But If You Bleed Long Enough, You Start To Miss The Taste Of Your Blood. You Crave The Metal In The Back

But if you bleed long enough, you start to miss the taste of your blood. You crave the metal in the back of your throat. You want it bad. You want the pain bad.

Love is so large for me that it transcends all rules. I have often looked at my difficulty to decipher romantic and platonic feelings as a fault, but it is not. On the contrary, it is one of my biggest strengths. I love so loudly, so deeply, so truly…the lines between friendship and romantic love blur so easily. No matter what the nature of our relationship happens to be, my love for you remains undying, unconditional, entirely loyal, and undefinable. Love, for me, is bigger than love. It is faith, it is holiness, it is the divine, it is life.

you laugh and I laugh and it is holy. to me this is religious, this joyous energy that exists between your body and mine. I want it, I crave it, it lifts me up, it gets me high. I raise my hands up to the sky and praise whoever created you each time I see your haunting smile. we sit and we talk and your knee is touching mine. I do not move and you do not move because we are friends. you are my friend. except…I move a little closer. I want more, I need more, I feel the pull and I cannot resist. I am sorry, I always want more.

my heart is filled with such deep, irrevocable desire for you. for your delicate touch, for your angelic voice, for the light in your eyes. desire, desire, desire. such a light and romantic word. it does the real thing no justice. desire is enormous, expansive, cannibalistic, consuming. I love you to the point of destruction. I want for you so much that it kills me—do you understand? I eat my heart.

The hole is part of you. You cannot fill it. You can fill in the space around it, but you cannot fill the hole.

I want to create so badly, so desperately. In my dreams, I am an artist. I weave poems of delicacy and create images of beauty and sing songs of passion. I can feel her so strongly, that person in my dreams. Sometimes, it feels as though she is my shadow…following me, trailing after me, dragging behind me like a rotting corpse. I wish I could be her. I want to create gorgeous, haunting art. I want to be something beautiful.