Idk What It Is But Every Time I Finally Feel Motivated And Inspired It Only Lasts For A Short Period.

Idk what it is but every time I finally feel motivated and inspired it only lasts for a short period. A few days, a week if I’m lucky. Then I fall back into depression. There’s no particular reason, I just end up feeling discouraged and hopeless again. It is so draining to move through this constant cycle. It feels like something is wrong w me. Im feeling very very somber tonight

I know. I know. I hold the truth in my hands. It slips through my fingers, but I still keep my grasp on it. For now, I just try not to look at your picture for too long. I try not to allow my gaze to reveal the complete adoration I feel toward you. I do not utter your name to anyone, I keep it for myself. I keep this love for myself. It was only a dream anyway.

Each time the sun emerges, peeking through the cracks in the clouds, I press my mouth to the warmth and suck it dry. I jump at the light, as if racing everyone around me to see who can reach it first. I grab as much of it in my hands as I can hold, hoping I have enough tenderness to sustain me until the sun shows it’s face again.

The small joys are holy. I look into her eyes, a green more pure than any earthly hue on this planet. I feel her breath against my cheek—warmth so tender it brings me to tears. I feel her arm brush against mine, skin on skin, wound on wound. These glimpses of her fuel my fire. I would die out if it weren’t for her.

They tell me that the end is coming, growing nearer everyday. “Jesus is coming back,” they utter, clutching at their crucifixes of empty noise, “shape up before it is too late.” I never paid any mind to the words they say. The words mean nothing to me. If Jesus comes down to this earth, I will run the other way.

I am SICK of people saying shit like “girlsplain” and “girl dinner” and thinking it is a cute, funny joke that everyone is in on. To YOU it is a joke, but to many of the people consuming your content, it is another way of making fun of women and femininity. By saying “girl dinner” instead of just dinner, you perpetuate the idea that women are some “other” group apart from the “regular”group (men). And saying “girlsplain” and then explaining something with slang words like “slay” and simplifying things just perpetuates the idea that women need things dumbed down and that they can’t hold coherent thoughts or express themselves eloquently. Anyway just be aware of the ways in which you are adding to your own oppression.