way, I love what you did with your prosthetic. And your sword too.” It’s safe to say that Leo had to use every single ounce of his willpower not to break down crying right then and there. But before a single tear could escape from his eye, the sound of someone yelling echoed through the clearing, interrupting the moment.

 “I DON’T CARE IF YOU TWO ARE DEAD, I’M GOING TO MURDER YOU!!!”

 Leo’s eyes widened as he pulled away from the hug. He and Mikey exchanged a look. If that voice was who they thought it was, they were so dead. Pun intended. The brothers turned to April. “Is it just me or was that…?” Leo asked, trailing off.

 April nodded, an evil smile growing on her face. “That,” she said mischievously. “Would be Cassandra. I’d run if I were you. She is pissed.” Leo swore under his breath. He was heartbroken when Cass died, leaving behind her young son, and he was dying to see her again, but If she was made, whoo boy he was done for.

 At that, the one and only Cassandra Jones stormed in looking, as April had said, very pissed. “Okay,” she started. “While I understand why you did it, WHAT ON EARTH! MADE YOU THINK! THAT IT WAS A GOOD IDEA TO RANDOMLY TOSS MY BOY INTO A TIME PORTAL WITH NO EXPLANATION?! At least you had a sound enough mind to give him clear instructions. But still, aside from our stories, the kid knows nothing about how life was before the apocalypse. He’s probably going to attack the first person he sees.”

 Leo opened and closed his mouth, biting back a remark of like mother, like son as well as any sentimental goop one might say after seeing their dead friend after you helped raise their son. Thankfully, Mikey saved his sorry butt from any potential embarrassment. “Cass?” he gasped softly. Casey’s pissed demeanor melted away like butter and was replaced with a warm smile. Leo smirked. Cass has always had a soft spot for Mikey. But the wholesome atmosphere melted away the second Cass opened her mouth again.

 “Hey, Grandpa Mikey,” she teased, her grin big and mischievous.

 “OH FOR CRYING OUT LOUD!!!”

 “Dr. Delicate Touch had entered the chat,” Donnie muttered as he walked up behind Leo. Leo snorted as Raph burst into a fit of giggles. He missed joking around with his brothers like this.

 After Casey had finally calmed down from her fit of giggles, she turned to Leo. “But seriously, thank you for taking care of my little stinkbug after I kicked the bucket. You really kept to your promise.” The blue turtle smiled warmly when she said that. “It was my pleasure. That kid is too good for this world.” Cassandra nodded in agreement.

 “Oh and by the way, your dads are here,” Cass added. Leo and Mikey whipped their heads around to see Splinter running towards them as fast as he could with Draxum at his heels. “Pops?” Leo whispered just as Mikey yelled “DAD! BARRY!” Mikey started to sprint towards them as well. Leo’s shocked expression melted into a smile. He chuckled then turned to look at his other two brothers and April. “Come on!” Leo said to them before turning around and following after Mikey. He could hear Raph, Donnie, and April’s footsteps behind him as he ran towards his parents.

 Leo overtook Mikey and scooped hi dad up into his arms. Splinter let out a big hearty laugh that reminded Leo of when he was younger. He felt three shapes crash into them, Mikey, April and Donnie, before two giant pairs of arms wrapped around them, Raph and Draxum. “Oh, my boys,” their dad muttered, his voice warm and loving. Leos cheeks started to hurt from all the smiling he was doing. He was with his family again. “I missed you so much, Dad,” Leo said. “I did too,” Mikey added. As they were hugging, Leo and Mikey began to change color. Their souls that were once the default jade green color began to change into bright orange and blue. But no one noticed at the time. They were all too invested in the hug.

After several loving minutes they all pulled apart, grinning faces all around. “Hey, we got our colors back!” Mikey exclaimed, admiring his outstretched arms, now glowing orange instead of green. Leo nodded in response, blue always suited him better. Plus, now he was matching with his brothers again. 

 Leo then heard the sharp sound of someone clearing their throat. He turned around to see that it came from Draxum who was looking at him pointedly. “Good to see you Leonardo,” Draxum said with a pinch of passive aggression. Leo realized he hadn’t greeted the alchemist yet The slider gave Draxum a mischievous grin. “Good to see you too, Goat man. How did you get up here anyways? Last I checked, you were still kicking Kraang butt with your mystic vines.”

