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Incorrect Quotes Generator Shenanigans: Part 6

Meat Sweats: Y’know, maybe things aren’t so bad. I’m here. I got the nice ocean breeze. Just alone with my thoughts. Mikey: Hey, Meat Sweats. Meat Sweats: GODDAMNIT!

~

Dastardly Danny, setting down a card: Ace of spades. Malicious Mickey, pulling out an Uno card: +4. Loathsome Leonard, pulling out a Pokémon card: Jolteon, I choose you! Raph, trembling: What are we playing?!

~

Donnie: How do you want your coffee? Leo: Black, like my soul. Donnie: Donnie: Leo, your soul is a latte.

~

Cassandra: And here we see Casey II and April in their natural habitat. Texting eachother variations of the word "garlic bread" to try to make eachother laugh. Casey II: Gaelic bread. April: Grueling brad. Casey II: Ha ha, glamorous beans.

~

Draxum: Splinter has never seen Star Wars? Big Mama, the only people in the universe who haven’t seen Star Wars are the characters in Star Wars and that’s cause they lived them, Big Mama! That’s cause they lived the Star Wars!

~

Hypno: Reality is an illusion, the universe is a hologram, buy gold, bye!

~

Huginn, holding a scooter: Muninn! Can I go outside and play with this? Muninn: Sure, whatever. I'm not your parent, okay? Huginn, running outside: Thanks Muninn! Muninn, running out after them and screaming: NOT ON THE STREET! STAY AWAY!

~

Sunita: I don’t think the therapist is supposed to say ‘wow’ that many times during their first session with a client, but here we are.

~

Ghost Bear, explaining why they are not allowed to cook: I put the noodles in the pot and put the pot on the stove and turned the burner on high. Turns out you don't put noodles in marijuana and I almost burnt the whole house down.

Original Incorrect Quotes Shenanigans: ~Games Edition~

[Disney Villainous]

Mikey, as Prince John: And just what do you think you're doing with all that Power, Donald?

Donnie, as Captain Hook: No, you see, I need money so I can hire people to beat the crap out of this child.

Raph, as Pete: I'm sorry, WHAT--

April, as Jafar: *wHEEZE*

Leo, as Yzma: *typing on his phone* How...much...does it cost...to kill...a child?

Raph: LEO!!!! DO YOU WANT TO WIND UP ON SOME KIND OF WATCH LIST?!

~

[Mario Kart Wii]

Warren, passing the first-place CPU at the beginning of the third lap: MWAHAHAHAHA! Eat my dust, loser!

[Cue lightning, followed by a blue shell, followed by a red shell, and being run over by someone using a Mega Mushroom just to add insult to injury]

Warren: Are. You. KIDDING ME?! YOU HAVE JUST MADE YOURSELF A POWERFUL ENEMY, BABY PEACH!!

~

[Sorry!]

Splinter, bumping one of Draxum's pieces back to its starting point: Oops! Sorry~!

Draxum: You don't seem too sorry about it...

~

[Monopoly]

Meat Sweats: And just how do you already own half the board?

Repo, very smugly: I got good business sense, is all.

Meat Sweats: No one's even traded anything yet!!! I think the stupid game's rigged...

Repo: Ah, you're only sayin' that 'cause you've been sent to jail five times, and I haven't. Maybe you'd have more property if yous wasn't a wanted criminal~

Meat Sweats: Well, maybe you'd be serving a bit more time if you didn't always conveniently have a "get out of jail free" card with you...

~

[Mario Party Superstars]

Cassandra, on the 3-player side of Tug of War: *violently rotating the joystick on her controller* MY PALM MAY BE BURNING WITH THE FURY OF THE SUN, BUT I! WILL! NOT! LOSE!!!

Sunita, as the single player: *also violently rotating her joystick* Well, I sure as heck don't intend to lose, either!! ...Even if I am also in a world of pain...!

~

[Pandemic]

Todd: Okay, so, how many outbreaks do we have until we lose?

Bullhop, flipping over the top card of the infection deck: Gah, it's Istanbul...but it's not over yet! We've still got another outbreak until we're done. We just need to--wait, it's connected to Karachi, isn't it? ... *deep sigh* It's over. We just lost...

Todd: ...Oh. Oh... *sniffles* We failed the entire planet...!

Bullhop: *hugs Todd* It's okay. Everyone else may be dead, but we still have each other.

~

[Ticket to Ride]

Hypno: What do you mean I can't build a railway from Paris to Zurich?! I have three cards of the same color! That's how it works for everything else!!

Muninn, flipping through the rulebook: Let's see... With tunnels, you need to draw three cards from the deck to see if they match what you're going to play. If they do, you need to play that many additional cards.

Hypno: ...

Huginn: Yeah, it's just as stupid as it sounds.

Hypno: I'll say...

