Babysitting

Babysitting

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Jason: [grabs Damian by the shirt and pulls him along] come on demon you’re hanging out with me this weekend

Damian: -tt- I don’t hang out

Jason: well you’re gonna learn. C’mon we’ll play grand theft auto

Dick: [from the kitchen as they’re leaving] You better not play that video game with him Jason! He’s too young!

Jason: [rolls his eyes] yeah yeah…

-later-

Jason: [leaning against a Lamborghini] what was that game Dick was talking about anyway?

Damian: [in the front seat, hotwiring the car] do I look like Drake to you? I don’t play video games.

Reading OFMD fics while being in the Witcher fandom be like:

What a normal reader pictures:

What my brain immediately pictures:

Highly disappointed that the “Infinite” Realms is always just full of ghosts. Monster AUs have so much potential, especially with all the DC crossovers. Vampires that can subsist off the pure energy of ectoplasm present in the air, so they’re never hungry. They can grow/hide/exist all by themselves. Alternately, the realms could act as a base of indefinite preparation for them if they decide to do anything to an infinite number of worlds. Werewolves that are free to play like wolves, to hunt the game they seeded their own dimension/realm with, to be perfectly free. The Yetis who used their magic to make their own home in the Realms as the Ice Age began to fail them. Duulaman’s Egypt, home of an entire sorcerous people, capable of casting the souls of their people into an eternal realm where they could thrive forever in, essentially, the field of reeds. The Mummies found there reanimated so that their revered ancestors could walk amongst them again, or their bodies rejuvenated (good plot there if Hotep-Ra, a traitor, was left as a mummy by his people when everybody else was brought back to life). Pandora, Guardian of Hope, and her Realm of Elysium, a home for all the monsters of Ancient Greece who were cast out/shunned/destroyed by society. A place of healing for the traumatized Minotaur (he was raised to kill people in a dark maze, that’s gotta be traumatic), cursed Medusa, etc (seriously, a rehab center where you can literally hold Hope in your hands when you have none…hek). Not to mention, since she guards Hope, it could be a literal object, and Vlad stealing Hope but not knowing how to use its power is a *highly* interesting plot to me. Somewhere that Desiree, a djinni, can avoid the people who’d only attempt to abuse her power to grant wishes. (There are so many more things to add…Liches, Witch Covens, Dora and Aragon’s Kingdom of Mattingly [dragons], other creatures) Sure, some beings there–like Skulker–want to fight, but by the very nature of Lairs/Realms, he can’t follow others into their homes and expect to survive, so they are safer than anywhere else. The ghosts and creatures that love to battle are free to do so in the regenerative chaos of the realms. The ghosts who want to be left alone can find their own slice of infinity. It truly is, or at least could be, a paradise for everybody… Which makes Pariah Dark so much eviler. The moment he awoke, he destroyed people’s homes so they couldn’t hide from him, he enslaved entire peoples to make thralls for his army, he devoured ghosts–absorbing their essence–to rebuild his lost strength, he used those armies to attack the realms capable of resisting him for a time, he pulled a resisting city into the Realms as an act of aggression. Everything he did was in stark contrast to the path of existence the nations of the realms had chosen, and his will was absolute; all the beings capable of being compelled were compelled to serve him, every lich lost their phylactery to him and were forced to submit to him, every free group was under threat of slavery or extinction. Even Vortex and Undergrowth, two incredibly dark beings, resisted as well as they could, but had Danny not attacked Pariah Dark’s center of power, even they would have fallen. Essentially, Danny stopping Pariah Dark would have far more of an impact, yet also none at all as it would be mostly behind the scenes. Danny, all of fourteen years old, battled the evilest being to have existed at that time in a fight to the death without any guarantee of survival. Frostbite and the other beings, feeling the weakness of Pariah’s forces, since he was occupied with Danny and the attacking ghost forces, launched their own counterattack and arrived before Danny’s duel was over to see Danny, still so small even in the battle suit, fighting the titanic mass of Pariah Dark, King of all Ghosts. Frostbite, left arm shredded by a summoned beast, watched in fascinated horror as Danny’s strength waned, but he still forced Dark back. Pandora, Guardian of Hope, watched a tiny child stare down a stone-face goliath. Vortex, for all his wrath, couldn’t have stood against Pariah, but that diminutive whelp was a storm unto himself and nothing, not even Pariah Dark, it seemed, could stand against a force of nature. Nocturne, Lord of Sleep, King of Dreams, and once a slave to Pariah Dark, had suffered from nightmares since Pariah’s return; his dream realm had fallen, his sleepwalkers obliterated, his precious, harvested dreams destroyed, and Pariah had once again enslaved Nocturne, yet the power of Pariah’s ritual was waning, and Nocturne felt himself awakening from his nightmare. He watched a tiny child, someone who should be dreaming instead of facing down a nightmare, deliver the dream of the king of dreams; Pariah was being forced into his sarcophagus. For Frostbite, Danny became the Great One; to Pandora, he was a child of Hope, a miracle (it didn’t hurt that he locked a great evil in a box either); to Vortex, he was a little storm, a squall; to Nocturne, Danny was a savior and a dream come true, surely, Nocturne could repay him with good dreams…maybe even for the little one’s entire Lair… All I’m saying is that context is everything, and having Vortex be a literal embodiment of storms and nature rather than just a ghost with storm powers is a lot more enticing to me. Pandora being Danny’s ghost mom is great, but her seeing him as a child of what she embodies rather than just “he is smol, I must help,” seems richer. Then there’s the DC crossover potential once Danny inevitably begins letting the peaceful individuals stay in Amity Park under his protection, or sending those who’d fit in to the Infinite Realms (Mr. Freeze and Nora relocating to the Far Frozen where he can get all the help he needs, not live in his suit, and either turn Nora into a ghost or cure her, Poison Ivy to live with Undergrowth [kinda like that island she had in the Bahamas], Killer Croc most likely to Egypt, Harley would fit in with Kitty and Johnny’s level of crazy, etc.). Imagine Batman investigating all his missing rogues, but when he eventually tracks them down, he finds them living peacefully in an infinite realm of places where they can’t hurt anybody permanently, and the people there are similarly obsessive/crazy. But also, Ghost King Danny, Protector of the Infinite Realms, etc., etc., leading an army of “monsters” to defend Earth from Darkseid, or, since Darkseid is always after the Anti-life Equation (considering all their different abilities, it would make sense for ghosts/ectoplasm to be the essence of the equation), defending the Infinite Realms against Darkseid/the Anti-Monitor. That’s all neglecting the chaos potential of Jack and Maddie believing all things not expressly human are ghosts. I also firmly think that since the Infinite Realms connect all universes, there can only ever be one ghost/ectoplasmic entity of any given individual regardless of the universe(s) of origin, and I have written pseudoscience for it (using some computer science and physics ideas, so it makes sense with less hand-waving). That’s neither here nor there, so I will end this before it gets any longer. Anyways, that’s the thought I just had, figured I’d share it with y’all and see if y’all were interested.

once again adding sub par memes to the danny phantom meme verse bc im at work and really bored

I have absolutely no memeing skills, but please take this random thought your fic inspired:

Tim: “-and he’s at least a couple thousand years old and sometimes his face goes all staticky and creepy and I’m pretty sure he’s the strongest guy I’ve ever met and-“

Hood, to Nightwing: “Does he realize he’s a monsterfucker or should I tell him?”

But seriously, thank you for the incredible story (that I totally didn’t binge read until 6am last night).

tim drake: certified monster fucker

For the monster fucker vertical limit Tim joke post that I love a bit too much I offer meh quality meme