 Barry rolled his eyes in amusement at the nickname. “I passed away several minutes after O’Neil. I believe I was hit with a laser.”

 “Wow, everyone’s getting murdered by lasers,” April commented. Everyone laughed at that. “I know right!” Leo replied, putting his weight on one leg. “At least that means we’re all together again,” Mikey said sweetly. “Yeah,” Raph replied, ruffling the box turtle’s hair fondly.

 “Really? All of you? Aren’t you forgetting someone?,” a familiar female voice teased. Leo’s head snapped up at the voice. He and Mikey turned to see Karai standing several feet away with a sweet smile on her face. “GRAM-GRAM!!!” the two of them exclaimed in unison.

 Karai laughed. “It’s good to see you boys too,” she said. “Come on. We will all show you around.” Karai reached out her hand. Leo hesitated. Then he felt a hand on his shoulder. “You heard her,” Raph said with a grin, looking down at him. “Let’s show you guys around.” Raph took Leo’s hand and lead him towards Karai just as Donnie grabbed Mikey’s hand and did the same. Leo took Gram-gram’s outstretched arm, then Mikey took her other one. All nine of them, Raph, Leo, Mikey, Donnie, April, Splinter, Draxum, Cassandra, and Karai, joined hands in one big line. Leo closed his eyes, feeling more complete than he had in years. Then Gram-gram started to move forward, bringing all of them with her.

 “Welcome to the Afterlife,” she said

Incorrect Quotes Generator Shenanigans: Part 4

~

Raph: If you could guess, how many brain cells do you have? Splinter: Dorito’s cool ranch. Raph: Raph: I'm just gonna assume zero for now. Splinter: I love that song.

~

April: What did you two do?

Donnie: Leo:

April: You’re not in trouble, I just need to know if I have to lie to the police again or not.

~

Mikey: That's not funny. Draxum: I thought it was funny. Mikey: You don't count. You started laughing in the middle of a funeral because you started thinking of a meme you saw on Facebook.

~

Casey II: Just took a personality test and got an A+.

~

The Squad: *walking at the mall* Big Mama: Hey, have any of you guys seen Repo? They’ve been gone for a while.. Meat Sweats: Eh, nope. Warren: No, I haven’t... Hypno: Probably ran off to McDonald’s or something. Repo: Hey. Big Mama: Ooh, there you are- Meat Sweats: What the fu- Hypno: I- where were you?! Repo: Walking right behind you guys.

~

Cassandra: Lol. Heads up if you try to make a candle with food coloring, the food coloring will just sink to the bottom of the glass, and when the flame eventually reaches the bottom all the food coloring will catch fire and become one giant tall flame that you cannot possibly blow out and the glass will start to crack and then you’ll throw your tea on it in a panic and then the extremely hot food coloring will boil and sizzle horribly and then the glass will shatter. Please take my word on this. Todd: What did you do Cassandra? Cassandra: a Mistake.

~

Mikey: If you put a milkshake in one yard and crack open a cold one in another yard, which yard would the boys go to? April: Schrödinger's boys. Leo: FUCK! Raph: What about cracking open a cold milkshake? Donnie: As we all know, the milkshake brings the boys to the yard. The presence of the boys is a prerequisite for the cracking open of a cold one, but cold ones do not have any inherent boy-attracting abilities. Milkshakes, however, do. Donnie: All else being equal, the boys would proceed to the milkshake yard. While it is possible to announce the presence of cold ones in the hope of attracting some boys, the pull of the milkshake is much more powerful by comparison. Mikey: ... April: ... Leo: ... Raph: ... Donnie: Mind you, all of this nonsense hinges on whether or not the boys are back in town.

Incorrect Quotes Generator Shenanigans: Part 5

Leo: I'm so tired of this life. I want to be a roomba. I want knives taped to me. And I want to be set loose.

~

Mikey: I'm gonna need a human skull but you can't ask why. Donnie: Only if you also don't ask why. Donnie: *pulls four pristine human skulls out of their bag* Mikey: ... Mikey, grabbing a skull: This one will do.

~

Raph: I have very high standards, you know. Big Mama: I can make spaghetti... Raph: Oh no! You're meeting all my standards!

~

Draxum: What are you writing? April: The government wants to know what kind of weapons we have in the house. I'm letting them know it's private information. Splinter, looking over April's shoulder: This just says 'fuck around and find out' in calligraphy.