Original Incorrect Quotes Shenanigans: ~"Me and My Friends Being Stupid" Edition~

Preface: One of my weird habits is to take my fandoms and "assign" myself and my friends to characters within the series. I have, of course, done this with Rise (one guess as to who I am). The following incorrect quotes are inspired by stupid things that my friends and I have done together, with the character roles based on my little "assignments." Enjoy.

~

Mikey, reading a book across the room from Leo:

Leo: *throws his wallet at Mikey*

Mikey: OW!!! What the heck, man?!

Leo: I'm sorry! I just wanted to get your attention!

Mikey: ...And you didn't think to just walk up to me and tap me on the shoulder or something?

Leo:

~

April: I know I have to go back to class tomorrow, but for now, I'm just glad I get to chill with you guys.

Donnie, pouring cold water into a cup of Kraft macaroni and cheese: You can say that again.

April:

Donnie:

Raph: ...You okay there?

Donnie: ...I thought cold water would work the same as hot water. I don't know why.

~

Donnie: *driving the rest of the Mad Dogs to Dollar General in the Turtle Tank*

Raph: Whoa... Donnie, how are you doing that?

Donnie: Doing what?

Raph: Your speedometer's at 45 and just...staying there.

Donnie: Uh... I'm following the speed limit. Is this not what happens when you drive?

Raph: Well, uh--

Leo, in a resigned and slightly fearful tone: No. It's not.

~

The Mad Dogs: *having a Nerf (not strictly Nerf brand) battle*

Mikey, running around like a madman: AAAAAAAH! Ahahahaha!

Leo: *steps in front of Mikey with a fully-loaded Sidewinder* Any last words, Michael?

Mikey: Aah, I don't know--!!!

Donnie: *fires at Leo from across the room with an Exterminator, just barely missing him due to the dart curving in the air*

Leo: AAAH!

Mikey: *takes out a very cleverly hidden Jolt, then fires at Leo's leg*

Leo: Nooooooo! *dramatically pretends to die*

Mikey: ...Huh. I guess I don't need to think of any last words after all!

~

April, texting Leo: "Hey, you wanna come to dinner?"

Leo, knowing full well that she means "with the rest of us": "o//////o"

April: "Bruh"

~

April: *shuffling things around under Mikey's bed*

Mikey: *enters the room* ...Uh, hey. What are you doing?

April: Nothing...~

Mikey: ...Are you hiding another bag of cookies under my bed...?

April:

Mikey:

April:

Mikey: ...April, I swear to Pizza Supreme in the Sky--

~

Raph and Donnie, playing Cuphead together: *fighting Cagney Carnation*

Donnie, playing as Cuphead: *gets hit by a stray seed for the fourth time in a row* AAH! No...!

Raph, playing as Mugman: It's okay, I've got you! *tries to parry Cuphead's soul, but fails because it's flying upward too fast*

Donnie: Avenge me, brother...!

Raph: Oh, you bet I will. This stupid flower's going DOWN!

Spunky Guardian Sailor April

Rounding out both the Mad Dogs and the Inner Senshi, here's April!

Sailor Mars' aggressive combat style matches well with April's love of nonstop action. Also, though this might be a bit of a stretch, the way April connected with Karai's spirit sort of brought Rei's psychic powers to mind.

Maybe I'll do a Tokyo Mew Mew series of Rise "cosplay" drawings soon. (I may or may not have also found the first of Kodansha's four TMM omnibuses yesterday... ^^')

Incorrect Quotes Generator Shenanigans: Part 8

Splinter: Hey, wanna hear a funny joke? Cassandra: I only like dark humor. Splinter, turning the lights off: What do you call a fake noodle? Cassandra: Splinter: An IMPASTA!

~

Leo: I’m sick and tired of being called 'mortal' like, you don’t know that. Neither do I. I have never died even ONCE. Nothing has been proven yet. Stop making assumptions. It’s rude.

~

Donnie: Get in loser, we're going shopping. April: This is a McDonald's drive thru.

~

S.H.E.L.L.D.O.N: I have no respect for Santa. Don’t sneak in through the chimney and undermine my authority by bringing my family presents. Walk in through the front door and fight me like a man.

~

Todd: If you get in trouble, I'm gonna be like... a lawyer to you. Ok? Mikey: Okay. *later* Raph: Mikey! Sit down on the chair, you're in trouble. Todd, whispering: Deny everything. Mikey, loudly: That isn't a chair.

~

Piel: The Ocean is a soup. Hueso: Hueso: Do elaborate. Piel: What are needed for something to be a soup? Hueso: Erm... Water, salt, some form of vegetation, and personally I prefer some meat in mine. Piel: *Tilts head* Hueso: The Ocean is a Soup. Piel: The Ocean is a Soup.

