Hi! Feel Free To Ignore This If You Don't Have The Spoons, It's A Question About ADHD. I'm Tempted To

Hi! Feel free to ignore this if you don't have the spoons, it's a question about ADHD. I'm tempted to get tested for both ADHD and austism bc I feel like I have a lot of those symptoms. But how do I tell the difference? There seems to be a lot of overlap and I have no idea if I have one or the other or both? Every time I see those "this is an ADHD experience" or "this is a ASD experience" I seem to relate. Some friends think I have both, others say because I can drive I can't have ADHD? thanks

Apologies if this is a messy ramble, I’m a bit out of it right now, but let me just start with this:

“others say because I can drive I can’t have ADHD”.

That is just an inherently untrue statement. There are plenty of people with ADHD who drive, my husband is one of them, as is my best friend, and several other people I can think of right now. Some folks with ADHD might not feel able to drive, but that is not the blanket “norm”, because no one person with ADHD has the exact same life experience and capabilities. Statements like that come from a place of ignorance, and lets be honest here, a little bit of ableism.

I also get people telling me all the time that I can’t actually have ADHD cause I’m an editor, and editing requires detail orientated work and “hyper just means you’re a scatter brain right? it’s not like you have the attention span for that”, to which I reply: have you ever met anyone with a hyper fixation? Some of us can channel that shit.

Of course that’s not true for everyone with ADHD, cause ADHD as we are coming to realize, is also a spectrum disorder.

Some people will swing clearly to one “side” of hyper, while some people will struggle with inattentiveness. Some others, like myself, have a combination of both, because although the sliding scale analogy can be helpful, it’s not entirely accurate. My exact diagnosis is combination ADHD with emphasis toward hyperactivity and rapid cycling thoughts combined with inattentiveness. Physically I’m not hyper, but mentally my brain is always “on”, which y’know, if you follow my blog it’s pretty evident I’m always going a mile a minute inside my own head, but outwardly? I’d pass for neurotypical because I’m not what ADHD “looks like”.

You are also right in that there is a lot of overlap between ADHD and ASD, and it is entirely possible to have either one or the other or both, and chances are if you are relating to those posts? There’s something there worth looking into.

I always used to find ADHD posts relatable, but just assumed everyone did on some level. Turns out not so much… turns out some people don’t have executive dysfunction problems… turns out some people can go to sleep at a regular hour and fall asleep within minutes, or finish a thought through without jumping onto a next one, or don’t find boredom so excruciatingly painful it can hurt like a physical ache or make you want to scream… seems fake I know, but apparently it’s a thing.

For the longest time I beat myself up for not being smart enough, for being lazy, for not being able to do such basic every day things. I hated myself for it. I despised what I perceived as personal and moral failings on my part, because I could not do supposedly easy things in the way people said I ought. Turns out there was a reason for that. And I am smart, I’m not lazy, and I can do things. I just needed a better level of support than I was getting.

If you want to get tested for both, get tested for both. I did on the advice of my therapist. It was enlightening and really helped me realize how much my ADHD actually affects my every day life, which in turn has helped me start to make it a lot, lot better.

I hope some of that was helpful to you, and I hope you find the help you need

This felt very appropriate to share to main.

As a man with social anxiety, I like to know how to do things, what to say, and questions I need to ask before I do or say ANYTHING, EVER. I NEED to know the proper process for things, or else I flounder and have a Very Bad Time(TM)

i just spent 20 minutes in the shower sobbing bc i’m scared of growing up and having to do things on my own i hate myself wtf i’m such a BABY

I normally try not to share things that aren’t related to adhd/adhd-adjacent, but this one hit me hard.

Yesterday my mom, my 5 year old nephew and i were hanging out, and my mom kept constantly using female pronouns and calling me by my birth-name. 

finally my nephew interrupted her to say,  “He wants to be called Ben. He’s a boy now. You can’t call him a girl if he’s a boy.” 

and right after that, she started using my pronouns and name correctly. i guess it kind of hits you hard when a 5 year old child calls you out, cause anytime i’d try to correct her she’d keep making the excuse, “It’s hard, I’m trying.” 

i am so proud of my nephew, i shit you not.

it makes me so sad when ppl apologize for talking so much about their hyperfixations. like no keep going i love you

if i had ADHD i would simply stop being hyperactive and inattentive

*acquires a new hyperfixation* great! this should keep me going for the next 2 months or 24 hours