~

*Foot Lieutenant dies in a game with ships* Cassandra: This ship is no longer a ship of love, it's a ship of vengeance, a gavel of justice against all that is wrong in the world, showing no mercy, as no mercy was shown to us. Cassandra: The spark of love will now fuel the fires of destructive glory as I wage my war across the world with righteous fury. Foot Brute: Legend has it that Foot Lieutenant still haunts the ship, stealing my fucking drinks. Foot Lieutenant: Of course I do.

~

Piel: Every zoo is a petting zoo unless you’re a coward. Hueso: I’m worried about you.

~

Draxum: Who else is hiding in the laundry room trying to listen to Leo and Raph's convo? Splinter: Me. I'm in the laundry basket. Donnie: I'm in the washing machine. Mikey: I'm in the closet. Splinter: We accept you Mikey. <3 Mikey: No I'm literally in the closet. Splinter: Love is love. <3

~ Todd: HELP! I TOLD CASSANDRA I'D COOK DINNER TONIGHT BUT I CAN'T COOK! Casey II, pouring milk directly into the cereal bag: And you thought I could help?

Incorrect Quotes Generator Shenanigans: Part 6

Meat Sweats: Y’know, maybe things aren’t so bad. I’m here. I got the nice ocean breeze. Just alone with my thoughts. Mikey: Hey, Meat Sweats. Meat Sweats: GODDAMNIT!

~

Dastardly Danny, setting down a card: Ace of spades. Malicious Mickey, pulling out an Uno card: +4. Loathsome Leonard, pulling out a Pokémon card: Jolteon, I choose you! Raph, trembling: What are we playing?!

~

Donnie: How do you want your coffee? Leo: Black, like my soul. Donnie: Donnie: Leo, your soul is a latte.

~

Cassandra: And here we see Casey II and April in their natural habitat. Texting eachother variations of the word "garlic bread" to try to make eachother laugh. Casey II: Gaelic bread. April: Grueling brad. Casey II: Ha ha, glamorous beans.

~

Draxum: Splinter has never seen Star Wars? Big Mama, the only people in the universe who haven’t seen Star Wars are the characters in Star Wars and that’s cause they lived them, Big Mama! That’s cause they lived the Star Wars!

~

Hypno: Reality is an illusion, the universe is a hologram, buy gold, bye!

~

Huginn, holding a scooter: Muninn! Can I go outside and play with this? Muninn: Sure, whatever. I'm not your parent, okay? Huginn, running outside: Thanks Muninn! Muninn, running out after them and screaming: NOT ON THE STREET! STAY AWAY!

~

Sunita: I don’t think the therapist is supposed to say ‘wow’ that many times during their first session with a client, but here we are.

~

Ghost Bear, explaining why they are not allowed to cook: I put the noodles in the pot and put the pot on the stove and turned the burner on high. Turns out you don't put noodles in marijuana and I almost burnt the whole house down.

Original Incorrect Quotes Shenanigans: ~Games Edition~

[Disney Villainous]

Mikey, as Prince John: And just what do you think you're doing with all that Power, Donald?

Donnie, as Captain Hook: No, you see, I need money so I can hire people to beat the crap out of this child.

Raph, as Pete: I'm sorry, WHAT--

April, as Jafar: *wHEEZE*

Leo, as Yzma: *typing on his phone* How...much...does it cost...to kill...a child?

Raph: LEO!!!! DO YOU WANT TO WIND UP ON SOME KIND OF WATCH LIST?!

~

[Mario Kart Wii]

Warren, passing the first-place CPU at the beginning of the third lap: MWAHAHAHAHA! Eat my dust, loser!

[Cue lightning, followed by a blue shell, followed by a red shell, and being run over by someone using a Mega Mushroom just to add insult to injury]

Warren: Are. You. KIDDING ME?! YOU HAVE JUST MADE YOURSELF A POWERFUL ENEMY, BABY PEACH!!

~

[Sorry!]

Splinter, bumping one of Draxum's pieces back to its starting point: Oops! Sorry~!

Draxum: You don't seem too sorry about it...

~

[Monopoly]

Meat Sweats: And just how do you already own half the board?

Repo, very smugly: I got good business sense, is all.

Meat Sweats: No one's even traded anything yet!!! I think the stupid game's rigged...

Repo: Ah, you're only sayin' that 'cause you've been sent to jail five times, and I haven't. Maybe you'd have more property if yous wasn't a wanted criminal~

Meat Sweats: Well, maybe you'd be serving a bit more time if you didn't always conveniently have a "get out of jail free" card with you...