~

Meat Sweats, walking into their house: Hello, people who do not live here. Hypno: Hey. Big Mama: Hi. Repo: Hello. Warren: Hey! Meat Sweats: I gave you the key to my place for emergencies only! Draxum: We were out of Doritos.

Incorrect Quotes Generator Shenanigans: Part ~10~

Mikey: Raph, do you love me? Raph: Of course I do! Mikey: Would you still love me if I did something bad? Raph: Well, of course I… would… Mikey: I mean something really, really— Raph: Mikey, what did you do?

~

Leo: We’re playing Scrabble. It’s a nightmare. Casey II: Scrabble? Scrabble’s great. Leo: Not when you’re playing with Cassandra, it’s not. She puts words like “ephemeral” and I put “dog.”

~

Warren, looking at a dead phone: How do we bring this thing back to life? Magic? Live sacrifice? I know a guy in town-

~

Splinter, sniffling: Calm down, I’m probably not sick. It might just be allergies. April: Okay, tell me this: are you like, really tired? Splinter: I have depression, what do you think?

~

Huginn: Today at 7 am, Muninn poured a Monster energy drink in his coffee, said "I'm going to die" and drank the whole thing. Draxum: I watched Muninn brew his coffee with Monster instead of water. Three cups in two hours. I think he ascended into the astral realm. Big Mama: The survivability of the gargoyle race never fails to amaze me.

~

Baxter: My ultimate goal is to punch God in the eye, just to spite him one last time.

~

Repo: If I was married to you I would put poison in your coffee. Meat Sweats: If I was married to you I’d drink it.

~

Donnie: You know the sound a fork makes in the garbage disposal? That's the sound that my brain makes all the time.

~

April: So we're gonna read what we wrote down so we can tell everyone in the class something about ourselves. Raph: Okay, my name is Raph but you can refer to me as Lord Farquad. April: Okay that's not happening- how about you! Mikey: I'm Mikey and I like the movie White Chicks! April: ...Okay... whatever, I respect that. Donnie: My name is Donnie and I hate this place, it actually sucks here... April: Okay... and you... Leo: *nervous* Uhhh my name is Person E and my favorite color is... math.

Strength and Resilience

Rounding out the crew is April...and I just realized that if I had simply switched Mikey and Donnie around, I would have focused on each character in order from youngest to oldest. (Minus Splinter, who was kind of a spur-of-the-moment thing.)

Also, a disclaimer. I don't know if this needs to be said (I hope it doesn't), but just in case, don't look to turtles for medical care. See actual doctors.

~

After an intense argument and a brief yet heartfelt reconciliation, Leonardo and Regiomontanus reenter the lair's common area with Raphael, only to find that the remainder of the group has sealed Pandemic away in its box. Gio feels their face flush with embarrassment and immediately ducks behind Raph; they may not differ much in height, but the snapping turtle's wide, muscular build provides a sense of security. "Guys, you didn't have to do that," they barely manage to say. "I could've gotten it. I mean, I'm the one who made this whole mess..."

"Hey, it's cool. We didn't want you to have to deal with it on top of managing your emotional situation," asserts April.

"Besides," Donatello adds, "with the way everything was going, we figured it'd be better to try something else."

"Okay, if you say so..." Reluctantly, Gio stops hiding. They posit, "But what do you have in mind?"

After some discussion, the group settles on Truth or Dare--one of the ultimate party games. It can provide answers to burning questions, generate comedy through ridiculous challenges, and introduce levity into an otherwise muted atmosphere. In this particular instance, it is a convenient icebreaker that can truly integrate Gio into the rest of the group; April still needs to get to know them, after all. Donnie pulls out his phone, enters everyone's names into a random selection algorithm, and lets fate take the wheel as he taps the screen once more. "Okay, first up is...Leo!" the softshell declares. "Truth or dare?"

"Dare, obviously," Leo replies.

Donnie thinks for a moment, then lights up as an evil grin spreads across his face. "I dare you to gargle with mayonnaise."

"On it!" Leo darts out of the room, returning mere seconds later with a tube of mayonnaise. He returns to his seat and squeezes the condiment into the back of his mouth. He manages to gargle for perhaps two seconds, then leans forward and coughs forcefully. Between coughs, he sputters, "Donnie...you're a monster..."

"I know." He relishes in his diabolical dare for a moment, then retrieves a glass of water for his suffering brother. The red-eared slider daintily sips the water as he attempts to recover. Once he recollects himself, he considers who the next victim should be. "Hmm... Mikey, I choose you! Truth or dare?"

Not wanting to end up like Leo, Michelangelo responds with an enthusiastic "Truth!"

"Ooh, I've got a good one! What's the last thing you learned wasn't true that you thought was?"

"The last thing? Hmm... This is gonna be totally embarrassing, but I only found out last night that you don't taste different flavors with different parts of your tongue."