~

[Mario Party Superstars]

Cassandra, on the 3-player side of Tug of War: *violently rotating the joystick on her controller* MY PALM MAY BE BURNING WITH THE FURY OF THE SUN, BUT I! WILL! NOT! LOSE!!!

Sunita, as the single player: *also violently rotating her joystick* Well, I sure as heck don't intend to lose, either!! ...Even if I am also in a world of pain...!

~

[Pandemic]

Todd: Okay, so, how many outbreaks do we have until we lose?

Bullhop, flipping over the top card of the infection deck: Gah, it's Istanbul...but it's not over yet! We've still got another outbreak until we're done. We just need to--wait, it's connected to Karachi, isn't it? ... *deep sigh* It's over. We just lost...

Todd: ...Oh. Oh... *sniffles* We failed the entire planet...!

Bullhop: *hugs Todd* It's okay. Everyone else may be dead, but we still have each other.

~

[Ticket to Ride]

Hypno: What do you mean I can't build a railway from Paris to Zurich?! I have three cards of the same color! That's how it works for everything else!!

Muninn, flipping through the rulebook: Let's see... With tunnels, you need to draw three cards from the deck to see if they match what you're going to play. If they do, you need to play that many additional cards.

Hypno: ...

Huginn: Yeah, it's just as stupid as it sounds.

Hypno: I'll say...

Incorrect Quotes Generator Shenanigans: Part 7

Raph: You can’t have a gun on stage! Ghost Bear: WRONG AGAIN! I can have a gun, and I must have a gun, that’s the rule of Chekhov’s Gun: have a gun. And now that it’s been seen, I will have to shoot someone before the end of the play.

~

Foot Brute: You’re just being paranoid. Again. Cassandra: When have I been paranoid? Foot Brute: Um, when you first met Draxum you thought they were an undercover cop…? Cassandra: No one has a wart that big, I thought it was a surveillance camera! Foot Brute: And last year you were sure Foot Lieutenant was a mermaid! Cassandra: They hate wearing shirts! COINCIDENCE?! *Later, when Cassandra’s theory is proven wrong* Foot Brute: Do you have anything to say for yourself? Cassandra: I still think Foot Lieutenant is a mermaid.

~

Ben: *looks at Carl* Ben: Baby boy. Baby. Ben: *looks at Leo* Ben: Evil.

~

Todd: Can I offer you a nice stick in this trying time?

~

Hypno: Can you be quiet?! I'm trying to think. Donnie: Don't worry. Doing anything for the first time is difficult.

~

Splinter: Wow, this parking is as straight as I am. Big Mama: I know I should be focused on the fact that you just came out, but HOW DARE YOU INSULT MY PARKING!

~

Meat Sweats: I’m sad. Mikey: Don’t be sad, because sad backwards is das. Mikey: And das not good.

~

Casey II: I currently have 7 empty notebooks and I have no idea what to put in them. Any suggestions? Bullhop: Put spaghetti in it. Casey II: I am currently taking suggestions from everyone but you. April: Put spaghetti in it. Casey II: I am currently taking suggestions from everyone but you two. Sunita: Put spaghetti in it. Casey II: I am no longer taking suggestions.

~

Donnie: Christmas lights? Raph: Check. Casey II: Thermos of hot cocoa? Raph: Check. Leo: Santa suits? Raph: Check. April: Shovel? Raph: Check. Mikey: Alibi and bail money? Raph: Check- wait, WHAT?!

~

Leo: Woah dude, premarital handholding? That’s just not cool or groovy.

Incorrect Quotes Generator Shenanigans: Part 8

Splinter: Hey, wanna hear a funny joke? Cassandra: I only like dark humor. Splinter, turning the lights off: What do you call a fake noodle? Cassandra: Splinter: An IMPASTA!

~

Leo: I’m sick and tired of being called 'mortal' like, you don’t know that. Neither do I. I have never died even ONCE. Nothing has been proven yet. Stop making assumptions. It’s rude.

~

Donnie: Get in loser, we're going shopping. April: This is a McDonald's drive thru.

~

S.H.E.L.L.D.O.N: I have no respect for Santa. Don’t sneak in through the chimney and undermine my authority by bringing my family presents. Walk in through the front door and fight me like a man.