"Wait, what? But you're, like, the chef of the family! You're always tasting stuff!"

"I know! I guess I just wasn't paying attention," Mikey says with a chuckle. "Okay, let's see... Gio! Truth or dare?"

"Hmm... Dare," they decide.

"Dare..." Mikey's head sinks into his shell a bit as he tries to think of a good challenge. "Dare, dare... Oh!" His head emerges again. "Here's one! I dare you to listen to the same song ten times in a row."

"Easy--"

"Of my choice. And I have just the one~"

"...Oh boy."

The box turtle types furiously on his phone, then places it beside Gio and plays the video he has found. From the speakers, Tom Jones' "What's New Pussycat?" begins to emanate. The rest of the group erupts in laughter as Gio looks on with a combination of amusement and dread. After a few seconds, they remember that it's their turn to select the next contestant. "Alright, let's see... April, you haven't gone yet. Truth or dare?"

"I'll go with...truth," April responds.

"Okay...hmm..." Gio considers their options for a moment, then settles on, "What's the most embarrassing thing you've accidentally texted someone?"

"Oh, no... Oh, no...! Okay, so, in my defense, I was really tired at the time. But one of my bosses wanted to check and see when I'd be able to work, and do you know what I responded with?"

"...No, what?"

"A picture of Donnie T-posing, edited to have glowing eyes and a huge forehead--like, ten times the size of the rest of his head. Needless to say, I wasn't working for them anymore."

"...Oh... Oh...no..."

"...Yikes. I knew it was embarrassing, but was it really that--"

Before April can continue, Gio collapses onto the ground and begins convulsing. Everyone else freezes in place, panicked, unsure of how to react. April is the first to clear her mind and spur the others into action. "Leo, Donnie, ready the med bay. Mikey, get Splints. Raph, you and I will stay here with Gio. Got it?"

The turtle brothers all give various responses of affirmation, then hurry to their stations. Donnie and Leo barrel across the room into a connected sector marked with a white cross. Mikey sprints outside, toward the TV room. April and Raph remain beside Gio to monitor them. Approximately one minute later, when the sea turtle regains consciousness, they are surrounded by April, Raph, Mikey, and Master Splinter. They hear sounds coming out of everyone's mouths, but it all sounds like gibberish. Their attempts at a response are garbled babbling. Even their own thoughts are merely a string of nonsense. Before they can process much else, they are assisted onto a gurney by Raph and April, and wheeled into the medical bay by Leo and Donnie.

Five minutes later, however stunted, Gio's linguistic abilities return. Their first question is, "...Where...am I...?"

April, who had been sitting beside the gurney, sighs with relief. "Okay, good, you can talk again. So... You're in the lair's medical bay. We're all gonna do what we can to take care of you until you feel better, okay?"

"It's just a...a seizure. I'll be fine..." Gio attempts to sit up, only to immediately curl up and clutch their head. "Ow..."

"Headache?"

"Y...yeah..."

"I'll let Leo know." She gets up and walks across the room, tapping Leo on the shoulder when she arrives at his location. After a brief conversation between the two, April returns to the gurney. Leo arrives a couple minutes later, wheeling an IV bag beside him. "Okay, Gigi, we've got something special here for you," he says. "I like to call it a 'migraine cocktail.' It'll fix your headache in no time."

Wary, Gio asks, "Are you...like...trained...to do this kind of...of stuff...?"

"Trained enough to keep us out of actual hospitals." He smirks, then takes on a slightly more serious demeanor. "Seriously, though, you'll be fine. I know what I'm doing, I promise."

"Okay...if you say so..."

Leo carefully inserts the IV line in a vein in Gio's left arm, then leaves to retrieve the others. In the meantime, Gio turns to April. "Thank you," they say.

April stares at them, slightly surprised. "For what?"

"For...for staying here with me. I haven't...haven't had a seizure that bad in a couple years. I kinda forgot how scary it was..."

"Aww, it's nothing!"

"N-no, it really is something... It means a lot to me. Again...thank you."

April pauses, then smiles. "You're welcome, Gio."

When Leo returns with his brothers and Splinter, Gio receives a maelstrom of concern and questions. "Are you okay?" "Why couldn't you speak?" "What even happened?"

Gio clutches their head once more. April notices their pain and stress, taking charge once more to restore order. "Okay, okay, one at a time, guys..." she directs.

"Could someone please tell me what happened?" Splinter requests frantically.

"I...I had a seizure while we were playing Truth or Dare..." answers Gio.

"Are you okay now?" Mikey asks.

"Yeah, mostly. I'm still stuttering a little, and...and I have a heck of a headache...but I'm doing better now..."

"Good," he replies, hugging them in the process.

"On the topic of your speech," Donnie interjects, "what happened? The others told me you couldn't respond to them when you first woke up."

"Okay, so... The doctors never gave me an official reason... I did some digging around online, and take...take this with a grain of salt since it isn't official, but I think I have something called Todd's Paralysis. It's a form of par...temporary paralysis that can happen with epilepsy... In my case, it happened to my legs once, but now it happens with my speech and language processing..."

"Hmm... Interesting..."

"Wait, epilepsy?!" Raph exclaims. "Why didn't you tell us you had epilepsy? We need to know this kind of stuff if we're going to be good brothers to you...!"

"I didn't think it would come up...but I guess I have been slacking on my medicine lately...and I guess all the excitement from game night kinda pushed me over the edge... I should have seen it coming... I should have told you... I...I'm sorry, guys..."

Raph sighs, then pats Gio on the head. "Just don't hide any more important stuff like this from us, okay?"

"Ow... Okay..."

Everyone goes silent for a moment, until April has an idea. "You know what, guys?"

"What?" Mikey responds.

"There isn't anything stopping us from continuing our game of Truth or Dare here--if Gio's up for it. I think I get to choose someone next anyway~"

"Hey, you're right! What do you think, Gio?" asks Mikey.

"I dunno if I'll be able to do many dares, but...sure," they reply with a small smile.

"If you don't mind," Splinter inquires, "may I also play? 'Scorpion Treadmill' doesn't come on for another hour or so...and...I'd like to spend some quality time with my children."

The turtle brothers immediately pile on their father, pulling him and April into a massive group hug. In unison, they all shout, "Yes!" With that, game night resumes once more.

Incorrect Quotes Generator Shenanigans: Part 13

Splinter: I’m quick at math. Donnie: Ok, what’s 38 times 76? Splinter: 24. Donnie: That wasn’t even close. Splinter: But it was quick.

~

Draxum: If I make you breakfast in bed, a simple "thank you" is all I need. Draxum: Not all this "how did you get into my house" business.

~

Leo: We have fun, don’t we, Hueso? Hueso: I have never been more stressed out in my entire life.

~

Ghost Bear: I am your king, long may I reign! Albearto: Well I didn’t vote for you! Ghost Bear: You don’t vote for kings. Albearto: Well how’d you become king then? Ghost Bear: Baxter of the Lake, their arm clad in the purest shimmering samite, held aloft Excalibur from the bosom of the water, signifying by divine providence that I, Ghost Bear, was to carry Excalibur. That is why I am your king. Albearto: Listen. Strange people lying in ponds distributing swords is no basis for a system of government. Supreme executive power derives from a mandate from the masses, not from some farcical aquatic ceremony.

~

*At a bank teller window* Warren, in a bad Italian accent: I'd like-a to make-a da deposit! April: HEY BUDDY, WAIT, I REMEMBER YOU! Warren: *Frantically pours marinara sauce into the vacuum tube* April: GODDAMMIT, IT'S THEM AGAIN!

~

Raph: Everyone, calm down! We're grown-ups, let's deal with this like adults! Sunita: So, we're just going to wing it and hope for the best? Raph: Obviously. Now, Todd, pass the shovel.

~

Donnie: Hey, can we stay in your dorm tonight? Leo: Why? Donnie: Raph fiddled with an ouija board and cursed ours. Big Mama: Mikey doesn't know how to banish spirits, so they just throw salt at them and yell "DOES THIS LOOK LIKE A HOTEL TO YOU?!"

Incorrect Quotes Generator Shenanigans: Part 14

Mikey: I wasn't hurt that badly. The doctor said all my bleeding was internal, that's where the blood's supposed to be!

~

Big Mama: What are you two arguing about this time? Draxum: He's always using common phrases incorrectly! Splinter: Cry me a table, Draxum.

~

Leo: Hey, wanna help me commit arson? Casey II: What the hell!? Leo: Oh, sorry, my bad. Leo, whispering: Wanna help me commit arson? Casey II, whispering: Of course. What do you need?

~

Raph: *gets set on fire and screams in agony* Raph: Nah, I’m just kidding. Fire does nothing to me.

~

Ghost Bear: Albearto, we're hungry! Hypno: Albearto! What's for dinner? Warren: We're hungry, Albearto! Albearto, frying a bottle of ketchup over the stove: *screams*

~

Kendra: Is Donnie always like this when they lose? Jase: Oh, yes. You should've been there for the Great Jenga Tantrum of 2015. Donnie: You bumped that table and you know it!

~

April: Welcome to my very first vlog, in which I try different hair products! April: *sprays hairspray in her mouth* April: Well, right off the bat I can tell you this one is not very good.

Let's give the Mad Dogs some Night Raven College dorms.

I'm bored and sick (stupid cramps), and I've picked up Twisted Wonderland* again after taking a break from it. Naturally, my interests combined to create this monstrosity.