~

Todd: If you get in trouble, I'm gonna be like... a lawyer to you. Ok? Mikey: Okay. *later* Raph: Mikey! Sit down on the chair, you're in trouble. Todd, whispering: Deny everything. Mikey, loudly: That isn't a chair.

~

Piel: The Ocean is a soup. Hueso: Hueso: Do elaborate. Piel: What are needed for something to be a soup? Hueso: Erm... Water, salt, some form of vegetation, and personally I prefer some meat in mine. Piel: *Tilts head* Hueso: The Ocean is a Soup. Piel: The Ocean is a Soup.

~

Meat Sweats, walking into their house: Hello, people who do not live here. Hypno: Hey. Big Mama: Hi. Repo: Hello. Warren: Hey! Meat Sweats: I gave you the key to my place for emergencies only! Draxum: We were out of Doritos.

Incorrect Quotes Generator Shenanigans: Part ~10~

Mikey: Raph, do you love me? Raph: Of course I do! Mikey: Would you still love me if I did something bad? Raph: Well, of course I… would… Mikey: I mean something really, really— Raph: Mikey, what did you do?

~

Leo: We’re playing Scrabble. It’s a nightmare. Casey II: Scrabble? Scrabble’s great. Leo: Not when you’re playing with Cassandra, it’s not. She puts words like “ephemeral” and I put “dog.”

~

Warren, looking at a dead phone: How do we bring this thing back to life? Magic? Live sacrifice? I know a guy in town-

~

Splinter, sniffling: Calm down, I’m probably not sick. It might just be allergies. April: Okay, tell me this: are you like, really tired? Splinter: I have depression, what do you think?

~

Huginn: Today at 7 am, Muninn poured a Monster energy drink in his coffee, said "I'm going to die" and drank the whole thing. Draxum: I watched Muninn brew his coffee with Monster instead of water. Three cups in two hours. I think he ascended into the astral realm. Big Mama: The survivability of the gargoyle race never fails to amaze me.

~

Baxter: My ultimate goal is to punch God in the eye, just to spite him one last time.

~

Repo: If I was married to you I would put poison in your coffee. Meat Sweats: If I was married to you I’d drink it.

~

Donnie: You know the sound a fork makes in the garbage disposal? That's the sound that my brain makes all the time.

~

April: So we're gonna read what we wrote down so we can tell everyone in the class something about ourselves. Raph: Okay, my name is Raph but you can refer to me as Lord Farquad. April: Okay that's not happening- how about you! Mikey: I'm Mikey and I like the movie White Chicks! April: ...Okay... whatever, I respect that. Donnie: My name is Donnie and I hate this place, it actually sucks here... April: Okay... and you... Leo: *nervous* Uhhh my name is Person E and my favorite color is... math.

Incorrect Quotes Shenanigans: Part 11

Raph: Yeah I'm LGBT. Raph: cuLt leader. Raph: God hates me personally. Raph: cowBoy hat. Raph: *sniffles* Trying my best.

~

Donnie: Vegetable oil is made from vegetables, coconut oil is made from coconuts, so BABY OIL- April: CAN'T WE JUST HAVE A NICE FAMILY DINNER FOR ONCE?!

~

Leo: Look at the buns on that guy! Hueso: *lying on the floor, covered in hamburger buns* Mikey: This is the comedy police! The joke's too funny! Leo: I'm not going back to jail!

~

Casey II, pointing to the wall: What color is this? Splinter: Gray. Cassandra: Grey. Casey II, turning to Draxum: Now tell them what color you think it is. Draxum: Dark white.

~

Repo: You're just jealous. All my friends tell me I remind them of Hypno. The Squad: *screaming* Ghost Bear: He looks like Hypno? Are you out of your fucking MIND? Warren: Hypno, sweetie, I am SO sorry. I am SO SORRY that an ugly-ass bitch like this would even say that. Oh my god. Ghost Bear: Hypno? Hypno? Hypno? You know who you fucking look like? You fucking look like Albearto!