April - Scarabia

April is, in many ways, open to new experiences. She has acquired many of her skills by trying new things, and she's quite the daredevil. However, she takes care not to endanger herself or anyone around her when she partakes in risky activities. I consider both of these forms of mindfulness, Scarabia's exemplary trait.

Raph - Diasomnia

Raph, above most other things, wants to be a hero. His idea of heroism includes qualities like strength and kindness, and he works every day to step closer to that ideal. I think that fits Diasomnia's manifesto of nobility.

Leo - Pomefiore

He's the face man. The pretty-boy. Naturally, he'd fit in with Pomefiore's fixation on beauty. Pomefiore also places value in tenacity; though Leo may act somewhat lazy and careless at times, his tenacity shines when the stakes are high.

Donnie - Ignihyde

I mean, duh. The boy has techno magic, and he's a huge nerd. Ignihyde fits him like a glove. Putting that aside, this dorm also values diligence above all else. Donnie's got plenty of that. How else would he be able to make so many things in so little time? How else would he be able to devise solutions for even the most difficult of problems?

Mikey - Octavinelle

Though our resident mermen may act in ways that no one on Earth would consider well-meaning, Octavinelle is founded on benevolence. That fits Mikey to a T. He does so much to support his family, and he's willing to give almost everyone a second chance--even the villains.

So yeah. This is a thing.

As for me, the official website "sorted" me into Savanaclaw, but my most common results on fanmade personality quizzes are Ignihyde, Octavinelle, and Scarabia. How about you guys?

*For anyone who hasn't heard of Twisted Wonderland, it's one of many, many gacha games. It's basically Disney villains reimagined as anime pretty-boys by Yana Toboso (yes, "creator of Black Butler" Yana Toboso)...and there's also a weird cat thing with blue fire coming out of its ears. It's just as ridiculous as it sounds. No dating sim stuff, though (thank goodness). It's just unadulterated chaos.

Incorrect Quotes Generator Shenanigans: Part 15

Repo: BEHOLD, the field in which I grow my fucks! Lay thine eyes upon it, and thou shalt see that it is barren!

~

Leo: Here is my wall of inspirational people. Mikey: Is that a picture of you? Leo: Yes, I am big enough to admit that I am often inspired by myself.

~

Splinter: You call it "really bad at darts", I call it "freestyle acupuncture." Bartender: ...I'm going to have to ask you to leave the bar.

~

Bullhop: Why would you give a knife to Todd?! April, shrugging: Todd felt unsafe. Bullhop: Now I feel unsafe! April: I’m sorry… April: Would you like a knife?

~

Mikey: Social distancing says you shouldn't be within an elbow's distance of each other. *later, in a barfight* Mikey: Social distancing doesn't say nothing about feet! *kicks opponent in the face*

~

Hypno: OKAY, YOU KNOW WHAT?! TIME OUT! GET ON TOP OF THE FRIDGE! GET UP THERE! Meat Sweats: *Climbing* THIS HOUSE IS A FUCKING NIGHTMARE!!!

~

Raph: Are you reading fan fiction? Donnie, reading an article about extremely rare diseases: Wh- No. Raph: Oh, is it on AO3? Donnie: This is CNN.

Incorrect Quotes Generator Shenanigans: Part 16

Leo: Heyyy Raph, how’s your… drink?? Raph: What do you mean drink? It’s coffee. Leo: You sure?? *Looks to coffee maker* Raph: *Looks to coffee maker* *Cement sitting beside the coffee maker* Raph:...I’m on my third fucking drink right now, I should be dead.

~

Warren: New year, same me. Because I'm perfect.

~

April: A sprite is anything not static. Splinter: A sprite is a variable object, be it 2d or 3d. Draxum: A sprite is a fucking soda. Draxum: You god damn geekass bastards.

~

Big Mama: Uh, I think I got your lunch. *Holds up a note that reads: ‘I am very proud of you. Love, Foot Lieutenant’* Foot Brute: Oh yeah. I didn’t think this was for me. *Holds up a note that reads: ‘Be good. For the love of God, Please be good.’*

~

Donnie: Caffeine no longer keeps me awake while I work, so instead I have Mikey periodically send me texts saying ‘we need to talk.’ Donnie: It gives me the right amount of adrenaline and fear I need to keep going.

~

Hypno: The only thing I'm guilty of is being adorable... ...and also assault with a deadly weapon.

~

Mikey: *watching their house burn down* Mikey: Mikey: *starts filming* Waddup, guys, welcome to my vlog, today's topic: how to get away with accidentally committing arson because you forgot Spaghetti O's cans are metal and thus non-microwavable! Step one: deny everything.

Even though February started two days ago, I only had this idea today. So here you go. :)

Incorrect Quotes Generator Shenanigans: Part 17

Mikey: Today, Leo took my phone, and in five minutes, they sent high resolution close-up photos of Casey II to the following people: Raph, Donnie, April, the neighbors, the bank, my accountant, San Diego Blood Bank, and Shake Shack's text bot.

~

Cassandra: Ask me anything. Go ahead, I'll give you a straight answer. Sunita: Why are we so fucking awesome? Cassandra: That's the best fucking question anybody's ever asked.

~

Draxum: Sometimes I like to place my hands on someone’s cheeks, look into their eyes... Draxum: ...And violently jerk their head until it snaps. Muninn: ...That took an unexpected turn. Huginn: So did their neck.

~

Warren: Which country has the most birds? Warren: Portu-geese! Meat Sweats: That's a language. Warren: Portu-gull? Meat Sweats: Good recovery. Repo: I think you mean good re-dovery. Hypno: TURKEY. HOW DID WE MISS TURKEY?

~

Otto von Bearto: Problem, I can't tell if this food is over-sauced or undercooked. Bayou 'Bearto: Solution, just pop it back in the oven for another 10 minutes. There's at least a 50% chance that'll fix it, right? Albearto: Result? Food has somehow become unpleasantly soggy and unpleasantly crunchy at the exact same time. Chef Albéar: No better time than this to pull out my favorite word! Slunchy! Al-beardo: ...put it away.

~

Baxter on Monday: *glues a dime to the sidewalk* Heh heh heh. Baxter on Wednesday: *walking down the street* Ooh hey! A dime!

~

Big Mama: You are irrationally angry 365 days a year. Draxum: Well, that’s just your personal opinion, I don’t have anger issues. Do you guys think I have anger issues? Splinter: Well, I wouldn’t really call it an issue. An issue is something you can fix.

Guess who downloaded Among Us.

I know it's kind of a dead meme at this point, but it's pretty fun as long as you don't get stuck with the wrong people. I love being a crewmate, especially when I catch an impostor. I hate being an impostor because it's stressful. It's exciting, but I'm a horrible liar. I've gotten away with some dumb stuff, though.

Anyway, have this drawing. It looks kind of bad because I drew it in the dark during a movie we were watching in my psychology class.

And some captions. I didn't bother writing them on the paper because my handwriting is small and messy.

Regiomontanus (me): Guys, I was in navigation, I swear!

April: Oh, come on, Gio. You're literally shaking. You're even worse at lying than Donnie.

Donnie: ...Just for that, I'm voting you out, April.

Maybe I'll draw little crewmate beans for the turtles and April, too. :)

Incorrect Quotes Generator Shenanigans: Part 18

April, having recently lost her glasses: KILL THE BUG!!! Warren: ....That’s a gecko—

~

Casey II: I have so much energy, I want to run a marathon or commit a crime... which should I do? Leo: Please don’t get arrested. Casey II: No promises! <3 Mikey: Why not both? Get creative! Casey II: Wonderful suggestion, thank you. Leo: Please don’t encourage him, Mikey.

~

Raph: Dandelions symbolize everything I want to be in life. Splinter: Fluffy and dead with a gust of wind? Raph: Unapologetic. Hard to kill. Feral, filled with sunlight, bright, beautiful in a way that the conventional and controlling hate but cannot ever fully destroy. Stubborn. Happy. Bastardous. Friends with bees. Highly disapproving of lawns. Full of wishes that will be carried far after I die. Donnie: Edible.

~

Repo: I would do anything for money. *later* Repo, covered in blood: THE STATEMENT STILL STANDS!

~

Cassandra: How do tall people people possibly sleep at night when the blanket can't possibly cover you? Draxum: Cassandra, it's four o'clock in the morning. Cassandra: So, you can't sleep, huh? Is it because of the blanket?

~

Karai, writing in her diary with a glitter gel pen: I'm losing my sense of humanity. Nothing matters. God is dead. There's blood on my hands.

~

Donnie: Dracula had it right, sleep all day, live alone in a castle, and explode into bats to get out of all social situations.

I have a dumb idea.

Buzzfeed has AI quizzes now (AI is everywhere now for some reason), and this one caught my eye since I've always loved mermaids. And then I thought to relate it back to TMNT, because of course. I decided to take the quiz once for myself in character as Regiomontanus, once for each of the turtles, and once for April. These results may not be the most reliable out there, and the names are a little wacky since the quiz is likely assuming female takers, but it was fun. Here's what I got.

April

My mermaid name is Aprilla and my tail is a beautiful turquoise color, with tiny sparkles covering my fin. My sidekick is a Bottlenose Dolphin named Duke, who guides me all around the ocean. The city I live in is Coral Reef; it is home to dolphins, whales, and a variety of colorful fish. Every day I swim to all the different coral caves and explore the depths of the ocean. I enjoy swimming with the dolphins and playing tag among the sea stars. I also love talking to the mermaids and learning new magical tricks in our underwater kingdom.