~

Bullhop: Every time I hear someone talking about updog, I’m torn between not wanting to fall for it and wanting to help them complete their joke. Honey Badger: Okay, but what is updog? Groundhog: Updog is a long sausage in a bun, often served with ketchup, mustard, onions, and/or relish. Prairie Dog: No, that’s a hot dog. An updog is when a new version or patch of an application is released. Todd: No, that's an update. You’re thinking of the fourth largest city in Sweden. Sunita: Surely, that’s Uppsala, where’s updog is the giant spider in Harry Potter. Bullhop: That’s Aragog. Updog is a symbol conventionally used for an arbitrarily small number in analysis proofs. Prairie Dog: You’re thinking of epsilon. Updog is an upward-moving air current. Groundhog: No, that’s an updraft. An updog is the modern version of a henway. Honey Badger: What’s a henway?? Bullhop: Oh, about five pounds.

~

Leo: No, I don't want to talk about physics! I don't know anything about the laws of physics because they are hard and boring. I simply would like them to behave in a way that is most convenient to ME and MY LIFE! Is that really asking too much? Donnie: Yes, as a matter of fact, it is! Leo: Well, guess what? Science is stupid bullshit!! Donnie: You take that back!!! Leo: No. Magic is awesome. Science blows. The end.

Original Incorrect Quotes Shenanigans: Back to School Edition

I don't wanna go back to school, but classes start again this week, so I have to... Maybe this will motivate me a little. Like my other original incorrect quotes stuff, these are based on things that I have experienced in real life. Enjoy. :)

~

Splinter: Good morning, everyone. For today's lesson, we have-- Leo: *rides in on a scooter board he "borrowed" from the gym* Splinter: Leo: Leo: ...Hey.

~

April: Okay, guys, we need to focus if we're all gonna pass this test. Let's get to studying. Donnie, 5 minutes later: Hey, check this out. I found a personality quiz telling you which U.S. president you'd be. [The entire class rushes to take this quiz, derailing the study session for the rest of the allotted time.]

~

Voice over the gymnasium speaker: The FitnessGram Pacer test is a multistage aerobic capacity test that progressively gets more difficult as it continues. The 20 meter pacer test will begin... ~ Mikey: *collapses onto the floor after about ten laps* Raph: *still Naruto running across the gym after fifty laps* Mikey: ...Showoff... :p

~

Draxum: To demonstrate just how easily diseases can spread, we're going to do a short experiment. As you can see, each of you has been given a vial. One of them is "diseased" with a chemical that will turn pink upon testing. You must share the contents of your vial with three others. Any questions? No? Then get to it. Mikey: TURTLE SWAP GO!!! [All the turtles share their vials' contents with each other. Somehow, none of them get "infected."] Draxum: ...Okay, how?

~

Leo, on his third can of Bang Energy in half an hour: *bobbing his leg up and down at record speed* Whoo! Man, I feel alive! Big Mama: ...Leo, do you need to go see the nurse? Leo: Nah, I'm cool! Never better! I'll be fine! Big Mama: ...O...kay... *takes a sip of coffee* Anyway, on to the War of 1812--

~

[During a mini chess tournament in their Spanish class] Casey II: *captura una de las torres de Donnie usando su reina, poniéndola en frente de la reina de Donnie* Aha! Donnie, sin emoción: *usa su reina para capturar a la reina de Casey II* Casey II: ...Oh. ଵ˛̼ଵ

~

Raph, after injecting a sea urchin with some kind of chemical to make it release its sperm/eggs: *curled up on the floor, shaking a bit* I think I hurt it... I mean, it's gonna die anyway, but I think the needle hurt it... April: Hey, it's gonna be okay. It's gonna be fine, and you're gonna be fine, okay? Draxum: *approaches, only to examine the sea urchin* Wow, look at it go! You two must have some kind of super-male! *leaves without doing anything else* April: Pfft-- Raph: WHAT WAS THAT SUPPOSED TO MEAN?!

Incorrect Quotes Generator Shenanigans: Part 17

Mikey: Today, Leo took my phone, and in five minutes, they sent high resolution close-up photos of Casey II to the following people: Raph, Donnie, April, the neighbors, the bank, my accountant, San Diego Blood Bank, and Shake Shack's text bot.

~

Cassandra: Ask me anything. Go ahead, I'll give you a straight answer. Sunita: Why are we so fucking awesome? Cassandra: That's the best fucking question anybody's ever asked.

~

Draxum: Sometimes I like to place my hands on someone’s cheeks, look into their eyes... Draxum: ...And violently jerk their head until it snaps. Muninn: ...That took an unexpected turn. Huginn: So did their neck.

~

Warren: Which country has the most birds? Warren: Portu-geese! Meat Sweats: That's a language. Warren: Portu-gull? Meat Sweats: Good recovery. Repo: I think you mean good re-dovery. Hypno: TURKEY. HOW DID WE MISS TURKEY?

~

Otto von Bearto: Problem, I can't tell if this food is over-sauced or undercooked. Bayou 'Bearto: Solution, just pop it back in the oven for another 10 minutes. There's at least a 50% chance that'll fix it, right? Albearto: Result? Food has somehow become unpleasantly soggy and unpleasantly crunchy at the exact same time. Chef Albéar: No better time than this to pull out my favorite word! Slunchy! Al-beardo: ...put it away.

~

Baxter on Monday: *glues a dime to the sidewalk* Heh heh heh. Baxter on Wednesday: *walking down the street* Ooh hey! A dime!

~

Big Mama: You are irrationally angry 365 days a year. Draxum: Well, that’s just your personal opinion, I don’t have anger issues. Do you guys think I have anger issues? Splinter: Well, I wouldn’t really call it an issue. An issue is something you can fix.

Incorrect Quotes Generator Shenanigans: Part 18

April, having recently lost her glasses: KILL THE BUG!!! Warren: ....That’s a gecko—

~

Casey II: I have so much energy, I want to run a marathon or commit a crime... which should I do? Leo: Please don’t get arrested. Casey II: No promises! <3 Mikey: Why not both? Get creative! Casey II: Wonderful suggestion, thank you. Leo: Please don’t encourage him, Mikey.

~

Raph: Dandelions symbolize everything I want to be in life. Splinter: Fluffy and dead with a gust of wind? Raph: Unapologetic. Hard to kill. Feral, filled with sunlight, bright, beautiful in a way that the conventional and controlling hate but cannot ever fully destroy. Stubborn. Happy. Bastardous. Friends with bees. Highly disapproving of lawns. Full of wishes that will be carried far after I die. Donnie: Edible.

~

Repo: I would do anything for money. *later* Repo, covered in blood: THE STATEMENT STILL STANDS!

~

Cassandra: How do tall people people possibly sleep at night when the blanket can't possibly cover you? Draxum: Cassandra, it's four o'clock in the morning. Cassandra: So, you can't sleep, huh? Is it because of the blanket?

~

Karai, writing in her diary with a glitter gel pen: I'm losing my sense of humanity. Nothing matters. God is dead. There's blood on my hands.

~

Donnie: Dracula had it right, sleep all day, live alone in a castle, and explode into bats to get out of all social situations.

We just need indigo, and then we have a whole rainbow. Very nice. :)

"My headcanon is that April's signature color jumped from green to yellow and vice versa. But now after the movie, her signature color is yellow and green now belongs to Casey Jr."

Owwww…my heart. My soul is shattered. For the record before you read this one, I’m sorry. This chapter hurt to write. But please enjoy…

i like them a normal amount

I LOVE CASEY JONES AND CASEY JONES and Barry, I guess

sassy Cass

EXTREME VENOMVERSE CALLED, THEY WANT THEIR EVERYTHING BACK.

and here is a sketch i made as fast as i could to nail down an idea first lol, plus you get to see some extra stuff and other details better and like changes i made and shit

also 2012 casey is very obiously gwenom inspired lmaoo my bad gang it all started because i love the gwenom design

also

i wanted to make more versions with other caseys and draw the mikeys and shit (because the hundred spiderman and mikey ships eat my brain like an ameba) but my HAND HURTS SOO MUCH i will die<3

So...Christmas was yesterday and I also watched the Rise of the TMNT movie for the third or fourth time yesterday, as well as browsing general TMNT fanart. And it got me thinking on how maybe during Christmas, Raph would probably dress up as Santa Claus, mostly because he likes the idea of being the big jolly man for kids' holiday cheer. Most Raphael may be a bit of a jerk, but he's not someone who would be mean to kids for little to no reason.

This also crossed my mind even though the holiday has been done for over a month or two. Maybe one Halloween, the Rise version of the Turtles, April, and Casey decide to so a group costume thing for Halloween. I imagine Raphael would usually call dibs on Mario, but decided to switch it up as Bowser one year. Leonardo could be Troll Toad, I mean Blue Toad, while Donatello and Michelangelo are Waluigi and Wario, wanting to keep color coded, at least somewhat. Meanwhile April and Cassandra are Daisy and Peach respectively, figuring "you know what, three heroes and three villains of the Mario series."

They are besties, your honor