Gio

My mermaid name is Regeo. My tail is a deep teal with streaks of bright pinks and oranges, shimmering and sparkling in the sunlit depths of the ocean. My sidekick is a brightly patterned Moorish Idol named Glitter. Together, we explore the wonders of the seafloor, from sunlit coral gardens to dark and mysterious trenches. From time to time, we visit the underwater city of Callemon, my home. There, I pass the time catching and trading seashells with fellow mermaids, racing through fields of swaying seaweed and zipping around the city on our scaly friends, sharing stories and secrets with friends old and new.

Raph

My life as a mermaid, Raphaelia, is filled with enchantment. My tail is a shimmering turquoise, with vibrant pink and orange scales along the upper half. I thrive in the underwater city of Nassquah, where I have many friends and adventures. My closest companion is a playful angelfish named Finn. We spend our days exploring sunken shipwrecks, swimming with dolphins, learning magical new spells, and chasing rainbows of color through vibrantly-hued coral reefs. We also love helping to protect our beautiful aquatic homes from pollution and fishing nets. In Nassquah, I'm never bored—my life is a continuous magical journey!

Leo

My mermaid name is Leonida and my tail is a majestic white and light blue combo that shimmers in the sun. My sidekick is a Nemo-like clownfish named Antonia. We regularly explore the ocean on whimsical journeys filled with exciting adventures. We usually return to our underwater city, Corallian, which is a small but vibrant town located in the depths of the Atlantic. During our time in Corallian, I often enjoy making music with my dolphin friends, searching for sunken treasure, and swimming in the shipwrecks littered in the bay.

Donnie

My mermaid name is Donatella, and my tail is a glittering turquoise and emerald mermaid tail with pearl scales. I live in the underwater city of Neptune Bay, which is home to a multitude of marine life. My sidekick is Pebbles, a small yellow and blue striped fish. In Neptune Bay, I enjoy swimming with dolphins and exploring the coral reefs. I have a number of mermaid friends and we often have singing contests with the fish and dolphins. Each night, I rest on a bed of white sand and gaze up at the twinkling stars. Life as a mermaid is liberating and I couldn't be happier.

Mikey

My name as a mermaid is Michelamar, and my tail is shimmering aquamarine with golden accents. I reside in the beautiful city of Atlanina, located on the seafloor, which is bustling with life and activity. My sidekick is Coralessa, a cheerful clownfish who loves to follow me around. I spend my days swimming around the many coral reefs, exploring the vast ocean and playing with the other fish. I often like to gather with other merfolk in the city and socialize, competing in various mermaid challenges such as tail races and pearl hunting. Other activities I enjoy are creating stunning sand sculptures and gazing at the starfish.

No kidding, I'm thinking of making an AU out of this. I may change some design details, too (because 5 out of 6 characters having blue-green tails is kind of lame), but merturtles is such a silly concept, I can't help but love it and want to make it a thing.

What do you guys think?

Squaring up for the @autismswagsummit vote today

I know I already posted Donnie propaganda last night, but every vote counts! Go vote when the polls open up!

Incorrect Quotes Generator Shenanigans: Part 19

April: Why is Mikey crying? Leo: He saw a leaf on the sidewalk and- Mikey: IT LOOKED SO CRUNCHY! April: Please don’t say what I think you’re gonna say- Mikey: AND WHEN I STEPPED ON IT THERE WAS NO CRUNCH! April: NO, NOT THAT!

~

Splinter: Valentines Day? I'm ready. *Sprays an entire can of AXE body spray on himself*

~

Raph: You made enough pasta that you could take it to lunch tomorrow. Put it in a container. Todd: Shovel the pasta into your face. Do it. Put it in your face. The future is meaningless but the pasta is now.

~

Big Mama, teaching Foot Lieutenant to drive: Okay, you're driving and Foot Brute and Draxum walk into the road. Quick, what do you hit? Foot Lieutenant: Oh, definitely Draxum. I could never hurt Foot Brute. Big Mama, massaging her temples: The brakes. You hit the brakes.

~

Warren: .. .----. -- / … --- .-. .-. -.-- (translation: I'M SORRY) Hypno: What's that? Warren: Remorse code. Hypno: I'm even angrier now.

~

Jupiter Jim: So I can either do something dumb that could very well get me injured or I can listen to Red Fox and not do the thing, Jupiter Jim: Well there’s a clear right answer here. Jupiter Jim: *proceeds to throw five packs of mentos into a barrel full of diet coke*

~

Donnie: The waiter at Olive Garden has been grating my cheese for 6 hours now, waiting for me to say when. Customers are screaming. Three people have died. Donnie: I will not yield.

BIRTHDAY TIME, BOIIIIIII

At 11:11 this morning, I officially entered a new year of my life. To celebrate, I drew the Mad Dogs putting together a little party for my OC. :)